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Chapter 12
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    What measure of belief her explanation of Evelina's returnobtained in the small circle of her friends Ann Eliza did not pauseto enquire1. Though she could not remember ever having told a liebefore, she adhered with rigid2 tenacity3 to the consequences of herfirst lapse4 from truth, and fortified5 her original statement withadditional details whenever a questioner sought to take herunawares.

  But other and more serious burdens lay on her startledconscience. For the first time in her life she dimly faced theawful problem of the inutility of self-sacrifice. Hitherto she hadnever thought of questioning the inherited principles which hadguided her life. Self-effacement for the good of others had alwaysseemed to her both natural and necessary; but then she had taken itfor granted that it implied the securing of that good. Now sheperceived that to refuse the gifts of life does not ensure theirtransmission to those for whom they have been surrendered; and herfamiliar heaven was unpeopled. She felt she could no longer trustin the goodness of God, and there was only a black abyss above theroof of Bunner Sisters.

  But there was little time to brood upon such problems. Thecare of Evelina filled Ann Eliza's days and nights. The hastilysummoned doctor had pronounced her to be suffering from pneumonia,and under his care the first stress of the disease was relieved.

  But her recovery was only partial, and long after the doctor'svisits had ceased she continued to lie in bed, too weak to move,and seemingly indifferent to everything about her.

  At length one evening, about six weeks after her return, shesaid to her sister: "I don't feel's if I'd ever get up again."Ann Eliza turned from the kettle she was placing on the stove.

  She was startled by the echo the words woke in her own breast.

  "Don't you talk like that, Evelina! I guess you're on'y tiredout--and disheartened.""Yes, I'm disheartened," Evelina murmured.

  A few months earlier Ann Eliza would have met the confessionwith a word of pious6 admonition; now she accepted it in silence.

  "Maybe you'll brighten up when your cough gets better," shesuggested.

  "Yes--or my cough'll get better when I brighten up," Evelinaretorted with a touch of her old tartness7.

  "Does your cough keep on hurting you jest as much?""I don't see's there's much difference.""Well, I guess I'll get the doctor to come round again," AnnEliza said, trying for the matter-of-course tone in which one mightspeak of sending for the plumber8 or the gas-fitter.

  "It ain't any use sending for the doctor--and who's going topay him?""I am," answered the elder sister. "Here's your tea, and amite of toast. Don't that tempt9 you?"Already, in the watches of the night, Ann Eliza had beentormented by that same question--who was to pay the doctor?--and afew days before she had temporarily silenced it by borrowing twentydollars of Miss Mellins. The transaction had cost her one of thebitterest struggles of her life. She had never borrowed a penny ofany one before, and the possibility of having to do so had alwaysbeen classed in her mind among those shameful10 extremities11 to whichProvidence does not let decent people come. But nowadays she nolonger believed in the personal supervision13 of Providence12; and hadshe been compelled to steal the money instead of borrowing it, shewould have felt that her conscience was the only tribunal beforewhich she had to answer. Nevertheless, the actual humiliation14 ofhaving to ask for the money was no less bitter; and she couldhardly hope that Miss Mellins would view the case with the samedetachment as herself. Miss Mellins was very kind; but she notunnaturally felt that her kindness should be rewarded by accordingher the right to ask questions; and bit by bit Ann Eliza sawEvelina's miserable15 secret slipping into the dress-maker'spossession.

  When the doctor came she left him alone with Evelina, busyingherself in the shop that she might have an opportunity of seeinghim alone on his way out. To steady herself she began to sort atrayful of buttons, and when the doctor appeared she was recitingunder her breath: "Twenty-four horn, two and a half cards fancypearl . . ." She saw at once that his look was grave.

  He sat down on the chair beside the counter, and her mindtravelled miles before he spoke16.

  "Miss Bunner, the best thing you can do is to let me get a bedfor your sister at St. Luke's.""The hospital?""Come now, you're above that sort of prejudice, aren't you?"The doctor spoke in the tone of one who coaxes17 a spoiled child. "Iknow how devoted18 you are--but Mrs. Ramy can be much better caredfor there than here. You really haven't time to look after her andattend to your business as well. There'll be no expense, youunderstand--"Ann Eliza made no answer. "You think my sister's going to besick a good while, then?" she asked.

  "Well, yes--possibly.""You think she's very sick?""Well, yes. She's very sick."His face had grown still graver; he sat there as though he hadnever known what it was to hurry.

  Ann Eliza continued to separate the pearl and horn buttons.

  Suddenly she lifted her eyes and looked at him. "Is she going todie?"The doctor laid a kindly19 hand on hers. "We never say that,Miss Bunner. Human skill works wonders--and at the hospital Mrs.

  Ramy would have every chance.""What is it? What's she dying of?"The doctor hesitated, seeking to substitute a popular phrasefor the scientific terminology20 which rose to his lips.

  "I want to know," Ann Eliza persisted.

  "Yes, of course; I understand. Well, your sister has had ahard time lately, and there is a complication of causes, resultingin consumption--rapid consumption. At the hospital--""I'll keep her here," said Ann Eliza quietly.

  After the doctor had gone she went on for some time sortingthe buttons; then she slipped the tray into its place on a shelfbehind the counter and went into the back room. She found Evelinapropped upright against the pillows, a flush of agitation21 on hercheeks. Ann Eliza pulled up the shawl which had slipped from hersister's shoulders.

  "How long you've been! What's he been saying?""Oh, he went long ago--he on'y stopped to give me aprescription. I was sorting out that tray of buttons. MissMellins's girl got them all mixed up."She felt Evelina's eyes upon her.

  "He must have said something: what was it?""Why, he said you'd have to be careful--and stay in bed--andtake this new medicine he's given you.""Did he say I was going to get well?""Why, Evelina!""What's the use, Ann Eliza? You can't deceive me. I've justbeen up to look at myself in the glass; and I saw plenty of 'em inthe hospital that looked like me. They didn't get well, and Iain't going to." Her head dropped back. "It don't much matter--I'm about tired. On'y there's one thing--Ann Eliza--"The elder sister drew near to the bed.

  "There's one thing I ain't told you. I didn't want to tellyou yet because I was afraid you might be sorry--but if he says I'mgoing to die I've got to say it." She stopped to cough, and to AnnEliza it now seemed as though every cough struck a minute from thehours remaining to her.

  "Don't talk now--you're tired.""I'll be tireder to-morrow, I guess. And I want you shouldknow. Sit down close to me--there."Ann Eliza sat down in silence, stroking her shrunken hand.

  "I'm a Roman Catholic, Ann Eliza.""Evelina--oh, Evelina Bunner! A Roman Catholic--YOU?

  Oh, Evelina, did HE make you?"Evelina shook her head. "I guess he didn't have no religion;he never spoke of it. But you see Mrs. Hochmuller was a Catholic,and so when I was sick she got the doctor to send me to a RomanCatholic hospital, and the sisters was so good to me there--and thepriest used to come and talk to me; and the things he said kep' mefrom going crazy. He seemed to make everything easier.""Oh, sister, how could you?" Ann Eliza wailed22. She knewlittle of the Catholic religion except that "Papists" believed init--in itself a sufficient indictment23. Her spiritual rebellion hadnot freed her from the formal part of her religious belief, andapostasy had always seemed to her one of the sins from which thepure in mind avert24 their thoughts.

  "And then when the baby was born," Evelina continued, "hechristened it right away, so it could go to heaven; and after that,you see, I had to be a Catholic.""I don't see--""Don't I have to be where the baby is? I couldn't ever ha'

  gone there if I hadn't been made a Catholic. Don't you understandthat?"Ann Eliza sat speechless, drawing her hand away. Once moreshe found herself shut out of Evelina's heart, an exile from herclosest affections.

  "I've got to go where the baby is," Evelina feverishlyinsisted.

  Ann Eliza could think of nothing to say; she could only feelthat Evelina was dying, and dying as a stranger in her arms. Ramyand the day-old baby had parted her forever from her sister.

  Evelina began again. "If I get worse I want you to send fora priest. Miss Mellins'll know where to send--she's got an auntthat's a Catholic. Promise me faithful you will.""I promise," said Ann Eliza.

  After that they spoke no more of the matter; but Ann Eliza nowunderstood that the little black bag about her sister's neck, whichshe had innocently taken for a memento25 of Ramy, was some kind ofsacrilegious amulet26, and her fingers shrank from its contact whenshe bathed and dressed Evelina. It seemed to her the diabolicalinstrument of their estrangement27.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 enquire 2j5zK     
v.打听,询问;调查,查问
参考例句:
  • She wrote to enquire the cause of the delay.她只得写信去询问拖延的理由。
  • We will enquire into the matter.我们将调查这事。
2 rigid jDPyf     
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的
参考例句:
  • She became as rigid as adamant.她变得如顽石般的固执。
  • The examination was so rigid that nearly all aspirants were ruled out.考试很严,几乎所有的考生都被淘汰了。
3 tenacity dq9y2     
n.坚韧
参考例句:
  • Tenacity is the bridge to success.坚韧是通向成功的桥。
  • The athletes displayed great tenacity throughout the contest.运动员在比赛中表现出坚韧的斗志。
4 lapse t2lxL     
n.过失,流逝,失效,抛弃信仰,间隔;vi.堕落,停止,失效,流逝;vt.使失效
参考例句:
  • The incident was being seen as a serious security lapse.这一事故被看作是一次严重的安全疏忽。
  • I had a lapse of memory.我记错了。
5 fortified fortified     
adj. 加强的
参考例句:
  • He fortified himself against the cold with a hot drink. 他喝了一杯热饮御寒。
  • The enemy drew back into a few fortified points. 敌人收缩到几个据点里。
6 pious KSCzd     
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的
参考例句:
  • Alexander is a pious follower of the faith.亚历山大是个虔诚的信徒。
  • Her mother was a pious Christian.她母亲是一个虔诚的基督教徒。
7 tartness 00b6f75e4878016e1274baaffd063961     
n.酸,锋利
参考例句:
  • But the antler hunting sword has a good quality.The rigidity,tartness and preservation are not bad. 不过那把鹿角猎刀得品质就很不错得说。硬度、锋利度和保持性都非常得不错。 来自互联网
  • The bitter tartness that is associated with ginseng is not evident in this tea. 痛苦的锋利,它通常与人参显然没有在这个茶。 来自互联网
8 plumber f2qzM     
n.(装修水管的)管子工
参考例句:
  • Have you asked the plumber to come and look at the leaking pipe?你叫管道工来检查漏水的管子了吗?
  • The plumber screwed up the tap by means of a spanner.管子工用板手把龙头旋紧。
9 tempt MpIwg     
vt.引诱,勾引,吸引,引起…的兴趣
参考例句:
  • Nothing could tempt him to such a course of action.什么都不能诱使他去那样做。
  • The fact that she had become wealthy did not tempt her to alter her frugal way of life.她有钱了,可这丝毫没能让她改变节俭的生活习惯。
10 shameful DzzwR     
adj.可耻的,不道德的
参考例句:
  • It is very shameful of him to show off.他向人炫耀自己,真不害臊。
  • We must expose this shameful activity to the newspapers.我们一定要向报社揭露这一无耻行径。
11 extremities AtOzAr     
n.端点( extremity的名词复数 );尽头;手和足;极窘迫的境地
参考例句:
  • She was most noticeable, I thought, in respect of her extremities. 我觉得她那副穷极可怜的样子实在太惹人注目。 来自辞典例句
  • Winters may be quite cool at the northwestern extremities. 西北边区的冬天也可能会相当凉。 来自辞典例句
12 providence 8tdyh     
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝
参考例句:
  • It is tempting Providence to go in that old boat.乘那艘旧船前往是冒大险。
  • To act as you have done is to fly in the face of Providence.照你的所作所为那样去行事,是违背上帝的意志的。
13 supervision hr6wv     
n.监督,管理
参考例句:
  • The work was done under my supervision.这项工作是在我的监督之下完成的。
  • The old man's will was executed under the personal supervision of the lawyer.老人的遗嘱是在律师的亲自监督下执行的。
14 humiliation Jd3zW     
n.羞辱
参考例句:
  • He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。
  • He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。
15 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的
参考例句:
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
16 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
17 coaxes 16e5a2c87357f1eefb5271cf66e80059     
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的第三人称单数 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱
参考例句:
  • One coaxes, the other coerces. 一个唱红脸,一个唱白脸。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Now the analyzer coaxes the virus into revealing itself. 现在的分析者们会诱使病毒显形。 来自互联网
18 devoted xu9zka     
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的
参考例句:
  • He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
  • We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。
19 kindly tpUzhQ     
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地
参考例句:
  • Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
  • A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。
20 terminology spmwD     
n.术语;专有名词
参考例句:
  • He particularly criticized the terminology in the document.他特别批评了文件中使用的术语。
  • The article uses rather specialized musical terminology.这篇文章用了相当专业的音乐术语。
21 agitation TN0zi     
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动
参考例句:
  • Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
  • These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。
22 wailed e27902fd534535a9f82ffa06a5b6937a     
v.哭叫,哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She wailed over her father's remains. 她对着父亲的遗体嚎啕大哭。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The women of the town wailed over the war victims. 城里的妇女为战争的死难者们痛哭。 来自辞典例句
23 indictment ybdzt     
n.起诉;诉状
参考例句:
  • He handed up the indictment to the supreme court.他把起诉书送交最高法院。
  • They issued an indictment against them.他们起诉了他们。
24 avert 7u4zj     
v.防止,避免;转移(目光、注意力等)
参考例句:
  • He managed to avert suspicion.他设法避嫌。
  • I would do what I could to avert it.我会尽力去避免发生这种情况。
25 memento nCxx6     
n.纪念品,令人回忆的东西
参考例句:
  • The photos will be a permanent memento of your wedding.这些照片会成为你婚礼的永久纪念。
  • My friend gave me his picture as a memento before going away.我的朋友在离别前给我一张照片留作纪念品。
26 amulet 0LyyK     
n.护身符
参考例句:
  • We're down here investigating a stolen amulet.我们来到这里调查一个失窃的护身符。
  • This amulet is exclusively made by Father Sum Lee.这个护身符是沙姆.李长老特制的。
27 estrangement 5nWxt     
n.疏远,失和,不和
参考例句:
  • a period of estrangement from his wife 他与妻子分居期间
  • The quarrel led to a complete estrangement between her and her family. 这一争吵使她同家人完全疏远了。 来自《简明英汉词典》


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