There was nothing joyful3 in the landscape. It was naturally barren and scraggly and dry, and now dotted with dead beasts. Those alive were so pitifully frail4 that it was painful to behold5 them. Milch cows being beaten in and out of bails6 and dusty yards, in such condition, was surely a cruel purgatory7 for animals. But the coastal8 belt approached with everything green and soft, and ferns and shrubs9 and flowers not to be seen inland. I ran out on the platform at each stop to see all I could. Liverpool, and after that it all seemed town. Strathfield and the roar of the city like a flood. Surging, exciting. It gave me tremors10 all over. The racket of the trains passing each other shocked like blows. Sydney was all around me. I was swamped by new feelings.
I was to be the guest of people who were somebody, I was to see all the sights and meet heaps and heaps of people, and work at nothing but pleasure from morning till night for a month!
I stood beside Pa’s old Gladstone bag—my only luggage—and when most of the passengers had gone a large old lady came and claimed me with: “This is my little girl, I know. I am Mrs. Crasterton.” She gave me a friendly kiss and said, “This is my brother.”
A man much her own general cut but younger, greeted me with a chummy nod and a flabby handshake. Mrs. Crasterton was weirdly11 smart. She had “kept her figure” with corset and belts as strong as patent wire strainers. The brother had a short figure, enlarged by a corpulency. He was instantly ruled out as an object of romance. Knights12 of the imagination are straight and slim, preferably tall and beautiful. Married men, however, have a false importance through their wives that one has to recognise; and in most cases it is impossible to conceive what elderly people ever saw in each other to admire.
I put the brother in the married class. He took a sidelong squint13 at me like a judicial14 old cockatoo. His sister called him Gaddie, but he did not look it. He carried my port along the platform and put Mrs. Crasterton and me in a cab and muttered, “See you later.”
The first thing I noticed about Sydney streets was the rain rushing through them in muddy torrents16 and a tram with water spraying out of its rear to the derision of the bystanders. The bystanders took my eyes. There were so many. Except at a horse race or a funeral bystanders in the bush are scarce.
The noise and bustle17 were enchanting18. A labyrinth19 of streets obscured my sense of direction. Such a lively change from the bush where there was an ache of quietude and every range and road was dulled by familiarity and where one could steer20 by the sun or stars when outside the usual run.
At Circular Quay21, Mrs. Crasterton puffed22 and I sprang out of the cab where Gaddy, who had arrived on a tram, was awaiting us. Cabs are contraptions designed to defeat all but the sturdiest horses, and the Sydney cab-men were not half so respectable-looking as those of Goulburn, but the ferry boat to North Sydney was a scrumptious dream.
My, the comforts and joys of the city compared with the bush! At Miller’s Point, Gaddy dumped us in another cab, which he directed to Geebung Villa23, Pannikin Point, and we went off full rip in the wind and rain without him. I craned my neck to see the magnificent rocks rising on one side of the street, covered with the loveliest ferns with little springs of water trickling24 amongst them. The bamboos waving over walls high above filled me with astonished delight—giants’ wands with fairies’ grace. Doves were mourning and sparrows were twittering everywhere. On the other side were Aladdin glimpses of the Harbor. All too soon we had arrived.
My hostess paid the cabman. He was not satisfied. “You ugly old buzzard, and two of you and luggage to boot; Had I knowed you were to be that mean, I’d have tipped yous both out in the mud.”
“Run inside, my dear,” said Mrs. Crasterton.
“You old skin flint, you’d bile down fleas25 for their hides.”
“Run away, you’ll be shocked,” repeated Mrs. Crasterton, but it seemed cowardly to leave her. The language did not worry me. I had been audience to bullockies in action, to amateurs getting sheep across a creek26, and to veterans training sheep puppies. Besides, I have never cultivated the pose that to hear of the common actualities of life would outrage27 me out of health. It is the being compelled to subscribe28 to cant29 and inconsistencies about them that I find so enervating30.
A maid took my portmanteau. Mrs. Crasterton told me to follow the maid while she followed me laying the blame of “the growing insolence31 of the lower classes” on the unhealthy growth of the Labor32 Party, which she averred33 would be the ruin of the new Commonwealth34. The rain pattered greyly on the bamboos and hibiscus, which shaded the side verandah, the cabby’s voice came as a refrain as we entered the home of a dead statesman where I was to find culture and high congeniality.
Only once in a lifetime can anticipation35 hold such a quality of flattery towards a clique36 or a class as mine did at that moment.
“We are not having anyone in tonight,” said Mrs. Crasterton when she came to my room. “Show me your dresses, child.”
It was a trying moment. I showed the new dress that I was to wear in the evenings, and the other one for street wear. “I must give you some dresses,” she murmured.
Shame invaded me. “I would rather not,” I said shakily. “I could just stay with you. I don’t want to see smart people, and then it would not matter about my clothes.” My frugal37 wardrobe merely covered me and the demands of decency39, and was in no sense decorative40.
I was alone when there was a tap on the door, and there stood a beautiful young lady. “I am Edmée Actem,” said she, with a most gorgeous smile. “I’m a bush girl too, and staying here on purpose to meet you. I was born on a station up the country. I just love your book. It’s ripping. You’ve said all the things we all think, but did not know how to express.”
Edmée had big bluish grey eyes that she rolled most arrestingly, and her hair was in chestnut41 curls on her forehead. Her dress showed off her figure in a SOCIETY manner. She was tall “yet voluptuous”, just like the heroines in The Goulburn Evening Penny Post, and she could languish42 and cast appealing glances. She looked as if she had all kinds of lovers—quondam, hopeless, distracted and those who would even try to be clandestine43, and propose to her in conservatories44, or find her monogrammed handkerchief in the shrubberies. Life must begin for me too on meeting her, so lovely and romantic—the very girl of my dreams.
She said she was dressing45 after dinner. “But that is such a pretty dress, and oh, you are lovely!” burst from me.
She called it just an old rag that she kept for wet nights and when there was no company. Every man who met her must fall madly in love with her. She confirmed this as soon as I confessed apologetically that I had no evening dress. She said it did not matter in my case as I was only a little girl from the bush, but that she was so conspicuous46 for her fatal beauty that it was an effort to keep pace with it. She knew I would not misunderstand her, and it was a relief to speak from soul to soul without humbug47.
I wished that I was so beautiful that men would love me to distraction48, but she said I was not the type. I doted and gloated on her while she told me there and then in confidence some of the burdens of her fascination49. Such luscious50 love affairs put my little experiences out of existence.
Right in Geebung Villa Edmée was having trouble. Derek was very troublesome, and would have been the boy of her dreams only that he was four years younger. Gaddy too was a silly old thing. I asked was that why he was called Gaddy, and she laughed and said he had been christened Gad15. Derek was a spoiled darling only son, and Gaddy... Both lived at Geebung Villa.
I could hardly keep from laughing at the thought of Gad approaching such a beauty as Edmée. In a democracy where admirers abounded51 by the dozen a girl does not at first realise that a bachelor of any age can purchase a woman of any youth if he but have the wherewithal and determination. It takes time also for a girl to grasp that any old tramp of a man thinks that every woman is craving52 a man, even a thing like himself, which she wouldn’t wipe her boots upon; when all the time her despair is not that she is without men importuning53 her, but that among the flock there is not one that she could consider with satisfaction, and that the one that she would desire might think her as undesirable54 as she found the ones who were plaguing her.
Edmée said she was hungry and dissatisfied in her soul, just as I was, and seeking for something other than a mere38 man. She craved55 an affinity56. We were interrupted by the gong, and Edmée promised to tell me more anon.
The house seemed as big as the Royal Hotel as Edmée took me down with her. Gaddy was waiting to open the dining-room door for us, and wearing a dinner jacket. Mrs. Crasterton was in evening dress, but well-covered in a big shawl and wrestling with a joint57. I sat beside Gaddy. Edmée sat opposite. I was glad of that, as I could feast my eyes on her and I hoped that Gad would not mind my being in long sleeves and such a tiny V that it hardly showed any of my neck. Derek did not appear until after we had gone to the library for coffee.
Edmée retired58 to dress with Wheeler—Mrs. Crasterton’s personal maid—in attendance. Derek was being babied in the dining-room and elsewhere, I learned from Gaddy, who had charge of me in the library. Edmée and Derek were going to a ball at Lady Somebody’s. This lady herself was chaperoning Edmée as Mrs. Crasterton had a slight chill.
I longed to be helping59 Edmée to dress, tending her like an altar boy. The incense60 would have come from my admiration61. Derek was all over the place calling to his mother and Gaddy, but I did not catch sight of him. In time he appeared “with ’em all on”, as Gaddy said. I did not let my eyes pop too much on beholding62 him. Here was the beau—the counterpart—of all the heroines embodied63 in Edmée. He carried a shining topper and snowy gloves, and was in a cloak sort of coat with wings—too swell64 for words.
He bowed to me from a distance, but charmingly, and smiled with the loveliest teeth. I felt myself beneath his interest and took care not to obtrude65. His mother came in and sat near the fire.
“Is she never going to be ready?” he said impatiently, and after a while threw aside his cloak and I saw the perfection of his slimness in the becoming swallow tails. He cursed his tailor, though I thought he must be a virtuoso66.
There was no sign of Edmée. Derek went to the piano in the drawing-room and, after half an hour, sent his mother to find out what was keeping “that pestiferous creature”. He went into the hall as his mother returned, and complained about being saddled with such a confisticated bore as the ball in the first place, and Edmée as a Woman Friday in the second.
“Dekky darling, you mustn’t talk so,” said his mother. “Edmée has great influence with Sir George, and you must keep up these connections.”
“She always foists67 herself upon me,” grumbled68 Derek. “Gaddy ought to take his turn. I’d just as soon have stayed at home and played cat’s cradle with the infant prodigy69.”
Derek sounded as if he were dissimulating70 his passion for Edmée. In another ten minutes she “swept into the room”. Her hair was a coiffure in which was a pink rose. She was enveloped71 in a cloak of gold tissue and chiffon and lace. Derek remarked icily that the cab had been waiting an hour, but Edmée wasn’t worried or hurried by that. She made lovely flirtatious72 eyes at Gaddy, kissed me and Mrs. Crasterton and departed.
Mrs. Crasterton disappeared to telephone. Gad played on the piano and showed me books and things, but my heart had gone out for the night with Edmée and Derek. If Derek would give me a few dancing lessons I was sure I could learn in an hour, but it was not natural for such an attractive young man to repair the social deficiencies of a little bush-whacker. The ridicule73 in his remark about the infant prodigy showed me my place. I longed for just one evening dress. Edmée’s wet-night gown would have satisfied me, but Pa hadn’t a penny to buy me one and I did not wish to be beholden to Mrs. Crasterton. I did not sleep on going to bed. The day had been packed with experiences, the lights and voices of the Harbor were so alluring74, and I thought much of a ball room with an orchestra playing gay waltzes and Edmée and Derek the “cynosure75 of all eyes”.
I was up early. It seemed hours before breakfast. Geebung Villa had terraces to the water’s edge, and they were rich with daphne and camellia bushes. The sun came up through the Heads and stole its way to the Quay, far over the bay. Each of the tiny waves turned to flame, and as the sun rose higher it left pearly tracks across the water. A month would not be long enough to imbibe76 such beauty, and I did not mind a bit that I had no dresses.
Gaddy found me and said that breakfast was nearly ready. He blew his nose like a trumpet77 and turned about and rattled78 both hands in his trousers’ pockets, and looked as if he would displace his eyes, and then blurted79 out, “See here, my sister is having a lot of people tonight. Don’t you let ’em fuss you. Don’t you listen to anything they tell you. You are better than the whole lot of ’em—just as you are.”
I was pleased about the people. I longed for people who would be interested in things that I was interested in, and people living in such circumstances and surroundings must surely be they. I did not expect them to worry me, and I certainly intended to listen to all they said. Why should Gaddy give such a queer warning?
Derek and Edmée were both absent from breakfast. Mrs. Crasterton went up to Derek’s room while Gad telephoned for a cab, and there was a fuss with a cup of coffee in the hall as Derek later bolted for the cab to race to his office. It was entirely80 different behaviour from that of young men in the bush—seemed a little infra dig for masculinity.
I had established such relations with Edmée that I went to her room while she made her toilette. I was impatient to hear of the ball. She and Derek had been the cynosure, just as I thought. She was going to lunch with some girl friends at Potts Point, and her dress congested me with superlatives. It was filmy stuff such as worn by the heroines in the Penny Post, over a bright colour that shimmered81, and a lace petticoat. She lifted the fluffy82 skirts around her ankles in open-work stockings, and she had high-heeled shoes. She had a perfect figure as well as a beautiful face. Her waist was small and her bosom83 full. She had a spreading picture hat of pleated tulle and feathers, and what she called a brolly to match. I revelled84 in her. She said she had a hard bore of a day ahead of her—lunch and two afternoon teas. There was a new man who was mad about her, of whom I panted to hear, but she departed as soon as she was dressed.
Mrs. Crasterton took me in hand for the day. She said I looked so dainty and girlish, and the real bush maid in my little dresses that it would be a pity to spoil the effect with sophisticated clothes; ordinary girls needed clothes. We lunched at Geebung Villa in solemn state. Mrs. Crasterton said that I must guard against any irreverence85 for things that mattered or I would not succeed socially.
As a beginning she recited her pedigree. She had descended86 from a Saxon king. We had a fine pedigree too, containing some moated ruins in Chancery, but Pa always said that a pedigree counted only in stock, as human beings had not sufficient knowledge in eugenics to make it count in themselves yet; that there were too many people living on the reputation of a grandfather while their own works would not bear examination. Pa also held that it was not descent in human breed but ascent87 that counted.
Until initiated88 by Mrs. Crasterton, I had not dreamed that aristocraticness was locally of so much importance.
I knew we had many genuine ladies hidden in remote humpies, while females of feraboracious manners and habits were installed in the mansions89 of Potts Point, where dwells the nucleus90 of our aristocracy yet to be—or to be done away with.
I did not enjoy my lunch. It takes great cooking to equal Ma’s. Mrs. Crasterton directed my admiration to the antique candle-sticks. The age of the cheese had more pungency91. Judged by the normal longevity92 of cheese, it must have been of such antiquity93 as to have earned resurrection. It had become a living thing.
Everything hung fire until the evening when Mrs. Crasterton was to be “At Home” to her friends. We were to dress early, have dinner early, and await SOCIETY. Edmée informed me that Mrs. Crasterton was truly of a fine family, though of course slightly inferior to the Actems.
Even in the bush each family I knew was sure of being a little superior to the others. Perhaps it is to obviate such an absence of classification that the society zoo in England is so strictly graded in steps, with a stud book, so that those listed cannot take more than their share of importance,
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1
pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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effervesced
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| v.冒气泡，起泡沫( effervesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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bails
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| （法庭命令缴付的）保释金( bail的名词复数 )； 三柱门上的横木 | |
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purgatory
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| n.炼狱；苦难；adj.净化的，清洗的 | |
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coastal
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| adj.海岸的，沿海的，沿岸的 | |
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shrubs
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| 灌木( shrub的名词复数 ) | |
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tremors
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| 震颤( tremor的名词复数 )； 战栗； 震颤声； 大地的轻微震动 | |
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weirdly
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| 古怪地 | |
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knights
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| 骑士； （中古时代的）武士( knight的名词复数 )； 骑士； 爵士； （国际象棋中）马 | |
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13
squint
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| v. 使变斜视眼, 斜视, 眯眼看, 偏移, 窥视; n. 斜视, 斜孔小窗; adj. 斜视的, 斜的 | |
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judicial
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| adj.司法的，法庭的，审判的，明断的，公正的 | |
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gad
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| n.闲逛；v.闲逛 | |
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torrents
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| n.倾注；奔流( torrent的名词复数 )；急流；爆发；连续不断 | |
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bustle
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| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
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enchanting
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| a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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labyrinth
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| n.迷宫；难解的事物；迷路 | |
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steer
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| vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶 | |
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quay
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| n.码头，靠岸处 | |
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puffed
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| adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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trickling
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| n.油画底色含油太多而成泡沫状突起v.滴( trickle的现在分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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fleas
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| n.跳蚤( flea的名词复数 )；爱财如命；没好气地（拒绝某人的要求） | |
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creek
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| n.小溪，小河，小湾 | |
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outrage
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| n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒 | |
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28
subscribe
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| vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助 | |
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cant
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| n.斜穿，黑话，猛扔 | |
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enervating
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| v.使衰弱，使失去活力( enervate的现在分词 ) | |
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insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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averred
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| v.断言( aver的过去式和过去分词 )；证实；证明…属实；作为事实提出 | |
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commonwealth
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| n.共和国，联邦，共同体 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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clique
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| n.朋党派系，小集团 | |
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frugal
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| adj.节俭的，节约的，少量的，微量的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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decorative
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| adj.装饰的，可作装饰的 | |
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chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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42
languish
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| vi.变得衰弱无力，失去活力，（植物等）凋萎 | |
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43
clandestine
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| adj.秘密的，暗中从事的 | |
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44
conservatories
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| n.（培植植物的）温室，暖房( conservatory的名词复数 ) | |
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45
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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46
conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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47
humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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48
distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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49
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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50
luscious
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| adj.美味的；芬芳的；肉感的，引与性欲的 | |
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51
abounded
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| v.大量存在，充满，富于( abound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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52
craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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53
importuning
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| v.纠缠，向（某人）不断要求( importune的现在分词 )；（妓女）拉（客） | |
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54
undesirable
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| adj.不受欢迎的，不良的，不合意的，讨厌的；n.不受欢迎的人，不良分子 | |
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55
craved
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| 渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求 | |
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56
affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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58
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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incense
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| v.激怒；n.香，焚香时的烟，香气 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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embodied
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| v.表现( embody的过去式和过去分词 )；象征；包括；包含 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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obtrude
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| v.闯入；侵入；打扰 | |
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virtuoso
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| n.精于某种艺术或乐器的专家，行家里手 | |
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foists
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| 强迫接受，把…强加于( foist的第三人称单数 ) | |
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grumbled
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| 抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声 | |
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prodigy
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| n.惊人的事物，奇迹，神童，天才，预兆 | |
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dissimulating
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| v.掩饰（感情），假装（镇静）( dissimulate的现在分词 ) | |
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enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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flirtatious
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| adj.爱调情的，调情的，卖俏的 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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alluring
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| adj.吸引人的，迷人的 | |
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cynosure
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| n.焦点 | |
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imbibe
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| v.喝，饮；吸入，吸收 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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blurted
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| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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shimmered
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fluffy
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| adj.有绒毛的，空洞的 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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revelled
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| v.作乐( revel的过去式和过去分词 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉 | |
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irreverence
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| n.不尊敬 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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ascent
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| n.(声望或地位)提高；上升，升高；登高 | |
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initiated
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| n. 创始人 adj. 新加入的 vt. 开始，创始，启蒙，介绍加入 | |
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mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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nucleus
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| n.核，核心，原子核 | |
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pungency
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| n.（气味等的）刺激性；辣；（言语等的）辛辣；尖刻 | |
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longevity
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| n.长命；长寿 | |
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antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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