BROTHER HAWKYARD (as he insisted on my calling him) put me to school, and told me to work my way. ‘You are all right, George,’ he said. ‘I have been the best servant the Lord has had in his service for this five-and-thirty year (O, I have!); and he knows the value of such a servant as I have been to him (O, yes, he does!); and he’ll prosper1 your schooling2 as a part of my reward. That’s what HE’ll do, George. He’ll do it for me.’
From the first I could not like this familiar knowledge of the ways of the sublime3, inscrutable Almighty4, on Brother Hawkyard’s part. As I grew a little wiser, and still a little wiser, I liked it less and less. His manner, too, of confirming himself in a parenthesis5, — as if, knowing himself, he doubted his own word, — I found distasteful. I cannot tell how much these dislikes cost me; for I had a dread6 that they were worldly.
As time went on, I became a Foundation-boy on a good foundation, and I cost Brother Hawkyard nothing. When I had worked my way so far, I worked yet harder, in the hope of ultimately getting a presentation to college and a fellowship. My health has never been strong (some vapour from the Preston cellar cleaves7 to me, I think); and what with much work and some weakness, I came again to be regarded — that is, by my fellow-students — as unsocial.
All through my time as a foundation-boy, I was within a few miles of Brother Hawkyard’s congregation; and whenever I was what we called a leave-boy on a Sunday, I went over there at his desire. Before the knowledge became forced upon me that outside their place of meeting these brothers and sisters were no better than the rest of the human family, but on the whole were, to put the case mildly, as bad as most, in respect of giving short weight in their shops, and not speaking the truth, — I say, before this knowledge became forced upon me, their prolix8 addresses, their inordinate9 conceit10, their daring ignorance, their investment of the Supreme11 Ruler of heaven and earth with their own miserable12 meannesses and littlenesses, greatly shocked me. Still, as their term for the frame of mind that could not perceive them to be in an exalted13 state of grace was the ‘worldly’ state, I did for a time suffer tortures under my inquiries14 of myself whether that young worldly- devilish spirit of mine could secretly be lingering at the bottom of my non-appreciation.
Brother Hawkyard was the popular expounder15 in this assembly, and generally occupied the platform (there was a little platform with a table on it, in lieu of a pulpit) first, on a Sunday afternoon. He was by trade a drysalter. Brother Gimblet, an elderly man with a crabbed16 face, a large dog’s-eared shirt-collar, and a spotted17 blue neckerchief reaching up behind to the crown of his head, was also a drysalter and an expounder. Brother Gimblet professed18 the greatest admiration19 for Brother Hawkyard, but (I had thought more than once) bore him a jealous grudge20.
Let whosoever may peruse21 these lines kindly22 take the pains here to read twice my solemn pledge, that what I write of the language and customs of the congregation in question I write scrupulously23, literally24, exactly, from the life and the truth.
On the first Sunday after I had won what I had so long tried for, and when it was certain that I was going up to college, Brother Hawkyard concluded a long exhortation25 thus:
‘Well, my friends and fellow-sinners, now I told you when I began, that I didn’t know a word of what I was going to say to you (and no, I did not!), but that it was all one to me, because I knew the Lord would put into my mouth the words I wanted.’
(‘That’s it!’ from Brother Gimblet.)
‘And he did put into my mouth the words I wanted.’
(‘So he did!’ from Brother Gimblet.)
‘And why?’
(‘Ah, let’s have that!’ from Brother Gimblet.)
‘Because I have been his faithful servant for five-and-thirty years, and because he knows it. For five-and-thirty years! And he knows it, mind you! I got those words that I wanted on account of my wages. I got ‘em from the Lord, my fellow-sinners. Down! I said, “Here’s a heap of wages due; let us have something down, on account.” And I got it down, and I paid it over to you; and you won’t wrap it up in a napkin, nor yet in a towel, nor yet pocketankercher, but you’ll put it out at good interest. Very well. Now, my brothers and sisters and fellow-sinners, I am going to conclude with a question, and I’ll make it so plain (with the help of the Lord, after five-and-thirty years, I should rather hope!) as that the Devil shall not be able to confuse it in your heads, — which he would be overjoyed to do.’
‘And the question is this, Are the angels learned?’
(‘Not they. Not a bit on it!’ from Brother Gimblet, with the greatest confidence.)
‘Not they. And where’s the proof? sent ready-made by the hand of the Lord. Why, there’s one among us here now, that has got all the learning that can be crammed27 into him. I got him all the learning that could be crammed into him. His grandfather’ (this I had never heard before) ‘was a brother of ours. He was Brother Parksop. That’s what he was. Parksop; Brother Parksop. His worldly name was Parksop, and he was a brother of this brotherhood28. Then wasn’t he Brother Parksop?’
(‘Must be. Couldn’t help hisself!’ from Brother Gimblet.)
‘Well, he left that one now here present among us to the care of a brother-sinner of his (and that brother-sinner, mind you, was a sinner of a bigger size in his time than any of you; praise the Lord!), Brother Hawkyard. Me. I got him without fee or reward, — without a morsel29 of myrrh, or frankincense, nor yet amber30, letting alone the honeycomb, — all the learning that could be crammed into him. Has it brought him into our temple, in the spirit? No. Have we had any ignorant brothers and sisters that didn’t know round O from crooked31 S, come in among us meanwhile? Many. Then the angels are NOT learned; then they don’t so much as know their alphabet. And now, my friends and fellow-sinners, having brought it to that, perhaps some brother present — perhaps you, Brother Gimblet — will pray a bit for us?’
Brother Gimblet undertook the sacred function, after having drawn32 his sleeve across his mouth, and muttered, ‘Well! I don’t know as I see my way to hitting any of you quite in the right place neither.’ He said this with a dark smile, and then began to bellow33. What we were specially34 to be preserved from, according to his solicitations, was, despoilment35 of the orphan36, suppression of testamentary intentions on the part of a father or (say) grandfather, appropriation37 of the orphan’s house-property, feigning38 to give in charity to the wronged one from whom we withheld39 his due; and that class of sins. He ended with the petition, ‘Give us peace!’ which, speaking for myself, was very much needed after twenty minutes of his bellowing40.
Even though I had not seen him when he rose from his knees, steaming with perspiration41, glance at Brother Hawkyard, and even though I had not heard Brother Hawkyard’s tone of congratulating him on the vigour42 with which he had roared, I should have detected a malicious43 application in this prayer. Unformed suspicions to a similar effect had sometimes passed through my mind in my earlier school-days, and had always caused me great distress44; for they were worldly in their nature, and wide, very wide, of the spirit that had drawn me from Sylvia. They were sordid45 suspicions, without a shadow of proof. They were worthy46 to have originated in the unwholesome cellar. They were not only without proof, but against proof; for was I not myself a living proof of what Brother Hawkyard had done? and without him, how should I ever have seen the sky look sorrowfully down upon that wretched boy at Hoghton Towers?
Although the dread of a relapse into a stage of savage47 selfishness was less strong upon me as I approached manhood, and could act in an increased degree for myself, yet I was always on my guard against any tendency to such relapse. After getting these suspicions under my feet, I had been troubled by not being able to like Brother Hawkyard’s manner, or his professed religion. So it came about, that, as I walked back that Sunday evening, I thought it would be an act of reparation for any such injury my struggling thoughts had unwillingly48 done him, if I wrote, and placed in his hands, before going to college, a full acknowledgment of his goodness to me, and an ample tribute of thanks. It might serve as an implied vindication49 of him against any dark scandal from a rival brother and expounder, or from any other quarter.
Accordingly, I wrote the document with much care. I may add with much feeling too; for it affected50 me as I went on. Having no set studies to pursue, in the brief interval51 between leaving the Foundation and going to Cambridge, I determined52 to walk out to his place of business, and give it into his own hands.
It was a winter afternoon, when I tapped at the door of his little counting-house, which was at the farther end of his long, low shop. As I did so (having entered by the back yard, where casks and boxes were taken in, and where there was the inscription53, ‘Private way to the counting-house’), a shopman called to me from the counter that he was engaged.
‘Brother Gimblet’ (said the shopman, who was one of the brotherhood) ‘is with him.’
I thought this all the better for my purpose, and made bold to tap again. They were talking in a low tone, and money was passing; for I heard it being counted out.
‘Who is it?’ asked Brother Hawkyard, sharply.
‘George Silverman,’ I answered, holding the door open. ‘May I come in?’
Both brothers seemed so astounded54 to see me that I felt shyer than usual. But they looked quite cadaverous in the early gaslight, and perhaps that accidental circumstance exaggerated the expression of their faces.
‘What is the matter?’ asked Brother Hawkyard.
‘Ay! what is the matter?’ asked Brother Gimblet.
‘Nothing at all,’ I said, diffidently producing my document: ‘I am only the bearer of a letter from myself.’
‘From yourself, George?’ cried Brother Hawkyard.
‘And to you,’ said I.
‘And to me, George?’
He turned paler, and opened it hurriedly; but looking over it, and seeing generally what it was, became less hurried, recovered his colour, and said, ‘Praise the Lord!’
‘That’s it!’ cried Brother Gimblet. ‘Well put! Amen.’
Brother Hawkyard then said, in a livelier strain, ‘You must know, George, that Brother Gimblet and I are going to make our two businesses one. We are going into partnership55. We are settling it now. Brother Gimblet is to take one clear half of the profits (O, yes! he shall have it; he shall have it to the last farthing).’
‘There is no objection,’ pursued Brother Hawkyard, ‘to my reading this aloud, George?’
As it was what I expressly desired should be done, after yesterday’s prayer, I more than readily begged him to read it aloud. He did so; and Brother Gimblet listened with a crabbed smile.
‘It was in a good hour that I came here,’ he said, wrinkling up his eyes. ‘It was in a good hour, likewise, that I was moved yesterday to depict57 for the terror of evil-doers a character the direct opposite of Brother Hawkyard’s. But it was the Lord that done it: I felt him at it while I was perspiring58.’
After that it was proposed by both of them that I should attend the congregation once more before my final departure. What my shy reserve would undergo, from being expressly preached at and prayed at, I knew beforehand. But I reflected that it would be for the last time, and that it might add to the weight of my letter. It was well known to the brothers and sisters that there was no place taken for me in THEIR paradise; and if I showed this last token of deference59 to Brother Hawkyard, notoriously in despite of my own sinful inclinations60, it might go some little way in aid of my statement that he had been good to me, and that I was grateful to him. Merely stipulating62, therefore, that no express endeavour should be made for my conversion63, — which would involve the rolling of several brothers and sisters on the floor, declaring that they felt all their sins in a heap on their left side, weighing so many pounds avoirdupois, as I knew from what I had seen of those repulsive64 mysteries, — I promised.
Since the reading of my letter, Brother Gimblet had been at intervals65 wiping one eye with an end of his spotted blue neckerchief, and grinning to himself. It was, however, a habit that brother had, to grin in an ugly manner even when expounding66. I call to mind a delighted snarl67 with which he used to detail from the platform the torments68 reserved for the wicked (meaning all human creation except the brotherhood), as being remarkably69 hideous70.
I left the two to settle their articles of partnership, and count money; and I never saw them again but on the following Sunday. Brother Hawkyard died within two or three years, leaving all he possessed71 to Brother Gimblet, in virtue72 of a will dated (as I have been told) that very day.
Now I was so far at rest with myself, when Sunday came, knowing that I had conquered my own mistrust, and righted Brother Hawkyard in the jaundiced vision of a rival, that I went, even to that coarse chapel73, in a less sensitive state than usual. How could I foresee that the delicate, perhaps the diseased, corner of my mind, where I winced74 and shrunk when it was touched, or was even approached, would be handled as the theme of the whole proceedings75?
On this occasion it was assigned to Brother Hawkyard to pray, and to Brother Gimblet to preach. The prayer was to open the ceremonies; the discourse76 was to come next. Brothers Hawkyard and Gimblet were both on the platform; Brother Hawkyard on his knees at the table, unmusically ready to pray; Brother Gimblet sitting against the wall, grinningly ready to preach.
‘Let us offer up the sacrifice of prayer, my brothers and sisters and fellow-sinners.’ Yes; but it was I who was the sacrifice. It was our poor, sinful, worldly-minded brother here present who was wrestled77 for. The now-opening career of this our unawakened brother might lead to his becoming a minister of what was called ‘the church.’ That was what HE looked to. The church. Not the chapel, Lord. The church. No rectors, no vicars, no archdeacons, no bishops78, no archbishops, in the chapel, but, O Lord! many such in the church. Protect our sinful brother from his love of lucre79. Cleanse80 from our unawakened brother’s breast his sin of worldly- mindedness. The prayer said infinitely81 more in words, but nothing more to any intelligible82 effect.
Then Brother Gimblet came forward, and took (as I knew he would) the text, ‘My kingdom is not of this world.’ Ah! but whose was, my fellow-sinners? Whose? Why, our brother’s here present was. The only kingdom he had an idea of was of this world. (‘That’s it!’ from several of the congregation.) What did the woman do when she lost the piece of money? Went and looked for it. What should our brother do when he lost his way? (‘Go and look for it,’ from a sister.) Go and look for it, true. But must he look for it in the right direction, or in the wrong? (‘In the right,’ from a brother.) There spake the prophets! He must look for it in the right direction, or he couldn’t find it. But he had turned his back upon the right direction, and he wouldn’t find it. Now, my fellow-sinners, to show you the difference betwixt worldly- mindedness and unworldly-mindedness, betwixt kingdoms not of this world and kingdoms OF this world, here was a letter wrote by even our worldly-minded brother unto Brother Hawkyard. Judge, from hearing of it read, whether Brother Hawkyard was the faithful steward83 that the Lord had in his mind only t’other day, when, in this very place, he drew you the picter of the unfaithful one; for it was him that done it, not me. Don’t doubt that!
Brother Gimblet then groaned84 and bellowed85 his way through my composition, and subsequently through an hour. The service closed with a hymn86, in which the brothers unanimously roared, and the sisters unanimously shrieked87 at me, That I by wiles88 of worldly gain was mocked, and they on waters of sweet love were rocked; that I with mammon struggled in the dark, while they were floating in a second ark.
I went out from all this with an aching heart and a weary spirit: not because I was quite so weak as to consider these narrow creatures interpreters of the Divine Majesty89 and Wisdom, but because I was weak enough to feel as though it were my hard fortune to be misrepresented and misunderstood, when I most tried to subdue90 any risings of mere61 worldliness within me, and when I most hoped that, by dint91 of trying earnestly, I had succeeded.
点击收听单词发音
1 prosper | |
v.成功,兴隆,昌盛;使成功,使昌隆,繁荣 | |
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2 schooling | |
n.教育;正规学校教育 | |
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3 sublime | |
adj.崇高的,伟大的;极度的,不顾后果的 | |
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4 almighty | |
adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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5 parenthesis | |
n.圆括号,插入语,插曲,间歇,停歇 | |
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6 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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7 cleaves | |
v.劈开,剁开,割开( cleave的第三人称单数 ) | |
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8 prolix | |
adj.罗嗦的;冗长的 | |
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9 inordinate | |
adj.无节制的;过度的 | |
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10 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
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11 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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12 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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13 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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14 inquiries | |
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听 | |
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15 expounder | |
陈述者,说明者 | |
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16 crabbed | |
adj.脾气坏的;易怒的;(指字迹)难辨认的;(字迹等)难辨认的v.捕蟹( crab的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17 spotted | |
adj.有斑点的,斑纹的,弄污了的 | |
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18 professed | |
公开声称的,伪称的,已立誓信教的 | |
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19 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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20 grudge | |
n.不满,怨恨,妒嫉;vt.勉强给,不情愿做 | |
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21 peruse | |
v.细读,精读 | |
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22 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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23 scrupulously | |
adv.一丝不苟地;小心翼翼地,多顾虑地 | |
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24 literally | |
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实 | |
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25 exhortation | |
n.劝告,规劝 | |
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26 crafty | |
adj.狡猾的,诡诈的 | |
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27 crammed | |
adj.塞满的,挤满的;大口地吃;快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满;填入;临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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28 brotherhood | |
n.兄弟般的关系,手中情谊 | |
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29 morsel | |
n.一口,一点点 | |
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30 amber | |
n.琥珀;琥珀色;adj.琥珀制的 | |
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31 crooked | |
adj.弯曲的;不诚实的,狡猾的,不正当的 | |
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32 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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33 bellow | |
v.吼叫,怒吼;大声发出,大声喝道 | |
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34 specially | |
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地 | |
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35 despoilment | |
n.抢夺,剥夺 | |
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36 orphan | |
n.孤儿;adj.无父母的 | |
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37 appropriation | |
n.拨款,批准支出 | |
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38 feigning | |
假装,伪装( feign的现在分词 ); 捏造(借口、理由等) | |
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39 withheld | |
withhold过去式及过去分词 | |
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40 bellowing | |
v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的现在分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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41 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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42 vigour | |
(=vigor)n.智力,体力,精力 | |
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43 malicious | |
adj.有恶意的,心怀恶意的 | |
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44 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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45 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
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46 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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47 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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48 unwillingly | |
adv.不情愿地 | |
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49 vindication | |
n.洗冤,证实 | |
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50 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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51 interval | |
n.间隔,间距;幕间休息,中场休息 | |
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52 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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53 inscription | |
n.(尤指石块上的)刻印文字,铭文,碑文 | |
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54 astounded | |
v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词);愕然;愕;惊讶 | |
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55 partnership | |
n.合作关系,伙伴关系 | |
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56 clinched | |
v.(尤指两人)互相紧紧抱[扭]住( clinch的过去式和过去分词 );解决(争端、交易),达成(协议) | |
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57 depict | |
vt.描画,描绘;描写,描述 | |
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58 perspiring | |
v.出汗,流汗( perspire的现在分词 ) | |
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59 deference | |
n.尊重,顺从;敬意 | |
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60 inclinations | |
倾向( inclination的名词复数 ); 倾斜; 爱好; 斜坡 | |
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61 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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62 stipulating | |
v.(尤指在协议或建议中)规定,约定,讲明(条件等)( stipulate的现在分词 );规定,明确要求 | |
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63 conversion | |
n.转化,转换,转变 | |
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64 repulsive | |
adj.排斥的,使人反感的 | |
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65 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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66 expounding | |
论述,详细讲解( expound的现在分词 ) | |
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67 snarl | |
v.吼叫,怒骂,纠缠,混乱;n.混乱,缠结,咆哮 | |
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68 torments | |
(肉体或精神上的)折磨,痛苦( torment的名词复数 ); 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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69 remarkably | |
ad.不同寻常地,相当地 | |
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70 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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71 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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72 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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73 chapel | |
n.小教堂,殡仪馆 | |
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74 winced | |
赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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75 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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76 discourse | |
n.论文,演说;谈话;话语;vi.讲述,著述 | |
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77 wrestled | |
v.(与某人)搏斗( wrestle的过去式和过去分词 );扭成一团;扭打;(与…)摔跤 | |
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78 bishops | |
(基督教某些教派管辖大教区的)主教( bishop的名词复数 ); (国际象棋的)象 | |
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79 lucre | |
n.金钱,财富 | |
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80 cleanse | |
vt.使清洁,使纯洁,清洗 | |
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81 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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82 intelligible | |
adj.可理解的,明白易懂的,清楚的 | |
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83 steward | |
n.乘务员,服务员;看管人;膳食管理员 | |
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84 groaned | |
v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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85 bellowed | |
v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的过去式和过去分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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86 hymn | |
n.赞美诗,圣歌,颂歌 | |
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87 shrieked | |
v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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88 wiles | |
n.(旨在欺骗或吸引人的)诡计,花招;欺骗,欺诈( wile的名词复数 ) | |
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89 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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90 subdue | |
vt.制服,使顺从,征服;抑制,克制 | |
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91 dint | |
n.由于,靠;凹坑 | |
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