Then his valet brought him a cup of chocolate on a tray. After he had drunk it, he drew aside a heavy portière of peach-coloured plush, and passed into the bathroom. The light stole softly from above, through thin slabs4 of transparent5 onyx, and the water in the marble tank glimmered7 like a moonstone. He plunged9 hastily in, till the cool ripples10 touched throat and hair, and then dipped his head right under, as though he would have wiped away the stain of some shameful11 memory. When he stepped out he felt almost at peace. The exquisite12 physical conditions of the moment had dominated him, as indeed often happens in the case of very finely-wrought natures, for the senses, like fire, can purify as well as destroy.
After breakfast, he flung himself down on a divan13, and lit a cigarette. On the mantel-shelf, framed in dainty old brocade, stood a large photograph of Sybil Merton, as he had seen her first at Lady Noel’s ball. The small, exquisitely-shaped head drooped14 slightly to one side, as though the thin, reed-like throat could hardly bear the burden of so much beauty; the lips were slightly parted, and seemed made for sweet music; and all the tender purity of girlhood looked out in wonder from the dreaming eyes. With her soft, clinging dress of crêpe-de-chine, and her large leaf-shaped fan, she looked like one of those delicate little figures men find in the olive-woods near Tanagra; and there was a touch of Greek grace in her pose and attitude. Yet she was not petite. She was simply perfectly15 proportioned—a rare thing in an age when so many women are either over life-size or insignificant16.
Now as Lord Arthur looked at her, he was filled with the terrible pity that is born of love. He felt that to marry her, with the doom17 of murder hanging over his head, would be a betrayal like that of Judas, a sin worse than any the Borgia had ever dreamed of. What happiness could there be for them, when at any moment he might be called upon to carry out the awful prophecy written in his hand? What manner of life would be theirs while Fate still held this fearful fortune in the scales? The marriage must be postponed18, at all costs. Of this he was quite resolved. Ardently though he loved the girl, and the mere8 touch of her fingers, when they sat together, made each nerve of his body thrill with exquisite joy, he recognised none the less clearly where his duty lay, and was fully19 conscious of the fact that he had no right to marry until he had committed the murder. This done, he could stand before the altar with Sybil Merton, and give his life into her hands without terror of wrongdoing. This done, he could take her to his arms, knowing that she would never have to blush for him, never have to hang her head in shame. But done it must be first; and the sooner the better for both.
Many men in his position would have preferred the primrose20 path of dalliance to the steep heights of duty; but Lord Arthur was too conscientious21 to set pleasure above principle. There was more than mere passion in his love; and Sybil was to him a symbol of all that is good and noble. For a moment he had a natural repugnance22 against what he was asked to do, but it soon passed away. His heart told him that it was not a sin, but a sacrifice; his reason reminded him that there was no other course open. He had to choose between living for himself and living for others, and terrible though the task laid upon him undoubtedly23 was, yet he knew that he must not suffer selfishness to triumph over love. Sooner or later we are all called upon to decide on the same issue—of us all, the same question is asked. To Lord Arthur it came early in life—before his nature had been spoiled by the calculating cynicism of middle-age, or his heart corroded24 by the shallow, fashionable egotism of our day, and he felt no hesitation25 about doing his duty. Fortunately also, for him, he was no mere dreamer, or idle dilettante26. Had he been so, he would have hesitated, like Hamlet, and let irresolution27 mar6 his purpose. But he was essentially28 practical. Life to him meant action, rather than thought. He had that rarest of all things, common sense.
The wild, turbid29 feelings of the previous night had by this time completely passed away, and it was almost with a sense of shame that he looked back upon his mad wanderings from street to street, his fierce emotional agony. The very sincerity30 of his sufferings made them seem unreal to him now. He wondered how he could have been so foolish as to rant31 and rave3 about the inevitable32. The only question that seemed to trouble him was, whom to make away with; for he was not blind to the fact that murder, like the religions of the Pagan world, requires a victim as well as a priest. Not being a genius, he had no enemies, and indeed he felt that this was not the time for the gratification of any personal pique33 or dislike, the mission in which he was engaged being one of great and grave solemnity. He accordingly made out a list of his friends and relatives on a sheet of notepaper, and after careful consideration, decided34 in favour of Lady Clementina Beauchamp, a dear old lady who lived in Curzon Street, and was his own second cousin by his mother’s side. He had always been very fond of Lady Clem, as every one called her, and as he was very wealthy himself, having come into all Lord Rugby’s property when he came of age, there was no possibility of his deriving35 any vulgar monetary36 advantage by her death. In fact, the more he thought over the matter, the more she seemed to him to be just the right person, and, feeling that any delay would be unfair to Sybil, he determined37 to make his arrangements at once.
The first thing to be done was, of course, to settle with the cheiromantist; so he sat down at a small Sheraton writing-table that stood near the window, drew a cheque for ￡105, payable38 to the order of Mr. Septimus Podgers, and, enclosing it in an envelope, told his valet to take it to West Moon Street. He then telephoned to the stables for his hansom, and dressed to go out. As he was leaving the room he looked back at Sybil Merton’s photograph, and swore that, come what may, he would never let her know what he was doing for her sake, but would keep the secret of his self-sacrifice hidden always in his heart.
On his way to the Buckingham, he stopped at a florist’s, and sent Sybil a beautiful basket of narcissus, with lovely white petals39 and staring pheasants’ eyes, and on arriving at the club, went straight to the library, rang the bell, and ordered the waiter to bring him a lemon-and-soda, and a book on Toxicology. He had fully decided that poison was the best means to adopt in this troublesome business. Anything like personal violence was extremely distasteful to him, and besides, he was very anxious not to murder Lady Clementina in any way that might attract public attention, as he hated the idea of being lionised at Lady Windermere’s, or seeing his name figuring in the paragraphs of vulgar society—newspapers. He had also to think of Sybil’s father and mother, who were rather old-fashioned people, and might possibly object to the marriage if there was anything like a scandal, though he felt certain that if he told them the whole facts of the case they would be the very first to appreciate the motives40 that had actuated him. He had every reason, then, to decide in favour of poison. It was safe, sure, and quiet, and did away with any necessity for painful scenes, to which, like most Englishmen, he had a rooted objection.
Of the science of poisons, however, he knew absolutely nothing, and as the waiter seemed quite unable to find anything in the library but Ruff’s Guide and Bailey’s Magazine, he examined the book-shelves himself, and finally came across a handsomely-bound edition of the Pharmacopoeia, and a copy of Erskine’s Toxicology, edited by Sir Mathew Reid, the President of the Royal College of Physicians, and one of the oldest members of the Buckingham, having been elected in mistake for somebody else; a contretemps that so enraged41 the Committee, that when the real man came up they black-balled him unanimously. Lord Arthur was a good deal puzzled at the technical terms used in both books, and had begun to regret that he had not paid more attention to his classics at Oxford42, when in the second volume of Erskine, he found a very interesting and complete account of the properties of aconitine, written in fairly clear English. It seemed to him to be exactly the poison he wanted. It was swift—indeed, almost immediate43, in its effect—perfectly painless, and when taken in the form of a gelatine capsule, the mode recommended by Sir Mathew, not by any means unpalatable. He accordingly made a note, upon his shirt-cuff, of the amount necessary for a fatal dose, put the books back in their places, and strolled up St. James’s Street, to Pestle44 and Humbey’s, the great chemists. Mr. Pestle, who always attended personally on the aristocracy, was a good deal surprised at the order, and in a very deferential45 manner murmured something about a medical certificate being necessary. However, as soon as Lord Arthur explained to him that it was for a large Norwegian mastiff that he was obliged to get rid of, as it showed signs of incipient46 rabies, and had already bitten the coachman twice in the calf47 of the leg, he expressed himself as being perfectly satisfied, complimented Lord Arthur on his wonderful knowledge of Toxicology, and had the prescription48 made up immediately.
Lord Arthur put the capsule into a pretty little silver bonbonnière that he saw in a shop window in Bond Street, threw away Pestle and Hambey’s ugly pill-box, and drove off at once to Lady Clementina’s.
‘Well, monsieur le mauvais sujet,’ cried the old lady, as he entered the room, ‘why haven’t you been to see me all this time?’
‘My dear Lady Clem, I never have a moment to myself,’ said Lord Arthur, smiling.
‘I suppose you mean that you go about all day long with Miss Sybil Merton, buying chiffons and talking nonsense? I cannot understand why people make such a fuss about being married. In my day we never dreamed of billing and cooing in public, or in private for that matter.’
‘I assure you I have not seen Sybil for twenty-four hours, Lady Clem. As far as I can make out, she belongs entirely50 to her milliners.’
‘Of course; that is the only reason you come to see an ugly old woman like myself. I wonder you men don’t take warning. On a fait des folies pour moi, and here I am, a poor rheumatic creature, with a false front and a bad temper. Why, if it were not for dear Lady Jansen, who sends me all the worst French novels she can find, I don’t think I could get through the day. Doctors are no use at all, except to get fees out of one. They can’t even cure my heartburn.’
‘I have brought you a cure for that, Lady Clem,’ said Lord Arthur gravely. ‘It is a wonderful thing, invented by an American.’
‘I don’t think I like American inventions, Arthur. I am quite sure I don’t. I read some American novels lately, and they were quite nonsensical.’
‘Oh, but there is no nonsense at all about this, Lady Clem! I assure you it is a perfect cure. You must promise to try it’; and Lord Arthur brought the little box out of his pocket, and handed it to her.
‘Well, the box is charming, Arthur. Is it really a present? That is very sweet of you. And is this the wonderful medicine? It looks like a bonbon49. I’ll take it at once.’
‘Good heavens! Lady Clem,’ cried Lord Arthur, catching51 hold of her hand, ‘you mustn’t do anything of the kind. It is a homoeopathic medicine, and if you take it without having heartburn, it might do you no end of harm. Wait till you have an attack, and take it then. You will be astonished at the result.’
‘I should like to take it now,’ said Lady Clementina, holding up to the light the little transparent capsule, with its floating bubble of liquid aconitine. I am sure it is delicious. The fact is that, though I hate doctors, I love medicines. However, I’ll keep it till my next attack.’
‘And when will that be?’ asked Lord Arthur eagerly. ‘Will it be soon?’
‘I hope not for a week. I had a very bad time yesterday morning with it. But one never knows.’
‘You are sure to have one before the end of the month then, Lady Clem?’
‘I am afraid so. But how sympathetic you are to-day, Arthur! Really, Sybil has done you a great deal of good. And now you must run away, for I am dining with some very dull people, who won’t talk scandal, and I know that if I don’t get my sleep now I shall never be able to keep awake during dinner. Good-bye, Arthur, give my love to Sybil, and thank you so much for the American medicine.’
‘You won’t forget to take it, Lady Clem, will you?’ said Lord Arthur, rising from his seat.
‘Of course I won’t, you silly boy. I think it is most kind of you to think of me, and I shall write and tell you if I want any more.’
Lord Arthur left the house in high spirits, and with a feeling of immense relief.
That night he had an interview with Sybil Merton. He told her how he had been suddenly placed in a position of terrible difficulty, from which neither honour nor duty would allow him to recede52. He told her that the marriage must be put off for the present, as until he had got rid of his fearful entanglements53, he was not a free man. He implored54 her to trust him, and not to have any doubts about the future. Everything would come right, but patience was necessary.
The scene took place in the conservatory55 of Mr. Merton’s house, in Park Lane, where Lord Arthur had dined as usual. Sybil had never seemed more happy, and for a moment Lord Arthur had been tempted56 to play the coward’s part, to write to Lady Clementina for the pill, and to let the marriage go on as if there was no such person as Mr. Podgers in the world. His better nature, however, soon asserted itself, and even when Sybil flung herself weeping into his arms, he did not falter57. The beauty that stirred his senses had touched his conscience also. He felt that to wreck58 so fair a life for the sake of a few months’ pleasure would be a wrong thing to do.
He stayed with Sybil till nearly midnight, comforting her and being comforted in turn, and early the next morning he left for Venice, after writing a manly59, firm letter to Mr. Merton about the necessary postponement60 of the marriage.
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1
haze
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| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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flickering
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| adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的 | |
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rave
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| vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬 | |
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slabs
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| n.厚板，平板，厚片( slab的名词复数 )；厚胶片 | |
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transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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mar
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| vt.破坏，毁坏，弄糟 | |
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glimmered
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| v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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ripples
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| 逐渐扩散的感觉( ripple的名词复数 ) | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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13
divan
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| n.长沙发；（波斯或其他东方诗人的）诗集 | |
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14
drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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18
postponed
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| vt.& vi.延期，缓办，（使）延迟vt.把…放在次要地位；[语]把…放在后面（或句尾）vi.（疟疾等）延缓发作（或复发） | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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primrose
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| n.樱草，最佳部分， | |
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21
conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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24
corroded
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| 已被腐蚀的 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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dilettante
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| n.半瓶醋，业余爱好者 | |
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irresolution
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| n.不决断，优柔寡断，犹豫不定 | |
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essentially
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| adv.本质上，实质上，基本上 | |
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turbid
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| adj.混浊的，泥水的，浓的 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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31
rant
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| v.咆哮；怒吼；n.大话；粗野的话 | |
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32
inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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34
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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35
deriving
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| v.得到( derive的现在分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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36
monetary
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| adj.货币的，钱的；通货的；金融的；财政的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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payable
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| adj.可付的，应付的，有利益的 | |
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petals
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| n.花瓣( petal的名词复数 ) | |
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40
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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41
enraged
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| 使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤 | |
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42
Oxford
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| n.牛津（英国城市） | |
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43
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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44
pestle
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| n.杵 | |
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45
deferential
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| adj. 敬意的，恭敬的 | |
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46
incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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47
calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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48
prescription
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| n.处方，开药；指示，规定 | |
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49
bonbon
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| n.棒棒糖；夹心糖 | |
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50
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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51
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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52
recede
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| vi.退(去)，渐渐远去；向后倾斜，缩进 | |
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53
entanglements
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| n.瓜葛( entanglement的名词复数 )；牵连；纠缠；缠住 | |
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54
implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55
conservatory
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| n.温室，音乐学院；adj.保存性的，有保存力的 | |
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56
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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57
falter
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| vi.(嗓音)颤抖，结巴地说；犹豫；蹒跚 | |
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58
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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59
manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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60
postponement
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| n.推迟 | |
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