Not so many years ago, fifteen or sixteen, or seventeen, perhaps, we were all following the Druce Case with immense interest. Stated baldly, as I remember it, the general thesis was that a Mr. Druce, keeper of a big furniture shop in Baker1 Street, who in due season died, and was buried in Highgate Cemetery2, was not Mr. Druce at all, but the Duke of Portland; the famous Duke who caused to be constructed the underground mansion3 at Welbeck, and was thought to be more than a little eccentric. Now, I have forgotten the detail, I regret to say, but if this Mr. Druce could be proved to have been, in fact, the Duke, then somebody would come in for a great deal of money. The original claimant went mad and died, and then another claimant appeared, and turned himself or herself into a company, and found some hundreds of people ready to subscribe4 quite large sums so that the legal proceedings5 should be taken and the recovered treasure distributed amongst them. This monstrous6 bubble of a story was finally burst by leave being given to open the Druce vault7 at Highgate; whereupon the body of poor Mr. Druce was disclosed and found to be undoubtedly8 the body of Mr. Druce, and not a lump of lead, as (I think) was alleged9 by the Claimant. But in the course of litigation one extraordinary witness was called in support of the Claimant’s case. She was a very old lady, over eighty, to the best of my recollection, and she had been brought all the way from New Zealand to tell the most outrageous10 cock-and-bull story that was ever heard in an English law court. She knew all about the secret of the Duke of Portland, who had the odd humour, according to the fable11, of pretending at intervals12 to be an upholsterer in Baker Street; she knew, because in her youth she had been “outside correspondent” to him, Charles Dickens, and Lord Lytton. She did not explain what an “outside correspondent” was; she placidly13 babbled14 her imbecilities in the witness-box, and was finally prosecuted15 for perjury16, convicted and let off very lightly.
But it is her phrase that interests me. I am convinced that it was a great attraction to the people who were persuaded to back this crazy imposture17, just because it was idiotic18, which, after all, is not surprising, since the persons concerned who parted with their money in such a cause were undoubtedly idiots, and so it was, I think, with the amazing case of Benson and the Turf Frauds, an old tale of the ‘seventies.
Benson was a man of Jewish race. He was only twenty-six, but he had been in grave trouble before. He was perfectly19 well-mannered, well-educated, well-dressed, and had contrived20, one gathers, by gig-keeping on a magnificent scale, to associate with the very best people in the Isle21 of Wight. He drove a splendidly equipped carriage and pair; therefore, he was a good man. He had collected about him a remarkable22 gang of assistants; and in the year 1876 Benson and his friends laid a remarkable trap, and baited it in the oddest manner. This bait was taken, and taken eagerly, by one Madame de Goncourt, a wealthy French widow. Benson, no doubt, had marked her down; it is the business of men who follow his difficult and dangerous craft to know everything — everything that may at all concern them. At all events, Madame de Goncourt received an odd number of an English paper called Sport. Of course, there was no such paper. But Madame. de Goncourt, reading this journal which had fallen on her from the clouds, learned from it that it was the property of an immensely wealthy Englishman, a Mr. Montgomery. This Mr. Montgomery had mysterious and masterly access to turf and stable secrets that had enabled him to win, not thousands, but millions of pounds on the race-course. Not unnaturally23, the bookmakers were enraged24 at the disastrous25 science of Mr. Montgomery. They refused to take his bets. Sport was enraged. It pointed26 out a way. Though Mr. Montgomery could not make bets in his own name, he could pay a slight commission to foreign agents, who would back horses for him in their own names. All this impressed Madame de Goncourt immensely, and she was impressed still more by the receipt of a letter from the great Mr. Montgomery. This gentleman — alias27 Benson — wrote as follows:
“Your name has been favourably28 mentioned to me by the Franco–English Society of Publicity29, and I consequently repose30 in you the most esteemed31 confidence. What I require of you is very simple indeed. I will send you for each race the amount which I desire to put on the horse which must, in my opinion, win. You will have to forward the money in your name, but on my account, to the bookmaker, and thus will be able to get the real odds32, which, on account of my success and great knowledge, are denied me. The bookmaker will, on settling day, send you the amount, added to the stake originally forwarded to him. This you will please remit33 to me, and, on its receipt, I will forthwith forward to you a commission of five per cent.”
Madame de Goncourt had more money than she knew what to do with; naturally, therefore, she wanted to make more. She became Mr. Montgomery’s agent, and received cheques of “The Royal Bank of London, Charing34 Cross.” There was no such bank, to be sure; but, then, there was no Franco–English Society of Publicity. Sham35 cheques came raining on Madame de Goncourt, and she forwarded them to various agents of Benson, who were supposed to be English bookmakers. Then Mr. Montgomery sent her a Bank of London cheque for ￡1000, which was to be put on a certain horse and sent to a bookmaker named Francis, who, said Mr. Montgomery, was a “sworn-bookmaker.” And he advised the lady, very strongly, to invest a like sum on her own account. She did so, and in a few days she had sent ￡10,000 to various sworn-bookmakers.
Then, of course, the inevitable36 mistake. The gang did not know when to leave the board. They put it to Madame de Goncourt that a vast fortune was to be made if she could venture ￡30,000 with a sworn-bookmaker named Ellerton; and Mr. Montgomery said that if the lady could not command the whole sum he would gladly advance the difference himself. She was only too ready to find the whole sum required; but before this could be done she had to have a talk with her banker — and then all was spoilt. Madame de Goncour came over to England, and characteristically enough, applied37 to the Lord Mayor, telling him, no doubt, that she had suffered wrong. Her confidence in the French Legend of the Lord Mayor of London was justified38; Benson and his rascals39 were caught, and the lady recovered almost the whole of her money. I do not think I am in the least glad to record this fact. On the whole, I think Benson and his pirates deserved the money quite as well as Madame de Goncourt, if not better. Poor men, men of large families and small means, may be readily excused if they are over-ready to accept idle tales of immense gains: but the rich should not be covetous40. But this is not a moral tale. Its point lies in the highly successful use of absurd jargon41, of the “outside correspondent” order. Mark the “Franco–English Society of Publicity,” non-existent, of course but interesting as containing an early example of the ugly word, “publicity.” Note “The Royal Bank of London”; note, above all, the “sworn-bookmaker,” a great creation. There is no surer bait than pompous42 and unmeaning gibberish of this sort. You remember “The Anglo–Bengalee Disinterested43 Loan and Life Assurance Company.” In England we require the moral touch implied in “Disinterested.” Benson was baiting his hook for Continental44 victims, and so did not appeal to the ethical45 issue. It is well known that they are not really moral on the Continent. I shall call my swindle “The All–British Orphans’ Benevolent47 Protection and Reconstruction48 Company, Ltd.” Reconstruction is one of the most blessed of these blessed words; and what good man could resist the temptation of benevolently49 protecting and reconstructing an All–British Orphan46 — especially if he were promised interest on his money at the rate of twenty-five per cent?
The End
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baker
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| n.面包师 | |
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cemetery
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| n.坟墓，墓地，坟场 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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subscribe
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| vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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vault
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| n.拱形圆顶，地窖，地下室 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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alleged
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| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
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outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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fable
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| n.寓言；童话；神话 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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babbled
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| v.喋喋不休( babble的过去式和过去分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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prosecuted
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| a.被起诉的 | |
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perjury
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| n.伪证；伪证罪 | |
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imposture
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| n.冒名顶替，欺骗 | |
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idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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isle
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| n.小岛，岛 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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unnaturally
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| adv.违反习俗地；不自然地；勉强地；不近人情地 | |
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enraged
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| 使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤 | |
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disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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alias
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| n.化名；别名；adv.又名 | |
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favourably
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| adv. 善意地，赞成地 =favorably | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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odds
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| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
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remit
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| v.汇款，汇寄；豁免（债务），免除（处罚等） | |
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charing
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| n.炭化v.把…烧成炭，把…烧焦( char的现在分词 )；烧成炭，烧焦；做杂役女佣 | |
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sham
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| n./adj.假冒(的)，虚伪(的) | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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rascals
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| 流氓( rascal的名词复数 )； 无赖； （开玩笑说法）淘气的人（尤指小孩）； 恶作剧的人 | |
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covetous
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| adj.贪婪的，贪心的 | |
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jargon
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| n.术语，行话 | |
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pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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continental
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| adj.大陆的，大陆性的，欧洲大陆的 | |
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45
ethical
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| adj.伦理的，道德的，合乎道德的 | |
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46
orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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47
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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48
reconstruction
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| n.重建，再现，复原 | |
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49
benevolently
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| adv.仁慈地，行善地 | |
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