Bobby spent as much time with Celia as he was allowed. On Sunday he took her on his regular excursion to Auntie Kate--and Auntie Kate's cookies.
"Aren't you glad there was no Sunday School to-day?" he inquired blithely1.
"I like Sunday School," stated Celia.
Bobby stopped short and looked at her.
"Do you like church too?" he demanded.
"I love it," she said.
"Do you like pollywogs?"
"Ugh, No!"
"Or stripy snakes?"
"They're _horrid!_"
"Or forts?"
"I don't know."
"Or rifles an' revolvers?"
"I am afraid of them."
"Or dogs?"
"I love dogs. I've got one home. His name is Pancho."
"What kind is he?" asked Bobby with a vast sigh of relief at finding a common ground. He had been brought to realize yesterday that little girls differ from boys; but for a few dreadful, floundering moments this morning he had feared they might, so to speak, belong to a different race. Afterward2 he realized that it would not have mattered even if she had not liked dogs. He merely wished to be near her. When he left her he immediately experienced the strongest longing4 to be again where he could see her, and breathe the deep, intoxicating5, delicious, clean influence of her near presence. And yet with her his moments of unalloyed happiness were few and his hours of sheer misery6 were many. Self-consciousness had never troubled Bobby before; but now in the presence of Gerald's slim elegance7 and easy, languid manner, he became acutely aware of his own deficiencies. His clothes seemed coarser; his hands and feet were awkward; his body dumpier; his face rounder and more freckled8. To him was born a great humility9 of spirit to match the great longing of it.
Nevertheless, as has been said, he and Duke trudged10 down to the Ottawa every morning, and again every afternoon, or as many of them as Mrs. Orde permitted. He was content to come under the immediate3 spell of the dancing, sprite-like, sunny little girl. No thought of the especial effort to please, called courtship, entered his young head. He played with the children, and kept as close to Her as possible; that was all. And one evening, trudging11 home dangerously near six o'clock, he ran slap against the legend chalked in huge letters on a board fence:
CELIA CARLETON and BOBBY ORDE
He stopped short, his heart jumping wildly. Often had he seen this coupling of names, other names; and he knew that it was considered a little of a shame, and somewhat of a glory. The sight confused him to the depths of his soul; and yet it also pleased him. He rubbed out the letters; but he walked on with new elation12. The undesired but authoritative13 sanction of public recognition had been given his devotion. Gerald was not considered. Somebody had observed; so the affair must be noticeable to others. And with another tremendous leap of the heart Bobby welcomed the daring syllogism14 that, since the somebody of the impertinent chalk had fathomed15 his devotion to her, might it not be possible, oh, remotely inconceivably possible, of course, that the unknown had equally marked some slight interest on her part for him? The board fence, the maple-shaded walk, the soft brown street of pulverized16 shingles17, all faded in the rapt glory of this vision. Bobby gasped18. Literally19 it had not occurred to him before. Now all at once he desired it, desired it not merely with every power of his child nature, but with the full strength of the man's soul that waited but the passing of years to spread wide its pinions20. The need of her answer to his love shook him to the depths, for it reached forward and back in his world-experience, calling into vague, drowsy21, fluttering response things that would later awaken22 to full life, and reanimating the dim and beautiful instincts that are an heritage of that time when the soul is passing the lethe of earliest childhood and retains still a wavering iridescence23 of the glory from which it has come. The question rose to his lips ready for the asking. He wanted to turn track on the instant, to call for Celia, to demand of her the response to his love.
And then, after the moment of exaltation, came the reaction. He was afraid. The thought of his stubby uninteresting figure came to him; and a deep sense of his unworthiness. What could she, accustomed to brilliant creatures of the wonderful city, of whom Gerald was probably but a mild sample, find in commonplace little Bobby Orde? He walked meekly24 home; and took a scolding for being late.
Nevertheless the idea persisted and grew. It came to the point of rehearsal25. Before he fell asleep that very night, Bobby had ready cut and dried a half-dozen different ways in which to ask the question, and twice as many methods of leading up to it. In the darkness, and by himself, he felt very bold and confident.
The next morning, however, even after he had succeeded in sequestrating Celia from her companions, he found it impossible to approach the subject. The bare thought of it threw him to the devourings of a panic terror. This new necessity tore him with fresh but delicious pains. He felt the need of finding out whether she cared for him as he had never conceived a need could exist; yet he was totally unable to satisfy it. By comparison the former misery of jealousy26 seemed nothing. Bobby lived constantly in this high breathless state of delight in Celia; and misery in the condition of his love for her. The Fuller boys and Angus saw him no more; the little library was neglected; the wood-box half the time forgotten; and the arithmetic, always a source of trouble, tangled28 itself into a hopeless snarl29 of which Bobby's blurred30 mental vision could make nothing.
All of his spare time he spent at his toy printing press, trying over and over for a perfect result--unblurred, well-registered, well aligned--in the shape of calling cards for "Miss Celia Carleton."
As soon as they were done to his satisfaction, he wrapped them in a clumsy package, and set out for the Ottawa, followed, as always, by Duke.
He found Celia alone in a rocking chair.
"Why didn't you come down this morning?" she asked him at once.
Bobby held up the package and looked mysterious.
"This," said he.
"Oh! what is it?" she cried, jumping up.
"I made it," said Bobby.
"What is it?" insisted Celia. "Show it to me."
But Bobby thrust the package firmly into his pocket.
"Up past our house there's a fine sand-hill to slide down," said he, "and we got a fine fort over the hill, and I know where there's a place you can climb up on where you can see 'most to Redding."
"Show me what you've got!" pleaded Celia.
"I will," Bobby developed his plan, "if you'll come up and play in the fort."
"All right," agreed Celia in a breath; "I'll tell mamma I'm going. And I'll hunt up the others."
"I don't want the others to go," announced Bobby boldly.
She calmed to a great stillness, and looked at him with intent eyes.
"All right," she agreed quietly after a moment.
They walked up the street together, followed by the solemn black and white dog. The shop windows did not detain them, as ordinarily. At the fire-engine house they turned under the dense31 shade of the maples32. But by the end of the second block said Bobby:
"We'll go this way."
He was afraid of encountering Angus, or perhaps the Fuller boys.
The sand-hill proved toilsome to Celia, but without a single pause she struggled bravely up its sliding, cascading33 yellow surface to the top. Then she stood still, panting a little, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright, the tiniest curls about her forehead wet and matted with perspiration34. With a great adoration35, Bobby looked upon her slender figure held straight against the blue sky. Almost--almost dared he speak. At least that is what he thought until the words rose to his lips; and then all at once he realized what a wide gulf36 lay between the imagined and the spoken word.
"The fort's over this way," said he gruffly.
"Show me the package first," insisted Celia.
Bobby drew out the cards, and thrust them into her hands.
"They're for you," he said hastily. "I did them on my printing press."
Celia was delighted and wanted to say so at length, but Bobby had his sex's aversion to spoken gratitude37.
"Come on, see the fort," he insisted.
He showed her the elaborate works and explained their uses, and pointed38 out the enemy of stumps39 charging patiently. Celia caught fire with the idea at once.
"I'll make bullets the way they did in the Colonies!" she cried.
"Have you 'Old Times in the Colonies,' too?" asked Bobby eagerly.
They seated themselves and talked of their books. Celia was just beginning the Alcott series. Bobby had never heard of them, and so they had to be explained. The children had romped41 and played games together; but they had never exchanged such ideas as their years had developed. For once Bobby forgot the fact of his love, and its delicious pains, and its need for something which he could not place, in the unselfconscious joy of intimate communion. He drew close to Celia in spirit; and his whole being expanded to a glow that warmed him through and through. The westering sun surprised them with the lateness of the hour. At the hotel gate Celia left him.
"My, but we had a good time!" said she.
With much trepidation42 Bobby next day suggested in face of the whole group that he and Celia should climb the high hill from which Bobby fondly believed he could see "'most to Redding." To his surprise, and to the surprise of the others, Celia consented at once. They climbed the hill in short stages, resting formally every ten feet. Bobby they called the Guide; while Celia was assigned the duty of announcing the resting-places. There was a wood-road up the hill, but they preferred the steep side. Trees shaded it; and undergrowth veiled it. Little open spaces were guarded mysteriously and jealously by the thickets43; little hot pockets held like cups the warmth of the sun. Birds flashed and disappeared; squirrels chattered44 indignantly; chipmunks45 scurried46 away. Occasionally they came to dense shade, and moss47, and black shadow, and low sweet shrubs48 a few inches high, and the tinkle49 of a tiny streamlet. Once a tangle27 of raspberries in a little clearing fell across their way. Bobby had never happened on these. They had been well picked over by the squaws, who sold fruit in town by the pailful, but the children managed to find a few berries, and ate them, enjoying their warm, satiny feel.
Thus they climbed for a long time. The rests were frequent, the course not of the straightest. For many years their recollection of that hill was as of a mountain. Finally the top sprang at them abruptly50, as though in joke.
"Come over this way, I'll show you," said Bobby.
He led the way to a point where the scant51 timber had in times past suffered a windfall. Through the opening thus made they looked abroad over the countryside. They could see the snake-fences about the farms, and the white dusty road like a ribbon and the stumps like black dots, and the waving green tops of the "wood lots" and far away the flash of the River.
Thus Bobby gained another of his great desires. Celia proved strangely acquiescent52 to suggestions for these excursions. Gerald's dreaded53 attractions relaxed their power over Bobby's spirit; and in corresponding degree Bobby regained54 the lost captaincy of his soul. The self-confidence which he lacked seeped55 gradually into him; and he began, though very tentatively, to recognize and respect his own value as an individual. These are big words to employ over the small problems of a child; yet in the child alone occur those silent developments, those noiseless changes which touch closest to true abstraction. Later in life our processes are stiffened56 by the material into forms of greater simplicity57.
They explored the country about; and what the shortness of their legs denied them in the matter of actual distance, the largeness of their children's imaginations lavished58 bounteously59.
Bobby had explored most of it all before--the stump40 pastures, the wood-lots, the hills, the beach, the piers60, the upper shifting downs of sand--but now he saw them for the first time because he was showing them to Celia. One day they made their way under tall beech61 woods, through a scrub of cedars62, and found themselves on the edge of low bluffs63 overlooking the yellow shore and the blue lake. Long years after he could remember it vividly64, and all the little details that belonged to it--the flash of the waters, the dip of gulls65, the gentle wash of the quiet wavelets against the shore, the thin strip of dark wet sand that marked the extent of their influences, and, in a long curve to the blue of distance, the uneven66 waste of the yellow dry sand on which lay and from which projected at all angles countless67 logs, slabs68 and timbers cast up derelict by the storms of years. But at the time he was not conscious of noticing these things. In the darkness of his room that night all he remembered was Celia standing69 bright and fair against the shadow of ancient twisted cedars.
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blithely
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| adv.欢乐地，快活地，无挂虑地 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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intoxicating
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| a. 醉人的,使人兴奋的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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freckled
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| adj.雀斑；斑点；晒斑；（使）生雀斑v.雀斑，斑点( freckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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trudged
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| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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trudging
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| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的现在分词形式） | |
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elation
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| n.兴高采烈，洋洋得意 | |
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authoritative
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| adj.有权威的，可相信的；命令式的；官方的 | |
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syllogism
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| n.演绎法，三段论法 | |
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15
fathomed
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| 理解…的真意( fathom的过去式和过去分词 )； 彻底了解； 弄清真相 | |
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pulverized
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| adj.[医]雾化的，粉末状的v.将…弄碎( pulverize的过去式和过去分词 )；将…弄成粉末或尘埃；摧毁；粉碎 | |
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17
shingles
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| n.带状疱疹；（布满海边的）小圆石( shingle的名词复数 )；屋顶板；木瓦（板）；墙面板 | |
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gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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pinions
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| v.抓住[捆住]（双臂）( pinion的第三人称单数 ) | |
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drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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iridescence
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| n.彩虹色；放光彩；晕色；晕彩 | |
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meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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rehearsal
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| n.排练，排演；练习 | |
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26
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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27
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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28
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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snarl
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| v.吼叫，怒骂，纠缠，混乱；n.混乱，缠结，咆哮 | |
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30
blurred
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| v.（使）变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）难以区分；模模糊糊；迷离 | |
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dense
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| a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的 | |
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maples
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| 槭树，枫树( maple的名词复数 )； 槭木 | |
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33
cascading
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| 流注( cascade的现在分词 )； 大量落下； 大量垂悬； 梯流 | |
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perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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37
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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38
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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stumps
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| （被砍下的树的）树桩( stump的名词复数 )； 残肢； （板球三柱门的）柱； 残余部分 | |
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stump
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| n.残株，烟蒂，讲演台；v.砍断，蹒跚而走 | |
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41
romped
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| v.嬉笑玩闹( romp的过去式和过去分词 )；（尤指在赛跑或竞选等中）轻易获胜 | |
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trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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43
thickets
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| n.灌木丛( thicket的名词复数 )；丛状物 | |
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44
chattered
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| （人）喋喋不休( chatter的过去式 )； 唠叨； （牙齿）打战； （机器）震颤 | |
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45
chipmunks
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| n.金花鼠( chipmunk的名词复数 ) | |
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46
scurried
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| v.急匆匆地走( scurry的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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48
shrubs
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| 灌木( shrub的名词复数 ) | |
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49
tinkle
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| vi.叮当作响；n.叮当声 | |
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50
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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51
scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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52
acquiescent
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| adj.默许的，默认的 | |
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53
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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54
regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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55
seeped
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| v.（液体）渗( seep的过去式和过去分词 )；渗透；渗出；漏出 | |
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56
stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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57
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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58
lavished
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bounteously
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| adv.慷慨地，丰富地 | |
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60
piers
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| n.水上平台( pier的名词复数 )；（常设有娱乐场所的）突堤；柱子；墙墩 | |
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61
beech
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| n.山毛榉；adj.山毛榉的 | |
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62
cedars
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| 雪松，西洋杉( cedar的名词复数 ) | |
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bluffs
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| 恐吓( bluff的名词复数 )； 悬崖； 峭壁 | |
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64
vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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gulls
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| n.鸥( gull的名词复数 )v.欺骗某人( gull的第三人称单数 ) | |
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66
uneven
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| adj.不平坦的，不规则的，不均匀的 | |
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countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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68
slabs
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| n.厚板，平板，厚片( slab的名词复数 )；厚胶片 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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