第五小节

 “Odd thing,” said Alpha, “that I should have been at Omega’s just as I was sickening for appendicitis¹. He’s great on appendicitis, is Omega.”

 

“Has he had it?”

 

“Not he! He’s never had anything. But he informed me that before he went to Mexico last year he took the precaution of having his appendix removed, lest he might have acute appendicitis in some wild part of the country where there might be no doctor just handy for an operation. He’s like that, you know. I believe if he had his way there wouldn’t be an appendix left in the entire family. He’s inoculated² against everything. They’re all inoculated against everything. And he keeps an elaborate medicine-chest in his house, together with elaborate typewritten instructions which he forced his doctor to give him—in case anything awful should happen suddenly. Omega has only to read those instructions, and he could stitch a horrible wound, tie up a severed³ artery⁴, or make an injection of morphia or salt water. He has a thermometer in every room and one in each bath. Also burglar-alarms at all doors and windows, and fire extinguishers on every floor. But that’s nothing. You should hear about his insurance. Of course, he’s insured his life and the lives of the whole family of them. He’s insured against railway accidents and all other accidents, and against illness. The fidelity⁵ of all his clerks is insured. He’s insured against burglary, naturally. Against fire, too. And against loss of rent through fire. His plate-glass is insured. His bunch of keys is insured. He’s insured against employers’ liability. He’s insured against war. He’s insured against loss of business profits. The interest on his mortgage securities is insured. His wretched little automobile⁶ is insured. I do believe he was once insured against the eventuality of twins.”

 

“He must feel safe,” I said.

 

“Not the least bit in the world,” replied Alpha. “Life is a perfect burden to him. That wouldn’t matter so much if he didn’t make it a perfect burden to all his family as well. They’ve all got to be prepared against the worst happening. If he fell down dead his wife would know just what to do. She knows all the details of his financial position exactly. She has to; he sees to that. He keeps her up to date in them every day. And she has to show him detailed⁷ accounts of the house as though it was a business undertaking⁸, because he’s so afraid of her being left helpless and incapable⁹. She just has to understand that ‘life is real, life is earnest,’ and death more so.

 

“Then the children. They’re all insured, of course. Each of the girls has to take charge of the house in turn. And they must all earn their own living—in case papa fell down dead. Take that second daughter. She hates music, but she has a certain mechanical facility with the fiddle¹⁰, and so she must turn it into coin, in order to be on the safe side. Her instincts are for fine clothes, idleness, and responsibility. She’d take the risks cheerfully enough if he’d let her. But he won’t. So she’s miserable¹¹. I think they all are more or less.”

 

“But still,” I put in, “to feel the burden of life is not a bad thing for people’s characters.”

 

“Perhaps not,” said Alpha. “But to be crushed under a cartload of bricks isn’t likely to do one much good, is it? Why, Omega’s a wealthy man, and d’you know, he must live on about a third of his income. The argument is, as usual, that he’s liable to fall down dead—and insurance companies are only human—and anyhow, old age must be amply provided for. And then all his securities might fall simultaneously¹². And lastly, as he says, you never know what may happen. Ugh!”

 

“Has anything happened up to now?”

 

“Oh, yes. An appalling¹³ disaster. His drawing-room hearthrug caught fire six years ago and was utterly¹⁴ ruined. He got eleven dollars out of the insurance company for that, and was ecstatically delighted about it for three weeks. Nothing worse ever will happen to Omega. His business is one of the safest in the country. His constitution is that of a crocodile or a parrot. And he’s as cute as they make ‘em.”

 

“And I suppose you don’t envy him?”

 

“I don’t,” said Alpha.

 

“Well,” I ventured, “let me offer you a piece of advice. Never travel in the same train with Mr. Omega.”

 

“Never travel in the same train with him? Why not?”

 

“Because if there were a railway accident, and you were both killed on the spot, the world might draw comparisons between the effect on your family and the effect on his, and your family wouldn’t like it.”

 

We remained silent for a space, and the silence was dramatic. Nervously¹⁵, I looked out of the window.

 

At length Alpha said:

 

“I suppose there is such a thing as the happy medium.”

 

“Good-bye, Alpha.” I rose abruptly¹⁶. “Sorry, but I’ve got to go at once.”

 

And I judiciously¹⁷ departed.

 

1 appendicitis   

n.阑尾炎，盲肠炎

参考例句：

• He came down with appendicitis.他得了阑尾炎。
• Acute appendicitis usually develops without relation to the ingestion of food.急性阑尾炎的发生通常与饮食无关。

2 inoculated   

v.给…做预防注射( inoculate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• A pedigree pup should have been inoculated against serious diseases before it's sold. 纯种狗应该在出售前注射预防严重疾病的针。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Disease can be spread by dirty tools, insects, inoculated soil. 疾病也能由不干净的工具，昆虫，接种的土壤传播。 来自辞典例句

3 severed   

v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂

参考例句：

• The doctor said I'd severed a vessel in my leg. 医生说我割断了腿上的一根血管。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• We have severed diplomatic relations with that country. 我们与那个国家断绝了外交关系。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 artery   

n.干线，要道；动脉

参考例句：

• We couldn't feel the changes in the blood pressure within the artery.我们无法感觉到动脉血管内血压的变化。
• The aorta is the largest artery in the body.主动脉是人体中的最大动脉。

5 fidelity   

n.忠诚，忠实；精确

参考例句：

• There is nothing like a dog's fidelity.没有什么能比得上狗的忠诚。
• His fidelity and industry brought him speedy promotion.他的尽职及勤奋使他很快地得到晋升。

6 automobile   

n.汽车，机动车

参考例句：

• He is repairing the brake lever of an automobile.他正在修理汽车的刹车杆。
• The automobile slowed down to go around the curves in the road.汽车在路上转弯时放慢了速度。

7 detailed   

adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的

参考例句：

• He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
• A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。

8 undertaking   

n.保证，许诺，事业

参考例句：

• He gave her an undertaking that he would pay the money back with in a year.他向她做了一年内还钱的保证。
• He is too timid to venture upon an undertaking.他太胆小，不敢从事任何事业。

9 incapable   

adj.无能力的，不能做某事的

参考例句：

• He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不会做出这么残忍的事。
• Computers are incapable of creative thought.计算机不会创造性地思维。

10 fiddle   

n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动

参考例句：

• She plays the fiddle well.她小提琴拉得好。
• Don't fiddle with the typewriter.不要摆弄那架打字机了。

11 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

12 simultaneously   

adv.同时发生地，同时进行地

参考例句：

• The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。
• The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。

13 appalling   

adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的

参考例句：

• The search was hampered by appalling weather conditions.恶劣的天气妨碍了搜寻工作。
• Nothing can extenuate such appalling behaviour.这种骇人听闻的行径罪无可恕。

14 utterly   

adv.完全地，绝对地

参考例句：

• Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
• I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

15 nervously   

adv.神情激动地，不安地

参考例句：

• He bit his lip nervously,trying not to cry.他紧张地咬着唇，努力忍着不哭出来。
• He paced nervously up and down on the platform.他在站台上情绪不安地走来走去。

16 abruptly   

adv.突然地，出其不意地

参考例句：

• He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
• I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。

17 judiciously   

adv.明断地，明智而审慎地

参考例句：

• Let's use these intelligence tests judiciously. 让我们好好利用这些智力测试题吧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• His ideas were quaint and fantastic. She brought him judiciously to earth. 他的看法荒廖古怪，她颇有见识地劝他面对现实。 来自辞典例句