This was neither more nor less than the queer extension of her experience, the double life that, in the cage, she grew at last to lead. As the weeks went on there she lived more and more into the world of whiffs and glimpses, she found her divinations work faster and stretch further. It was a prodigious1 view as the pressure heightened, a panorama2 fed with facts and figures, flushed with a torrent3 of colour and accompanied with wondrous4 world-music. What it mainly came to at this period was a picture of how London could amuse itself; and that, with the running commentary of a witness so exclusively a witness, turned for the most part to a hardening of the heart. The nose of this observer was brushed by the bouquet5, yet she could never really pluck even a daisy. What could still remain fresh in her daily grind was the immense disparity, the difference and contrast, from class to class, of every instant and every motion. There were times when all the wires in the country seemed to start from the little hole-and-corner where she plied6 for a livelihood7, and where, in the shuffle8 of feet, the flutter of “forms,” the straying of stamps and the ring of change over the counter, the people she had fallen into the habit of remembering and fitting together with others, and of having her theories and interpretations9 of, kept up before her their long procession and rotation10. What twisted the knife in her vitals was the way the profligate11 rich scattered12 about them, in extravagant13 chatter14 over their extravagant pleasures and sins, an amount of money that would have held the stricken household of her frightened childhood, her poor pinched mother and tormented15 father and lost brother and starved sister, together for a lifetime. During her first weeks she had often gasped16 at the sums people were willing to pay for the stuff they transmitted — the “much love“s, the “awful” regrets, the compliments and wonderments and vain vague gestures that cost the price of a new pair of boots. She had had a way then of glancing at the people’s faces, but she had early learnt that if you became a telegraphist you soon ceased to be astonished. Her eye for types amounted nevertheless to genius, and there were those she liked and those she hated, her feeling for the latter of which grew to a positive possession, an instinct of observation and detection. There were the brazen17 women, as she called them, of the higher and the lower fashion, whose squanderings and graspings, whose struggles and secrets and love~affairs and lies, she tracked and stored up against them till she had at moments, in private, a triumphant18 vicious feeling of mastery and ease, a sense of carrying their silly guilty secrets in her pocket, her small retentive19 brain, and thereby20 knowing so much more about them than they suspected or would care to think. There were those she would have liked to betray, to trip up, to bring down with words altered and fatal; and all through a personal hostility21 provoked by the lightest signs, by their accidents of tone and manner, by the particular kind of relation she always happened instantly to feel.
There were impulses of various kinds, alternately soft and severe, to which she was constitutionally accessible and which were determined22 by the smallest accidents. She was rigid23 in general on the article of making the public itself affix24 its stamps, and found a special enjoyment25 in dealing26 to that end with some of the ladies who were too grand to touch them. She had thus a play of refinement27 and subtlety28 greater, she flattered herself, than any of which she could be made the subject; and though most people were too stupid to be conscious of this it brought her endless small consolations29 and revenges. She recognised quite as much those of her sex whom she would have liked to help, to warn, to rescue, to see more of; and that alternative as well operated exactly through the hazard of personal sympathy, her vision for silver threads and moonbeams and her gift for keeping the clues and finding her way in the tangle30. The moonbeams and silver threads presented at moments all the vision of what poor she might have made of happiness. Blurred31 and blank as the whole thing often inevitably32, or mercifully, became, she could still, through crevices33 and crannies, be stupefied, especially by what, in spite of all seasoning34, touched the sorest place in her consciousness, the revelation of the golden shower flying about without a gleam of gold for herself. It remained prodigious to the end, the money her fine friends were able to spend to get still more, or even to complain to fine friends of their own that they were in want. The pleasures they proposed were equalled only by those they declined, and they made their appointments often so expensively that she was left wondering at the nature of the delights to which the mere35 approaches were so paved with shillings. She quivered on occasion into the perception of this and that one whom she would on the chance have just simply liked to be. Her conceit36, her baffled vanity, was possibly monstrous37; she certainly often threw herself into a defiant38 conviction that she would have done the whole thing much better. But her greatest comfort, mostly, was her comparative vision of the men; by whom I mean the unmistakeable gentlemen, for she had no interest in the spurious or the shabby and no mercy at all for the poor. She could have found a sixpence, outside, for an appearance of want; but her fancy, in some directions so alert, had never a throb39 of response for any sign of the sordid40. The men she did track, moreover, she tracked mainly in one relation, the relation as to which the cage convinced her, she believed, more than anything else could have done, that it was quite the most diffused41.
She found her ladies, in short, almost always in communication with her gentlemen, and her gentlemen with her ladies, and she read into the immensity of their intercourse42 stories and meanings without end. Incontestably she grew to think that the men cut the best figure; and in this particular, as in many others, she arrived at a philosophy of her own, all made up of her private notations43 and cynicisms. It was a striking part of the business, for example, that it was much more the women, on the whole, who were after the men than the men who were after the women: it was literally44 visible that the general attitude of the one sex was that of the object pursued and defensive45, apologetic and attenuating46, while the light of her own nature helped her more or less to conclude as to the attitude of the other. Perhaps she herself a little even fell into the custom of pursuit in occasionally deviating47 only for gentlemen from her high rigour about the stamps. She had early in the day made up her mind, in fine, that they had the best manners; and if there were none of them she noticed when Captain Everard was there, there were plenty she could place and trace and name at other times, plenty who, with their way of being “nice” to her, and of handling, as if their pockets were private tills loose mixed masses of silver and gold, were such pleasant appearances that she could envy them without dislike. They never had to give change — they only had to get it. They ranged through every suggestion, every shade of fortune, which evidently included indeed lots of bad luck as well as of good, declining even toward Mr. Mudge and his bland48 firm thrift49, and ascending50, in wild signals and rocket-flights, almost to within hail of her highest standard. So from month to month she went on with them all, through a thousand ups and downs and a thousand pangs51 and indifferences. What virtually happened was that in the shuffling52 herd53 that passed before her by far the greater part only passed — a proportion but just appreciable54 stayed. Most of the elements swam straight away, lost themselves in the bottomless common, and by so doing really kept the page clear. On the clearness therefore what she did retain stood sharply out; she nipped and caught it, turned it over and interwove it.
1 prodigious | |
adj.惊人的,奇妙的;异常的;巨大的;庞大的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 panorama | |
n.全景,全景画,全景摄影,全景照片[装置] | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 torrent | |
n.激流,洪流;爆发,(话语等的)连发 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 wondrous | |
adj.令人惊奇的,奇妙的;adv.惊人地;异乎寻常地;令人惊叹地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 bouquet | |
n.花束,酒香 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 plied | |
v.使用(工具)( ply的过去式和过去分词 );经常供应(食物、饮料);固定往来;经营生意 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 livelihood | |
n.生计,谋生之道 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 shuffle | |
n.拖著脚走,洗纸牌;v.拖曳,慢吞吞地走 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 interpretations | |
n.解释( interpretation的名词复数 );表演;演绎;理解 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 rotation | |
n.旋转;循环,轮流 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 profligate | |
adj.行为不检的;n.放荡的人,浪子,肆意挥霍者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 scattered | |
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 extravagant | |
adj.奢侈的;过分的;(言行等)放肆的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 chatter | |
vi./n.喋喋不休;短促尖叫;(牙齿)打战 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 tormented | |
饱受折磨的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 gasped | |
v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 brazen | |
adj.厚脸皮的,无耻的,坚硬的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 triumphant | |
adj.胜利的,成功的;狂欢的,喜悦的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 retentive | |
v.保留的,有记忆的;adv.有记性地,记性强地;n.保持力 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 hostility | |
n.敌对,敌意;抵制[pl.]交战,战争 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 affix | |
n.附件,附录 vt.附贴,盖(章),签署 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 refinement | |
n.文雅;高尚;精美;精制;精炼 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 subtlety | |
n.微妙,敏锐,精巧;微妙之处,细微的区别 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 consolations | |
n.安慰,慰问( consolation的名词复数 );起安慰作用的人(或事物) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 tangle | |
n.纠缠;缠结;混乱;v.(使)缠绕;变乱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 blurred | |
v.(使)变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 );(使)难以区分;模模糊糊;迷离 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 inevitably | |
adv.不可避免地;必然发生地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 crevices | |
n.(尤指岩石的)裂缝,缺口( crevice的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 seasoning | |
n.调味;调味料;增添趣味之物 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 monstrous | |
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 defiant | |
adj.无礼的,挑战的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 throb | |
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 diffused | |
散布的,普及的,扩散的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 notations | |
记号,标记法( notation的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 literally | |
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 defensive | |
adj.防御的;防卫的;防守的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 attenuating | |
v.(使)变细( attenuate的现在分词 );(使)变薄;(使)变小;减弱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 deviating | |
v.偏离,越轨( deviate的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 bland | |
adj.淡而无味的,温和的,无刺激性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 thrift | |
adj.节约,节俭;n.节俭,节约 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 ascending | |
adj.上升的,向上的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 pangs | |
突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 ); 悲痛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 shuffling | |
adj. 慢慢移动的, 滑移的 动词shuffle的现在分词形式 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 herd | |
n.兽群,牧群;vt.使集中,把…赶在一起 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 appreciable | |
adj.明显的,可见的,可估量的,可觉察的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |