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首页 » 儿童英文小说 » 歪歪小学的荒诞故事 Sideways Stories from Wayside School » Chapter 19
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Chapter 19
Kathy doesn't like you. She doesn't know you, but she still doesn't like you. She thinks you are stupid! In fact, she thinks you are the stupidest person she doesn't know. What do you think of that?

She also thinks you're ugly! As a matter of fact, she thinks you are the ugliest person she doesn't know. And she doesn't know a lot of people.

She doesn't like the people she knows, either. She hates everybody in Mrs. Jewls's class. She did like one member of the class. She liked Sammy. She thought he was funny. Sammy was a dead rat.
76But Kathy has good reasons for not liking any of the children she knows. She doesn't like D.J. because he smiles too much, and she doesn't like John because he can't stand on his head.
Kathy once had a cat named Skunks. She liked Skunks. But she was afraid that Skunks would run away.

"You have nothing to worry about, Kathy," said Mrs. Jewls. "Skunks won't run away. Just be nice to him and feed him and pet him, and he won't run away. He may go out and play, but he'll always come back."

"No, you're wrong, Mrs. Jewls," said Kathy. "What do you know! He'll run away."

So Kathy kept Skunks locked up in her closet at home. She never let him out and sometimes even forgot to feed him.

One day, while Kathy was looking for her other shoe, Skunks ran out of the closet and never came back.

"You said he would come back, Mrs. Jewls," said Kathy. "He never came back. You were wrong. I was right."

That was why Kathy didn't like Mrs. Jewls.

"The next time I get a cat, I'll kill him. Then he'll never run away," said Kathy.

Then there was the time that Dameon tried to teach Kathy how to play catch.

Dameon said, "When I throw you the ball, Kathy, try to catch it."

"I can't catch it," said Kathy. "I'll just get hurt."

"You won't get hurt," Dameon insisted. "Just watch the ball."

He tossed it to her.
77But Kathy knew she'd get hurt. So she closed her eyes. The ball hit her on the cheek. It hurt.
Kathy began to cry. "You were wrong," she sobbed. "I was right!"

That was why Kathy didn't like Dameon.

Allison believed that if you are nice to someone, then they'll be nice to you. So one day she brought Kathy a cookie.

"I don't want your ugly cookie," said Kathy. "It probably tastes terrible!"

Allison said, "No, it is very good. I made it myself."

Kathy said, "If you made it, then it must stink! You can't cook. You're too stupid!" She just put the cookie in her desk along with her pencils, crayons, and books.

Three weeks later, Kathy was hungry. "All right, Allison," she said. "I'll try your stupid cookie." She took it out of her desk. It was covered with dust. She bit it. It was hard and tasted terrible.

"See," said Kathy. "I was right!"

That was why Kathy didn't like Allison.

Yes, Kathy had very good reasons for not liking anybody she knew.

But she also has a good reason for not liking you. And she doesn't even know you. Her reason is this. She knows that if you ever met her, you wouldn't like her. You don't like Kathy, do you?

See, she was right!

It's funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong.


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