Mrs. Mudge was in a bad humor that morning. One of the cows had got into the garden through a gap in the fence, and made sad havoc3 among the cabbages. Now if Mrs. Mudge had a weakness, it was for cabbages. She was excessively fond of them, and had persuaded her husband to set out a large number of plants from which she expected a large crop. They were planted in one corner of the garden, adjoining a piece of land, which, since mowing4, had been used for pasturing the cows. There was a weak place in the fence separating the two inclosures, and this Mrs. Mudge had requested her husband to attend to. He readily promised this, and Mrs. Mudge supposed it done, until that same morning, her sharp eyes had detected old Brindle munching5 the treasured cabbages with a provoking air of enjoyment6. The angry lady seized a broom, and repaired quickly to the scene of devastation7. Brindle scented8 the danger from afar, and beat a disorderly retreat, trampling9 down the cabbages which she had hitherto spared. Leaping over the broken fence, she had just cleared the gap as the broom-handle, missing her, came forcibly down upon the rail, and was snapped in sunder10 by the blow.
Here was a new vexation. Brindle had not only escaped scot-free, but the broom, a new one, bought only the week before, was broken.
“It's a plaguy shame,” said Mrs. Mudge, angrily. “There's my best broom broken; cost forty-two cents only last week.”
“At least thirty cabbages destroyed by that scamp of a cow,” she exclaimed in a tone bordering on despair. “I wish I'd a hit her. If I'd broken my broom over her back I wouldn't a cared so much. And it's all Mudge's fault. He's the most shiftless man I ever see. I'll give him a dressing13 down, see if I don't.”
Mrs. Mudge's eyes snapped viciously, and she clutched the relics14 of the broom with a degree of energy which rendered it uncertain what sort of a dressing down she intended for her husband.
Ten minutes after she had re-entered the kitchen, the luckless man made his appearance. He wore his usual look, little dreaming of the storm that awaited him.
“I'm glad you've come,” said Mrs. Mudge, grimly.
“What's amiss, now?” inquired Mudge, for he understood her look.
“What's amiss?” blazed Mrs. Mudge. “I'll let you know. Do you see this?”
She seized the broken broom and flourished it in his face.
“Broken your broom, have you? You must have been careless.”
“Careless, was I?” demanded Mrs. Mudge, sarcastically15. “Yes, of course, it's always I that am in fault.”
“You haven't broken it over the back of any of the paupers16, have you?” asked her husband, who, knowing his helpmeet's infirmity of temper, thought it possible she might have indulged in such an amusement.
“If I had broken it over anybody's back it would have been yours,” said the lady.
“Mine! what have I been doing?”
“It's what you haven't done,” said Mrs. Mudge. “You're about the laziest and most shiftless man I ever came across.”
“Come, what does all this mean?” demanded Mr. Mudge, who was getting a little angry in his turn.
“I'll let you know. Just look out of that window, will you?”
“Well,” said Mr. Mudge, innocently, “I don't see anything in particular.”
“You don't!” said Mrs. Mudge with withering17 sarcasm18. “Then you'd better put on your glasses. If you'd been here quarter of an hour ago, you'd have seen Brindle among the cabbages.”
“Did she do any harm?” asked Mr. Mudge, hastily.
“If you had mended that fence, as I told you to do, time and again, it wouldn't have happened.”
“You didn't tell me but once,” said Mr. Mudge, trying to get up a feeble defence.
“Once should have been enough, and more than enough. You expect me to slave myself to death in the house, and see to all your work besides. If I'd known what a lazy, shiftless man you were, at the time I married you, I'd have cut off my right hand first.”
By this time Mr. Mudge had become angry.
“If you hadn't married me, you'd a died an old maid,” he retorted.
This was too much for Mrs. Mudge to bear. She snatched the larger half of the broom, and fetched it down with considerable emphasis upon the back of her liege lord, who, perceiving that her temper was up, retreated hastily from the kitchen; as he got into the yard he descried20 Brindle, whose appetite had been whetted21 by her previous raid, re-entering the garden through the gap.
It was an unfortunate attempt on the part of Brindle. Mr. Mudge, angry with his wife, and smarting with the blow from the broomstick, determined22 to avenge23 himself upon the original cause of all the trouble. Revenge suggested craft. He seized a hoe, and crept stealthily to the cabbage-plot. Brindle, whose back was turned, did not perceive his approach, until she felt a shower of blows upon her back. Confused at the unexpected attack she darted24 wildly away, forgetting the gap in the fence, and raced at random25 over beds of vegetables, uprooting26 beets27, parsnips, and turnips28, while Mr. Mudge, mad with rage, followed close in her tracks, hitting her with the hoe whenever he got a chance.
Brindle galloped29 through the yard, and out at the open gate. Thence she ran up the road at the top of her speed, with Mr. Mudge still pursuing her.
It may be mentioned here that Mr. Mudge was compelled to chase the terrified cow over two miles before he succeeded with the help of a neighbor in capturing her. All this took time. Meanwhile Mrs. Mudge at home was subjected to yet another trial of her temper.
It has already been mentioned that Squire30 Newcome was Chairman of the Overseers of the Poor. In virtue31 of his office, he was expected to exercise a general supervision32 over the Almshouse and its management. It was his custom to call about once a month to look after matters, and ascertain33 whether any official action or interference was needed.
Ben saw his father take his gold-headed cane34 from behind the door, and start down the road. He understood his destination, and instantly the plan of a stupendous practical joke dawned upon him.
“It'll be jolly fun,” he said to himself, his eyes dancing with fun. “I'll try it, anyway.”
He took his way across the fields, so as to reach the Almshouse before his father. He then commenced his plan of operations.
Mrs. Mudge had returned to her tub, and was washing away with bitter energy, thinking over her grievances35 in the matter of Mr. Mudge, when a knock was heard at the front door.
“I wish folks wouldn't come on washing day!” she said in a tone of vexation.
She went to the door and opened it.
There was nobody there.
“I thought somebody knocked,” thought she, a little mystified. “Perhaps I was mistaken.”
She went back to her tub, and had no sooner got her hands in the suds than another knock was heard, this time on the back door.
“I declare!” said she, in increased vexation, “There's another knock. I shan't get through my washing to-day.”
Again Mrs. Mudge wiped her hands on her apron, and went to the door.
There was nobody there.
I need hardly say that it was Ben, who had knocked both times, and instantly dodged37 round the corner of the house.
“It's some plaguy boy,” said Mrs. Mudge, her eyes blazing with anger. “Oh, if I could only get hold of him!”
“Don't you wish you could?” chuckled38 Ben to himself, as he caught a sly glimpse of the indignant woman.
Meanwhile, Squire Newcome had walked along in his usual slow and dignified39 manner, until he had reached the front door of the Poorhouse, and knocked.
“It's that plaguy boy again,” said Mrs. Mudge, furiously. “I won't go this time, but if he knocks again, I'll fix him.”
She took a dipper of hot suds from the tub in which she had been washing, and crept carefully into the entry, taking up a station close to the front door.
“I wonder if Mrs. Mudge heard me knock,” thought Squire Newcome. “I should think she might. I believe I will knock again.”
This time he knocked with his cane.
Rat-tat-tat sounded on the door.
The echo had not died away, when the door was pulled suddenly open, and a dipper full of hot suds was dashed into the face of the astonished Squire, accompanied with, “Take that, you young scamp!”
“Wh—what does all this mean?” gasped40 Squire Newcome, nearly strangled with the suds, a part of which had found its way into his mouth.
“What did you mean, then?” demanded Squire Newcome, sternly. “I think you addressed me,—ahem!—as a scamp.”
“Oh, I didn't mean you,” said Mrs. Mudge, almost out of her wits with perplexity.
“Come in, sir, and let me give you a towel. You've no idea how I've been tried this morning.”
“I trust,” said the Squire, in his stateliest tone, “you will be able to give a satisfactory explanation of this, ahem—extraordinary proceeding42.”
While Mrs. Mudge was endeavoring to sooth the ruffled43 dignity of the aggrieved44 Squire, the “young scamp,” who had caused all the mischief, made his escape through the fields.
“Oh, wasn't it bully45!” he exclaimed. “I believe I shall die of laughing. I wish Paul had been here to see it. Mrs. Mudge has got herself into a scrape, now, I'm thinking.”
Having attained46 a safe distance from the Poorhouse, Ben doubled himself up and rolled over and over upon the grass, convulsed with laughter.
“I'd give five dollars to see it all over again,” he said to himself. “I never had such splendid fun in my life.”
Presently the Squire emerged, his tall dicky looking decidedly limp and drooping47, his face expressing annoyance48 and outraged49 dignity. Mrs. Mudge attended him to the door with an expression of anxious concern.
“I guess I'd better make tracks,” said Ben to himself, “it won't do for the old gentleman to see me here, or he may smell a rat.”
He accordingly scrambled50 over a stone wall and lay quietly hidden behind it till he judged it would be safe to make his appearance.
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1
bustling
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| adj.喧闹的 | |
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industrious
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| adj.勤劳的，刻苦的，奋发的 | |
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3
havoc
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| n.大破坏，浩劫，大混乱，大杂乱 | |
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4
mowing
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| n.割草，一次收割量，牧草地v.刈，割( mow的现在分词 ) | |
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munching
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| v.用力咀嚼（某物），大嚼( munch的现在分词 ) | |
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6
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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7
devastation
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| n.毁坏；荒废；极度震惊或悲伤 | |
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8
scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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9
trampling
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| 踩( trample的现在分词 )； 践踏； 无视； 侵犯 | |
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sunder
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| v.分开；隔离；n.分离，分开 | |
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11
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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12
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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14
relics
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| [pl.］n.遗物，遗迹，遗产；遗体，尸骸 | |
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15
sarcastically
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| adv.挖苦地，讽刺地 | |
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16
paupers
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| n.穷人( pauper的名词复数 )；贫民；贫穷 | |
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17
withering
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| 使人畏缩的，使人害羞的，使人难堪的 | |
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18
sarcasm
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic） | |
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19
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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descried
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| adj.被注意到的，被发现的，被看到的 | |
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21
whetted
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| v.（在石头上）磨（刀、斧等）( whet的过去式和过去分词 )；引起，刺激（食欲、欲望、兴趣等） | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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23
avenge
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| v.为...复仇，为...报仇 | |
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24
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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25
random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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26
uprooting
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| n.倒根，挖除伐根v.把（某物）连根拔起( uproot的现在分词 )；根除；赶走；把…赶出家园 | |
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27
beets
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| 甜菜( beet的名词复数 )； 甜菜根； （因愤怒、难堪或觉得热而）脸红 | |
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28
turnips
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| 芜青( turnip的名词复数 )； 芜菁块根； 芜菁甘蓝块根； 怀表 | |
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29
galloped
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| （使马）飞奔，奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 )； 快速做[说]某事 | |
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30
squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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31
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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32
supervision
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| n.监督，管理 | |
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33
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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34
cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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35
grievances
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| n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 )；苦衷；不满；牢骚 | |
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apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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37
dodged
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| v.闪躲( dodge的过去式和过去分词 )；回避 | |
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38
chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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40
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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41
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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42
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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43
ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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44
aggrieved
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| adj.愤愤不平的，受委屈的；悲痛的；（在合法权利方面）受侵害的v.令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式)；令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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45
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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46
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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47
drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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48
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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49
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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50
scrambled
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| v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞 | |
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