THE STAMP DUTY ON SCOTCH LINEN.

SONNET¹
TO A SCOTCH² GIRL, WASHING LINEN³ AFTER HER COUNTRY FASHION.
WELL done and wetly, thou Fair Maid of Perth,
Thou mak’st a washing picture well deserving
The pen and pencilling of Washington Irving:
Like dripping Naiad, pearly from her birth,
[Pg 52]
Dashing about the water of the Firth,
To cleanse⁴ the calico of Mrs. Skirving,
And never from thy dance of duty swerving⁵
As there were nothing else than dirt on earth!
Yet what is thy reward? Nay⁶, do not start!
I do not mean to give thee a new damper,
But while thou fillest this industrious⁷ part
Of washer, wearer, mangler⁸, presser, stamper,
Deserving better character—thou art
What Bodkin would but call—“a common tramper.”
MY APOLOGY.
GENTLE READERS,
For the present month, there must be what Dr. Johnson called a solution of continuity in my “Literary Reminiscences.” Confined to my chamber⁹ by what ought to be termed roomatism—then attacked by my old livery complaint—and finally, by a minor¹⁰, but troublesome malady¹¹, the Present has too much prevailed over the Past, to let me indulge in any retrospective reviews. In such cases, on the stage, when a Performer is unable to support his character, a substitute is usually found to read the part; but, unfortunately, in the present case there is no part written, and consequently it cannot be read. But apropos¹² of theatricals—there is an anecdote¹³ on point.
In the Olympic days of the great Elliston, there was one evening a tremendous tumult¹⁴ at his Theatre, in consequence of the absence of a favourite performer. One man in the pit—a Butcher—was especially vociferous¹⁵ in his cry for “Carl! Carl! Carl!” Others called for the Manager, who duly made his appearance, and black as the weather looked, he was the very sort of pilot to weather the storm. With one of his princely bows
[Pg 53]
 he proceeded to address the House. “Ladies and Gentlemen—but by your leave I will address myself to a single individual. I will ask that gentleman (pointing to the vociferous Butcher) what right he has to demand the appearance of Mr. Carl?”
“’Cos,” said the Butcher, “’cos he’s down in the Bill.” Such an undeniable answer would have staggered any other Manager than Elliston, but he was not easily to be disconcerted. “Because he is down in the bill!” he echoed, in a tone of the loftiest indignation: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Mr. Carl, so unseasonably, so vociferously¹⁶ and so unfeelingly called for, is at this very moment labouring under severe illness—he is in bed. And let me ask, is a man, a fellow-creature, a human being, to be torn from his couch, from his home, on a cold night, from the affectionate attentions of his wife and family, at the risk of his valuable life perhaps, to go through a fatiguing¹⁷ part because he happens to be DOWN IN THE BILL?” [Cries of “Shame, shame!” from all parts of the house.] “And yet, ladies and gentlemen, there stands a man—if I may call him so—a Butcher, that for his own selfish gratification—the amusement of a few short hours—would risk the very existence of a deserving member of society, a good husband, father, friend, and one of your favourite actors, and all, forsooth, because he is DOWN IN THE BILL!” [Universal hooting¹⁸, with cries of “Turn him out.”] “By all means,” acquiesced¹⁹ the Manager, with one of his best bows—and the indignant pittites actually hooted²⁰ and kicked their own champion out of the theatre, as something more than a Butcher, and less than a Christian²¹.
Now I am myself, gentle readers, in the same predicament with Mr. Carl. Like him I am an invalid—and like him I am unfortunately down in the Bill. It would not become me to set forth²² my own domestic or social virtues²³, or to hint what sort of gap my loss would make in society—still less would it consist with modesty²⁴ to compare myself with a favourite actor—but as
[Pg 54]
 a mere²⁵ human being I throw myself on your mercy, and ask, in common charity, would you have had me leave my warm bed, to shiver in a printer’s damp sheets, at the risk of my reputation perhaps, and for the mere amusement of some half hour, or more probably for no amusement at all—simply because I was “down in the Bill?”
But there is no such Butcher, or Butcheress, or little Butcherling, amongst you; and by your good leave and patience, the instalment of my Reminiscences that is over due, shall be paid with interest in the NEXT NUMBER.

1 sonnet   

n.十四行诗

参考例句：

• The composer set a sonnet to music.作曲家为一首十四行诗谱了曲。
• He wrote a sonnet to his beloved.他写了一首十四行诗，献给他心爱的人。

2 scotch   

n.伤口，刻痕；苏格兰威士忌酒；v.粉碎，消灭，阻止；adj.苏格兰(人)的

参考例句：

• Facts will eventually scotch these rumours.这种谣言在事实面前将不攻自破。
• Italy was full of fine views and virtually empty of Scotch whiskey.意大利多的是美景，真正缺的是苏格兰威士忌。

3 linen   

n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的

参考例句：

• The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
• Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。

4 cleanse   

vt.使清洁，使纯洁，清洗

参考例句：

• Health experts are trying to cleanse the air in cities. 卫生专家们正设法净化城市里的空气。
• Fresh fruit juices can also cleanse your body and reduce dark circles.新鲜果汁同样可以清洁你的身体,并对黑眼圈同样有抑制作用。

5 swerving   

v.（使）改变方向，改变目的( swerve的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• It may stand as an example of the fitful swerving of his passion. 这是一个例子，说明他的情绪往往变化不定，忽冷忽热。 来自辞典例句
• Mrs Merkel would be foolish to placate her base by swerving right. 默克尔夫人如果为了安抚她的根基所在而转到右翼就太愚蠢了。 来自互联网

6 nay   

adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者

参考例句：

• He was grateful for and proud of his son's remarkable,nay,unique performance.他为儿子出色的，不，应该是独一无二的表演心怀感激和骄傲。
• Long essays,nay,whole books have been written on this.许多长篇大论的文章，不，应该说是整部整部的书都是关于这件事的。

7 industrious   

adj.勤劳的，刻苦的，奋发的

参考例句：

• If the tiller is industrious,the farmland is productive.人勤地不懒。
• She was an industrious and willing worker.她是个勤劳肯干的员工。

8 mangler   

n.乱切者；（布单的）砑光机；（橡胶的）压延机；压甘蔗机

参考例句：

9 chamber   

n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所

参考例句：

• For many,the dentist's surgery remains a torture chamber.对许多人来说，牙医的治疗室一直是间受刑室。
• The chamber was ablaze with light.会议厅里灯火辉煌。

10 minor   

adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修

参考例句：

• The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
• I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。

11 malady   

n.病，疾病(通常做比喻)

参考例句：

• There is no specific remedy for the malady.没有医治这种病的特效药。
• They are managing to control the malady into a small range.他们设法将疾病控制在小范围之内。

12 apropos   

adv.恰好地；adj.恰当的；关于

参考例句：

• I thought he spoke very apropos.我认为他说得很中肯。
• He arrived very apropos.他来得很及时。

13 anecdote   

n.轶事，趣闻，短故事

参考例句：

• He departed from the text to tell an anecdote.他偏离课文讲起了一则轶事。
• It had never been more than a family anecdote.那不过是个家庭趣谈罢了。

14 tumult   

n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹

参考例句：

• The tumult in the streets awakened everyone in the house.街上的喧哗吵醒了屋子里的每一个人。
• His voice disappeared under growing tumult.他的声音消失在越来越响的喧哗声中。

15 vociferous   

adj.喧哗的，大叫大嚷的

参考例句：

• They are holding a vociferous debate.他们在吵吵嚷嚷地辩论。
• He was a vociferous opponent of Conservatism.他高声反对保守主义。

16 vociferously   

adv.喊叫地，吵闹地

参考例句：

• They are arguing vociferously over who should pay the bill. 他们为谁该付账单大声争吵。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Annixter had cursed him so vociferously and tersely that even Osterman was cowed. 安尼克斯特骂了他的声音之大，语气之凶，连奥斯特曼也不禁吓了一跳。 来自辞典例句

17 fatiguing   

a.使人劳累的

参考例句：

• He was fatiguing himself with his writing, no doubt. 想必他是拼命写作，写得精疲力尽了。
• Machines are much less fatiguing to your hands, arms, and back. 使用机器时，手、膊和后背不会感到太累。

18 hooting   

（使）作汽笛声响，作汽车喇叭声( hoot的现在分词 )； 倒好儿； 倒彩

参考例句：

• He had the audience hooting with laughter . 他令观众哄堂大笑。
• The owl was hooting. 猫头鹰在叫。

19 acquiesced   

v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Senior government figures must have acquiesced in the cover-up. 政府高级官员必然已经默许掩盖真相。
• After a lot of persuasion,he finally acquiesced. 经过多次劝说，他最终默许了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 hooted   

（使）作汽笛声响，作汽车喇叭声( hoot的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• An owl hooted nearby. 一只猫头鹰在附近啼叫。
• The crowd hooted and jeered at the speaker. 群众向那演讲人发出轻蔑的叫嚣和嘲笑。

21 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

22 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

23 virtues   

美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处

参考例句：

• Doctors often extol the virtues of eating less fat. 医生常常宣扬少吃脂肪的好处。
• She delivered a homily on the virtues of family life. 她进行了一场家庭生活美德方面的说教。

24 modesty   

n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素

参考例句：

• Industry and modesty are the chief factors of his success.勤奋和谦虚是他成功的主要因素。
• As conceit makes one lag behind,so modesty helps one make progress.骄傲使人落后，谦虚使人进步。

25 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。