Mrs. Middlemass came in hurriedly. She had only time to wish Miss West a merry Christmas and a good New Year, and to announce that Vicky was quite herself again, except that the bun fever had left her rather pale, and she had not got back all her appetite. She could not, however, make the same complaint of Mr. Middlemass, who had just come in ravenously7 hungry from the train. He had been accompanied by another gentleman, who had been introduced to him before he left the north, and whom Mr. Middlemass would not allow to go over to the inn at Stoneham, where he was to spend a few days with a friend. Mr. Middlemass and his new acquaintance were still at dinner.
Miss West was hurrying away after having discharged [Page 355]her commission, in order not to detain Mrs. Middlemass from her husband and his guest, and not to impose on master or servant the trouble of seeing her home.
But as they were exchanging smothered8 good-byes near the open dining-room door, Mr. Middlemass, who was frank and hospitable9, broke through the clatter10 of knives and forks, and called out unceremoniously, "My dear, who is that you are taking leave of?"
"It is only Miss West, my dear," his wife replied softly to quiet him.
"Miss West!" and he banged from his seat and bounced to the door. "Miss West! the very woman in the nick of time. Stay, Miss West, and thank your stars; here's an old friend come a long way to see you."
Miss West turned, and there, behind the cordial face of the master of the house, who suspected nothing, and was only happy to be helpful to a brother merchant, were the perfectly11 recognizable lineaments of that old personable fellow, Bill Nairne.
Miss West for a second fancied that the letter she had posted to him ten minutes before had sped like a telegram to its destination, and that he had sped back on the telegraphic wires to remonstrate12 with her and expose her. The next instant she was sensible that the accident of his being there in person must be a result of a previous change of mind on his part.
Bill Nairne had stared, and stammered13 in mechanical accents, after Mr. Middlemass supplied him with the keynote, "Miss West, the very person, let us thank our stars!" But he soon recovered himself, and then shook [Page 356]her hand warmly, and declared, in his old, off-hand manner, "I shall see you home, Miss West;" for Miss West had no sooner recovered her breath and her small share of colour, than she combated Mr. Middlemass's pressing invitation to remain and spend the evening with them. No; Miss Sandys was expecting her; she thanked him and Mrs. Middlemass, but she could not stay on any account, so that there would be no use in sending over a message or a note to Carter Hill. Neither was it on Miss West's cards that Bill Nairne should escort her to Carter Hill, or, indeed, that she should have any escort at all. "Do not think of such a thing; I could not allow it." Mrs. Middlemass came to Miss West's aid, and alleged14 in her ignorance, "There is no occasion for it, Mr. Nairne; it is only a step to Carter Hill, and Miss West is accustomed to walk across after dinner, when Miss Sandys has a message for us. Remember, we are very quiet people here compared to what you are in the north. Besides, if Miss West is timid, I can manage to send a servant, or," she went on with greater hesitation15, "Mr. Middlemass will be delighted to go, he knows the way; but you must not put yourself about on any consideration."
Miss West rather indignantly denied being timid, timidity being out of her rôle, and then she judged prematurely16 that the matter was settled. She had got so accustomed to order about girls that she had fallen into the bad habit of expecting that her will should be law to all the world, with the exception of Miss Sandys. As for Mr. and Mrs. Middlemass, they at least knew that she could take care of herself.
I[Page 357]t was another shock to Miss West, another tumultuous, inopportune return to the experience of half a score years back, to find that she could no more dictate17 to Bill Nairne on this small matter than she could have done it as Mad of the old days.
"Say no more about it, Miss West. I'll go home with you, of course." Bill thus put her down with an intrepidity18, if anything, increased with his increased weight physically19 and commercially.
This completely confounded Miss West, and made a greater muddle20 of her former and her present identities than had yet been effected.
"I'll see Miss West home, and we'll have a talk together of our old friendship as we walk along," Bill maintained with the confident coolness of power, towards the self-contained, self-sustained teacher.
It was something unprecedented21 for Miss West to be walking to Carter Hill on a man's arm, an old friend's arm. She felt an odd sensation stealing over her as if she were no longer able to take care of herself, as if she were no longer herself, her late self, at all; and the moon helped the illusion.
Silence descended22 on Miss West and Bill Nairne, after the first forced commonplaces. He glanced furtively23 at her, and lost his confidence and coolness, and hung his head—the respectable prosperous merchant!—but not at what he saw. What did she see? Nothing but that the sword had worn the scabbard. Mad had been true to herself. Mad could not have been otherwise than true, as he had written. But the consciousness of what Mad [Page 358]would see when she lifted up her eyes and looked him in the face made him droop24 his head. He had got a glimpse of it that morning, when, as the thought of Mad grew more and more vivid in his mind, he saw something reflected in the glass which did not necessarily belong to bodily maturity25. The conviction returned to him with fresh, poignant26 regret, in the peaceful hush27 and subdued28 splendour of the winter night. There were lines in his face which Mad should never have seen there, without which he would have been nearer heaven. There were hard, unbelieving lines, supercilious29 lines, self-indulgent lines, lines of the earth, earthy, corresponding to hard and gross lines in the spirit within. The respectable, prosperous merchant, had fallen from his original level. He had not attained30 to the chivalrous31, Christian32 manhood which he had the prospect33 of when he was Mad's promising34 lover. He had lowered his standard, forsaken35 his principles, lost his faith a few times since then. The gulf36 between Mad and him was wider now. He felt this walking on the moonlight December night by Mad's side again.
It was in a somewhat different tone from that of his letter that Bill Nairne said at last, "Mad, will you have the worst of me? Will you do something for me and mine after all? I might have been another man if I had got you long ago, Mad."
"Would you have been a better and a happier man, Bill? Could I do anything for you yet? Answer me truly," she said, hurriedly heaping the self-forgetful, quivering sentences one upon another.
[Page 359]"Anything!" exclaimed big Bill Nairne with intense conviction and hyperbole, more excusable than his old prudence37 and fickleness38, "Anything! Mad, you could do everything with me, and with little Bill and Bob. We should no longer be egotistical and frivolous39, with you to keep us right, you good, single-hearted Mad."
Miss Sandys was entitled to say, "You have come out this Christmas, Miss West. I shan't allow my assistant to be taken off her satirical staid feet another Christmas. I'll lock the next one up for the holidays. It is all those holidays; you would never have thought of such foolish things had you been busy teaching. I'll lock the next one up, or I'll send her to her friends, who will live, I trust, in some peaceful valley, where there are no old acquaintances, or for that matter, men of any kind. I shall, indeed, Miss West, for I hate changes." Miss Sandys had not to dread40 changes much longer. A sister of Miss West came and supplied her place, and lived so long with Miss Sandys that she closed her superior's eyes like a dutiful daughter, and succeeded to the goodwill41 of Carter Hill School.
The End
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1
equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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2
discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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3
lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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4
maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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5
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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partnership
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| n.合作关系，伙伴关系 | |
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7
ravenously
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| adv.大嚼地，饥饿地 | |
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8
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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9
hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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10
clatter
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| v./n.(使)发出连续而清脆的撞击声 | |
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11
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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12
remonstrate
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| v.抗议，规劝 | |
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13
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
alleged
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| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
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15
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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16
prematurely
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| adv.过早地，贸然地 | |
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17
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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18
intrepidity
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| n.大胆，刚勇；大胆的行为 | |
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19
physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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20
muddle
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| n.困惑，混浊状态；vt.使混乱，使糊涂，使惊呆；vi.胡乱应付，混乱 | |
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21
unprecedented
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| adj.无前例的，新奇的 | |
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22
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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23
furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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24
droop
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| v.低垂，下垂；凋萎，萎靡 | |
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25
maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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26
poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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27
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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28
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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29
supercilious
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| adj.目中无人的，高傲的；adv.高傲地；n.高傲 | |
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30
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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31
chivalrous
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| adj.武士精神的；对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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32
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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33
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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34
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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35
Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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36
gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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37
prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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38
fickleness
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| n.易变；无常；浮躁；变化无常 | |
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39
frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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40
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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41
goodwill
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| n.善意，亲善，信誉，声誉 | |
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