“Now, lads, wot have ye got to say?”
“My friends,” began Jack1, standing2 up and balancing himself on his one leg as well as he could, at the same time speaking with the utmost gravity and candour of expression, “my companion here in temporary distress—for I feel that it will be but temporary—has devolved upon me the interesting duty of making known to you the secret which has burthened his own mind for some time, and which has had so impressive and appropriate an effect upon yours. But first I must request you to lock the door, and hang the key on this nail at my elbow. You hesitate. Why? I am in chains; so is my comrade. We are two; you are four. It is merely a precaution to prevent the possibility of any one entering by stealth, and overhearing what I say.”
The man with the battered4 face locked the door, and hung up the key as directed, merely remarking, with a laugh, that we were safe enough anyhow, and that if we were humbugging him it would be worse for us in the long-run.
“Come, now, out with yer secret,” he added, impatiently.
“Certainly,” answered Jack, with increased urbanity, at the same time taking down the key, (which caused the four men to start), and gazing at it in a pensive5 manner. “The secret! Ah! yes. Well, it’s a wonderful one. D’you know, my lads, there would not be the most distant chance of your guessing it, if you were to try ever so much?”
“Well, but what is it?” cried one of the men, whose curiosity was now excited beyond endurance.
“It is this,” rejoined Jack, with slow deliberation, “that you four men are—”
“Well,” they whispered, leaning forward eagerly.
“The most outrageous6 and unmitigated asses7 we ever saw! Ha! I thought it would surprise you. Bob and I are quite agreed upon it. Pray don’t open your eyes too wide, in case you should find it difficult to shut them again. Now, in proof of this great, and to you important truth, let me show you a thing. Do you see this torch,” (taking it down), “and that straw?” (lifting up a handful), “Well, you have no idea what an astonishing result will follow the application of the former to the latter—see!”
To my horror, and evidently to the dismay of the men, who did not seem to believe that he was in earnest, Jack Brown thrust the blazing torch into the centre of the heap of straw.
The men uttered a yell, and rushing forward, threw themselves on the smoking heap in the hope of smothering8 it at once. But Jack applied9 the torch quickly to various parts. The flames leaped up! The men rolled off in agony. Jack, who somehow had managed to break his chain, hopped10 after them, showering the blazing straw on their heads, and yelling as never mortal yelled before. In two seconds the whole place was in a blaze, and I beheld11 Jack actually throwing somersets with his one leg over the fire and through the smoke; punching the heads of the four men most unmercifully; catching12 up blazing handfuls of straw, and thrusting them into their eyes and mouths in a way that quite overpowered me. I could restrain myself no longer. I began to roar in abject13 terror! In the midst of this dreadful scene the roof fell in with a hideous14 crash, and Jack, bounding through the smoking débris, cleared the walls and vanished!
At the same moment I received a dreadful blow on the side, and awoke—to find myself lying on the floor of my bedroom, and our man-servant Edwards furiously beating the bed-curtains, which I had set on fire by upsetting the candle in my fall.
“Why, Master Robert,” gasped15 Edwards, sitting down and panting vehemently16, after having extinguished the flames, “wot have you been a-doin’ of?” I was standing speechless in the midst of my upset chair, table, and books, glaring wildly, when the man said this.
“Edwards,” I replied, with deep solemnity, “the mystery’s cleared up at last. It has been all a dream!”
“Wot’s been all a dream? You hain’t bin17 a bed all night, for the clo’se is never touched, an’ its broad daylight. Wot has bin up?”
I might have replied, that, according to his own statement, I had been “up,” but I did not. I began gradually to believe that the dreadful scenes I had witnessed were not reality; and an overpowering sense of joy kept filling my heart as I continued to glare at the man until I thought my chest would rend18 asunder19. Suddenly, and without moving hand, foot, or eye, I gave vent3 to a loud, sharp, “Hurrah20!”
Edwards started—“Eh?”
“Hurrah! hurrah! it’s a Dream!”
“Hallo! I say, you know, come, this won’t—”
“Hurrah!”
“Bless my ’art, Master Ro—”
Again I interrupted him by seizing my cap, swinging it round my head in an ecstasy21 of delight, and uttering cheer upon cheer with such outrageous vehemence22, that Edwards, who thought me raving23 mad, crept towards the door, intending to bolt.
He was prevented from carrying out his intention, and violently overturned by the entrance of my father in dishabille. I sprang forward, plucked the spectacles off his nose, threw my arms round his neck, and kissed him on both eyes.
“Bob, my dear boy!”
At this moment Jack, also in dishabille, rushed in. “Hallo! Bob, what’s all the row?”
I experienced a different, but equally powerful gush25 of feeling on seeing my friend. Leaving my father, I rushed towards him, and, falling on his neck, burst into tears. Yes, I confess it without shame. Reader, if you had felt as I did, you would have done the same.
Jack led me gently to my bed, and, seating me on the edge of it, sat down beside me. I at once perceived from their looks that they all thought me mad, and felt the necessity of calming me before taking more forcible measures. This tickled26 me so much that I laughed again heartily27, insomuch that Jack could not help joining me. Suddenly a thought flashed into my mind. My heart leaped to my throat, and I glanced downwards28. It was there! I seized Jack’s right leg, tumbled him back into the bed, and laying the limb across my knee, grasped it violently.
Jack roared. “I say, Bob, gently—”
“Ho! ah! don’t!”
“And that?”
“Stop him! I say, my dear boy, have mercy?” Jack tried to raise himself, but I tilted31 him back, and, grasping the limb in both arms, hugged it.
After breakfast Jack and I retired32 to my room, where, the weather being unfavourable for our fishing excursion, I went all over it again in detail. After that I sent Jack off to amuse himself as he chose, and, seizing a quire of foolscap, mended a pen, squared my elbows, and began to write this remarkable33 account of the reason why I did not become a sailor.
I now present it to the juvenile34 public, in the hope that it may prove a warning to all boys who venture to entertain the notion of running away from home and going to sea.
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1
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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2
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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4
battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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pensive
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| a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的 | |
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outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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7
asses
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| n. 驴，愚蠢的人，臀部 adv. (常用作后置)用于贬损或骂人 | |
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8
smothering
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的现在分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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hopped
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| 跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 )； 单足蹦跳； 齐足（或双足）跳行； 摘葎草花 | |
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11
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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12
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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bin
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| n.箱柜；vt.放入箱内；[计算机] DOS文件名:二进制目标文件 | |
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18
rend
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| vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取 | |
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asunder
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| adj.分离的，化为碎片 | |
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hurrah
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| int.好哇，万岁，乌拉 | |
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21
ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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vehemence
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| n.热切；激烈；愤怒 | |
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23
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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24
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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25
gush
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| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
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tickled
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| （使）发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）愉快，逗乐 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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downwards
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| adj./adv.向下的（地），下行的（地） | |
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supple
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| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
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thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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31
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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32
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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33
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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juvenile
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| n.青少年，少年读物；adj.青少年的，幼稚的 | |
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