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首页 » 儿童英文小说 » 歪歪小学的荒诞故事 Sideways Stories from Wayside School » Chapter 15
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Chapter 15
This story contains a problem and a solution.

Deedee was a mousey looking kid. Unlike most children at Wayside School, she liked recess better than spelling. As soon as the recess bell rang, she would jump up from her seat and run out the door.

There were big signs in Wayside School on every floor, "NO JUMPING DOWN THE STAIRS."

Deedee never seemed to notice the signs. She jumped down the stairs. Some children took the stairs two at a time. Deedee took them ten at a time. That was on theway down.
60It was funny. She never seemed to be in quite the same hurry on the way back up.
There was another sign at Wayside School, "NO CUTTING ACROSS THE GRASS." Deedee must not ever have seen that one, either. She cut across the grass and ran up to Louis, the yard teacher.

"I want a green ball," Deedee said. The green balls were the best.

"I'm all out of green balls," said Louis.

"Okay, then I want a red ball," said Deedee. The red balls were just about as good as the green balls. They didn't bounce as high, but actually, sometimes you don't want a ball to bounce too high.

"I'm all out of red balls, too," said Louis.

"Do you have anything left?" asked Deedee.

Deedee meant anything besides the yellow ball. There was one yellow ball at Wayside School and Louis was always trying to get rid of it. It didn't bounce, and it never went the way it was kicked.

"Anything at all?" asked Deedee.

"Today is your lucky day," said Louis. "I have one ball left, just for you; the one and only yellow ball!"

"No, thanks," said Deedee.

"Aw, come on, take it," said Louis.

"Why don't you ever have any green or red balls?" asked Deedee.

"I do," said Louis. "But the other children ask first. By the time you get out here, they're all gone."

"But that's because I have to come all the way from the thirtieth story. How do you expect me to compete with the kids from the first or second?" she asked.

"That's why I saved you the yellow ball," saidLouis.
61"Everybody wanted it, but I saved it just for you."
"I bet," said Deedee.

She took the yellow ball and bounced it on the ground. It stopped dead with a thud. She stepped back, ran up, and kicked it. It went backwards over her head. She didn't bother chasing it.

Instead she played hopscotch with Jennie and Leslie. She thought it was disgusting.

The next day, Deedee asked Mrs. Jewls if she could go to recess early.

"Why?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"So I can get a green ball before Louis gives them all away," said Deedee.

"I'm glad you have a good reason," said Mrs. Jewls. "Yes, you may go. But first, spellMississippifor me."

Spelling was not Deedee's best subject. By the time she finally got it right, she was five minutes late for recess.

She jumped down the stairs, cut across the grass, and ran up to Louis. There were no green balls left. There were no red balls left, either. However, there was still the yellow ball.

Deedee played jump rope with Joy and Maurecia. It was no better than hopscotch.

So Deedee's problem was to figure out a way to get a green ball, or at least a red ball.

You already know that this story also contains a solution. Deedee figured it out. See if you can, too. Remember everything you know about Deedee, Wayside School, and Mrs. Jewls.

Hint: The next day, Deedee brought a cream cheeseand jelly sandwich, some nuts, and shredded cheese in her lunchbox.
62Here's what happened.
Just before recess, Deedee smeared the cream cheese and jelly all over her face. Then she stuffed her mouth with nuts and hung the shredded cheese from her nose. When she closed her eyes, she looked just like a dead rat.

Todd was in on the plan. "Mrs. Jewls," he called. "There's a dead rat in the classroom."

Mrs. Jewls was very put out. "I want that dead rat outside immediately!''

When Mrs. Jewls saidimmediately,she meant it. Deedee instantly found herself outside on the playground.

"I want a green ball," she said.

Louis pretended that he hadn't heard her.

"May Ipleasehave a green ball?" asked Deedee.

Louis gave her a green ball. "I don't know how you did it, Deedee, but you're first today," he said.

When Mrs. Jewls found out that Deedee and Todd had tricked her, she sent Todd home early on the kindergarten bus.

Deedee threw the green ball on the ground. It bounced fifty feet straight up in the air, and then she caught it.

"You don't like me, do you?" she asked Louis.

"Sure I do," said Louis.

"No, you don't," said Deedee.

"Yes, I like you," said Louis.

"No, you don't," Deedee insisted.

"Yes, I like you. I really do," said Louis.

"Are you sure?" asked Deedee.
63"Yes," said Louis. "Don't you believe me?" "I guess so," said Deedee. "Do you like me?" asked Louis. "You bet," said Deedee. "You're my best friend!" "Terrific," said Louis. "I always wanted to be best friends with a dead rat."


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