Being naturally a straightforward1 man, and not gifted with much power in the way of plotting and scheming, Captain Wopper began in time to discover that he had plunged2 his mental faculties3 into a disagreeable state of confusion.
“Gillie, my lad,” he said, looking earnestly at his satellite while they walked one afternoon along the Bayswater road in the direction of Kensington, “it’s a bad business altogether.”
Gillie, not having the smallest idea what the Captain referred to, admitted that it was “wery bad indeed,” but suggested that “it might be wuss.”
“It’s such a perplexin’ state o’ things,” pursued the Captain, “to be always bouncin’ up an’ down wi’ hopes, an’ fears, an’ disappointments, like a mad barometer4, not knowin’ rightly what’s what or who’s who.”
“Uncommon perplexin’,” assented5 Gillie. “If I was you, Cappen, I’d heave the barometer overboard along wi’ the main-deck, nail yer colours to the mast, cram6 the rudder into the lee-scuppers, kick up your flyin’-jib-boom into the new moon, an’ go down stern foremost like a man!”
“Ha!” said the Captain, with a twinkle in the corner of his “weather-eye,” “not a bad notion.”
“Now, my lad, I’m goin’ out to my villa7 at Kensington to dine. There’s to be company, too, an’ you’re to be waiter—”
“Stooard, you mean?”
“Well, yes—stooard. Now, stooard, you’ll keep a good look-out, an’ clap as tight a stopper on yer tongue as may be. I’ve got a little plot in hand, d’ee see, an’ I want you to help me with it. Keep your eye in a quiet way on Dr Lawrence and Miss Gray. I’ve taken a fancy that perhaps they may be in love with each other. You just let me have your opinion on that pint8 after dinner, but have a care that you don’t show what you’re up to, and, whatever you do, don’t be cheeky.”
“All right,” said the stooard, thrusting both hands into his trouser-pockets; “I’ll do my best.”
While these two were slowly wending their way through Kensington Gardens, Emma Gray arrived at the Captain’s villa—California Cottage, he called it—and rang the bell. The gate was opened by Netta White, who, although not much bigger than when first introduced to the reader, was incomparably more beautiful and smart. Mrs Stoutley had reason to be proud of her.
“I did not know that you were to be here, Netta?” said Emma, in surprise, as she entered.
“It was a very sudden call, Miss,” said Netta, with a smile. “Captain Wopper wrote a note to me, begging me to ask Mrs Stoutley to be so good as lend me to him for a day to help at his house-warming. Here is the letter, Miss.”
Emma laughed as she glanced carelessly at the epistle, but became suddenly grave, turned white, then red, and, snatching the letter from the girl’s hand, gazed at it intently.
“La! Miss, is anything wrong?”
“May I keep this?” asked Emma.
“Certainly, Miss, if you wish it.”
Before she could say anything more, they were interrupted by the entrance of Dr Lawrence. With a surprised look and smile he said—
“I have been invited to dine with our friend Captain Wopper, but did not anticipate the pleasure of meeting Miss Gray here.”
Emma explained that she also had been invited to dine with the Captain, along with her mother and brother, but had supposed that that was all the party, as he, the Captain, had mentioned no one else, and had been particular in begging her to come an hour before the time, for the purpose of going over his new villa with him, and giving him her private opinion of it.
“I am punctual,” she added, consulting her watch; “it is just four o’clock.”
“Four! Then what is the dinner hour?”
“Five,” answered Emma.
“The Captain’s wits must have been wool-gathering,” rejoined Lawrence, with a laugh. “He told me to come punctually at four. However, I rejoice in the mistake, as it gives me the great pleasure of assisting you to form an unprejudiced opinion of the merits of the new villa. Shall we begin with an exploration of the garden?”
Emma had no cause to blush at such an innocent proposal, nevertheless a richer colour than usual mantled10 on her modest little face as she fell in with the Doctor’s humour and stepped out into the small piece of ground behind the house.
It was of very limited extent and, although not surrounded too closely by other villas11, was nevertheless thoroughly12 overlooked by them, so that seclusion13 in that garden was impossible. Recognising this fact, a former proprietor14 had erected15 at the lower end of the garden a bower16 so contrived17 that its interior was invisible from all points except one, and that was a side door to the garden which opened on a little passage by which coals, milk, meat, and similar substances were conveyed from the front to the rear of the house.
Dr Lawrence and Emma walked round and round the garden very slowly, conversing18 earnestly. Strange to say, they quite forgot the object which had taken them there. Their talk was solely19 of Switzerland. As it continued, the Doctor’s voice deepened in tones and interest, and his fair companion’s cheek deepened in colour. Suddenly they turned into the bower. As they did so, Gillie White chanced to appear at the garden door above referred to, which stood ajar. The spider’s countenance20 was a speaking one. During the five minutes which it appeared in the doorway21, it, and the body belonging to it, became powerfully eloquent22. It might have conveyed to one’s mind, as it were, a series of tableaux23 vivants. Gillie’s first look was as if he had been struck dumb with amazement24 (that was Lawrence suddenly seizing one of Emma’s hands in both of his and looking intently into her face). Then Gillie’s look of amazement gave place to one of intense, quite touching—we might almost say sympathetic—anxiety as he placed a hand on each knee and stooped (that was the Doctor’s right hand stealing round Emma’s waist, and Emma shrinking from him with averted25 face). The urchin’s visage suddenly lighted up with a blaze of triumph, and he seized his cap as if about to cheer (that was the Doctor’s superior strength prevailing26, and Emma’s head, now turned the other way, laid on his shoulder). All at once Gillie went into quiet convulsions, grinned from ear to ear, doubled himself up, slapped his thigh27 inaudibly—à la Captain Wopper—and otherwise behaved like an outrageous28, yet self-restrained, maniac29 (that was—well, we have no right to say what that was). As a faithful chronicler, however, we must report that one-half minute later the stooard found Captain Wopper in the villa drawing-room, and there stated to him that it was “hall right; that he didn’t need for to perplex hisself about Doctor Lawrence and Miss Hemma Gray, for that they was as good as spliced30 already, having been seen by him, Gillie, in the bower at the end of the garding a-blushin’ and a—” Here the spider stopped short and went into another fit of convulsions—this time unrestrained.
Is it necessary to say that Captain Wopper sat at the foot of his own table that day—Mrs Stoutley being at the head—with his rugged31 visage radiant and his powerful voice explosive; that he told innumerable sea-stories without point, and laughed at them without propriety32; that, in the excess of his hilarity33, he drank a mysterious toast to the success of all sorts of engagements, present and future; that he called Mrs Stoutley (in joke) sister, and Emma and Lewis (also in joke) niece and neffy; that he called Doctor Lawrence neffy, too, with a pointedness34 and a sense of its being the richest possible joke, that covered with confusion the affianced pair; and with surprise the rest of the company; that he kicked the stooard amicably35 out of the room for indulging in explosions of laughter behind his chair, and recommending him, the Captain, to go it strong, and to clap on sail till he should tear the mast out of ’er, or git blowed on his beam-ends; that the stooard returned unabashed to repeat the offence unreproved; that towards the end, the Captain began a long-winded graphic36 story which served to show how his good friend and chum Willum Stout9 in Callyforny had commissioned him to buy and furnish a villa for the purpose of presenting it to a certain young lady in token of his gratitood to her for bein’ such a good and faithful correspondent to him, Willum, while he was in furrin’ parts; also, how he was commissioned to buy and furnish another villa and present it to a certain doctor whose father had saved him from drownin’ long long ago, he would not say how long ago; and how that this villa, in which they was feedin’, was one of the said villas, and that he found it quite unnecessary to spend any more of Willum’s hard-earned gains in the purchase of the other villa, owing to circumstances which had took place in a certain bower that very day! Is it necessary, we again ask, to detail all this? We think not; therefore, we won’t.
When reference was made to the bower, Emma could stand, or sit, it no longer. She rose hastily and ran blushing into the garden. Captain Wopper uttered a thunderous laugh, rose and ran after her. He found her in the bower with her face in her hands, and sat down beside her.
“Captain Wopper,” she suddenly exclaimed, looking up and drawing a note from her pocket, “do you know this?”
“Yes, duckie,” (the Captain was quite reckless now), “it’s my last billy-doo to Netta White. I never was good at pot-hooks and hangers37.”
“And do you know this letter?” said Emma, holding up to the seaman’s eyes her uncle William’s last letter to herself.
The Captain looked surprised, then became suddenly red and confused.
“W’y—ye–es, it’s Willum’s, ain’t it?”
“The same pot-hooks and hangers precisely38!” said Emma, “are they not? Oh!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms round the Captain’s neck and kissing him, “uncle William, how could you deceive us so?”
The Captain, to use his own expressions, was taken aback—fairly brought up all standin’.
It had never occurred to his innocent mind that he should commit himself so simply. He felt an unconquerable objection to expressions of gratitude39, and perceiving, with deep foresight40 that such were impending41, his first impulse was to rise and fly, but Emma’s kiss made him change his mind. He returned it in kind but not in degree, for it caused the bower to resound42 as with a pistol shot.
“Oh! wot a cracker43, ain’t it just? you’re a nice man, ain’t you, to go poachin’ on other fellers—”
The Captain seized his opportunity, he broke from Emma and dashed wildly at the spider, who incontinently fled down the conduit for coals, cheering with the fury of a victorious44 Ashantee chief!
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1
straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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2
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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barometer
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| n.气压表，睛雨表，反应指标 | |
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assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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cram
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| v.填塞，塞满，临时抱佛脚，为考试而学习 | |
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7
villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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mantled
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| 披着斗篷的，覆盖着的 | |
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villas
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| 别墅，公馆( villa的名词复数 )； （城郊）住宅 | |
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12
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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14
proprietor
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| n.所有人；业主；经营者 | |
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15
ERECTED
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| adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立 | |
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bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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17
contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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18
conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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20
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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21
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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22
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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23
tableaux
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| n.舞台造型，（由活人扮演的）静态画面、场面；人构成的画面或场景( tableau的名词复数 )；舞台造型；戏剧性的场面；绚丽的场景 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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25
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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prevailing
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| adj.盛行的；占优势的；主要的 | |
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thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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maniac
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| n.精神癫狂的人；疯子 | |
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30
spliced
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| adj.（针织品）加固的n.叠接v.绞接( splice的过去式和过去分词 )；捻接（两段绳子）；胶接；粘接（胶片、磁带等） | |
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31
rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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32
propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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33
hilarity
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| n.欢乐；热闹 | |
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34
pointedness
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| n.尖角，尖锐；棱角 | |
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35
amicably
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| adv.友善地 | |
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graphic
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| adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的 | |
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37
hangers
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| n.衣架( hanger的名词复数 )；挂耳 | |
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38
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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39
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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40
foresight
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| n.先见之明，深谋远虑 | |
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41
impending
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| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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42
resound
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| v.回响 | |
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43
cracker
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| n.（无甜味的）薄脆饼干 | |
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44
victorious
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| adj.胜利的，得胜的 | |
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