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Chapter 10
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I have spoken of these reminiscences as of a row of coloured beads1, and I confess that as I continue to straighten out my chaplet I am rather proud of the comparison. The beads are all there, as I said — they slip along the string in their small, smooth roundness. Geoffrey Daw-ling accepted like a gentleman the event his evening paper had proclaimed; in view of which I snatched a moment to murmur2 him a hint to offer Mrs. Meldrum his hand. He returned me a heavy head-shake, and I judged that marriage would henceforth strike him very much as the traffic of the street may strike some poor incurable4 at the window of an hospital. Circumstances arising at this time promptly5 led to my making an absence from England, and circumstances already existing offered him a solid basis for similar action. He had after all the usual resource of a Briton — he could take to his boats.

He started on a journey round the globe, and I was left with nothing but my inference as to what might have happened. Later observation however only confirmed my belief that if at any time during the couple of months that followed Flora6 Saunt’s brilliant engagement he had made up, as they say, to the good lady of Folkestone, that good lady would not have pushed him over the cliff. Strange as she was to behold7 I knew of cases in which she had been obliged to administer that shove. I went to New York to paint a couple of portraits; but I found, once on the spot, that I had counted without Chicago, where I was invited to blot8 out this harsh discrimination by the production of no less than ten. I spent a year in America and should probably have spent a second had I not been summoned back to England by alarming news from my mother. Her strength had failed, and as soon as I reached London I hurried down to Folkestone, arriving just at the moment to offer a welcome to some slight symptom of a rally. She had been much worse, but she was now a little better; and though I found nothing but satisfaction in having come to her I saw after a few hours that my London studio, where arrears9 of work had already met me, would be my place to await whatever might next occur. Before returning to town however I had every reason to sally forth3 in search of Mrs. Meldrum, from whom, in so many months, I had not had a line, and my view of whom, with the adjacent objects, as I had left them, had been intercepted10 by a luxuriant foreground.

Before I had gained her house I met her, as I supposed, coming toward me across the down, greeting me from afar with the familiar twinkle of her great vitreous badge; and as it was late in the autumn and the esplanade was a blank I was free to acknowledge this signal by cutting a caper11 on the grass. My enthusiasm dropped indeed the next moment, for it had taken me but a few seconds to perceive that the person thus assaulted had by no means the figure of my military friend. I felt a shock much greater than any I should have thought possible as on this person’s drawing near I identified her as poor little Flora Saunt. At what moment Flora had recognised me belonged to an order of mysteries over which, it quickly came home to me, one would never linger again: I could intensely reflect that once we were face to face it chiefly mattered that I should succeed in looking still more intensely unastonished. All I saw at first was the big gold bar crossing each of her lenses, over which something convex and grotesque12, like the eyes of a large insect, something that now represented her whole personality, seemed, as out of the orifice of a prison, to strain forward and press. The face had shrunk away: it looked smaller, appeared even to look plain; it was at all events, so far as the effect on a spectator was concerned, wholly sacrificed to this huge apparatus13 of sight. There was no smile in it, and she made no motion to take my offered hand.

“I had no idea you were down here!” I exclaimed; and I wondered whether she didn’t know me at all or knew me only by my voice.

“You thought I was Mrs. Meldrum,” she very quietly remarked.

It was the quietness itself that made me feel the necessity of an answer almost violently gay. “Oh yes,” I laughed, “you have a tremendous deal in common with Mrs. Meldrum! I’ve just returned to England after a long absence and I’m on my way to see her. Won’t you come with me?” It struck me that her old reason for keeping clear of our friend was well disposed of now.

“I’ve just left her; I’m staying with her.” She stood solemnly fixing me with her goggles14. “Would you like to paint me now?” she asked. She seemed to speak, with intense gravity, from behind a mask or a cage.

There was nothing to do but to treat the question with the same exuberance15. “It would be a fascinating little artistic16 problem!” That something was wrong it was not difficult to perceive; but a good deal more than met the eye might be presumed to be wrong if Flora was under Mrs. Meldrum’s roof. I had not for a year had much time to think of her, but my imagination had had sufficient warrant for lodging17 her in more gilded18 halls. One of the last things I had heard before leaving England was that in commemoration of the new relationship she had gone to stay with Lady Considine. This had made me take everything else for granted, and the noisy American world had deafened19 my ears to possible contradictions. Her spectacles were at present a direct contradiction; they seemed a negation20 not only of new relationships but of every old one as well. I remember nevertheless that when after a moment she walked beside me on the grass I found myself nervously21 hoping she wouldn’t as yet at any rate tell me anything very dreadful; so that to stave off this danger I harried22 her with questions about Mrs. Meldrum and, without waiting for replies, became profuse23 on the subject of my own doings. My companion was completely silent, and I felt both as if she were watching my nervousness with a sort of sinister24 irony25 and as if I were talking to some different, strange person. Flora plain and obscure and soundless was no Flora at all. At Mrs. Meldrum’s door she turned off with the observation that as there was certainly a great deal I should have to say to our friend she had better not go in with me. I looked at her again — I had been keeping my eyes away from her — but only to meet her magnified stare. I greatly desired in truth to see Mrs. Meldrum alone, but there was something so pitiful in the girl’s predicament that I hesitated to fall in with this idea of dropping her. Yet one couldn’t express a compassion26 without seeming to take too much wretchedness for granted. I reflected that I must really figure to her as a fool, which was an entertainment I had never expected to give her. It rolled over me there for the first time — it has come back to me since — that there is, strangely, in very deep misfortune a dignity finer even than in the most inveterate27 habit of being all right. I couldn’t have to her the manner of treating it as a mere28 detail that I was face to face with a part of what, at our last meeting, we had had such a scene about; but while I was trying to think of some manner that I could have she said quite colourlessly, yet somehow as if she might never see me again: “Goodbye. I’m going to take my walk.”

“All alone?”

She looked round the great bleak29 cliff-top. “With whom should I go? Besides, I like to be alone — for the present.”

This gave me the glimmer30 of a vision that she regarded her disfigurement as temporary, and the confidence came to me that she would never, for her happiness, cease to be a creature of illusions. It enabled me to exclaim, smiling brightly and feeling indeed idiotic31: “Oh, I shall see you again! But I hope you’ll have a very pleasant walk.”

“All my walks are very pleasant, thank you — they do me such a lot of good.” She was as quiet as a mouse, and her words seemed to me stupendous in their wisdom. “I take several a day,” she continued. She might have been an ancient woman responding with humility32 at the church door to the patronage33 of the parson. “The more I take the better I feel. I’m ordered by the doctors to keep all the while in the air and go in for plenty of exercise. It keeps up my general health, you know, and if that goes on improving as it has lately done everything will soon be all right. All that was the matter with me before — and always; it was too reckless! — was that I neglected my general health. It acts directly on the state of the particular organ. So I’m going three miles.”

I grinned at her from the doorstep while Mrs. Meldrum’s maid stood there to admit me. “Oh, I’m so glad,” I said, looking at her as she paced away with the pretty flutter she had kept and remembering the day when, while she rejoined Lord Iffield, I had indulged in the same observation. Her air of assurance was on this occasion not less than it had been on that; but I recalled that she had then struck me as marching off to her doom34. Was she really now marching away from it?


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 beads 894701f6859a9d5c3c045fd6f355dbf5     
n.(空心)小珠子( bead的名词复数 );水珠;珠子项链
参考例句:
  • a necklace of wooden beads 一条木珠项链
  • Beads of perspiration stood out on his forehead. 他的前额上挂着汗珠。
2 murmur EjtyD     
n.低语,低声的怨言;v.低语,低声而言
参考例句:
  • They paid the extra taxes without a murmur.他们毫无怨言地交了附加税。
  • There was a low murmur of conversation in the hall.大厅里有窃窃私语声。
3 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
4 incurable incurable     
adj.不能医治的,不能矫正的,无救的;n.不治的病人,无救的人
参考例句:
  • All three babies were born with an incurable heart condition.三个婴儿都有不可治瘉的先天性心脏病。
  • He has an incurable and widespread nepotism.他们有不可救药的,到处蔓延的裙带主义。
5 promptly LRMxm     
adv.及时地,敏捷地
参考例句:
  • He paid the money back promptly.他立即还了钱。
  • She promptly seized the opportunity his absence gave her.她立即抓住了因他不在场给她创造的机会。
6 flora 4j7x1     
n.(某一地区的)植物群
参考例句:
  • The subtropical island has a remarkably rich native flora.这个亚热带岛屿有相当丰富的乡土植物种类。
  • All flora need water and light.一切草木都需要水和阳光。
7 behold jQKy9     
v.看,注视,看到
参考例句:
  • The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
  • The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。
8 blot wtbzA     
vt.弄脏(用吸墨纸)吸干;n.污点,污渍
参考例句:
  • That new factory is a blot on the landscape.那新建的工厂破坏了此地的景色。
  • The crime he committed is a blot on his record.他犯的罪是他的履历中的一个污点。
9 arrears IVYzQ     
n.到期未付之债,拖欠的款项;待做的工作
参考例句:
  • The payments on that car loan are in arrears by three months.购车贷款的偿付被拖欠了三个月。
  • They are urgent for payment of arrears of wages.他们催讨拖欠的工钱。
10 intercepted 970326ac9f606b6dc4c2550a417e081e     
拦截( intercept的过去式和过去分词 ); 截住; 截击; 拦阻
参考例句:
  • Reporters intercepted him as he tried to leave the hotel. 他正要离开旅馆,记者们把他拦截住了。
  • Reporters intercepted him as he tried to leave by the rear entrance. 他想从后门溜走,记者把他截住了。
11 caper frTzz     
v.雀跃,欢蹦;n.雀跃,跳跃;续随子,刺山柑花蕾;嬉戏
参考例句:
  • The children cut a caper in the yard.孩子们在院子里兴高采烈地乱蹦乱跳。
  • The girl's caper cost her a twisted ankle.小姑娘又蹦又跳,结果扭伤了脚踝。
12 grotesque O6ryZ     
adj.怪诞的,丑陋的;n.怪诞的图案,怪人(物)
参考例句:
  • His face has a grotesque appearance.他的面部表情十分怪。
  • Her account of the incident was a grotesque distortion of the truth.她对这件事的陈述是荒诞地歪曲了事实。
13 apparatus ivTzx     
n.装置,器械;器具,设备
参考例句:
  • The school's audio apparatus includes films and records.学校的视听设备包括放映机和录音机。
  • They had a very refined apparatus.他们有一套非常精良的设备。
14 goggles hsJzYP     
n.护目镜
参考例句:
  • Skiers wear goggles to protect their eyes from the sun.滑雪者都戴上护目镜使眼睛不受阳光伤害。
  • My swimming goggles keep steaming up so I can't see.我的护目镜一直有水雾,所以我看不见。
15 exuberance 3hxzA     
n.丰富;繁荣
参考例句:
  • Her burst of exuberance and her brightness overwhelmed me.她勃发的热情和阳光的性格征服了我。
  • The sheer exuberance of the sculpture was exhilarating.那尊雕塑表现出的勃勃生机让人振奋。
16 artistic IeWyG     
adj.艺术(家)的,美术(家)的;善于艺术创作的
参考例句:
  • The picture on this screen is a good artistic work.这屏风上的画是件很好的艺术品。
  • These artistic handicrafts are very popular with foreign friends.外国朋友很喜欢这些美术工艺品。
17 lodging wRgz9     
n.寄宿,住所;(大学生的)校外宿舍
参考例句:
  • The bill is inclusive of the food and lodging. 账单包括吃、住费用。
  • Where can you find lodging for the night? 你今晚在哪里借宿?
18 gilded UgxxG     
a.镀金的,富有的
参考例句:
  • The golden light gilded the sea. 金色的阳光使大海如金子般闪闪发光。
  • "Friends, they are only gilded disks of lead!" "朋友们,这只不过是些镀金的铅饼! 来自英汉文学 - 败坏赫德莱堡
19 deafened 8c4a2d9d25b27f92f895a8294bb85b2f     
使聋( deafen的过去式和过去分词 ); 使隔音
参考例句:
  • A hard blow on the ear deafened him for life. 耳朵上挨的一记猛击使他耳聋了一辈子。
  • The noise deafened us. 嘈杂声把我们吵聋了。
20 negation q50zu     
n.否定;否认
参考例句:
  • No reasonable negation can be offered.没有合理的反对意见可以提出。
  • The author boxed the compass of negation in his article.该作者在文章中依次探讨了各种反面的意见。
21 nervously tn6zFp     
adv.神情激动地,不安地
参考例句:
  • He bit his lip nervously,trying not to cry.他紧张地咬着唇,努力忍着不哭出来。
  • He paced nervously up and down on the platform.他在站台上情绪不安地走来走去。
22 harried 452fc64bfb6cafc37a839622dacd1b8e     
v.使苦恼( harry的过去式和过去分词 );不断烦扰;一再袭击;侵扰
参考例句:
  • She has been harried by the press all week. 整个星期她都受到新闻界的不断烦扰。
  • The soldiers harried the enemy out of the country. 士兵们不断作骚扰性的攻击直至把敌人赶出国境为止。 来自《简明英汉词典》
23 profuse R1jzV     
adj.很多的,大量的,极其丰富的
参考例句:
  • The hostess is profuse in her hospitality.女主人招待得十分周到。
  • There was a profuse crop of hair impending over the top of his face.一大绺头发垂在他额头上。
24 sinister 6ETz6     
adj.不吉利的,凶恶的,左边的
参考例句:
  • There is something sinister at the back of that series of crimes.在这一系列罪行背后有险恶的阴谋。
  • Their proposals are all worthless and designed out of sinister motives.他们的建议不仅一钱不值,而且包藏祸心。
25 irony P4WyZ     
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄
参考例句:
  • She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
  • In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。
26 compassion 3q2zZ     
n.同情,怜悯
参考例句:
  • He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
  • Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。
27 inveterate q4ox5     
adj.积习已深的,根深蒂固的
参考例句:
  • Hitler was not only an avid reader but also an inveterate underliner.希特勒不仅酷爱读书,还有写写划划的习惯。
  • It is hard for an inveterate smoker to give up tobacco.要一位有多年烟瘾的烟民戒烟是困难的。
28 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
29 bleak gtWz5     
adj.(天气)阴冷的;凄凉的;暗淡的
参考例句:
  • They showed me into a bleak waiting room.他们引我来到一间阴冷的会客室。
  • The company's prospects look pretty bleak.这家公司的前景异常暗淡。
30 glimmer 5gTxU     
v.发出闪烁的微光;n.微光,微弱的闪光
参考例句:
  • I looked at her and felt a glimmer of hope.我注视她,感到了一线希望。
  • A glimmer of amusement showed in her eyes.她的眼中露出一丝笑意。
31 idiotic wcFzd     
adj.白痴的
参考例句:
  • It is idiotic to go shopping with no money.去买东西而不带钱是很蠢的。
  • The child's idiotic deeds caused his family much trouble.那小孩愚蠢的行为给家庭带来许多麻烦。
32 humility 8d6zX     
n.谦逊,谦恭
参考例句:
  • Humility often gains more than pride.谦逊往往比骄傲收益更多。
  • His voice was still soft and filled with specious humility.他的声音还是那么温和,甚至有点谦卑。
33 patronage MSLzq     
n.赞助,支援,援助;光顾,捧场
参考例句:
  • Though it was not yet noon,there was considerable patronage.虽然时间未到中午,店中已有许多顾客惠顾。
  • I am sorry to say that my patronage ends with this.很抱歉,我的赞助只能到此为止。
34 doom gsexJ     
n.厄运,劫数;v.注定,命定
参考例句:
  • The report on our economic situation is full of doom and gloom.这份关于我们经济状况的报告充满了令人绝望和沮丧的调子。
  • The dictator met his doom after ten years of rule.独裁者统治了十年终于完蛋了。


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