CHAPTER VI — THE TWO OLD MAIDS

 "He's the meanest man I ever saw," thought Andy. "Does he think I work on nothing a year, and find myself? Divil a bit of work will I do for him agin, if I know it." But better luck was in store for Andy. Quarter of a mile farther on, in a two-story house, old-fashioned but neat, lived two maiden¹ ladies of very uncertain age, Misses Priscilla and Sophia Grant. I am not aware that any relationship existed between them and our distinguished² ex-President. Nevertheless, they were of very respectable family and connections, and of independent property, owning bank stock which brought them in an annual income of about twelve hundred dollars, in addition to the house they occupied, and half a dozen acres of land thereunto pertaining³. Now, this was not a colossal⁴ fortune, but in a country place like Crampton it made them ladies of large property.

 

Priscilla was the elder of the two, and general manager. Sophia contented⁵ herself with being the echo of her stronger-minded sister, and was very apt to assent⁶ to her remarks, either by repeating them, or by saying: "Just so." She was a mild, inoffensive creature, but very charitable and amiable⁷, and so little given to opposition⁸ that there was always the greatest harmony between them. They kept a gardener and out-of-door servant of all work, who cultivated the land, sawed and split their wood, ran of errands, and made himself generally useful. He had one drawback, unfortunately. He would occasionally indulge to excess in certain fiery⁹ alcoholic¹⁰ compounds sold at the village tavern¹¹, and, as natural consequence, get drunk. He had usually the good sense to keep out of the way while under the influence of liquor, and hitherto the good ladies had borne with and retained him in their employ.

 

But a crisis had arrived. That morning he had come for orders while inebriated¹², and in his drunken folly¹³ had actually gone so far as to call Miss Priscilla darling and offer to kiss her.

 

Miss Priscilla was, of course, horrified¹⁴, and so expressed herself.

 

"Law, Sophia," she said, "I came near fainting away. The idea of his offering to kiss me."

 

"Just so," said Sophia.

 

"So presuming."

 

"Just so."

 

"Of course, I couldn't think of employing him any longer."

 

"Couldn't think of it."

 

"He might have asked to kiss me again."

 

"Just so."

 

"Or you!"

 

"Just so," said Sophia, in some excitement of manner.

 

"The neighbors would talk."

 

"Just so."

 

"So I told him that I was very sorry, but it would be necessary for him to find work somewhere else."

 

"But who will do our work?" inquired Sophia, with a rare, original suggestion.

 

"We must get somebody else."

 

"So we must," acquiesced¹⁵ Sophia, as if she had suddenly received light on a very dark subject.

 

"But I don't know who we can get."

 

"Just so."

 

At that moment there was a knock at the door. Priscilla answered it in person. They kept no domestic servant, only a gardener.

 

"I've brought the load of wood you ordered, ma'am," said the teamster. "Where shall I put it?"

 

"In the backyard. John—no, John has left us. I will show you, myself."

 

She put on a cape-bonnet and indicated the place in the yard where she wanted the wood dumped.

 

Then she returned to the house.

 

"It's very awkward that John should have acted so," she said, in a tone of annoyance¹⁶. "I don't know who is to saw and split that wood."

 

"We couldn't do it," said Sophia, with another original suggestion.

 

"Of course not. That would be perfectly¹⁷ absurd."

 

"Just so."

 

"I don't believe there is enough wood sawed and split to last through the day."

 

"We must have some split."

 

"Of course. But I really don't know of anyone in the neighborhood that we could get."

 

"John."

 

"John has gone away. You know why."

 

"Perhaps he wouldn't kiss us if we told him not to," suggested Sophia.

 

"I am afraid you are a goose," said Priscilla, composedly.

 

"Just so," slipped out of Sophia's mouth from force of habit, but her sister was so used to hearing it that she took no particular notice of it on the present occasion.

 

It was just at this time that Andy, released from his severe and unrequited labor¹⁸ for Deacon Jones, came by. He saw the wood being unloaded in the back yard, and an idea struck him.

 

"Maybe I can get the chance of sawin' and splittin' that wood. I'll try, anyway. I wonder who lives there?"

 

He immediately opened the front gate, and marching up to the front door, knocked vigorously.

 

"There's somebody at the door," said Sophia.

 

"Perhaps it's John come back," said Priscilla. "I am afraid of going to open it. He might want to kiss me again."

 

"I'll go," said Sophia, rising with unwonted alacrity¹⁹.

 

"He might want to kiss you."

 

"I'll tell him not to."

 

"We'll both go," said Priscilla, decisively.

 

Accordingly, the two sisters, for mutual²⁰ protection, both went to the door, and opened it guardedly. Their courage returned when they saw that it was only a boy.

 

"What do you want?" asked Priscilla.

 

"Just so," chimed in Sophia.

 

"You've got a load of wood in the back yard," commenced Andy.

 

"Just so," said Sophia.

 

"Do you want it sawed and split?"

 

"Just so," answered the younger sister, brightening up.

 

"Can you do it?" inquired Priscilla.

 

"Try me and see," answered Andy.

 

"You're not a man."

 

"Just so," chimed in her sister.

 

"Faith, and I soon will be," said Andy. "I can saw and split wood as well as any man you ever saw."

 

"What is your name?"

 

"Andy Burke."

 

"Are you a—Hibernian?" inquired Priscilla.

 

"I don't know what you mane by that same," said Andy, perplexed²¹.

 

"To what nation do you belong?"

 

"Oh, that's what you want, ma'am. I'm only an Irish boy."

 

"And you say your name is Burke?"

 

"Yes, ma'am."

 

"Are you related to Burke, the great orator²²? He was an Irishman, I believe."

 

"Just so," said Sophia.

 

"He was my great-grandfather, ma'am," answered Andy, who had never heard of the eminent²³ orator, but thought the claim would improve his chances of obtaining the job of sawing and splitting wood.

 

"Your great-grandfather!" exclaimed Priscilla, in astonishment²⁴. "Really, this is most extraordinary. And you are poor?"

 

"If I wasn't I wouldn't be goin' round sawin' wood, ma'am."

 

"Just so," said Sophia.

 

"To think that the grandson of the great Burke should come to us for employment," said Priscilla, who was in some respects easily taken in. "I think we must hire him, Sophia."

 

"Just so."

 

"Perhaps he could take John's place altogether."

 

"Just so."

 

"I must find out whether he understands gardening."

 

"Just so."

 

Andy stood by, waiting patiently for the decision, and hoping that it might be favorable. Of course, it was wrong for him to tell a lie, but he thought his engagement depended upon it, and, although a very good boy in the main, he was not altogether perfect, as my readers are destined²⁵ to find out.

1 maiden   

n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的

参考例句：

• The prince fell in love with a fair young maiden.王子爱上了一位年轻美丽的少女。
• The aircraft makes its maiden flight tomorrow.这架飞机明天首航。

2 distinguished   

adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的

参考例句：

• Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
• A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。

3 pertaining   

与…有关系的，附属…的，为…固有的(to)

参考例句：

• Living conditions are vastly different from those pertaining in their country of origin. 生活条件与他们祖国大不相同。
• The inspector was interested in everything pertaining to the school. 视察员对有关学校的一切都感兴趣。

4 colossal   

adj.异常的，庞大的

参考例句：

• There has been a colossal waste of public money.一直存在巨大的公款浪费。
• Some of the tall buildings in that city are colossal.那座城市里的一些高层建筑很庞大。

5 contented   

adj.满意的，安心的，知足的

参考例句：

• He won't be contented until he's upset everyone in the office.不把办公室里的每个人弄得心烦意乱他就不会满足。
• The people are making a good living and are contented,each in his station.人民安居乐业。

6 assent   

v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可

参考例句：

• I cannot assent to what you ask.我不能应允你的要求。
• The new bill passed by Parliament has received Royal Assent.议会所通过的新方案已获国王批准。

7 amiable   

adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的

参考例句：

• She was a very kind and amiable old woman.她是个善良和气的老太太。
• We have a very amiable companionship.我们之间存在一种友好的关系。

8 opposition   

n.反对，敌对

参考例句：

• The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
• The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。

9 fiery   

adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的

参考例句：

• She has fiery red hair.她有一头火红的头发。
• His fiery speech agitated the crowd.他热情洋溢的讲话激动了群众。

10 alcoholic   

adj.（含）酒精的，由酒精引起的；n.酗酒者

参考例句：

• The alcoholic strength of brandy far exceeds that of wine.白兰地的酒精浓度远远超过葡萄酒。
• Alcoholic drinks act as a poison to a child.酒精饮料对小孩犹如毒药。

11 tavern   

n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店

参考例句：

• There is a tavern at the corner of the street.街道的拐角处有一家酒馆。
• Philip always went to the tavern,with a sense of pleasure.菲利浦总是心情愉快地来到这家酒菜馆。

12 inebriated   

adj.酒醉的

参考例句：

• He was inebriated by his phenomenal success. 他陶醉于他显赫的成功。 来自互联网
• Drunken driver(a driver who is inebriated). 喝醉了的司机（醉酒的司机） 来自互联网

13 folly   

n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话

参考例句：

• Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
• Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。

14 horrified   

a.(表现出)恐惧的

参考例句：

• The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
• We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。

15 acquiesced   

v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Senior government figures must have acquiesced in the cover-up. 政府高级官员必然已经默许掩盖真相。
• After a lot of persuasion,he finally acquiesced. 经过多次劝说，他最终默许了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 annoyance   

n.恼怒，生气，烦恼

参考例句：

• Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？
• I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。

17 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

18 labor   

n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦

参考例句：

• We are never late in satisfying him for his labor.我们从不延误付给他劳动报酬。
• He was completely spent after two weeks of hard labor.艰苦劳动两周后，他已经疲惫不堪了。

19 alacrity   

n.敏捷，轻快，乐意

参考例句：

• Although the man was very old,he still moved with alacrity.他虽然很老，动作仍很敏捷。
• He accepted my invitation with alacrity.他欣然接受我的邀请。

20 mutual   

adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的

参考例句：

• We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
• Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。

21 perplexed   

adj.不知所措的

参考例句：

• The farmer felt the cow,went away,returned,sorely perplexed,always afraid of being cheated.那农民摸摸那头牛，走了又回来，犹豫不决，总怕上当受骗。
• The child was perplexed by the intricate plot of the story.这孩子被那头绪纷繁的故事弄得迷惑不解。

22 orator   

n.演说者，演讲者，雄辩家

参考例句：

• He was so eloquent that he cut down the finest orator.他能言善辩，胜过最好的演说家。
• The orator gestured vigorously while speaking.这位演讲者讲话时用力地做手势。

23 eminent   

adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的

参考例句：

• We are expecting the arrival of an eminent scientist.我们正期待一位著名科学家的来访。
• He is an eminent citizen of China.他是一个杰出的中国公民。

24 astonishment   

n.惊奇，惊异

参考例句：

• They heard him give a loud shout of astonishment.他们听见他惊奇地大叫一声。
• I was filled with astonishment at her strange action.我对她的奇怪举动不胜惊异。

25 destined   

adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的

参考例句：

• It was destined that they would marry.他们结婚是缘分。
• The shipment is destined for America.这批货物将运往美国。