Jeff was abroad at daylight. Even Bud, whose habit was sunrise, had not yet wakened from his heavy slumbers1. But Nan was stirring. She heard Jeff moving, and she saw him beyond her window. She saw him bring his horse from the barn, saddled and bridled2. In a moment he had mounted and ridden away. Then she dressed, and, for the rest, wondered at the possible outcome of it all. Half an hour later the sun rose and the day's work began.
When Jeff reached his home it was still wrapped in the habit of night. There was no one and nothing stirring, for, as yet, only the golden glow of the eastern sky promised the coming of day.
His mood was bitter. But his purpose was calculated and deliberate. He had given his promise in answer to Nan's irresistible3 pleading. But otherwise the man was completely unchanged. He moved away down to the corrals, and leaned against the great lateral4 rails which closed the entrance. The beasts within were chewing the cud, and still picking at the remains5 of their overnight feed.
They were a goodly sight to eyes that understood the meaning of such things. It was only one of a number of corrals similarly crowded with beasts, that were, for various reasons, herded6 in shelter at night. These were a few, a very few of the vast numbers which bore the familiar "O----" brand. There were the outlying stations which harbored their hundreds. There were the pastures with their complement7 of breeding cows. Then there were the herds8 of two- and three-year-olds roaming the plains at their will, fattening9 for the buyers who came at intervals10.
Thoughts of these things compelled Jeff now. And he saw what Nan had saved him from. Wreck11 had been threatening in the course he had marked out for himself at first. How could prosperity have maintained under the conditions he would have imposed? Even now, under the modification12 which Nan had appealed for, he failed to see the continuation of that success he had striven so hard for. The incentive13 was no longer in him, he told himself. Where lay the use, the purpose in it all? The future? That dream future which had come to him could never mature now. It was no longer a dream. It was nightmare.
He wondered why he had yielded to Nan's entreaty14. It all seemed so purposeless now in the broad light of day. He could force himself to live with his wife--under the same roof. Perhaps in time he could even meet her in daily intercourse15. She might even become a factor in the great work of the Obar. But the joy of achievement had been snatched from him. All that he had foreseen might be achieved in the work, even. But the process would have been completely robbed of its inspiration, and was therefore not to be counted worth while.
The thought of the woman's regard for him left him cold. He dwelt upon it. Suddenly he wondered. Two days ago he could not have thought of it without a thrill. Now it meant--nothing. He remembered Nan's appeal. Why--why had it affected16 him last night? It had not been because of--Evie.
Nan had talked of justice--duty. He could see no appeal in either now. Why should he be forced to observance of the laws of justice, or--duty toward a woman who----?
He stirred restlessly. His attention was drawn17 to his horse. He moved over to it and off-saddled. Then he returned to his place at the corral. The sun was just breaking the horizon. He heard sounds of life coming from the bunkhouse.
Nan's appeal no longer convinced him--now that he was away from her. But--he had pledged his word. He could not break his word to Nan, although he longed--madly longed to resaddle his horse and ride away, and leave behind him forever this place which had suddenly become so full of bitter memories. No--he had pledged his word.
Soon he must once more confront his wife. He reviewed the possibilities. The night long he had spent in considering the position he intended to place before her. Would she accept it? And--what then? The long days of work, unlit by any hope of the future. The process of building, building, which all men desire, without that spark of delight which inspires the desire. Just the drudgery18 of it. The resulting wealth and commercial power of it maybe, but not one moment of the joy with which only two days before he had regarded the broad vista19 of the future.
Now the smell of cooking reached him from the bunkhouse. Several men were moving down toward the corrals. He passed on toward the house. A moment or so later he stood on the veranda20 gazing out at the streaming cattle as they moved toward the wide home pastures, under the practised hands of the ranchmen. It was a sight to inspire any cattleman, and, for a moment, the brooding eyes of the master of it all lit with a flash of their former appreciation22. But the change was fleeting23. The blue depths clouded again. The question once more flashed through his brain--what--what was the use of it all?
None, none at all. Every dream had been swept from his waking thoughts. Every enchanting24 emotion was completely dead. The woman who had inspired the rose-tinted glasses through which he had gazed upon the future no longer had power so to inspire him. By her own action she had taken herself out of his life. She could never again become a part of it. He would live on with her, under the same roof, a mockery of the life which their marriage imposed upon them. He had pledged that to Nan, and he would not break his word to--Nan. But love? His love was gone. It was dead. And he knew that the ashes of that once passionate25 fire could never be stirred into being again.
There was a rustle26 of skirts behind him. He heard, but did not turn. A fierce passion was rising to his brain, and he dared not turn until he had forced it under restraint.
"You have come back, Jeff?"
The man turned.
"Yes, Evie." Then he added: "I told you I would."
His voice was gentler than he knew. The harshness of their previous meeting had gone out of it. Nor was he aware of the change, nor of the reason, although in his mind was the memory of his promise to Nan.
"And you'll tell me your decision--now?"
The humility29 was heart-breaking. Nor was the man unaffected by it. He looked into the beautiful face, for the dark eyes were averted30. Then his gaze dropped to the charming figure daintily clad in a simple morning frock of subtle attraction. But his eyes came back to the face with its crowning of beautiful dark hair, nor was there any change in their expression as a result of their survey.
"As well now as later."
"What is it?"
For the first time Jeff found himself gazing into the wide dark eyes. There was pain in them. Apprehension31. There were the signs about them of long sleepless32 nights. He shut the sight of these things out by the process of turning away to observe the general movement going on in the near distance.
"Guess there's no use to say a deal," he said, a curiously33 moody34 note taking possession of his voice. "If I did, why, I'd likely say a whole heap more than a man may say to his wife. Guess the right an' wrong of things had best lie in our hearts. You know just what you did, and why you did it. I know what you did, an' can only guess why you did it. I don't figger any talk could convince either of us different to how we think and feel. Maybe there's Someone knows the rights of this thing better than either of us. That being so, I allow He'll ultimately fix things as He intends. Meanwhile it's for us to do as we feel, just so far as our personal earthly concerns go."
The coldness in his voice had grown, and it left Evie with a complete sense of hopelessness that was harder to bear than any fears which violence of language might have inspired.
His pause was prolonged. She made no effort to break it, she dared not break it. For the man, he was gathering35 the threads of what he had to say so as to deliver it concretely. He feared to prolong this interview. In view of his decision he must not risk any violent outbreak such as his feelings were even now striving to force upon him.
"Maybe you'll remember what I said to you about Ronny just after we were--married. I don't guess you'll have forgotten, seeing things are as they are. What I said then stands now. If you'd been a man I'd have shot you down in your tracks when I got to home last night. That should say all that need be said about how I'm feeling now. You aren't a man, and you're my wife. Well--you're still my wife. That means it's up to me to keep you as though this thing hadn't broken things up. I intend to act as right as I can by you. This is your home. You must use it, if you feel that way. The Obar has to go on. It's your means of living. It's my means of living. Then there are others concerned in it. For these reasons I shall carry on things, and your knowledge of this sort of work should hand you a reasonable share in the running of this place. If you feel you can act this way, without remembering we're man and wife, why, I guess we can agree to live our--separate--lives under the same roof. If you don't feel you can do this, why, you need to say so right here an' now, an' state your wishes. I'll do my best to carry them through, provided you understand our lives are separate from now on. Do you get that?"
Did she get it? Could there be any mistaking those cold tones, that ruthless decision?
From slightly behind him Elvine had stood watching with straining eyes the still figure, speaking with so obvious a repression36 of feeling, his eyes steadily37 fixed38 upon the distant horizon. Once or twice an ominous39 flush had suddenly flamed up in her eyes. A deep flush had stained her cheeks. But as he ceased speaking the same shrinking, the same humility marked her attitude. She knew instinctively40 she dared not say the things she was yearning41 to pour out. She knew instinctively that any such course would at once break down that thin veneer42 of restraint he was exercising. And for perhaps the first time in her life she stood awed43 and cowed by a man.
But this woman was the slave of her passions, and she knew it. It was this now that made a coward of her. With all the power of self in her she had abandoned herself to her love for her husband. And, with slavish submission44, she was prepared to accept his words rather than banish45 herself out of his presence altogether. A mad, wild hope lay somewhere deep down in her heart that some day he could be made to forget. That some day, through what looked to her like endless days of devotion and help, she might win back something of what she had lost. She knew her own attraction. She knew her own powers. Might there not then be hope in the dim future?
She had no pride where Jeff was concerned. She wanted him. His love was all life to her now. If she had followed the natural course which should have been hers and refused his proposal, she would have been closing the door, finally, upon all that made life possible. If she submitted there still remained to her the vaguest possible shadow of hope. This was her thought and motive46 in the crisis with which she was faced, and her calculations were made out of her yearning, and without true understanding of the man with whom she was dealing48.
Jeff awaited her decision under an enforced calm.
"It's for you to say," she said, after some moments. "Nor is the choice mine. I shall obey. You've said I can help in the work. Maybe it's my right. I'll claim that right anyway. It's the only right I'll claim. I've only one other thing to say, and maybe you'll let me speak it this once."
"Go on."
"I didn't guess I was doing wrong. I don't know now I did wrong. Anyway, if what I did was wrong it's against God's laws and not man's. Maybe you've a right to punish me. I don't know. Anyway, my life and interests are bound to yours, and I want you to know every effort of mine will be to further--your interests. This has made no change in me--that way. You can trust me as you'd trust yourself. I'm not here to squeal49 for any mercy from you, Jeff. And maybe some day you'll--understand. I guess your breakfast's ready. I'll have mine later."
* * * * * *
Later in the day Elvine rode out from the ranch21 house. Nor did she concern herself with her object, nor her course, beyond a wild desire for the solitude50 of the hills. The full torture of the new life, on the threshold of which she now stood, had not come upon her until after the effects of her interview with her husband had had time to calm down. Then to remain in the house, which had become a sort of prison to her, was made impossible. She must get out. She must break into activity. She felt that occupation alone could save her reason.
So she struck out for the hills. Their claim of earlier days was upon her. The hills, and their wooded valleys. Their brooding calm, their dark shadows, their mysterious silence. These things claimed her mood.
She rode recklessly across the wide spread of Rainbow-Hill Valley. She had no thought for the horse under her. She would have welcomed the pitfalls51 which mighty52 have robbed her of the dreadful consciousness of the disaster which had overwhelmed her. She was striving to flee from thoughts from which she knew there was no escape. She was striving to lose herself in the activities of the moment.
The switchback of the plain rose and fell under her horse's busy hoofs53. It rose higher, and ever higher, as she approached the western slopes. She left the fenced pastures behind her, and the last signs of the life to which she was now committed. Before her the woodlands rose up shrouded54 in their dark foliage55. The mourning aspect of the pines suited her temper; she felt as though their drooping56 boughs57 were in harmony with the bereavement58 of her soul.
She plunged59 amidst the serried60 aisles61 of leafless trunks with something like welcome for their shadows. She rode on regardless of distance and direction.
From the crest62 of a hill she looked down upon narrow mountain creek63 surging between borders of pale green foliage. The sound of the waters came up to her, and the wilderness64 of it all appealed, as, at that moment, nothing else could have appealed. She pressed her blowing horse forward, and rode down to the banks so densely65 overgrown.
She leaped from the saddle. She relieved her horse of its saddle and flung herself upon the mossy ground in the shelter of a cluster of spruce. The humid heat was oppressive. The tumbling waters were unable to stir the atmosphere. But their music was soothing66, and the sight of their turbulent rush seemed to hold sympathy for her troubled heart. And so she lay there, her head propped67 upon a supporting hand, and yielded herself to the sway of her emotions.
After a while tears dimmed her eyes. They overflowed68 down her cheeks. She had reached the end of endurance before yielding to her woman's pitiful weakness. Time had no meaning now. Place had lost its influence. She saw nothing, knew nothing but the trouble which had robbed her of all she lived for.
Then came the inevitable69. Her tears eventually relaxed the tension of her nerves, and, after several ineffectual attempts to keep them open, the weight of the atmosphere closed her eyes and yielded her the final mercy of sleep.
* * * * * *
Elvine awoke with a start. She awoke with the conviction of the presence of the man she had met in the hill regions before. She knew some one was near her, but, for the moment----
Yes. She sat up. A pair of brown eyes were gazing down into hers. Then came the voice, and it was low, and gentle. It had nothing startling in it.
"Why, say, an' I've been hunting your trail this hour, taking you for--some one else."
Nan had been standing47 with her arm linked through her horse's reins70. Now she relinquished71 them, and flung herself upon the ground before the startled woman.
Elvine stared at her with unease in her dark eyes. Nor did she gain reassurance72 from the pretty face with its soft brown hair, and the graceful73 figure beneath its brown cloth riding suit. Yet she was not insensible to the companionship. Her greater fears had been of the man, Sikkem, who had been in her waking thoughts.
"You were following my tracks?" she demanded uncertainly.
Nan's eyes grew grave.
"I certainly was. Though I didn't guess they were yours. Say, you must have crossed the tracks I was following," she added thoughtfully. "Did you see anybody? Four fellers? Mighty tough-looking citizens, an' strangers?"
The frankness of the girl reestablished confidence.
Elvine sat up.
"No," she said. Then the wonder of it possessed74 her. "But you--you alone were following on the tracks of four tough strangers?" she cried incredulously.
Nan smiled. Her smile was pretty. It was a confident, wise little smile.
"Sure," she said. "I saw them, and it was up to me. You see, Evie, we folks out here kind of need to think diff'rent. A girl can't just help being a girl, but when rustlers are around, raising small Cain with her men-folks' goods, why, she's got to act the way they would when they light on a suspicious trail. I was guessing that track would lead me somewhere. But," she added with a grimace75, "I wasn't as smart as I figgered. You must have crossed it, an' I lost 'em."
"But can't you get back to it? Maybe I can help some. I've followed a trail before," Elvine added, in a tone which Nan understood better than the other knew.
But the girl shook her head.
"My plug is tired, and there's the chase back to home. I guess we'll leave 'em, and just--report. But there's something doing. I mean something queer. These folk don't reckon to show themselves in daytime, and I guess they were traveling from the direction of Spruce Crossing."
"That's where the man Sikkem's stationed," said Elvine.
"Sure. But I don't guess they been near his shanty76. They wouldn't fancy gettin' around Sikkem's lay-out in daytime. You see, he's--sudden."
Nan's confidence was not without its effect. But Elvine was less sure.
"This Sikkem. I don't like him. But----"
Nan dismissed the matter in her own way.
"Sikkem's been on the ranch nigh three years. He's a cattleman first, and hates rustlers worse than poison. But he's tough. Oh, he's tough, all right. I wouldn't gamble a pea-shuck he hasn't quite a dandy bunch of notches77 on his gun. But we're used to his sort."
Then she went on in a reflective fashion as though hollowing out a train of thought inspired by the man under discussion:
"Sort o' seems queer the way we see things. Right here on the prairie we mostly take folks on trust, an' treat 'em as we find 'em. Maybe they're wanted for all sorts of crimes. Maybe they done a turn in penitentiary78. Maybe they even shot up folk cold. These things don't signify a cent with us so they handle cattle right, and are ready to push lead into any bunch of rustlers lyin' around. Guess it's environment makes us that way. The prairie's so mighty wide it helps us folks to get wide."
Evie was watching the play of the girl's expressive79 eyes.
"I wonder--if you're right."
"Mostly, I guess."
"Mostly?"
Nan nodded.
Elvine shook her head. Her eyes were turned from the girl. They were staring down into the turbulent stream.
"I don't think I've found it that way."
"How?"
The interrogation was natural. But it brought Elvine's eyes sharply to the girl's, and, for a moment, they gazed steadily into each other's.
Then the woman's graceful shoulders went up.
"I see you know."
"And--you aren't mad with me for knowing? You aren't mad with Jeff for me knowing? I wanted you to know I knew. I wanted to tell you I knew, only I didn't just know how to tell you. Then I wanted to tell you--something else."
There was simple sincerity81 in every word the girl spoke82. The light in her eyes was shining with truth. Elvine saw it, and knew these things were so, and, in her loneliness of heart, in her brokenness of spirit, she welcomed the chance of leaning for support upon a soul so obviously strong and sympathetic. She yielded now as she would never have believed it possible to yield.
Suddenly she raised her hands to her head and pressed her fingers to her temples.
"Oh, I--I don't know what to do. I sort of feel I just can't--can't stop around. And yet---- Oh, I love him so I can't, daren't leave him altogether. You can't understand, child, no one can. You--oh, you've never known what love is, my dear. I'm mad--mad for him. And--and I can never come into his life again."
She dropped her hands from her head in a movement that to Nan seemed as though she were wringing83 them. Nan's own heart was thumping84 in her bosom85. She, too, could have cried out. But her eyes steadily, and almost tenderly, regarded the woman who had taken Jeff from her.
"You must stop around," she said in a low, firm tone. "Say, Evie, I don't guess I'm bright, or clever, or anything like that. I don't reckon I know things different to other folk. But just think how it would be if you went away now. You'd never see Jeff again, maybe, and he'd never know just how you love him. You see, men-folk are so queer, too. Maybe Jeff's right, and you and me are wrong. Maybe we're right, and he's all wrong. I can't say. But I tell you Jeff needs you now--more than ever. He don't know it, maybe. But he wants you, and if you love him you'll just--stand by. Oh, I could tell you of a thousand ways you can help him. A thousand ways you can show him your love without telling him. It means a hard fight for you. I know. And maybe you'll think he isn't worth it. But he is--to you. You love him. And any man a woman loves is worth to her every sacrifice she can make. I don't know. Maybe you got to be punished, not by us folk, not for what you done to Jeff. But Someone guesses you got to be punished, and this is the way He's fixed it. Say, Evie, you won't let go of things, will you? Maybe you can't see ahead just now. But you will--later. You love Jeff, and he just loves you, though he's sort of blind to it now. But he loves you, an' no one else. He wouldn't act the way he's doing if it weren't so. I sort of felt I must say all this to you. I--I don't know why--just. But I won't ever talk like this again. I haven't a right, I know. But I don't mean harm. I don't sure. And if you'll let me help you anyway I can I'll--be real glad."
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1
slumbers
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| 睡眠，安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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bridled
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| 给…套龙头( bridle的过去式和过去分词 )； 控制； 昂首表示轻蔑（或怨忿等）； 动怒，生气 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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lateral
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| adj.侧面的，旁边的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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herded
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| 群集，纠结( herd的过去式和过去分词 )； 放牧； （使）向…移动 | |
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complement
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| n.补足物，船上的定员；补语；vt.补充，补足 | |
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herds
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| 兽群( herd的名词复数 )； 牧群； 人群； 群众 | |
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fattening
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| adj.（食物）要使人发胖的v.喂肥( fatten的现在分词 )；养肥（牲畜）；使（钱）增多；使（公司）升值 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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modification
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| n.修改，改进，缓和，减轻 | |
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incentive
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| n.刺激；动力；鼓励；诱因；动机 | |
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entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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drudgery
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| n.苦工，重活，单调乏味的工作 | |
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vista
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| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
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veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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ranch
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| n.大牧场，大农场 | |
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appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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enchanting
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| a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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rustle
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| v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声 | |
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tragically
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| adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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moody
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| adj.心情不稳的，易怒的，喜怒无常的 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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repression
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| n.镇压，抑制，抑压 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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41
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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42
veneer
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| n.(墙上的)饰面，虚饰 | |
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43
awed
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| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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45
banish
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| vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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49
squeal
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| v.发出长而尖的声音；n.长而尖的声音 | |
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50
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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51
pitfalls
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| （捕猎野兽用的）陷阱( pitfall的名词复数 )； 意想不到的困难，易犯的错误 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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hoofs
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| n.（兽的）蹄，马蹄( hoof的名词复数 )v.（兽的）蹄，马蹄( hoof的第三人称单数 ) | |
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54
shrouded
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| v.隐瞒( shroud的过去式和过去分词 )；保密 | |
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foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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58
bereavement
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| n.亲人丧亡，丧失亲人，丧亲之痛 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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serried
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| adj.拥挤的；密集的 | |
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aisles
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| n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊 | |
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crest
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| n.顶点；饰章；羽冠；vt.达到顶点；vi.形成浪尖 | |
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creek
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| n.小溪，小河，小湾 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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densely
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| ad.密集地；浓厚地 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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propped
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| 支撑，支持，维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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overflowed
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| 溢出的 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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71
relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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reassurance
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| n.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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grimace
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| v.做鬼脸，面部歪扭 | |
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shanty
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| n.小屋，棚屋；船工号子 | |
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notches
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| n.（边缘或表面上的）V型痕迹( notch的名词复数 )；刻痕；水平；等级 | |
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penitentiary
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| n.感化院；监狱 | |
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expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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condemn
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| vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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82
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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83
wringing
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| 淋湿的，湿透的 | |
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84
thumping
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| adj.重大的，巨大的；重击的；尺码大的；极好的adv.极端地；非常地v.重击(thump的现在分词)；狠打；怦怦地跳；全力支持 | |
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85
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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