PRACTICE DRIVES ME MAD.

 At Long Division sums she had no chance,
And History was quite as bad a balk¹;
Her French it was too small for Petty France,
And Priscian suffered in her English talk:
Her drawing might be done with cheese or chalk;
As for the globes—the use of the terrestrial
She knew when she went out to take a walk,
[Pg 307]
Or take a ride; but, touching² the celestial³,
Her knowledge hardly soared above the bestial⁴.
Nothing she learned of Juno, Pallas, Mars;
Georgium, for what she knew, might stand for Burgo,
Sidus, for Master: then, for northern stars,
The Bear she fancied did in sable⁵ fur go,
The Bull was Farmer Giles’s bull, and, ergo,
The Ram⁶ the same that butted⁷ at her brother;
As for the Twins, she only guessed that Virgo,
From coming after them, must be their mother;
The Scales weighed soap, tea, figs⁸, like any other.
As ignorant as donkeys in Gallicia,
She thought that Saturn⁹, with his Belt, was but
A private, may be, in the Kent Militia¹⁰;
That Charles’s Wain would stick in a deep rut,
That Venus was a real West-End slut—
Oh, Gods and Goddesses of Greek Theogony!
That Berenice’s Hair would curl and cut,
That Cassiopëia’s Chair was good Mahogany,
Nicely French-polished,—such was her cosmogony!
Judge, then, how puzzled by the scientifics
Lorenzo’s letter came now to dispense¹¹;
A lizard¹², crawling over hieroglyphics¹³,
Knows quite as much of their Egyptian sense;
A sort of London fog, opaque¹⁴ and dense¹⁵,
Hung over verbs, nouns, genitives, and datives.
In vain she pored and pored, with eyes intense;
As well is known to oyster-operatives,
Mere¹⁶ looking at the shells won’t open natives.
Yet mixed with the hard words, so called, she found
Some easy ones that gave her heart the staggers:
[Pg 308]
Words giving tongue against her, like a hound
At picking out a fault—words speaking daggers¹⁷.
The very letters seemed, in hostile swaggers,
To lash¹⁸ their tails, but not as horses do,
Nor like the tails of spaniels, gentle waggers,
But like a lion’s, ere he tears in two
A black, to see if he is black all through.
With open mouth, and eyeballs at full stretch,
She gazed upon the paper sad and sorry,
No sound—no stir—quite petrified¹⁹, poor wretch²⁰!
As when Apollo, in old allegory,
Down-stooping like a falcon²¹, made his quarry²²
Of Niobe, just turned to Purbeck stone;
In fact, since Cupid grew into a worry,
Judge if a suing lover, let alone
A lawyer, ever wrote in such a tone.

1 balk   

n.大方木料；v.妨碍；不愿前进或从事某事

参考例句：

• We get strong indications that his agent would balk at that request.我们得到的强烈暗示是他的经纪人会回避那个要求。
• He shored up the wall with a thick balk of wood.他用一根粗大的木头把墙撑住。

2 touching   

adj.动人的，使人感伤的

参考例句：

• It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
• His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

3 celestial   

adj.天体的；天上的

参考例句：

• The rosy light yet beamed like a celestial dawn.玫瑰色的红光依然象天上的朝霞一样绚丽。
• Gravity governs the motions of celestial bodies.万有引力控制着天体的运动。

4 bestial   

adj.残忍的；野蛮的

参考例句：

• The Roman gladiatorial contests were bestial amusements.罗马角斗是残忍的娱乐。
• A statement on Amman Radio spoke of bestial aggression and a horrible massacre. 安曼广播电台播放的一则声明提到了野蛮的侵略和骇人的大屠杀。

5 sable   

n.黑貂；adj.黑色的

参考例句：

• Artists' brushes are sometimes made of sable.画家的画笔有的是用貂毛制的。
• Down the sable flood they glided.他们在黑黝黝的洪水中随波逐流。

6 ram   

(random access memory)随机存取存储器

参考例句：

• 512k RAM is recommended and 640k RAM is preferred.推荐配置为512K内存，640K内存则更佳。

7 butted   

对接的

参考例句：

• Two goats butted each other. 两只山羊用角顶架。
• He butted against a tree in the dark. 他黑暗中撞上了一棵树。

8 figs   

figures 数字，图形，外形

参考例句：

• The effect of ring dyeing is shown in Figs 10 and 11. 环形染色的影响如图10和图11所示。
• The results in Figs. 4 and 5 show the excellent agreement between simulation and experiment. 图4和图5的结果都表明模拟和实验是相当吻合的。

9 Saturn   

n.农神，土星

参考例句：

• Astronomers used to ask why only Saturn has rings.天文学家们过去一直感到奇怪，为什么只有土星有光环。
• These comparisons suggested that Saturn is made of lighter materials.这些比较告诉我们，土星由较轻的物质构成。

10 militia   

n.民兵，民兵组织

参考例句：

• First came the PLA men,then the people's militia.人民解放军走在前面，其次是民兵。
• There's a building guarded by the local militia at the corner of the street.街道拐角处有一幢由当地民兵团守卫的大楼。

11 dispense   

vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施

参考例句：

• Let us dispense the food.咱们来分发这食物。
• The charity has been given a large sum of money to dispense as it sees fit.这个慈善机构获得一大笔钱，可自行适当分配。

12 lizard   

n.蜥蜴，壁虎

参考例句：

• A chameleon is a kind of lizard.变色龙是一种蜥蜴。
• The lizard darted out its tongue at the insect.蜥蜴伸出舌头去吃小昆虫。

13 hieroglyphics   

n.pl.象形文字

参考例句：

• Hieroglyphics are carved into the walls of the temple. 寺庙的墙壁上刻着象形文字。
• His writing is so bad it just looks like hieroglyphics to me. 他写的糟透了，对我来说就像天书一样。

14 opaque   

adj.不透光的；不反光的，不传导的；晦涩的

参考例句：

• The windows are of opaque glass.这些窗户装着不透明玻璃。
• Their intentions remained opaque.他们的意图仍然令人费解。

15 dense   

a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的

参考例句：

• The general ambushed his troops in the dense woods. 将军把部队埋伏在浓密的树林里。
• The path was completely covered by the dense foliage. 小路被树叶厚厚地盖了一层。

16 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

17 daggers   

匕首，短剑( dagger的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• I will speak daggers to her, but use none. 我要用利剑一样的话刺痛她的心，但绝不是真用利剑。
• The world lives at daggers drawn in a cold war. 世界在冷战中剑拨弩张。

18 lash   

v.系牢；鞭打；猛烈抨击；n.鞭打；眼睫毛

参考例句：

• He received a lash of her hand on his cheek.他突然被她打了一记耳光。
• With a lash of its tail the tiger leaped at her.老虎把尾巴一甩朝她扑过来。

19 petrified   

adj.惊呆的；目瞪口呆的v.使吓呆，使惊呆；变僵硬；使石化(petrify的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• I'm petrified of snakes. 我特别怕蛇。
• The poor child was petrified with fear. 这可怜的孩子被吓呆了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 wretch   

n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人

参考例句：

• You are really an ungrateful wretch to complain instead of thanking him.你不但不谢他，还埋怨他，真不知好歹。
• The dead husband is not the dishonoured wretch they fancied him.死去的丈夫不是他们所想象的不光彩的坏蛋。

21 falcon   

n.隼，猎鹰

参考例句：

• The falcon was twice his size with pouted feathers.鹰张开羽毛比两只鹰还大。
• The boys went hunting with their falcon.男孩子们带着猎鹰出去打猎了。

22 quarry   

n.采石场；v.采石；费力地找

参考例句：

• Michelangelo obtained his marble from a quarry.米开朗基罗从采石场获得他的大理石。
• This mountain was the site for a quarry.这座山曾经有一个采石场。