19. A Bad Case of the Sillies 愚蠢的反面教材

Allison started up the stairs five minutes before the bell rang for school to start. The stairs were completely empty. Allison liked it that way. When the bell rang, the stairs would be crammed¹ with a thousand screaming kids scurrying² to their rooms, but now it was nice and peaceful.

She walked up past the eighteenth story and toward³ the twentieth. There was no nineteenth story in Wayside School. Miss Zarves taught the class on

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the nineteenth story. There was no Miss Zarves.

Allison didn't understand it. If there was no nineteenth story, then wasn't her class really on the twenty-ninth?

Suddenly she heard footsteps⁴ charging up behind her. She turned around to see Ron and Deedee racing⁵.

She leaned against the wall to get out of their way, but Deedee stamped on her foot; then Ron's elbow jammed her in the stomach.

"Umph!" she grunted⁶, as she fell and rolled down three steps.

Deedee and Ron didn't even stop to say they were sorry.

Allison slowly stood up. Fortunately she wasn't hurt, but her windbreaker was torn.

She thought Ron and Deedee were silly. They race up the stairs, and then when they get to Mrs. Jewls's room they're too pooped to learn anything.

Allison thought all the kids in Mrs. Jewls's class were silly, even Rondi, and Rondi was her best friend. Then there was Jason, who was always pestering⁷ her. That was because Jason hated her. Or else he loved her. Allison wasn't sure which.

When she got to class, Deedee and Ron were sitting with their heads flat on their desks and their tongues hanging out.

"You could have said you were sorry," Allison said

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as she walked past them. She sat up straight in her chair, folded her hands on her desk, and waited as everyone else wandered in.

Jason entered the room carrying a glass bowl with a goldfish swimming inside it. "Look what I brought!" he said.

"What's the name of your goldfish?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"Shark!" said Jason.

Everyone laughed. Allison rolled her eyes.

"It makes him feel important," Jason explained. "Where should I put him?"

"How about on top of the coat closet?" suggested Mrs. Jewls.

Jason had to stand on a chair on his tiptoes. He held the bowl at the very bottom as he tried to nudge it over the edge of the closet.

Suddenly the chair toppled over. "Aaaaaahh-gulp!" yelled⁸ Jason as he fell on the floor. He was holding the bowl upside down above his wet face.

Mrs. Jewls hurried to the back of the room. "Quick, somebody fill the bowl with water," she said. "Where's Shark?"

Jason made a face. "I swallowed him."

The class went crazy.

What a show-off, thought Allison.

Mrs. Jewls rang her cowbell and told everyone to settle down. "You have a bad case of the sillies this morning," she said.

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She took roll. "Who's absent?" she asked.

"Allison," said Rondi.

"Very funny, Rondi," said Allison.

"Anybody besides Allison?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

"I'm here, Mrs. Jewls," said Allison. She sat behind Eric Fry, so she thought Mrs. Jewls couldn't see her. Eric Fry was the biggest kid in the class.

"Just Allison," said Mrs. Jewls. She marked it on her green roll card. "Dameon, will you please take the roll card to the office."

Allison stood up. "I'm not absent," she said.

Dameon took the roll card and walked out the door.

"Mrs. Jewls, did you just mark me absent?" asked Allison.

Mrs. Jewls didn't answer her.

Allison marched to her desk. "Mrs. Jewls, did you mark me absent?" she asked again.

Mrs. Jewls looked up. "Terrence, what are you whispering about?"

"Nothing," mumbled⁹ Terrence.

"If you can say it to Jenny, you can say it to me," said Mrs. Jewls.

"Get off my case, Buzzard Face!" said Terrence.

"Terrence!" exclaimed¹⁰ Mrs. Jewls. "Go write your name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE."

"But that's what I said to Jenny," Terrence protested¹¹.

"Mrs. Jewls, what about me?" Allison demanded.

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Mrs. Jewls ignored her.

Allison screamed as loud as she could.

Mrs. Jewls didn't hear her.

Allison faced the class. "Can't anybody see me?" she asked.

Nobody answered her.

"Rondi?" shouted Allison. "Dana? Jason?"

"This isn't funny," said Allison. "I know you're all just pretending." She stood right in front of Jason, leaned over his desk, and stared him straight in the eye. "I know you can see me," she said. "You're trying not to laugh."

He stared right through her.

She stuck out her tongue at him.

He leaned forward, causing Allison's tongue to lick¹² his nose.

"Yuck!" she exclaimed, then wiped her tongue on her sleeve.

Mrs. Jewls began the morning lesson.

"Have you gone crazy?" shouted Allison. She ran out of the room and down to the class on the twenty-ninth story. "Come quick," she said. "There's something wrong with Mrs. Jewls's class."

No one heard her.

She slammed¹³ the door, then continued down the stairs to the class on the twenty-eighth floor. No one saw her there, either.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Is the whole

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school playing a joke on me? she wondered. "It's not funny!" she shouted as loud as she could.

She continued down the stairs, screaming anything that came to her head, hoping that someone, somewhere, would notice her.

"Fish for sale! Fresh fish! Fat fish! Get your fresh, fat fish!"

A tall, skinny lady with very short hair stepped out of one of the classrooms. "Sh!" she whispered. "This is a school, not a fish market!"

"You can hear me?" asked Allison. She was so happy, she wanted to hug her.

"Yes, I can hear you," the woman said sternly¹⁴. "My whole class can hear you. You're making it impossible for us to get any work done."

"I'm sorry," said Allison. "But something's wrong in Mrs. Jewls's class."

"You'd better come in here," said the teacher.

Allison followed the teacher into her classroom.

"What's your name?" the teacher asked her.

"Allison."

"Boys and girls, this is Allison," the teacher announced to her students. "She'll be joining our class."

"What?" said Allison. "But-"

"My name is Miss Zarves," said the teacher. "Welcome to the nineteenth story."

1 crammed   

adj.塞满的，挤满的；大口地吃；快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满；填入；临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式)

参考例句：

• He crammed eight people into his car. 他往他的车里硬塞进八个人。
• All the shelves were crammed with books. 所有的架子上都堆满了书。

2 scurrying   

v.急匆匆地走( scurry的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• We could hear the mice scurrying about in the walls. 我们能听见老鼠在墙里乱跑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• We were scurrying about until the last minute before the party. 聚会开始前我们一直不停地忙忙碌碌。 来自辞典例句

3 toward   

prep.对于，关于，接近，将近，向，朝

参考例句：

• Suddenly I saw a tall figure approaching toward the policeman.突然间我看到一个高大的身影朝警察靠近。
• Upon seeing her,I smiled and ran toward her. 看到她我笑了，并跑了过去。

4 footsteps   

n.脚步（声），一步的距离，足迹；脚步（声）( footstep的名词复数 )；一步的距离；足迹

参考例句：

• the sound of footsteps on the stairs 楼梯上的脚步声
• Their footsteps echoed in the silence. 他们的脚步声在一片寂静中回荡着。

5 racing   

n.竞赛，赛马；adj.竞赛用的，赛马用的

参考例句：

• I was watching the racing on television last night.昨晚我在电视上看赛马。
• The two racing drivers fenced for a chance to gain the lead.两个赛车手伺机竞相领先。

6 grunted   

（猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说

参考例句：

• She just grunted, not deigning to look up from the page. 她只咕哝了一声，继续看书，不屑抬起头来看一眼。
• She grunted some incomprehensible reply. 她咕噜着回答了些令人费解的话。

7 pestering   

使烦恼，纠缠( pester的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He's always pestering me to help him with his homework. 他总是泡蘑菇要我帮他做作业。
• I'm telling you once and for all, if you don't stop pestering me you'll be sorry. 我这是最后一次警告你。如果你不停止纠缠我，你将来会后悔的。

8 yelled   

v.叫喊，号叫，叫着说( yell的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He yelled at the other driver. 他冲着另一位司机大叫。
• The lost man yelled, hoping someone in the woods would hear him. 迷路的人大声喊着，希望林子里的人会听见。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 mumbled   

含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He mumbled something to me which I did not quite catch. 他对我叽咕了几句话，可我没太听清楚。
• George mumbled incoherently to himself. 乔治语无伦次地喃喃自语。

10 exclaimed   

vt.exclaim的过去式v.呼喊，惊叫，大声说( exclaim的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• "We have a good chance of winning," he exclaimed optimistically. “我们很可能获胜。”他乐观地喊道。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She exclaimed in delight when she saw the presents. 她见到礼品高兴得叫了起来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 protested   

v.声明( protest的过去式和过去分词 )；坚决地表示；申辩

参考例句：

• He protested he was being cheated of his rightful share. 他提出抗议说他被人骗取了他依法应得的份额。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Amy protested she was being cheated of her rightful share. 艾米提出抗议，说有人骗取了她依法应得的份额。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 lick   

vt.舔（吃），打败，轻拍，吞卷；n.舔，少许

参考例句：

• I think we could lick the best teams there.我想我们能打败那儿最好的队。
• The house would look better with a lick of paint.这房子稍加颜色就好看了。

13 slammed   

v.砰地关上（门或窗）( slam的过去式和过去分词 )；用力一放；使劲一推；猛劲一摔

参考例句：

• He slammed on the brakes and the car juddered to a halt. 他猛踩刹车，汽车在剧烈震动中停下来。
• He walked out of the room and slammed the door. 他走出房间，猛地关上了房门。

14 sternly   

adv.严厉地；严肃地

参考例句：

• The chair sternly rebuked the audience for their laughter.主席厉声斥责听众哄笑。
• Her husband looked at her sternly.她丈夫严厉地看着她。