CHAPTER XVIII A BLACK SELF AND A WHITE SELF

"IT is quite true, Maggie," said Nancy Banister. "It is about the auction¹. Yes, there is no doubt about that. What possessed² you to go?"

Maggie Oliphant was standing³ in the center of her own room with an open letter in her hand. Nancy was reading it over her shoulder:

    KATHARINE HALL,

    "Dec. 2.

    "Miss Eccleston and Miss Heath request Miss Oliphant and Miss Peel to present themselves in Miss Eccleston's private sitting-room⁴ this evening at seven o'clock."

"That is all," said Maggie. "It sounds as solemn and unfriendly as if one were about to be tried for some capital offense⁵."

"It's the auction, of course," repeated Nancy. "Those girls thought they had kept it so quiet, but some one must have 'peached,' I suppose, to curry⁶ favor. Whatever made you go, Maggie? You know you have never mixed yourself up with that Day, and Merton, and Marsh⁷ set. As to that poor Polly Singleton, there's no harm in her, but she's a perfect madcap. What could have possessed you to go?"

"My evil genius," repeated Maggie in a gloomy tone. "You don't suppose I wished to be there, Nancy; but that horrid⁸ little Merton girl said something taunting⁹, and then I forgot myself. Oh, dear, Nancy! what shall I ever do with that other self of mine? It will ruin me in the end. It gets stronger every day."

Maggie sat down on the sofa. Nancy suddenly knelt by her side.

"Dear Meg," she said caressingly¹⁰, "you're the noblest, and the sweetest, and the most beautiful girl at St. Benet's! Why can't you live up to your true self?"

"There are two selfs in me," replied Maggie. "And if one even approaches the faintest semblance¹¹ of angel-hood, the other is black as pitch. There, it only wastes time to talk the thing over. I'm in for the sort of scrape I hate most. See, Nancy, I bought this at the auction."

She opened her wardrobe, and taking out Polly Singleton's magnificent eighty-guinea sealskin jacket, slipped it on.

"Don't I look superb?" said Maggie. She shut the wardrobe-door and surveyed herself in its long glass. Brown was Maggie Oliphant's color. It harmonized with the soft tints¹² of her delicately rounded face, with the rich color in her hair, with the light in her eyes. It added to all these charms, softening¹³ them, giving to them a more perfect luster¹⁴.

"Oh, Maggie!" said Nancy, clasping her hands, "you ought always to be dressed as you are now."

Maggie dropped her arms suddenly to her sides. The jacket, a little too large for her, slid off her shoulders and lay in a heap on the floor.

"What?" she said suddenly. "Am I never to show my true and real self? Am I always to be disguised in sham¹⁵ beauty and sham goodness? Oh, Nancy, Nancy! if there is a creature I hate— I hate— her name is Maggie Oliphant!"

Nancy picked up the sealskin jacket and put it back into the wardrobe.

"I am sorry you went to the auction, Maggie," she repeated, "and I'm sorry still to find you bought poor Polly Singleton's sealskin. Well, it's done now, and we have to consider how to get you out of this scrape.

There's no time for you to indulge in that morbid¹⁶ talk of yours to-day, Maggie, darling. Let us consider what's best to be done."

"Nothing," retorted Maggie. "I shall simply go to Miss Heath and Miss Eccleston and tell them the truth. There's nothing else to be done. No hope whatever of getting out of the affair. I went to Polly Singleton's auction because Rosalind Merton raised the demon¹⁷ in me. I tried to become the possessor of the sealskin jacket because her heart was set on it. I won an eighty-guinea jacket for ten guineas. You see how ignoble¹⁸ my motives¹⁹ were, also how unworthy the results. I did worse even than that— for I will out with the truth to you, Nancy— I revenged myself still further upon that spiteful little gnat²⁰, Rosalind, and raised the price of her coveted²¹ coral to such an extent that I know by her face she is pounds in debt for it. Now, my dear, what have you to say to me? Nothing good, I know that. Let me read Aristotle for the next hour just to calm my mind."

Maggie turned away, seated herself by her writing bureau and tried to lose both the past and the present in her beloved Greek.

"She will do it, too," whispered Nancy as she left the room. "No one ever was made quite like Maggie. She can feel tortures and yet the next moment she can be in ecstasy²². She is so tantalizing²³ that at times you are almost brought to believe her own stories about herself. You are almost sure that she has got the black self as well as the white self. But through it all, yes, through it all, you love her. Dear Maggie! Whatever happens, I must always— always love her."

Nancy was walking slowly down the corridor when a room-door was gently opened and the sweet, childish, innocent face of Rosalind peeped out.

"Nancy, is that you? Do, for Heaven's sake, come in and speak to me for a moment."

"What about, Rosalind? I have only a minute or two to spare. My German lecture is to begin immediately."

"Oh, what does that signify? You don't know the awful trouble we've got into."

"You mean about the auction?"

"Yes— yes; so you have heard?"

"Of course I've heard. If that is all, Rosalind, I cannot wait to discuss the matter now. I am very sorry for you, of course, but as I said to Maggie, why did you do it?"

"Oh, you've been talking to Miss Oliphant? Thank goodness she'll have to answer for her sins as well as the rest of us."

"Maggie is my friend, so you need not abuse her, Rosalind."

"Lucky for her that she has got one true friend!" retorted Rosalind.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I say. Maggie is making such a fool of herself that we are all laughing at her behind her back."

"Indeed? I fail to understand you."

"You are being made a fool of, too, Nancy. Oh, I did think you'd have had more sense."

"How? Speak. Say at once what you want to say, Rosalind, and stop talking riddles²⁴, for I must fly to my work."

"Fly then," retorted Rosalind, "only think twice before you give your confidence to a certain person. A person who makes a fine parade of poverty and so-called honesty of purpose, but who can, and who does, betray her kindest and best friend behind her back. It is my private belief we have to thank this virtuous²⁵ being for getting us into the pleasant scrape we are in. I am convinced she has tried to curry favor by telling Miss Heath all about poor Polly's auction."

"You mean Priscilla Peel?" said Nancy in a firm voice. She forgot her German lecture now. "You have no right to say words of that kind. You have taken a dislike to Prissie, no one knows why. She is not as interesting nor as beautiful as Maggie, but she is good, and you should respect her."

Rosalind laughed bitterly.

"Good? Is she? Ask Mr. Hammond. You say she is not beautiful nor interesting. Perhaps he finds her both. Ask him."

"Rosalind, I shall tell Maggie what you say. This is not the first time you have hinted unkind things about Priscilla. It is better to sift²⁶ a matter of this kind to the bottom than to hint it all over the college as you are doing. Maggie shall take it in hand."

"Let her! I shall only be too delighted! What a jolly time the saintly Priscilla will have."

"I can't stay any longer, Rosalind."

"But, Nancy, just one moment. I want to put accounts right with Polly before to-night. Mother sent me ten pounds to buy something at the auction. The coral cost fourteen guineas. I have written to mother for the balance, and it may come by any post. Do lend it to me until it comes! Do, kind Nancy!"

"I have not got so much in the world, I have not really, Rosalind. Good-by; my lecture will have begun."

Nancy ran out of the room and Miss Merton turned to survey ruefully her empty purse and to read again a letter which had already arrived from her mother:

    MY DEAR ROSALIND: I have not the additional money to spare you, my poor child. The ten pounds which I weakly yielded at your first earnest request was, in reality, taken from the money which is to buy your sisters their winter dresses. I dare not encroach any further on it, or your father would certainly ask me why the girls were dressed so shabbily. Fourteen guineas for coral! You know, my dear child, we cannot afford this extravagance. My advice is to return it to your friend and to ask her to let you have the ten guineas back. You might return it to me in a postal²⁷ order, for I want it badly. It was one thing to struggle to let you have it in the hopes that you would secure a really valuable garment like a sealskin jacket and another to give it to you for some rather useless ornaments²⁸. Your affectionate mother,

    "ALICE MERTON."

1 auction   

n.拍卖；拍卖会；vt.拍卖

参考例句：

• They've put the contents of their house up for auction.他们把房子里的东西全都拿去拍卖了。
• They bought a new minibus with the proceeds from the auction.他们用拍卖得来的钱买了一辆新面包车。

2 possessed   

adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的

参考例句：

• He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
• He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。

3 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

4 sitting-room   

n.（BrE）客厅，起居室

参考例句：

• The sitting-room is clean.起居室很清洁。
• Each villa has a separate sitting-room.每栋别墅都有一间独立的起居室。

5 offense   

n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪

参考例句：

• I hope you will not take any offense at my words. 对我讲的话请别见怪。
• His words gave great offense to everybody present.他的发言冲犯了在场的所有人。

6 curry   

n.咖哩粉，咖哩饭菜；v.用咖哩粉调味，用马栉梳，制革

参考例句：

• Rice makes an excellent complement to a curry dish.有咖喱的菜配米饭最棒。
• Add a teaspoonful of curry powder.加一茶匙咖喱粉。

7 marsh   

n.沼泽，湿地

参考例句：

• There are a lot of frogs in the marsh.沼泽里有许多青蛙。
• I made my way slowly out of the marsh.我缓慢地走出这片沼泽地。

8 horrid   

adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的

参考例句：

• I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
• The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃，她咽不下去。

9 taunting   

嘲讽( taunt的现在分词 )； 嘲弄； 辱骂； 奚落

参考例句：

• She wagged a finger under his nose in a taunting gesture. 她当着他的面嘲弄地摇晃着手指。
• His taunting inclination subdued for a moment by the old man's grief and wildness. 老人的悲伤和狂乱使他那嘲弄的意图暂时收敛起来。

10 caressingly   

爱抚地，亲切地

参考例句：

• His voice was caressingly sweet. 他的嗓音亲切而又甜美。

11 semblance   

n.外貌，外表

参考例句：

• Her semblance of anger frightened the children.她生气的样子使孩子们感到害怕。
• Those clouds have the semblance of a large head.那些云的形状像一个巨大的人头。

12 tints   

色彩( tint的名词复数 )； 带白的颜色； （淡色）染发剂； 痕迹

参考例句：

• leaves with red and gold autumn tints 金秋时节略呈红黄色的树叶
• The whole countryside glowed with autumn tints. 乡间处处呈现出灿烂的秋色。

13 softening   

变软，软化

参考例句：

• Her eyes, softening, caressed his face. 她的眼光变得很温柔了。它们不住地爱抚他的脸。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）
• He might think my brain was softening or something of the kind. 他也许会觉得我婆婆妈妈的，已经成了个软心肠的人了。

14 luster   

n.光辉；光泽，光亮；荣誉

参考例句：

• His great books have added luster to the university where he teaches.他的巨著给他任教的大学增了光。
• Mercerization enhances dyeability and luster of cotton materials.丝光处理扩大棉纤维的染色能力，增加纤维的光泽。

15 sham   

n./adj.假冒(的)，虚伪(的)

参考例句：

• They cunningly played the game of sham peace.他们狡滑地玩弄假和平的把戏。
• His love was a mere sham.他的爱情是虚假的。

16 morbid   

adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的

参考例句：

• Some people have a morbid fascination with crime.一些人对犯罪有一种病态的痴迷。
• It's morbid to dwell on cemeteries and such like.不厌其烦地谈论墓地以及诸如此类的事是一种病态。

17 demon   

n.魔鬼，恶魔

参考例句：

• The demon of greed ruined the miser's happiness.贪得无厌的恶习毁掉了那个守财奴的幸福。
• He has been possessed by the demon of disease for years.他多年来病魔缠身。

18 ignoble   

adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的

参考例句：

• There's something cowardly and ignoble about such an attitude.这种态度有点怯懦可鄙。
• Some very great men have come from ignoble families.有些伟人出身低微。

19 motives   

n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• to impeach sb's motives 怀疑某人的动机
• His motives are unclear. 他的用意不明。

20 gnat   

v.对小事斤斤计较，琐事

参考例句：

• Strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.小事拘谨，大事糊涂。
• He's always straining at a gnat.他总是对小事很拘谨。

21 coveted   

adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图

参考例句：

• He had long coveted the chance to work with a famous musician. 他一直渴望有机会与著名音乐家一起工作。
• Ther other boys coveted his new bat. 其他的男孩都想得到他的新球棒。 来自《简明英汉词典》

22 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。

23 tantalizing   

adj.逗人的；惹弄人的；撩人的；煽情的v.逗弄，引诱，折磨( tantalize的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• This was my first tantalizing glimpse of the islands. 这是我第一眼看见的这些岛屿的动人美景。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• We have only vague and tantalizing glimpses of his power. 我们只能隐隐约约地领略他的威力，的确有一种可望不可及的感觉。 来自英汉非文学 - 历史

24 riddles   

n.谜（语）( riddle的名词复数 )；猜不透的难题，难解之谜

参考例句：

• Few riddles collected from oral tradition, however, have all six parts. 但是据收集的情况看，口头流传的谜语很少具有这完整的六部分。 来自英汉非文学 - 民俗
• But first, you'd better see if you can answer riddles. 但是你首先最好想想你会不会猜谜语。 来自辞典例句

25 virtuous   

adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的

参考例句：

• She was such a virtuous woman that everybody respected her.她是个有道德的女性，人人都尊敬她。
• My uncle is always proud of having a virtuous wife.叔叔一直为娶到一位贤德的妻子而骄傲。

26 sift   

v.筛撒，纷落，详察

参考例句：

• Sift out the wheat from the chaff.把小麦的壳筛出来。
• Sift sugar on top of the cake.在蛋糕上面撒上糖。

27 postal   

adj.邮政的，邮局的

参考例句：

• A postal network now covers the whole country.邮路遍及全国。
• Remember to use postal code.勿忘使用邮政编码。

28 ornaments   

n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• The shelves were chock-a-block with ornaments. 架子上堆满了装饰品。
• Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments. 一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。 来自《简明英汉词典》