The world uncertain comes and goes,
The lover rooted stays.
I fancied he was fled,
And, after many a year,
Glowed unexhausted kindliness3
Like daily sunrise there.
My careful heart was free again, —
Through thee alone the sky is arched,
Through thee the rose is red,
All things through thee take nobler form,
And look beyond the earth,
And is the mill-round of our fate
A sun-path in thy worth.
Me too thy nobleness has taught
To master my despair;
The fountains of my hidden life
Are through thy friendship fair.
ESSAY VI Friendship
We have a great deal more kindness than is ever spoken. Maugre all the selfishness that chills like east winds the world, the whole human family is bathed with an element of love like a fine ether. How many persons we meet in houses, whom we scarcely speak to, whom yet we honor, and who honor us! How many we see in the street, or sit with in church, whom, though silently, we warmly rejoice to be with! Read the language of these wandering eye-beams. The heart knoweth.
The effect of the indulgence of this human affection is a certain cordial exhilaration. In poetry, and in common speech, the emotions of benevolence6 and complacency which are felt towards others are likened to the material effects of fire; so swift, or much more swift, more active, more cheering, are these fine inward irradiations. From the highest degree of passionate7 love, to the lowest degree of good-will, they make the sweetness of life.
Our intellectual and active powers increase with our affection. The scholar sits down to write, and all his years of meditation8 do not furnish him with one good thought or happy expression; but it is necessary to write a letter to a friend, — and, forthwith, troops of gentle thoughts invest themselves, on every hand, with chosen words. See, in any house where virtue10 and self-respect abide11, the palpitation which the approach of a stranger causes. A commended stranger is expected and announced, and an uneasiness betwixt pleasure and pain invades all the hearts of a household. His arrival almost brings fear to the good hearts that would welcome him. The house is dusted, all things fly into their places, the old coat is exchanged for the new, and they must get up a dinner if they can. Of a commended stranger, only the good report is told by others, only the good and new is heard by us. He stands to us for humanity. He is what we wish. Having imagined and invested him, we ask how we should stand related in conversation and action with such a man, and are uneasy with fear. The same idea exalts13 conversation with him. We talk better than we are wont14. We have the nimblest fancy, a richer memory, and our dumb devil has taken leave for the time. For long hours we can continue a series of sincere, graceful15, rich communications, drawn16 from the oldest, secretest experience, so that they who sit by, of our own kinsfolk and acquaintance, shall feel a lively surprise at our unusual powers. But as soon as the stranger begins to intrude17 his partialities, his definitions, his defects, into the conversation, it is all over. He has heard the first, the last and best he will ever hear from us. He is no stranger now. Vulgarity, ignorance, misapprehension are old acquaintances. Now, when he comes, he may get the order, the dress, and the dinner, — but the throbbing19 of the heart, and the communications of the soul, no more.
What is so pleasant as these jets of affection which make a young world for me again? What so delicious as a just and firm encounter of two, in a thought, in a feeling? How beautiful, on their approach to this beating heart, the steps and forms of the gifted and the true! The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed; there is no winter, and no night; all tragedies, all ennuis, vanish, — all duties even; nothing fills the proceeding20 eternity21 but the forms all radiant of beloved persons. Let the soul be assured that somewhere in the universe it should rejoin its friend, and it would be content and cheerful alone for a thousand years.
I awoke this morning with devout22 thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new. Shall I not call God the Beautiful, who daily showeth himself so to me in his gifts? I chide23 society, I embrace solitude24, and yet I am not so ungrateful as not to see the wise, the lovely, and the noble-minded, as from time to time they pass my gate. Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine, — a possession for all time. Nor is nature so poor but she gives me this joy several times, and thus we weave social threads of our own, a new web of relations; and, as many thoughts in succession substantiate25 themselves, we shall by and by stand in a new world of our own creation, and no longer strangers and pilgrims in a traditionary globe. My friends have come to me unsought. The great God gave them to me. By oldest right, by the divine affinity26 of virtue with itself, I find them, or rather not I, but the Deity27 in me and in them derides28 and cancels the thick walls of individual character, relation, age, sex, circumstance, at which he usually connives29, and now makes many one. High thanks I owe you, excellent lovers, who carry out the world for me to new and noble depths, and enlarge the meaning of all my thoughts. These are new poetry of the first Bard30, — poetry without stop, — hymn31, ode, and epic32, poetry still flowing, Apollo and the Muses33 chanting still. Will these, too, separate themselves from me again, or some of them? I know not, but I fear it not; for my relation to them is so pure, that we hold by simple affinity, and the Genius of my life being thus social, the same affinity will exert its energy on whomsoever is as noble as these men and women, wherever I may be.
I confess to an extreme tenderness of nature on this point. It is almost dangerous to me to “crush the sweet poison of misused34 wine” of the affections. A new person is to me a great event, and hinders me from sleep. I have often had fine fancies about persons which have given me delicious hours; but the joy ends in the day; it yields no fruit. Thought is not born of it; my action is very little modified. I must feel pride in my friend’s accomplishments35 as if they were mine, — and a property in his virtues36. I feel as warmly when he is praised, as the lover when he hears applause of his engaged maiden37. We over-estimate the conscience of our friend. His goodness seems better than our goodness, his nature finer, his temptations less. Every thing that is his, — his name, his form, his dress, books, and instruments, — fancy enhances. Our own thought sounds new and larger from his mouth.
Yet the systole and diastole of the heart are not without their analogy in the ebb38 and flow of love. Friendship, like the immortality39 of the soul, is too good to be believed. The lover, beholding41 his maiden, half knows that she is not verily that which he worships; and in the golden hour of friendship, we are surprised with shades of suspicion and unbelief. We doubt that we bestow42 on our hero the virtues in which he shines, and afterwards worship the form to which we have ascribed this divine inhabitation. In strictness, the soul does not respect men as it respects itself. In strict science all persons underlie43 the same condition of an infinite remoteness. Shall we fear to cool our love by mining for the metaphysical foundation of this Elysian temple? Shall I not be as real as the things I see? If I am, I shall not fear to know them for what they are. Their essence is not less beautiful than their appearance, though it needs finer organs for its apprehension18. The root of the plant is not unsightly to science, though for chaplets and festoons we cut the stem short. And I must hazard the production of the bald fact amidst these pleasing reveries, though it should prove an Egyptian skull44 at our banquet. A man who stands united with his thought conceives magnificently of himself. He is conscious of a universal success, even though bought by uniform particular failures. No advantages, no powers, no gold or force, can be any match for him. I cannot choose but rely on my own poverty more than on your wealth. I cannot make your consciousness tantamount to mine. Only the star dazzles; the planet has a faint, moon-like ray. I hear what you say of the admirable parts and tried temper of the party you praise, but I see well that for all his purple cloaks I shall not like him, unless he is at last a poor Greek like me. I cannot deny it, O friend, that the vast shadow of the Phenomenal includes thee also in its pied and painted immensity, — thee, also, compared with whom all else is shadow. Thou art not Being, as Truth is, as Justice is, — thou art not my soul, but a picture and effigy45 of that. Thou hast come to me lately, and already thou art seizing thy hat and cloak. Is it not that the soul puts forth9 friends as the tree puts forth leaves, and presently, by the germination46 of new buds, extrudes47 the old leaf? The law of nature is alternation for evermore. Each electrical state superinduces the opposite. The soul environs itself with friends, that it may enter into a grander self-acquaintance or solitude; and it goes alone for a season, that it may exalt12 its conversation or society. This method betrays itself along the whole history of our personal relations. The instinct of affection revives the hope of union with our mates, and the returning sense of insulation48 recalls us from the chase. Thus every man passes his life in the search after friendship, and if he should record his true sentiment, he might write a letter like this to each new candidate for his love.
DEAR FRIEND: —
If I was sure of thee, sure of thy capacity, sure to match my mood with thine, I should never think again of trifles in relation to thy comings and goings. I am not very wise; my moods are quite attainable49; and I respect thy genius; it is to me as yet unfathomed; yet dare I not presume in thee a perfect intelligence of me, and so thou art to me a delicious torment50. Thine ever, or never.
Yet these uneasy pleasures and fine pains are for curiosity, and not for life. They are not to be indulged. This is to weave cobweb, and not cloth. Our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture51 of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre of the human heart. The laws of friendship are austere52 and eternal, of one web with the laws of nature and of morals. But we have aimed at a swift and petty benefit, to suck a sudden sweetness. We snatch at the slowest fruit in the whole garden of God, which many summers and many winters must ripen53. We seek our friend not sacredly, but with an adulterate passion which would appropriate him to ourselves. In vain. We are armed all over with subtle antagonisms55, which, as soon as we meet, begin to play, and translate all poetry into stale prose. Almost all people descend56 to meet. All association must be a compromise, and, what is worst, the very flower and aroma57 of the flower of each of the beautiful natures disappears as they approach each other. What a perpetual disappointment is actual society, even of the virtuous58 and gifted! After interviews have been compassed with long foresight59, we must be tormented60 presently by baffled blows, by sudden, unseasonable apathies, by epilepsies of wit and of animal spirits, in the heyday61 of friendship and thought. Our faculties62 do not play us true, and both parties are relieved by solitude.
I ought to be equal to every relation. It makes no difference how many friends I have, and what content I can find in conversing63 with each, if there be one to whom I am not equal. If I have shrunk unequal from one contest, the joy I find in all the rest becomes mean and cowardly. I should hate myself, if then I made my other friends my asylum64.
“The valiant65 warrior66 famoused for fight,
After a hundred victories, once foiled,
Is from the book of honor razed67 quite,
And all the rest forgot for which he toiled68.”
Our impatience69 is thus sharply rebuked70. Bashfulness and apathy71 are a tough husk, in which a delicate organization is protected from premature72 ripening73. It would be lost if it knew itself before any of the best souls were yet ripe enough to know and own it. Respect the naturlangsamkeit which hardens the ruby74 in a million years, and works in duration, in which Alps and Andes come and go as rainbows. The good spirit of our life has no heaven which is the price of rashness. Love, which is the essence of God, is not for levity75, but for the total worth of man. Let us not have this childish luxury in our regards, but the austerest worth; let us approach our friend with an audacious trust in the truth of his heart, in the breadth, impossible to be overturned, of his foundations.
The attractions of this subject are not to be resisted, and I leave, for the time, all account of subordinate social benefit, to speak of that select and sacred relation which is a kind of absolute, and which even leaves the language of love suspicious and common, so much is this purer, and nothing is so much divine.
I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frostwork, but the solidest thing we know. For now, after so many ages of experience, what do we know of nature, or of ourselves? Not one step has man taken toward the solution of the problem of his destiny. In one condemnation76 of folly77 stand the whole universe of men. But the sweet sincerity78 of joy and peace, which I draw from this alliance with my brother’s soul, is the nut itself, whereof all nature and all thought is but the husk and shell. Happy is the house that shelters a friend! It might well be built, like a festal bower79 or arch, to entertain him a single day. Happier, if he know the solemnity of that relation, and honor its law! He who offers himself a candidate for that covenant80 comes up, like an Olympian, to the great games, where the first-born of the world are the competitors. He proposes himself for contests where Time, Want, Danger, are in the lists, and he alone is victor who has truth enough in his constitution to preserve the delicacy81 of his beauty from the wear and tear of all these. The gifts of fortune may be present or absent, but all the speed in that contest depends on intrinsic nobleness, and the contempt of trifles. There are two elements that go to the composition of friendship, each so sovereign that I can detect no superiority in either, no reason why either should be first named. One is Truth. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation82, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity83 and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems84 and authority, only to the highest rank, that being permitted to speak truth, as having none above it to court or conform unto. Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy85 begins. We parry and fend86 the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds. I knew a man, who, under a certain religious frenzy87, cast off this drapery, and, omitting all compliment and commonplace, spoke5 to the conscience of every person he encountered, and that with great insight and beauty. At first he was resisted, and all men agreed he was mad. But persisting, as indeed he could not help doing, for some time in this course, he attained88 to the advantage of bringing every man of his acquaintance into true relations with him. No man would think of speaking falsely with him, or of putting him off with any chat of markets or reading-rooms. But every man was constrained89 by so much sincerity to the like plaindealing, and what love of nature, what poetry, what symbol of truth he had, he did certainly show him. But to most of us society shows not its face and eye, but its side and its back. To stand in true relations with men in a false age is worth a fit of insanity90, is it not? We can seldom go erect91. Almost every man we meet requires some civility, — requires to be humored; he has some fame, some talent, some whim92 of religion or philanthropy in his head that is not to be questioned, and which spoils all conversation with him. But a friend is a sane93 man who exercises not my ingenuity94, but me. My friend gives me entertainment without requiring any stipulation95 on my part. A friend, therefore, is a sort of paradox96 in nature. I who alone am, I who see nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm with equal evidence to my own, behold40 now the semblance97 of my being, in all its height, variety, and curiosity, reiterated98 in a foreign form; so that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
The other element of friendship is tenderness. We are holden to men by every sort of tie, by blood, by pride, by fear, by hope, by lucre99, by lust100, by hate, by admiration101, by every circumstance and badge and trifle, but we can scarce believe that so much character can subsist102 in another as to draw us by love. Can another be so blessed, and we so pure, that we can offer him tenderness? When a man becomes dear to me, I have touched the goal of fortune. I find very little written directly to the heart of this matter in books. And yet I have one text which I cannot choose but remember. My author says, — “I offer myself faintly and bluntly to those whose I effectually am, and tender myself least to him to whom I am the most devoted103.” I wish that friendship should have feet, as well as eyes and eloquence104. It must plant itself on the ground, before it vaults105 over the moon. I wish it to be a little of a citizen, before it is quite a cherub106. We chide the citizen because he makes love a commodity. It is an exchange of gifts, of useful loans; it is good neighbourhood; it watches with the sick; it holds the pall107 at the funeral; and quite loses sight of the delicacies108 and nobility of the relation. But though we cannot find the god under this disguise of a sutler, yet, on the other hand, we cannot forgive the poet if he spins his thread too fine, and does not substantiate his romance by the municipal virtues of justice, punctuality, fidelity109, and pity. I hate the prostitution of the name of friendship to signify modish110 and worldly alliances. I much prefer the company of ploughboys and tin-peddlers, to the silken and perfumed amity111 which celebrates its days of encounter by a frivolous112 display, by rides in a curricle, and dinners at the best taverns113. The end of friendship is a commerce the most strict and homely114 that can be joined; more strict than any of which we have experience. It is for aid and comfort through all the relations and passages of life and death. It is fit for serene115 days, and graceful gifts, and country rambles116, but also for rough roads and hard fare, shipwreck117, poverty, and persecution118. It keeps company with the sallies of the wit and the trances of religion. We are to dignify119 to each other the daily needs and offices of man’s life, and embellish120 it by courage, wisdom, and unity121. It should never fall into something usual and settled, but should be alert and inventive, and add rhyme and reason to what was drudgery122.
Friendship may be said to require natures so rare and costly123, each so well tempered and so happily adapted, and withal so circumstanced, (for even in that particular, a poet says, love demands that the parties be altogether paired,) that its satisfaction can very seldom be assured. It cannot subsist in its perfection, say some of those who are learned in this warm lore124 of the heart, betwixt more than two. I am not quite so strict in my terms, perhaps because I have never known so high a fellowship as others. I please my imagination more with a circle of godlike men and women variously related to each other, and between whom subsists125 a lofty intelligence. But I find this law of one to one peremptory126 for conversation, which is the practice and consummation of friendship. Do not mix waters too much. The best mix as ill as good and bad. You shall have very useful and cheering discourse127 at several times with two several men, but let all three of you come together, and you shall not have one new and hearty128 word. Two may talk and one may hear, but three cannot take part in a conversation of the most sincere and searching sort. In good company there is never such discourse between two, across the table, as takes place when you leave them alone. In good company, the individuals merge129 their egotism into a social soul exactly co-extensive with the several consciousnesses there present. No partialities of friend to friend, no fondnesses of brother to sister, of wife to husband, are there pertinent130, but quite otherwise. Only he may then speak who can sail on the common thought of the party, and not poorly limited to his own. Now this convention, which good sense demands, destroys the high freedom of great conversation, which requires an absolute running of two souls into one.
No two men but, being left alone with each other, enter into simpler relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which two shall converse131. Unrelated men give little joy to each other; will never suspect the latent powers of each. We talk sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as if it were a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is an evanescent relation, — no more. A man is reputed to have thought and eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word to his cousin or his uncle. They accuse his silence with as much reason as they would blame the insignificance132 of a dial in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour. Among those who enjoy his thought, he will regain133 his tongue.
Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness134 and unlikeness, that piques135 each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party. Let me be alone to the end of the world, rather than that my friend should overstep, by a word or a look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked137 by antagonism54 and by compliance138. Let him not cease an instant to be himself. The only joy I have in his being mine, is that the not mine is mine. I hate, where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush of concession139. Better be a nettle140 in the side of your friend than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands is ability to do without it. That high office requires great and sublime141 parts. There must be very two, before there can be very one. Let it be an alliance of two large, formidable natures, mutually beheld143, mutually feared, before yet they recognize the deep identity which beneath these disparities unites them.
He only is fit for this society who is magnanimous; who is sure that greatness and goodness are always economy; who is not swift to intermeddle with his fortunes. Let him not intermeddle with this. Leave to the diamond its ages to grow, nor expect to accelerate the births of the eternal. Friendship demands a religious treatment. We talk of choosing our friends, but friends are self-elected. Reverence144 is a great part of it. Treat your friend as a spectacle. Of course he has merits that are not yours, and that you cannot honor, if you must needs hold him close to your person. Stand aside; give those merits room; let them mount and expand. Are you the friend of your friend’s buttons, or of his thought? To a great heart he will still be a stranger in a thousand particulars, that he may come near in the holiest ground. Leave it to girls and boys to regard a friend as property, and to suck a short and all-confounding pleasure, instead of the noblest benefit.
Let us buy our entrance to this guild145 by a long probation146. Why should we desecrate147 noble and beautiful souls by intruding148 on them? Why insist on rash personal relations with your friend? Why go to his house, or know his mother and brother and sisters? Why be visited by him at your own? Are these things material to our covenant? Leave this touching149 and clawing. Let him be to me a spirit. A message, a thought, a sincerity, a glance from him, I want, but not news, nor pottage. I can get politics, and chat, and neighbourly conveniences from cheaper companions. Should not the society of my friend be to me poetic150, pure, universal, and great as nature itself? Ought I to feel that our tie is profane151 in comparison with yonder bar of cloud that sleeps on the horizon, or that clump152 of waving grass that divides the brook153? Let us not vilify154, but raise it to that standard. That great, defying eye, that scornful beauty of his mien155 and action, do not pique136 yourself on reducing, but rather fortify156 and enhance. Worship his superiorities; wish him not less by a thought, but hoard157 and tell them all. Guard him as thy counterpart. Let him be to thee for ever a sort of beautiful enemy, untamable, devoutly158 revered159, and not a trivial conveniency to be soon outgrown160 and cast aside. The hues161 of the opal, the light of the diamond, are not to be seen, if the eye is too near. To my friend I write a letter, and from him I receive a letter. That seems to you a little. It suffices me. It is a spiritual gift worthy162 of him to give, and of me to receive. It profanes163 nobody. In these warm lines the heart will trust itself, as it will not to the tongue, and pour out the prophecy of a godlier existence than all the annals of heroism164 have yet made good.
Respect so far the holy laws of this fellowship as not to prejudice its perfect flower by your impatience for its opening. We must be our own before we can be another’s. There is at least this satisfaction in crime, according to the Latin proverb; — you can speak to your accomplice165 on even terms. Crimen quos inquinat, aequat. To those whom we admire and love, at first we cannot. Yet the least defect of self-possession vitiates, in my judgment166, the entire relation. There can never be deep peace between two spirits, never mutual142 respect, until, in their dialogue, each stands for the whole world.
What is so great as friendship, let us carry with what grandeur167 of spirit we can. Let us be silent, — so we may hear the whisper of the gods. Let us not interfere168. Who set you to cast about what you should say to the select souls, or how to say any thing to such? No matter how ingenious, no matter how graceful and bland169. There are innumerable degrees of folly and wisdom, and for you to say aught is to be frivolous. Wait, and thy heart shall speak. Wait until the necessary and everlasting170 overpowers you, until day and night avail themselves of your lips. The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one. You shall not come nearer a man by getting into his house. If unlike, his soul only flees the faster from you, and you shall never catch a true glance of his eye. We see the noble afar off, and they repel171 us; why should we intrude? Late, — very late, — we perceive that no arrangements, no introductions, no consuetudes or habits of society, would be of any avail to establish us in such relations with them as we desire, — but solely172 the uprise of nature in us to the same degree it is in them; then shall we meet as water with water; and if we should not meet them then, we shall not want them, for we are already they. In the last analysis, love is only the reflection of a man’s own worthiness173 from other men. Men have sometimes exchanged names with their friends, as if they would signify that in their friend each loved his own soul.
The higher the style we demand of friendship, of course the less easy to establish it with flesh and blood. We walk alone in the world. Friends, such as we desire, are dreams and fables174. But a sublime hope cheers ever the faithful heart, that elsewhere, in other regions of the universal power, souls are now acting175, enduring, and daring, which can love us, and which we can love. We may congratulate ourselves that the period of nonage, of follies176, of blunders, and of shame, is passed in solitude, and when we are finished men, we shall grasp heroic hands in heroic hands. Only be admonished177 by what you already see, not to strike leagues of friendship with cheap persons, where no friendship can be. Our impatience betrays us into rash and foolish alliances which no God attends. By persisting in your path, though you forfeit178 the little you gain the great. You demonstrate yourself, so as to put yourself out of the reach of false relations, and you draw to you the first-born of the world, — those rare pilgrims whereof only one or two wander in nature at once, and before whom the vulgar great show as spectres and shadows merely.
It is foolish to be afraid of making our ties too spiritual, as if so we could lose any genuine love. Whatever correction of our popular views we make from insight, nature will be sure to bear us out in, and though it seem to rob us of some joy, will repay us with a greater. Let us feel, if we will, the absolute insulation of man. We are sure that we have all in us. We go to Europe, or we pursue persons, or we read books, in the instinctive179 faith that these will call it out and reveal us to ourselves. Beggars all. The persons are such as we; the Europe an old faded garment of dead persons; the books their ghosts. Let us drop this idolatry. Let us give over this mendicancy180. Let us even bid our dearest friends farewell, and defy them, saying, ‘Who are you? Unhand me: I will be dependent no more.’ Ah! seest thou not, O brother, that thus we part only to meet again on a higher platform, and only be more each other’s, because we are more our own? A friend is Janus-faced: he looks to the past and the future. He is the child of all my foregoing hours, the prophet of those to come, and the harbinger of a greater friend.
I do then with my friends as I do with my books. I would have them where I can find them, but I seldom use them. We must have society on our own terms, and admit or exclude it on the slightest cause. I cannot afford to speak much with my friend. If he is great, he makes me so great that I cannot descend to converse. In the great days, presentiments181 hover182 before me in the firmament183. I ought then to dedicate myself to them. I go in that I may seize them, I go out that I may seize them. I fear only that I may lose them receding184 into the sky in which now they are only a patch of brighter light. Then, though I prize my friends, I cannot afford to talk with them and study their visions, lest I lose my own. It would indeed give me a certain household joy to quit this lofty seeking, this spiritual astronomy, or search of stars, and come down to warm sympathies with you; but then I know well I shall mourn always the vanishing of my mighty185 gods. It is true, next week I shall have languid moods, when I can well afford to occupy myself with foreign objects; then I shall regret the lost literature of your mind, and wish you were by my side again. But if you come, perhaps you will fill my mind only with new visions, not with yourself but with your lustres, and I shall not be able any more than now to converse with you. So I will owe to my friends this evanescent intercourse186. I will receive from them, not what they have, but what they are. They shall give me that which properly they cannot give, but which emanates187 from them. But they shall not hold me by any relations less subtile and pure. We will meet as though we met not, and part as though we parted not.
It has seemed to me lately more possible than I knew, to carry a friendship greatly, on one side, without due correspondence on the other. Why should I cumber188 myself with regrets that the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting planet. Let your greatness educate the crude and cold companion. If he is unequal, he will presently pass away; but thou art enlarged by thy own shining, and, no longer a mate for frogs and worms, dost soar and burn with the gods of the empyrean. It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love transcends189 the unworthy object, and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed mask crumbles190, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth, and feels its independency the surer. Yet these things may hardly be said without a sort of treachery to the relation. The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not surmise191 or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it may deify both.
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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outweighs
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| v.在重量上超过( outweigh的第三人称单数 )；在重要性或价值方面超过 | |
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kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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6
benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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7
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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8
meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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9
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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10
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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11
abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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12
exalt
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| v.赞扬，歌颂，晋升，提升 | |
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13
exalts
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| 赞扬( exalt的第三人称单数 )； 歌颂； 提升； 提拔 | |
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14
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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15
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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16
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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17
intrude
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| vi.闯入；侵入；打扰，侵扰 | |
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18
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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19
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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20
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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21
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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22
devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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23
chide
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| v.叱责；谴责 | |
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24
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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25
substantiate
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| v.证实；证明...有根据 | |
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26
affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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27
deity
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| n.神，神性；被奉若神明的人(或物) | |
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28
derides
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| v.取笑，嘲笑( deride的第三人称单数 ) | |
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29
connives
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| v.密谋 ( connive的第三人称单数 )；搞阴谋；默许；纵容 | |
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30
bard
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| n.吟游诗人 | |
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31
hymn
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌 | |
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32
epic
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| n.史诗，叙事诗；adj.史诗般的，壮丽的 | |
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33
muses
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的第三人称单数 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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34
misused
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| v.使用…不当( misuse的过去式和过去分词 )；把…派作不正当的用途；虐待；滥用 | |
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35
accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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36
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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37
maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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38
ebb
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| vi.衰退，减退；n.处于低潮，处于衰退状态 | |
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39
immortality
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| n.不死，不朽 | |
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40
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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41
beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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42
bestow
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| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
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43
underlie
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| v.位于...之下，成为...的基础 | |
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44
skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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45
effigy
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| n.肖像 | |
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46
germination
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| n.萌芽，发生；萌发；生芽；催芽 | |
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47
extrudes
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| v.挤压出( extrude的第三人称单数 )；挤压成；突出；伸出 | |
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48
insulation
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| n.隔离；绝缘；隔热 | |
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49
attainable
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| a.可达到的，可获得的 | |
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50
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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51
texture
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| n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理 | |
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52
austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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53
ripen
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| vt.使成熟；vi.成熟 | |
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54
antagonism
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| n.对抗，敌对，对立 | |
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55
antagonisms
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| 对抗，敌对( antagonism的名词复数 ) | |
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56
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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57
aroma
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| n.香气，芬芳，芳香 | |
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58
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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59
foresight
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| n.先见之明，深谋远虑 | |
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60
tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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61
heyday
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| n.全盛时期，青春期 | |
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62
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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63
conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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64
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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65
valiant
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| adj.勇敢的，英勇的；n.勇士，勇敢的人 | |
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66
warrior
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| n.勇士，武士，斗士 | |
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67
razed
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| v.彻底摧毁，将…夷为平地( raze的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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68
toiled
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| 长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉 | |
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69
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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70
rebuked
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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71
apathy
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| n.漠不关心，无动于衷；冷淡 | |
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72
premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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73
ripening
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的现在分词 )；熟化；熟成 | |
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74
ruby
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| n.红宝石，红宝石色 | |
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75
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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76
condemnation
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| n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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77
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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78
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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79
bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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80
covenant
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| n.盟约，契约；v.订盟约 | |
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81
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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82
dissimulation
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| n.掩饰，虚伪，装糊涂 | |
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83
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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84
diadems
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| n.王冠，王权，带状头饰( diadem的名词复数 ) | |
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85
hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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86
fend
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| v.照料（自己），（自己）谋生，挡开，避开 | |
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87
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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88
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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89
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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90
insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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91
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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92
whim
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| n.一时的兴致，突然的念头；奇想，幻想 | |
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93
sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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94
ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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95
stipulation
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| n.契约，规定，条文；条款说明 | |
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96
paradox
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| n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法；自相矛盾的人(物) | |
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97
semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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98
reiterated
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| 反复地说，重申( reiterate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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99
lucre
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| n.金钱，财富 | |
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100
lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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101
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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102
subsist
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| vi.生存，存在，供养 | |
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103
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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104
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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105
vaults
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| n.拱顶( vault的名词复数 )；地下室；撑物跳高；墓穴 | |
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106
cherub
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| n.小天使，胖娃娃 | |
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107
pall
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| v.覆盖，使平淡无味；n.柩衣，棺罩；棺材；帷幕 | |
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108
delicacies
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| n.棘手( delicacy的名词复数 )；精致；精美的食物；周到 | |
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109
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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110
modish
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| adj.流行的，时髦的 | |
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111
amity
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| n.友好关系 | |
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112
frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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113
taverns
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| n.小旅馆，客栈，酒馆( tavern的名词复数 ) | |
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114
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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115
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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116
rambles
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| （无目的地）漫游( ramble的第三人称单数 )； （喻）漫谈； 扯淡； 长篇大论 | |
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117
shipwreck
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| n.船舶失事，海难 | |
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118
persecution
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| n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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119
dignify
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| vt.使有尊严；使崇高；给增光 | |
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120
embellish
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| v.装饰，布置；给…添加细节，润饰 | |
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121
unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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122
drudgery
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| n.苦工，重活，单调乏味的工作 | |
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123
costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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124
lore
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| n.传说；学问，经验，知识 | |
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125
subsists
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| v.（靠很少的钱或食物）维持生活，生存下去( subsist的第三人称单数 ) | |
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126
peremptory
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| adj.紧急的，专横的，断然的 | |
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127
discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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128
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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129
merge
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| v.(使)结合，(使)合并，(使)合为一体 | |
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130
pertinent
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| adj.恰当的；贴切的；中肯的；有关的；相干的 | |
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131
converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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132
insignificance
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| n.不重要；无价值；无意义 | |
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133
regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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134
likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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135
piques
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的第三人称单数 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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136
pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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137
balked
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| v.畏缩不前，犹豫( balk的过去式和过去分词 )；（指马）不肯跑 | |
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138
compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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139
concession
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| n.让步，妥协；特许(权) | |
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140
nettle
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| n.荨麻；v.烦忧，激恼 | |
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141
sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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142
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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143
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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144
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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145
guild
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| n.行会，同业公会，协会 | |
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146
probation
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| n.缓刑(期)，(以观后效的)察看；试用(期) | |
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147
desecrate
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| v.供俗用，亵渎，污辱 | |
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148
intruding
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| v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的现在分词)；把…强加于 | |
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149
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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150
poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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151
profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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152
clump
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| n.树丛，草丛；vi.用沉重的脚步行走 | |
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153
brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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154
vilify
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| v.诽谤，中伤 | |
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155
mien
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| n.风采；态度 | |
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156
fortify
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| v.强化防御，为…设防；加强，强化 | |
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157
hoard
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| n./v.窖藏，贮存，囤积 | |
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158
devoutly
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| adv.虔诚地，虔敬地，衷心地 | |
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159
revered
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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160
outgrown
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| 长[发展] 得超过（某物）的范围( outgrow的过去分词 )； 长[发展]得不能再要（某物）； 长得比…快； 生长速度超过 | |
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161
hues
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| 色彩( hue的名词复数 )； 色调； 信仰； 观点 | |
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162
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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163
profanes
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| n.不敬（神）的( profane的名词复数 )；渎神的；亵渎的；世俗的v.不敬( profane的第三人称单数 )；亵渎，玷污 | |
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164
heroism
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| n.大无畏精神，英勇 | |
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165
accomplice
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| n.从犯，帮凶，同谋 | |
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166
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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167
grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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168
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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169
bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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170
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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171
repel
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| v.击退，抵制，拒绝，排斥 | |
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172
solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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173
worthiness
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| 价值，值得 | |
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174
fables
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| n.寓言( fable的名词复数 )；神话，传说 | |
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175
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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176
follies
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| 罪恶，时事讽刺剧； 愚蠢，蠢笨，愚蠢的行为、思想或做法( folly的名词复数 ) | |
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177
admonished
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| v.劝告( admonish的过去式和过去分词 )；训诫；（温和地）责备；轻责 | |
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178
forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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179
instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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180
mendicancy
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| n.乞丐，托钵，行乞修道士 | |
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181
presentiments
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| n.（对不祥事物的）预感( presentiment的名词复数 ) | |
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182
hover
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| vi.翱翔，盘旋；徘徊；彷徨，犹豫 | |
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183
firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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184
receding
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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185
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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186
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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187
emanates
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的第三人称单数 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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188
cumber
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| v.拖累，妨碍；n.妨害；拖累 | |
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189
transcends
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| 超出或超越（经验、信念、描写能力等）的范围( transcend的第三人称单数 )； 优于或胜过… | |
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190
crumbles
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| 酥皮水果甜点( crumble的名词复数 ) | |
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191
surmise
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| v./n.猜想，推测 | |
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