[Pg 280]
it. For my own part I cannot even step deliberately5 over a thread. Perhaps, without going too curiously6 into the Doctrine7 of Predestination, as regards the soul, it may hold good as concerns the body. Undoubtedly8 there be some men born to sit fast upon horses; others to fall off therefrom as if they had soaped saddles. Some to slide and skate upon the ice; others only to slip, straddle, and sprawl9 upon it. Some to walk, or at least waddle10, on ships’ decks; others to flop11, flounder, wallow, and grovel12 thereon. That is my destiny. None can be more safe on the Serpentine13, or sure in the saddle;—but Fate, long before my great-great-great-grandfather was put to his feet, forbade me sea-legs. An average pedestrian on land, on the caulked14 plank15 I am a born cripple, hopeless of cure. Put me apprentice16 to the Goodwin, or the Dudgeon Light, at the end of my term you shall find me as unsafe on my soles as when I first paid my footing. Even now, whilst Hans Vandergroot and his crew are comfortably promenading17, I rock and totter18, balancing one end against the other, like a great rickety babe, until, after some posturing19 and scrambling20, I trip up over nothing, and fall flat on everything. An earthquake in London, when its streets are what is called greasy21, could not more puzzle my centre of gravity; if, indeed, I was not born a mathematical monster, devoid22 of that material point!
By way of clincher, Fate, who never does things by halves, whilst foredooming me incapable23 of standing24 my ground at sea, has also denied me the power of settling it. A camp-stool is sure to decamp with me; a chair, as if it stood on Siberian ice, suddenly throws itself on its back, and behold25 me in an extempore sledge26! Barrels roll from under me; coils of rope shuffle27 me off. Even on the plain bare hard deck, or cabin floor, I throw demi-summersets, as if I had been returned to Parliament to represent the Antipodes by sitting on the back of my head.
To complete the Sea Curse,—there are three Fates, and each
[Pg 281]
had a boon28 for me at my birth—it was ordained29 that, like the great Nelson, I should never sail from fresh water into salt, without knowing it by a general rising and commotion30, which might be called figuratively, a Mutiny at the Nore.
Like the standing and sitting infirmity, it is incurable31. On my voyage outwards32 I tried every popular recipe; the hard ones first, to wit, raw carrots, raw onions, sailors’ biscuit with Dutch cheese, hard-boiled eggs, hard dumplings, raw stockfish. Next the easy ones: namely, cream cheese, Welsh rabbits, maccaroni, very hasty pudding, and insupportable soup. Then the neutrals: such as chewed blotting-paper, dry oatmeal, pounded egg-shells, scraped chalk, and unbaked dough33.
To wash these down, I took, by prescription34, tea without milk, coffee without sugar, bark without wine, water without brandy; and these formulæ all failing, I then tried them, as witches pray, backwards35; brandy without water, wine without bark, and so forth36. The experimental combinations followed; rum and milk, and mustard; eggs and wine, and camomile tea; gin and beer, and vinegar; sea-water and salad-oil, mulled, with sugar and nutmeg. Of which last, I drank by advice most prodigiously37, the Doctors of the Marine38 College dispensing39 always on the Homœopathic principle, that a large dose of anything, whereof a little would set you wrong on the land, will set you right on the sea.
I need hardly say that, with my predisposed necessitarian viscera, all these infallible remedies failed of any effect, except to aggravate40 my case. Nothing short of liquid lead, maybe, or potable plaster of Paris, would have proved a settler.
Happy the man who hath never been driven in his despair to test, detest41, invoke42, evoke43, swallow, and unswallow, such drugs and draughts44 of the naval45 Pharmacopœia! Thrice happy civic46 simpleton who hath never learned how the rudder revolveth, at the risk of turning round himself!
[Pg 282]
Vandergroot is visibly in course of transformation47. At every visit to the cabin he looks more and more like a Dutch-pin. He talks to me roundly, and gets blunter and blunter! The last time I felt, I had no small to my back. If I may guess at my own figure, it is now about an oval. I must look like one of Leda’s babies, just emerged, with their insignificant48 buds of legs and arms, from the egg! From an oval to a circle is but a step. Heaven help me when I get landed, round and sound, as they say of cherries! How shall I get home—how get up—(there will be a short way down)—mine own stairs? How shall I sit? Instead of my old library chair, I must borrow its three-legged stool of the terrestrial globe!
Either my head swims, or the cabin is getting circular! I shall roll about in it like a bolus in its box! If I am not merely giddy, I am already as spherical49 as the earth; a little flatted, or so, that is, towards the poles. What a horrible rough calm! I will down on my knees, if I have knees, and with clasped hands, if hands remain to me, pray, beg, and supplicate50 for a dismal51 storm to batter52 me into shape again, though it be but nine-bobble-square!
I get more and more candid53 and communicative every moment. I can keep nothing to myself: you shall have my whole heart. I abhor54, loathe55, execrate56, the sea! If I could throw up my hat, my cry would be “Land for ever!” A fico for Tom Tough! Down with Duncan Howe, and Jervis! No Dibdin!
If ever I get ashore57, able to chalk upon a wall, you shall read—Ask for Stoke Pogis! Try Lupton Parva! If ever I get to a dry desk again, to write verse upon,—and the poetry of the ocean is all on the land, its prose only upon the sea, you shall have a rare new melody, published by Power, to some such strain as this:—
The sea! the D——!
The terrible horrible sea!
[Pg 283]
The stormy, tumbling,
Qualmy-jumbling,
Spirit-humbling,
Shingle-stumbling,
Sea-weed fumbling58,
Wearing, crumbling59,
Mischief-mumbling,
Growling60, grumbling61,
Like thunder far off rumbling— —
That last line halteth in its feet, as well it may, when the poet cannot keep his legs. Oh! it is well for Cornwall, born perchance “with one foot on sea and one foot on shore” at the Land’s End,—I have seen a picture of it by Turner, a bare bleak62 rocky promontory63, with some nineteen gulls64 and cormor
[Pg 284]
ants sitting thereon, each with its tail turned contemptuously towards the barren granite65, feldspar, and like sordid66 soils which there represent land.—It is well enough for him to chaunt laudations of the briny67 element, and cry up those amphibia, his first cousins almost, the Nereids and Tritons. Or it may become those others, born in a berth68, and christened in brine, with Neptune for sponsor, to sing slightingly of the dry ground, on which they cannot claim even a parish. But my nativity was otherwise cast—I am a grass lamb, yeaned on the green sward—oh sweet sweet sweet Cropton-le-Moor, down in dear dear Wiltshire!
点击收听单词发音
1 Neptune | |
n.海王星 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 paternal | |
adj.父亲的,像父亲的,父系的,父方的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 gravel | |
n.砂跞;砂砾层;结石 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 bullying | |
v.恐吓,威逼( bully的现在分词 );豪;跋扈 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 deliberately | |
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 doctrine | |
n.教义;主义;学说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 undoubtedly | |
adv.确实地,无疑地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 sprawl | |
vi.躺卧,扩张,蔓延;vt.使蔓延;n.躺卧,蔓延 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 waddle | |
vi.摇摆地走;n.摇摆的走路(样子) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 flop | |
n.失败(者),扑通一声;vi.笨重地行动,沉重地落下 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 grovel | |
vi.卑躬屈膝,奴颜婢膝 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 serpentine | |
adj.蜿蜒的,弯曲的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 caulked | |
v.堵(船的)缝( caulk的过去式和过去分词 );泥…的缝;填塞;使不漏水 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 plank | |
n.板条,木板,政策要点,政纲条目 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 apprentice | |
n.学徒,徒弟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 promenading | |
v.兜风( promenade的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 totter | |
v.蹒跚, 摇摇欲坠;n.蹒跚的步子 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 posturing | |
做出某种姿势( posture的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 scrambling | |
v.快速爬行( scramble的现在分词 );攀登;争夺;(军事飞机)紧急起飞 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 greasy | |
adj. 多脂的,油脂的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 devoid | |
adj.全无的,缺乏的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 incapable | |
adj.无能力的,不能做某事的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 sledge | |
n.雪橇,大锤;v.用雪橇搬运,坐雪橇往 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 shuffle | |
n.拖著脚走,洗纸牌;v.拖曳,慢吞吞地走 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 boon | |
n.恩赐,恩物,恩惠 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 ordained | |
v.任命(某人)为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 );授予(某人)圣职;(上帝、法律等)命令;判定 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 commotion | |
n.骚动,动乱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 incurable | |
adj.不能医治的,不能矫正的,无救的;n.不治的病人,无救的人 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 outwards | |
adj.外面的,公开的,向外的;adv.向外;n.外形 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 dough | |
n.生面团;钱,现款 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 prescription | |
n.处方,开药;指示,规定 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 backwards | |
adv.往回地,向原处,倒,相反,前后倒置地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 prodigiously | |
adv.异常地,惊人地,巨大地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 marine | |
adj.海的;海生的;航海的;海事的;n.水兵 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 dispensing | |
v.分配( dispense的现在分词 );施与;配(药) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 aggravate | |
vt.加重(剧),使恶化;激怒,使恼火 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 detest | |
vt.痛恨,憎恶 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 invoke | |
v.求助于(神、法律);恳求,乞求 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 evoke | |
vt.唤起,引起,使人想起 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 draughts | |
n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 naval | |
adj.海军的,军舰的,船的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 civic | |
adj.城市的,都市的,市民的,公民的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 transformation | |
n.变化;改造;转变 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 insignificant | |
adj.无关紧要的,可忽略的,无意义的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 spherical | |
adj.球形的;球面的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 supplicate | |
v.恳求;adv.祈求地,哀求地,恳求地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 dismal | |
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 batter | |
v.接连重击;磨损;n.牛奶面糊;击球员 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 candid | |
adj.公正的,正直的;坦率的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 abhor | |
v.憎恶;痛恨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 loathe | |
v.厌恶,嫌恶 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 execrate | |
v.憎恶;厌恶;诅咒 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 ashore | |
adv.在(向)岸上,上岸 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 fumbling | |
n. 摸索,漏接 v. 摸索,摸弄,笨拙的处理 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 crumbling | |
adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 growling | |
n.吠声, 咆哮声 v.怒吠, 咆哮, 吼 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 grumbling | |
adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 bleak | |
adj.(天气)阴冷的;凄凉的;暗淡的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 promontory | |
n.海角;岬 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 gulls | |
n.鸥( gull的名词复数 )v.欺骗某人( gull的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 granite | |
adj.花岗岩,花岗石 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67 briny | |
adj.盐水的;很咸的;n.海洋 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68 berth | |
n.卧铺,停泊地,锚位;v.使停泊 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |