The lesson went home; Laura began to model herself more and more on those around her; to grasp that the unpardonable sin is to vary from the common mould.
In August, after the midwinter holidays, she was promoted to the second class; she began Latin; and as a reward was allowed by Mother to wear her dresses an inch below her knees. She became a quick, adaptable1 pupil, with a parrot-like memory, and at the end of the school year delighted Mother’s heart with a couple of highly gilt2 volumes, of negligible contents.
At home, during those first holidays, she gave her sister and brothers cold creeps down their spines3, with her stories of the great doings that took place at school; and none of her class-mates would have recognised in this arrant4 drawer-of-the-long-bow, the unlucky little blunderbuss of the early days.
On her return, Laura’s circle of friends was enlarged. The morning after her arrival, on entering the dining-hall, she found a new girl standing5 shy and awkward before the fireplace. This was the daughter of a millionaire squatter6 named Macnamara; and the report of her father’s wealth had preceded her. Yet here she now had to hang about, alone, unhappy, the target of all eyes. It might be supposed that Laura would feel some sympathy for her, having so recently undergone the same experience herself. But that was not her way. She rejoiced, in barbarian7 fashion, that this girl, older than she by about a year, and of a higher social standing, should have to endure a like ordeal8. Staring heartlessly, she accentuated9 her part of old girl knowing all the ropes, and was so inclined to show off that she let herself in for a snub from Miss Snodgrass.
Tilly Macnamara joined Laura’s class, and the two were soon good friends.
Tilly was a short, plump girl, with white teeth, rather boyish hands, and the blue-grey eyes predominant in Australia. She was usually dressed in silk, and she never wore an apron10 to protect the front of her frock. Naturally, too, she had a bottomless supply of pocket-money: if a subscription11 were raised, she gave ten shillings where others gave one; and on the Saturday holidays she flung about with half-crowns as Laura would have been afraid to do with pennies.
For the latter with her tiny dole12, which had to last so and so long, since no more was forthcoming, it was a difficult task to move gracefully13 among companions none of whom knew what it meant to be really poor. Many trivial mortifications were the result; and countless14 small subterfuges15 had to be resorted to, to prevent it leaking out just how paltry17 her allowance was.
But the question of money was, after all, trifling18, compared with the infinitely19 more important one of dress.
With regard to dress, Laura’s troubles were manifold. It was not only that here, too, by reason of Mother’s straitened means, she was forced to remain an outsider: that, in itself, she would have borne lightly; for, as little girls go, she was indifferent to finery. Had she had a couple of new frocks a year, in which she could have been neat and unremarkable, she would have been more than content. But, from her babyhood on, Laura — and Pin with her — had lamented20 the fact that children could not go about clad in sacks, mercifully indistinguishable one from another. For they were the daughters of an imaginative mother, and, balked21 in other outlets22, this imagination had wreaked23 itself on their clothing. All her short life long, Laura had suffered under a home-made, picturesque24 style of dress; and she had resented, with a violence even Mother did not gauge25, this use of her young body as a peg26 on which to hang fantastic garments. After her tenth birthday she was, she thanked goodness, considered too old for the quaint27 shapes beneath which Pin still groaned28; but there remained the matter of colour for Mother to sin against, and in this she seemed to grow more intemperate29 year by year. Herself dressed always in the soberest browns and blacks, she liked to see her young flock gay as Paradise birds, lighting30 up a drab world; and when Mother liked a thing, she was not given to consulting the wishes of little people. Those were awful times when she went, say, to Melbourne, and bought as a bargain a whole roll of cloth of an impossible colour, which had to be utilised to the last inch; or when she unearthed31, from an old trunk, some antiquated32 garment to be cut up and reshaped — a Paisley shawl, a puce ball-dress, even an old pair of green rep curtains.
It was thus a heavy blow to Laura to find, on going home, that Mother had already bought her new spring dress. In one respect all was well: it had been made by the local dressmaker, and consequently had not the home-made cut that Laura abhorred33. But the colour! Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach the moment she set eyes on it, and only with difficulty did she restrain her tears.— Mother had chosen a vivid purple, of a crude, old-fashioned shade.
Now, quite apart from her personal feelings, Laura had come to know very exactly, during the few months she had been at school, the views held by her companions on the subject of colour. No matter how sumptuous34 or how simple the material of which the dress was made, it must be dark, or of a delicate tint35. Brilliancy was a sign of vulgarity, and put the wearer outside the better circles. Hence, at this critical juncture36, when Laura was striving to ape her fellows in all vital matters, the unpropitious advent37 of the purple threatened to undo38 her.
After her first dismayed inspection39, she retreated to the bottom of the garden to give vent16 to her feelings.
“I shall never be able to wear it,” she moaned. “Oh, how COULD she buy such a thing? And I needed a new dress so awfully40, awfully much.”
“It isn’t really so bad, Laura,” pleaded Pin. “It’ll look darker, I’m sure, if you’ve got it on — and if you don’t go out in the sun.”
“You haven’t got to wear it. It was piggish of you, Pin, perfectly41 piggish! You MIGHT have watched what she was buying.”
“I did, Laura!” asseverated42 Pin, on the brink43 of tears. “There was a nice dark brown and I said take that, you would like it better, and she said hold your tongue, and did I think she was going to dress you as if you were your own grandmother.”
This dress hung for weeks in the most private corner of Laura’s school wardrobe. Her companions had all returned with new outfits44, and on the first assemblage for church there was a great mustering45 of one another, both by girls and teachers. Laura was the only one to descend46 in the dress she had worn throughout the winter. Her heart was sore with bitterness, and when the handful of Episcopalians were marching to St Stephen’s-on-the-Hill, she strove to soothe47 her own wound.
“I can’t think why my dress hasn’t come,” she said gratuitously48, out of this hurt, with an oblique49 glance to see how her partner took the remark: it was the good-natured Maria Morell, who was resplendent in velvet50 and feathers. “I expect that stupid dressmaker couldn’t get it done in time. I’ve waited for it all the week.”
“What a sell!” said Maria, but with mediocre51 interest; for she had cocked her eye at a harmless-looking youth, who was doing his best not to blush on passing the line of girls.—“I say, do look at that toff making eyes. Isn’t he a nanny-goat.”
On several subsequent Sundays, Laura fingered, in an agony of indecision, the pleasing stuff of the dress, and ruefully considered its modish52 cut. Once, no one being present, she even took it out of the wardrobe. But the merciless spring sunshine seemed to make the purple shoot fire, to let loose a host of other colours it in as well, and, with a shudder53, she re-hung it on its peg.
But the evil day came. After a holiday at Godmother’s, she received a hot letter from Mother. Godmother had complained of her looking “dowdy”, and Mother was exceedingly cross. Laura was ordered to spend the coming Saturday as well at Prahran, and in her new dress, under penalty of a correspondence with Mrs. Gurley. There was no going against an order of this kind, and with death at her heart Laura prepared to obey. On the fatal morning she dawdled54 as long as possible over her mending, thus postponing55 dressing56 to go out till the others had vacated the bedroom; where, in order not to be forced to see herself, she kept her eyes half shut, and turned the looking-glass hind-before. Although it was a warm day, she hung a cloak over her shoulders. But her arms peeped out of the loose sleeves, and at least a foot of skirt was visible. As she walked along the corridor and down the stairs, she seemed to smudge the place with colour, and, directly she entered the dining-hall, comet-like she drew all eyes upon her. Astonished titterings followed in her wake; even the teachers goggled57 her, afterwards to put their heads together. In the reception-room Marina remarked at once: “Hullo!— is THIS the new dress your mother wrote us about?”
Outside, things were no better; the very tram-conductors were fascinated by it; and every passer-by was a fresh object of dread58: Laura waited, her heart a-thump, for the moment when he should raise his eyes and, with a start of attention, become aware of the screaming colour. At Godmother’s all the faces disapproved59: Georgina said, “What a guy!” when she thought Laura was out of earshot; but the boys stated their opinion openly as soon as they had her to themselves.
“Oh, golly! Like a parrot — ain’t she?”
“This way to the purple parrot — this way! Step up, ladies and gentlemen! A penny the whole show!”
That evening, she tore the dress from her back and, hanging it up inside the cloak, vowed60 that, come what might, she would never put it on again. A day or two later, on unexpectedly entering her bedroom, she found Lilith Gordon and another girl at her wardrobe. They grew very red, and hurried giggling61 from the room, but Laura had seen what they were looking at. After this, she tied the dress up with string and brown paper and hid it in a drawer, under her nightgowns. When she went home at Christmas it went with her, still in the parcel, and then there was a stormy scene. But Laura was stubborn: rather than wear the dress, she would not go back to the College at all. Mother’s heart had been softened62 by the prizes; Laura seized the occasion, and extracted a promise that she should be allowed in future to choose her own frocks.— And so the purple dress was passed on to Pin, who detested63 it with equal heartiness64, but, living under Mother’s eye, had not the spirit to fight against it.
“Got anything new in the way of clothes?” asked Lilith Gordon as she and Laura undressed for bed a night or two after their return.
“Yes, one,” said Laura shortly.— For she thought Lilith winked65 at the third girl, a publican’s daughter from Clunes.
“Another like the last? Or have you gone in for yellow ochre this time?”
Laura flamed in silence.
“Great Scott, what a colour that was! Fit for an Easter Fair — Miss Day said so.”
“It wasn’t mine,” retorted Laura passionately66. “It . . . it belonged to a girl I knew who died — and her mother gave it to me as a remembrance of her — but I didn’t care for it.”
“I shouldn’t think you did.— But I say, does your mother let you wear other people’s clothes? What a rummy thing to do!”
She went out of the room — no doubt to spread this piece of gossip further. Laura looked daggers67 after her. She was angry enough with Lilith for having goaded68 her to the lie, but much angrier with herself for its blundering ineffectualness. It was not likely she had been believed, and if she were, well, it made matters worse instead of better: people would conclude that she lived on charity. Always when unexpectedly required to stand on the defensive69, she said or did something foolish. That morning, for instance, a similar thing had happened — it had rankled70 all day in her mind. On looking through the washing, Miss Day had exclaimed in horror at the way in which her stockings were mended.
“Whoever did it? They’ve been done since you left here. I would never have passed such dams.”
Laura crimsoned71. “Those? Oh, an old nurse we’ve got at home. We’ve had her for years and years — but her eyesight’s going now.”
Miss Day sniffed73 audibly. “So I should think. To cobble like that!”
They were Mother’s dams, hastily made, late at night, and with all Mother’s genial74 impatience75 at useful sewing as opposed to beautiful. Laura’s intention had been to shield Mother from criticism, as well as to spare Miss Day’s feelings. But to have done it so clumsily as this! To have had to wince76 under Miss Day’s scepticism! It was only a wonder the governess had not there and then taxed her with the fib. For who believed in old nurses nowadays? They were a stock property, borrowed on the spur of the moment from readings in THE FAMILY HERALD77, from Tennyson’s LADY CLARE. Why on earth had such a far-fetched excuse leapt to her tongue? Why could she not have said Sarah, the servant, the maid-of-all-work? Then Miss Day would have had no chance to sniff72, and she, Laura, could have believed herself believed, instead of having to fret78 over her own stupidity.— But what she would like more than anything to know was, why the mending of the stockings at home should NOT be Sarah’s work? Why must it just be Mother — her mother alone — who made herself so disagreeably conspicuous79, and not merely by darning the stockings, but, what was a still greater grievance80, by not even darning them well?
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adaptable
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| adj.能适应的，适应性强的，可改编的 | |
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gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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spines
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| n.脊柱( spine的名词复数 )；脊椎；（动植物的）刺；书脊 | |
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arrant
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| adj.极端的；最大的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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squatter
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| n.擅自占地者 | |
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barbarian
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| n.野蛮人；adj.野蛮(人)的；未开化的 | |
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ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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accentuated
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| v.重读( accentuate的过去式和过去分词 )；使突出；使恶化；加重音符号于 | |
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apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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dole
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| n.救济，（失业）救济金；vt.（out）发放，发给 | |
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gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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subterfuges
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| n.（用说谎或欺骗以逃脱责备、困难等的）花招，遁词( subterfuge的名词复数 ) | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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balked
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| v.畏缩不前，犹豫( balk的过去式和过去分词 )；（指马）不肯跑 | |
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outlets
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| n.出口( outlet的名词复数 )；经销店；插座；廉价经销店 | |
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wreaked
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| 诉诸（武力），施行（暴力），发（脾气）( wreak的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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gauge
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| v.精确计量；估计；n.标准度量；计量器 | |
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peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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intemperate
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| adj.无节制的，放纵的 | |
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lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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unearthed
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| 出土的（考古） | |
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antiquated
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| adj.陈旧的，过时的 | |
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abhorred
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| v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 )；（厌恶地）回避；拒绝；淘汰 | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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advent
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| n.(重要事件等的)到来，来临 | |
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undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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asseverated
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| v.郑重声明，断言( asseverate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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brink
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| n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿 | |
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outfits
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| n.全套装备( outfit的名词复数 )；一套服装；集体；组织v.装备，配置设备，供给服装( outfit的第三人称单数 ) | |
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mustering
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| v.集合，召集，集结（尤指部队）( muster的现在分词 )；（自他人处）搜集某事物；聚集；激发 | |
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descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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gratuitously
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| 平白 | |
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oblique
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| adj.斜的，倾斜的，无诚意的，不坦率的 | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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mediocre
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| adj.平常的，普通的 | |
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modish
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| adj.流行的，时髦的 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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dawdled
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| v.混（时间）( dawdle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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postponing
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| v.延期，推迟( postpone的现在分词 ) | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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goggled
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| adj.戴护目镜的v.睁大眼睛瞪视， （惊讶的）转动眼珠( goggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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giggling
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| v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 ) | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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detested
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| v.憎恶，嫌恶，痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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heartiness
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| 诚实，热心 | |
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winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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daggers
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| 匕首，短剑( dagger的名词复数 ) | |
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goaded
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| v.刺激( goad的过去式和过去分词 )；激励；（用尖棒）驱赶；驱使（或怂恿、刺激）某人 | |
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defensive
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| adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的 | |
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rankled
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| v.（使）痛苦不已，（使）怨恨不已( rankle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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crimsoned
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| 变为深红色（crimson的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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sniff
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| vi.嗅…味道；抽鼻涕；对嗤之以鼻，蔑视 | |
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sniffed
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| v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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74
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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75
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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76
wince
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| n.畏缩，退避，（因痛苦，苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动；v.畏缩，退缩，退避 | |
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77
herald
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| vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎 | |
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78
fret
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| v.(使)烦恼；(使)焦急；(使)腐蚀，(使)磨损 | |
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79
conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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80
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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