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to make light of them, they hurt all the same. She knew that under happier auspices9 she might have been friendly with Hilda Browne, Iris10 Watson, Louise Mawson, and several others of whom Father would have approved, and whom, with his entire sanction, she might have invited occasionally to the Parsonage. She was aware that she was in the worst set in the Form, and that not one of her new chums would pass muster11 if judged according to her home standards.
"I can't ever ask them, that's all," she declared. "Annie's giggles12 would give Beatrice a fit, Millicent puts on side horribly, Minna would probably make fun of everything, Claire Harris is absolutely vulgar, and as for Netta—no! Dad mustn't see Netta on any account."
Another not unexpected trouble had fallen to Gwen's share. As a member of the Upper Fourth she had, at the beginning of the term, been chosen Junior Basket-ball Captain, to arrange Lower School team games and matches, and she had worked very hard to get things going. On her promotion, however, it had been a greatly discussed point whether she should resign or finish the season. Some of the Upper Fourth, knowing how much was due to Gwen's exertions13, had been anxious for her to retain her post, but on the whole the popular verdict was against her. To Gwen's disgust, her old friends, Eve Dawkins and Alma Richardson, were the loudest in her disfavour, and it was chiefly owing to their eloquence14 that she was requested to resign. She had been proud of her captaincy, and to give it up was a wrench15. There seemed nothing at all in her new Form to compensate16
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for the loss, and sometimes she wished heartily17 that she had never been moved.
The present excitement in the Fifth was a "Literary and Dramatic Club", the members of which intended to act a piece at Christmas. It was a rather cliquish18 society, worked with more favour than fairness, and was principally among those girls whose homes lay near to the school.
"They stay behind at four o'clock to rehearse," explained Netta. "It's really only among about half a dozen."
"Are you in it?" queried19 Gwen.
"I, my dear child? Hardly! You don't imagine the high and mighty20 Iris Watson would ask yours truly? Saints and sinners don't mix in this Form, if you please!"
"Do you mean to tell me the whole thing is in the hands of Iris and a few others?"
"With your usual astuteness21 you've hit the nail on the head."
"But that's monstrously22 unfair!" exclaimed Gwen indignantly. "A Dramatic Club ought to be for the whole Form. Everybody ought to have an innings, in the name of common justice."
Netta shrugged23 her shoulders.
"I don't want to act with Iris and Edith and Louise, thank you! A pleasant performance it would be! They may keep their precious piece to themselves, so far as I'm concerned."
"But that's not the point," persisted Gwen. "It's the fairness of the thing I'm talking about. One set has no right to monopolize24 everything."
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"It is sickening, certainly."
"It's worse than sickening, it's intolerable, and I'm going to make a stand against it."
"You can try if you like, but you needn't expect success."
When Gwen had a cause to champion, she was ready for a fight, even on the losing side. One of her characteristics was a strong sense of justice, and here, she considered, was a distinct case of oppression. She thought over her plan of campaign, and decided that she would ask to be admitted to the Dramatic Club. Next morning, accordingly, she approached the five or six girls who constituted that society.
"Want to join our Dramatic Club!" exclaimed Louise Mawson almost incredulously. "I dare say you do!"
"But you won't!" said Hilda Browne quickly.
"Cheek!" ejaculated Rachel Hunter.
"Why shouldn't I join?"
"On the other hand, why should you?"
"Because a society ought to be open to the whole Form, and not just kept amongst a few. We didn't manage things like that in the Upper Fourth."
"How very kind of you, fresh from the Juniors, to come and give us Seniors a lesson in managing our affairs! Perhaps you'd like to be President? Would that content you?" enquired25 Hilda Browne sarcastically26.
"I don't want to be President, but I claim the right to have some say in the matter. The thing ought to be properly constituted, and every girl in the Form ought to vote for officers."
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"Well, of all cool proposals!"
"Look here, Gwen Gascoyne, you need suppressing!"
"She's not worth noticing!"
It was only what Gwen had expected, but she felt she had at any rate opened fire. She did not mean to retire vanquished27 after a first attempt. She now directed her energies to another quarter. She canvassed28 the entire Form, asking each girl separately if she did not consider the Dramatic Club ought to be put upon a general basis. Everybody, except those who were already members, agreed. Many had thought the present arrangement unfair, and had grumbled29 loudly, though nobody had had the initiative to start a revolt. Now Joan Masters and Elspeth Frazer took the matter in hand seriously, tackled the clique30, and argued the question.
"You may run a private club if you like for your own amusement," said Elspeth, "but if you're going to call it 'The Fifth Form Dramatic', and give a performance before the other Forms at Christmas, then it must be a fair and open thing. Everyone must be eligible31 for membership, and officers should be chosen by ballot32."
"Half of you wouldn't be able to join," declared Hilda Browne.
"That's our own lookout33. The point is that we ought to be able to do so if we want. If you persist in keeping it all to yourselves, you may act without an audience, for none of us will come to see you, and we'll tell the other Forms what the quarrel is."
"I know they'd back us up," said Joan Masters.
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Very unwillingly34 the clique gave way. They knew they had no just ground for their position, but they had hoped it would not be called in question.
"It's all the fault of Gwen Gascoyne, with her Lower School notions," said Rachel Hunter.
"She needn't think she's going to act!" asserted Edith Arnold.
"Don't want to!" rapped out Gwen, who happened to overhear. "I should miss the bus if I stayed behind after four. I only wanted to see things made fair and square."
Though the new arrangements were really owing to Gwen's enterprise, nobody was willing to accord her any thanks. Joan Masters and Elspeth Frazer received all the credit for having righted the wrong; and though a few might remember that Gwen had started the movement, they were almost ready to agree with Rachel Hunter that it was rather pushing of an ex-Junior to have taken so much upon herself. They had not yet forgiven her translation to the Fifth, and only the utmost humility35 on her part would have reconciled them. Humility was certainly not Gwen's characteristic, so she still went by the epithet36 of "that cheeky kid" in the Form.
"So much for their gratitude," confided37 Gwen to Lesbia. "I don't want to act, but some of those who have got into the play might at least acknowledge what I've done for them."
"They seem a hateful set!" sympathized Lesbia.
"Detestable!" said Gwen with unction.
One thing had not been settled by the Dramatic Society, and that was their choice of a President.
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Names were canvassed freely in the Form, and finally Hilda Browne and Elspeth Frazer were put up as candidates. Voting was to be by ballot during the interval38, but while the papers were being given out Gwen bolted. She was feeling cross and forlorn, and sick of the whole affair.
"I don't mind who's chosen President," she thought "It makes no difference to me. They may elect whom they like."
So she went a solitary39 little walk round the playground, whistling a tune40, and trying to look as if she didn't care about anything. She had not been there very long before she saw Betty Brierley and Ida Young signalling to her from the gymnasium door. She took no notice of their beckonings, whereupon they ran after her, and seizing her one by each arm, began to drag her towards the house.
"You're wanted most particularly, Gwen Gascoyne!" said Betty excitedly.
"We've been sent to fetch you quick!" chimed in Ida.
"Hello! Hands off!" cried Gwen, dragging herself from their grasp. "What do you want with me, I should like to know?"
"It's the others who want you."
"What for? Didn't know I was so popular!"
"You've not voted for a President yet."
"No, and I don't mean to, either."
"But, Gwen, you must! We've taken the ballot, and the votes are exactly even. You've got the casting vote!"
"Have I, indeed? No, thank you! It's rather too great an honour!"
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"But look here, Gwen, it's the only way to decide it. We've got to choose either Elspeth or Hilda."
"Then you may fight it out amongst you. You don't suppose, when you've all voted by ballot, that I'm going to take the responsibility of a casting vote. It's a most unfair proposal. Why, the rejected candidate and all on her side would never forgive me!"
"We might have the ballot again," suggested Betty. "Then you need only put your cross."
"As if everybody wouldn't know who was responsible for the extra cross! I might as well write Gwen Gascoyne on my paper at once! It's no use pulling my arm; I'm not coming in to be made a cat's paw. You may go and tell the others so if you like."
Betty and Ida departed, grumbling41 loudly at Gwen's "unaccommodatingness", as they called it, and Gwen stayed in the playground until the bell rang, fuming42 with indignation. Every fresh little episode seemed to serve to make her more of an alien in the Form than ever. But here her decision was absolutely justifiable43; not one of the girls would have cared to accept the unenviable role which they had wished to thrust upon her. Perhaps for that very reason they were all the more annoyed at her action. She was received with black looks when she re-entered the classroom. Elspeth Frazer whispered something to a friend, and turned away. Gwen could not quite hear, but it sounded painfully like "beast!"
"Have they settled it?" she asked Netta.
"Yes; Elspeth and Hilda drew lots, and Hilda won. I'm fearfully sorry she did. Elspeth says it's
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all your fault, and that you ought to have voted for her when you'd made such a fuss about the clique."
"Would you have given a casting vote yourself?"
"Well, no; but if you'd only stayed and voted by ballot like everyone else, then nobody would have known who'd given the odd one. It was most stupid of you to rush away. You're rather an idiot, Gwen Gascoyne!"
"'Et tu, Brute44! Then fall, Cæsar!' I'm like the old man and his ass4 in Æsop; I seem to end by pleasing nobody."
"Do you wish to compare yourself with the old man or the quadruped, my child? The latter's the more apt, certainly!"
"Oh, good night!" said Gwen, who was getting the worst of it "I wish sometimes I'd never come into your wretched Form."
"You'd be far more at home among the Juniors!" snapped Netta, rather out of temper.
A few days after this was the Rodenhurst Annual Distribution of Prizes. It was always held in the beginning of November, rather an unusual date, to be sure, but Miss Roscoe found it convenient in many ways to have it in the middle of the autumn term. It gave plenty of time to receive examiners' reports, and to chronicle successes in the July examinations, but on the other hand it did not interfere45 with Christmas celebrations.
The function took place in the Town Hall at Stedburgh, and there was invariably a large gathering46 of parents and friends. To the whole school it seemed an important occasion, and both Gwen and Lesbia
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were full of excitement when the afternoon arrived.
"Not that I need alarm myself that I shall be called upon to walk up and receive a prize!" said Lesbia. "Never got one in my life, and never shall!"
"You might get the Sewing or the Holiday Competitions," said Gwen, trying to be encouraging.
"No fear! One genius is enough in a family! I'll go prepared to clap you!"
All the girls wore white dresses and blue hair ribbons, and made quite an imposing47 array as they sat in the central aisle48 of the large room at the Town Hall.
"There seem to be far more of us when we're in white!" said Gwen. "We don't look half so many in the lecture hall at school. Have a few little angels crept in unawares?"
"You're not one of them, at any rate," laughed Netta, who was sitting next to her.
To Gwen the great feature of the occasion was that Father was seated on the platform, in company with several other clergymen and the Mayor, who was to distribute the prizes. Beatrice was amongst the audience, and had brought Martin with her, and Giles and Basil had come with the Boys' contingent49. All her family were present, and if she were to get a prize, how pleased they would be!
The proceedings50 began with the usual speeches from the chairman and others. Gwen had heard these every year, and they were always pretty much on the same theme. It is hard to be original at prize-givings, and the gentlemen who had been asked to "say a few words" might be forgiven if their remarks were some
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what hackneyed. Miss Roscoe read the examiners' report on the school, and the successes in the Matriculation and the Senior and Junior Oxfords. These the girls knew already, so, though they clapped heartily, it did not cause much excitement. Everyone was waiting in suspense51 for the prize list.
Miss Roscoe always began with the lowest Form, so the first to walk up to the platform was a small kindergarten child, who had won honours for "general improvement". Neither Giles nor Basil had any luck; they were too erratic52 to be serious students, but when it came to the turn of the Middle Second, Lesbia Gascoyne was awarded the prize for plain sewing. A perfect storm of clapping greeted pretty Lesbia as she returned down the hall to her place. She was a tremendous favourite at Rodenhurst, and Seniors and Juniors alike applauded. It was the first time she had ever distinguished53 herself in any way, and though it was only for plain sewing, the girls were ready to give her an ovation54. At last the Upper Fourth was reached, and Gwen knew that as she had taken her exams with her old Form (the Middle Fourth it had been in July) her name would be still on that list.
"First prize for Mathematics, Gwen Gascoyne," read Miss Roscoe.
Gwen's heart thumped55, for a moment she did not move, till Netta gave her an admonishing56 push, then she walked up the hall. The Mayor handed her a volume of Coleridge's poems, handsomely bound in calf57, and emblazoned with the school arms; he smiled pleasantly as he did so, and added a word of compliment. Gwen murmured "Thank you", and turned
[72]
away. Father was clapping his loudest on the platform, and there was a nervous little applause from the rest of the family and from Netta, but that was all. Not a single girl in either Gwen's old Form or her new one gave her the least sign of appreciation58. The colour flamed into her face as she made her way back to her seat. It is hard at any time to be unpopular, but it is a cruel thing when the lack of favour is displayed before a public audience. Gwen stuck her nose in the air, and put on the most defiant59, don't care expression she could assume, but she felt the slight deeply, especially when she heard the hearty60 reception given to Iris Watson, who had won the Languages medal.
"Never mind, childie!" said Mr. Gascoyne, when at "good night" time that evening, in the safe sanctuary61 of Father's study, she broke down, and burst out crying; "you did your best, and you deserved your prize. That's the main thing!"
"I shall hate the prize now!" sobbed62 Gwen. "I can't bear to look at it; it will always remind me of this horrid63 afternoon. Why should they have been so nasty to me? They clapped Lesbia!"
"Gwen, you're not jealous?" Father's voice was just a trifle anxious.
"No, no!" gulped64 Gwen emphatically. "Lesbia's a darling; I don't wonder people are fond of her. But oh, Dad, it is hard sometimes to be left out in the cold!"
"Very hard. Many older and wiser people than you have felt that. Yet to bear neglect well is one of the bravest things in life. Don't worry about not
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being appreciated; your own self-respect is worth more to you than the opinion of other people. If you're quite sure you're doing your duty, you can afford to ignore what the world thinks."
"I don't know why I should be so unpopular," sighed Gwen, squeezing Father's hand tightly, and rubbing her cheek against his coat sleeve, as if there were something comforting in the very feel of the cloth.
"You must live it down. It may take a long time, and a great deal of patience, but I'm sure you'll win, and the girls will be proud of you yet."
"Proud! They may get to tolerate me, but I don't believe I'll ever make them like me, Daddy!"
"Courage! We never know what we can do till we try. If you want to be liked, make yourself wanted. Good night, childie! Cheer up! The world's not such a bad place, after all."
"Not while you're in it!" said Gwen, kissing the dear, plain face that was so like her own.
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1
beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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promotion
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| n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传 | |
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intruding
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| v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的现在分词)；把…强加于 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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auspices
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| n.资助，赞助 | |
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iris
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| n.虹膜，彩虹 | |
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muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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giggles
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| n.咯咯的笑( giggle的名词复数 )；傻笑；玩笑；the giggles 止不住的格格笑v.咯咯地笑( giggle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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exertions
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| n.努力( exertion的名词复数 )；费力；（能力、权力等的）运用；行使 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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wrench
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| v.猛拧；挣脱；使扭伤；n.扳手；痛苦，难受 | |
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compensate
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| vt.补偿，赔偿；酬报 vi.弥补；补偿；抵消 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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cliquish
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| adj.小集团的 | |
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queried
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| v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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astuteness
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| n.敏锐；精明；机敏 | |
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monstrously
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shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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monopolize
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enquired
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sarcastically
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| adv.挖苦地，讽刺地 | |
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vanquished
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| v.征服( vanquish的过去式和过去分词 )；战胜；克服；抑制 | |
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canvassed
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| v.（在政治方面）游说( canvass的过去式和过去分词 )；调查（如选举前选民的）意见；为讨论而提出（意见等）；详细检查 | |
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grumbled
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| 抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声 | |
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clique
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| n.朋党派系，小集团 | |
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eligible
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| adj.有条件被选中的；(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的 | |
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ballot
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| n.（不记名）投票，投票总数，投票权；vi.投票 | |
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lookout
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unwillingly
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humility
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epithet
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| n.（用于褒贬人物等的）表述形容词，修饰语 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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grumbling
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| adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
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fuming
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| 愤怒( fume的现在分词 )； 大怒； 发怒； 冒烟 | |
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justifiable
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| adj.有理由的，无可非议的 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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aisle
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| n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道 | |
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contingent
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| adj.视条件而定的；n.一组，代表团，分遣队 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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erratic
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| adj.古怪的，反复无常的，不稳定的 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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ovation
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| n.欢呼，热烈欢迎，热烈鼓掌 | |
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thumped
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| v.重击， （指心脏）急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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admonishing
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| v.劝告( admonish的现在分词 )；训诫；（温和地）责备；轻责 | |
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57
calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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61
sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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62
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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63
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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64
gulped
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| v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的过去式和过去分词 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住 | |
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