Of Which it is Written: “In Shallow Water Dragons become the Laughing-stock of Shrimps”
At an early gong-stroke of the following day Kai Lung was finally brought up for judgment1 in accordance with the venomous scheme of the reptilian2 Ming-shu. In order to obscure their guilty plans all justice-loving persons were excluded from the court, so that when the story-teller was led in by a single guard he saw before him only the two whose enmity he faced, and one who stood at a distance prepared to serve their purpose.
“Committer of every infamy4 and inceptor of nameless crimes,” began Ming-shu, moistening his brush, “in the past, by the variety of discreditable subterfuges5, you have parried the stroke of a just retribution. On this occasion, however, your admitted powers of evasion6 will avail you nothing. By a special form of administration, designed to meet such cases, your guilt3 will be taken as proved. The technicalities of passing sentence and seeing it carried out will follow automatically.”
“In spite of the urgency of the case,” remarked the Mandarin7, with an assumption of the evenly-balanced expression that at one time threatened to obtain for him the title of “The Just”, “there is one detail which must not be ignored—especially as our ruling will doubtless become a lantern to the feet of later ones. You appear, malefactor8, to have committed crimes—and of all these you have been proved guilty by the ingenious arrangement invoked9 by the learned recorder of my spoken word—which render you liable to hanging, slicing, pressing, boiling, roasting, grilling11, freezing, vatting12, racking, twisting, drawing, compressing, inflating13, rending14, spiking15, gouging16, limb-tying, piecemeal-pruning and a variety of less tersely17 describable discomforts18 with which the time of this court need not be taken up. The important consideration is, in what order are we to proceed and when, if ever, are we to stop?”
“Under your benumbing eye, Excellence19,” suggested Ming-shu resourcefully, “the precedent20 of taking first that for which the written sign is the longest might be established. Failing that, the names of all the various punishments might be inscribed21 on separate shreds22 of parchment and these deposited within your state umbrella. The first withdrawn23 by an unbiased—”
“High Excellence,” Kai Lung ventured to interrupt, “a further plan suggests itself which—”
“If,” exclaimed Ming-shu in irrational24 haste, “if the criminal proposes to narrate25 a story of one who in like circumstances—”
“Peace!” interposed Shan Tien tactfully. “The felon26 will only be allowed the usual ten short measures of time for his suggestion, nor must he, under that guise27, endeavour to insert an imagined tale.”
“Your ruling shall keep straight my bending feet, munificence,” replied Kai Lung. “Hear now my simplifying way. In place of cited wrongs—which, after all, are comparatively trivial matters, as being merely offences against another or in defiance29 of a local usage—substitute one really overwhelming crime for which the penalty is sharp and explicit30.”
“To that end you would suggest—?” Uncertainty31 sat upon the brow of both Shan Tien and Ming-shu.
“To straighten out the entangled32 thread this person would plead guilty to the act—in a lesser33 capacity and against his untrammelled will—of rejoicing musically on a day set apart for universal woe34: a crime aimed directly at the sacred person of the Sublime35 Head and all those of his Line.”
At this significant admission the Mandarin’s expression faded; he stroked the lower part of his face several times and unostentatiously indicated to the two attendants that they should retire to a more distant obscurity. Then he spoke10.
“It is useless to raise a cloud of evasion before the sun of your penetrating37 intellect,” replied the story-teller. “The eleventh day of the existing moon was its inauspicious date.”
“That being yesterday? Ming-shu, you upon whom the duty of regulating my admittedly vagarious mind devolves, what happened officially on the eleventh day of the Month of Gathering-in?” demanded the Mandarin in an ominous38 tone.
“On such and such a day, benevolence39, threescore and fifteen years ago, the imperishable founder40 of the existing dynasty ascended41 on a fiery42 dragon to be a guest on high,” confessed the conscience-stricken scribe, after consulting his printed tablets. “Owing to the stress of a sudden journey significance of the date had previously43 escaped my weed-grown memory, tolerance44.”
“Alas!” exclaimed Shan Tien bitterly, “among the innumerable drawbacks of an exacting45 position the enforced reliance upon an unusually inept46 and more than ordinarily self-opinionated inscriber47 of the spoken word is perhaps the most illimitable. Owing to your profuse48 incompetence49 that which began as an agreeable prelude50 to a busy day has turned into a really serious matter.”
“Yet, lenience,” pleaded the hapless Ming-shu, lowering his voice for the Mandarin’s private ear, “so far the danger resides in this one throat alone. That disposed of—”
“Perchance,” replied Shan Tien; then turning to Kai Lung: “Doubtless, O story-teller, you were so overcome by the burden of your guilt that until this moment you have hidden the knowledge of it deep within your heart?”
“Magnificence, the commanding quality of your enduring voice would draw the inner matter from a marrow-bone,” frankly51 replied Kai Lung. “Fearful lest this crime might go unconfessed and my weak and trembling ghost therefrom be held to bear its weight unto the end of time, I set out the full happening in a written scroll52 and sent it at daybreak by a sure and secret hand to a scrupulous53 official to deal with as he sees fit.”
“Inevitably: the Censor K’o-yih!” Shan Tien’s hasty glance took in the angle of the sun and for a moment rested on the door leading to the part where his swiftest horses lay. “By this time the message will have reached him?”
“Omnipotence,” replied Kai Lung, spreading out his hands to indicate the full extent of his submission57, “not even a piece of the finest Ping-hi silk could be inserted between the deepest secret of this person’s heart and your all-extracting gaze. Should you, in your meritorious58 sense of justice, impose upon me a punishment that would seem to be adequate, it would be superfluous59 to trouble the obliging Censor in the matter. To this end the one who bears the message lurks60 in a hidden corner of Tai until a certain hour. If I am in a position to intercept61 him there he will return the message to my hand; if not, he will straightway bear it to the integritous K’o-yih.”
“May the President of Hades reward you—I am no longer in a position to do so!” murmured Shan Tien with concentrated feeling. “Draw near, Kai Lung,” he continued sympathetically, “and indicate—with as little delay as possible—what in your opinion would constitute a sufficient punishment.”
Thus invited and with his cords unbound, Kai Lung advanced and took his station near the table, Ming-shu noticeably making room for him.
“To be driven from your lofty presence and never again permitted to listen to the wisdom of your inspired lips would undoubtedly62 be the first essential of my penance63, High Excellence.”
“It is gran—inflicted,” agreed Shan Tien, with swift decision.
“The necessary edict may conveniently be drafted in the form of a safe-conduct for this person and all others of his band to a point beyond the confines of your jurisdiction—when the usually agile-witted Ming-shu can sufficiently64 shake off the benumbing torpor65 now assailing66 him so as to use his brush.”
“It is already begun, O virtuous67 harbinger of joy,” protested the dazed Ming-shu, overturning all the four precious implements68 in his passion to comply. “A mere28 breath of time—”
“Let it be signed, sealed and thumb-pressed at every available point of ambiguity,” enjoined69 Shan Tien.
“Having thus oppressed the vainglory of my self-willed mind, the presumption70 of this unworthy body must be subdued71 likewise. The burden of five hundred taels of silver should suffice. If not—”
“In the form of paper obligations, estimable Kai Lung, the same amount would go more conveniently within your scrip,” suggested the Mandarin hopefully.
“Not convenience, O Mandarin, but bodily exhaustion73 is the essence of my task,” reproved the story-teller.
“Yet consider the anguish74 of my internal pang75, if thus encumbered76, you sank spent by the wayside, and being thereby77 unable to withhold78 the message, you were called upon to endure a further ill.”
“That, indeed, is worthy of our thought,” confessed Kai Lung. “To this end I will further mortify79 myself by adventuring upon the uncertain apex80 of a trustworthy steed (a mode of progress new to my experience) until I enter Tai.”
“The swiftest and most reputable awaits your guiding hand,” replied Shan Tien.
“Let it be enticed81 forth82 into a quiet and discreet83 spot. In the interval84, while the obliging Ming-shu plies85 an unfaltering brush, the task of weighing out my humiliating burden shall be ours.”
In an incredibly short space of time, being continually urged on by the flattering anxiety of Shan Tien (whose precipitancy at one point became so acute that he mistook fourscore taels for five), all things were prepared. With the inscribed parchment well within his sleeve and the bags of silver ranged about his body, Kai Lung approached the platform that had been raised to enable him to subdue72 the expectant animal.
“Once in the desired position, weighted down as you are, there is little danger of your becoming displaced,” remarked the Mandarin auspiciously86.
“Your words are, as usual, many-sided in their wise application, benignity,” replied Kai Lung. “One thing only yet remains87. It is apart from the expression of this one’s will, but as an act of justice to yourself and in order to complete the analogy—” And he indicated the direction of Ming-shu.
“Nevertheless you are agreeably understood,” declared Shan Tien, moving apart. “Farewell.”
As those who controlled the front part of the horse at this moment relaxed their tenacity88, Kai Lung did not deem it prudent89 to reply, nor was he specifically observant of the things about. But a little later, while in the act of permitting the creature whose power he ruled to turn round for a last look at its former home, he saw that the unworthy no longer flourished. Ming-shu, with his own discarded cang around his vindictive90 neck, was being led off in the direction of the prison-house.
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1
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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reptilian
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| adj.（像）爬行动物的；（像）爬虫的；卑躬屈节的；卑鄙的n.两栖动物；卑劣的人 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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infamy
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| n.声名狼藉，出丑，恶行 | |
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subterfuges
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| n.（用说谎或欺骗以逃脱责备、困难等的）花招，遁词( subterfuge的名词复数 ) | |
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evasion
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| n.逃避，偷漏(税) | |
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Mandarin
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| n.中国官话，国语，满清官吏；adj.华丽辞藻的 | |
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malefactor
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| n.罪犯 | |
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invoked
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| v.援引( invoke的过去式和过去分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
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10
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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11
grilling
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| v.烧烤( grill的现在分词 )；拷问，盘问 | |
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12
vatting
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| 还原，干缸，养缸； 瓮染 | |
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13
inflating
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| v.使充气（于轮胎、气球等）( inflate的现在分词 )；（使）膨胀；（使）通货膨胀；物价上涨 | |
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14
rending
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| v.撕碎( rend的现在分词 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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15
spiking
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| n.尖峰形成v.加烈酒于( spike的现在分词 )；偷偷地给某人的饮料加入（更多）酒精（ 或药物）；把尖状物钉入；打乱某人的计划 | |
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gouging
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| n.刨削[槽]v.凿( gouge的现在分词 )；乱要价；（在…中）抠出…；挖出… | |
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17
tersely
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| adv. 简捷地, 简要地 | |
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18
discomforts
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| n.不舒适( discomfort的名词复数 )；不愉快，苦恼 | |
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19
excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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20
precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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21
inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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22
shreds
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| v.撕碎，切碎( shred的第三人称单数 )；用撕毁机撕毁（文件） | |
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23
withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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24
irrational
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| adj.无理性的，失去理性的 | |
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narrate
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| v.讲，叙述 | |
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felon
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| n.重罪犯；adj.残忍的 | |
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guise
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| n.外表，伪装的姿态 | |
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28
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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30
explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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32
entangled
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| adj.卷入的；陷入的；被缠住的；缠在一起的v.使某人（某物/自己）缠绕，纠缠于（某物中），使某人（自己）陷入（困难或复杂的环境中）( entangle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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33
lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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35
sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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36
alleged
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| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
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37
penetrating
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| adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的 | |
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38
ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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39
benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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40
Founder
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| n.创始者，缔造者 | |
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41
ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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43
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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44
tolerance
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| n.宽容；容忍，忍受；耐药力；公差 | |
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45
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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46
inept
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| adj.不恰当的，荒谬的，拙劣的 | |
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47
inscriber
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| 记录器；虚部 | |
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48
profuse
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| adj.很多的，大量的，极其丰富的 | |
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49
incompetence
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| n.不胜任，不称职 | |
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50
prelude
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| n.序言，前兆，序曲 | |
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51
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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52
scroll
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| n.卷轴，纸卷；(石刻上的)漩涡 | |
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53
scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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54
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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55
censor
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| n./vt.审查，审查员；删改 | |
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56
stunted
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| adj.矮小的；发育迟缓的 | |
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57
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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58
meritorious
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| adj.值得赞赏的 | |
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59
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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60
lurks
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| n.潜在，潜伏；（lurk的复数形式）vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的第三人称单数形式） | |
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61
intercept
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| vt.拦截，截住，截击 | |
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62
undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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63
penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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64
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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65
torpor
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| n.迟钝；麻木；（动物的）冬眠 | |
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66
assailing
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| v.攻击( assail的现在分词 )；困扰；质问；毅然应对 | |
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67
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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68
implements
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| n.工具( implement的名词复数 )；家具；手段；[法律]履行（契约等）v.实现( implement的第三人称单数 )；执行；贯彻；使生效 | |
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69
enjoined
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| v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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70
presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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71
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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72
subdue
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| vt.制服，使顺从，征服；抑制，克制 | |
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73
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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74
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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75
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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76
encumbered
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| v.妨碍，阻碍，拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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77
thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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78
withhold
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| v.拒绝，不给；使停止，阻挡 | |
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79
mortify
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| v.克制，禁欲，使受辱 | |
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80
apex
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| n.顶点，最高点 | |
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81
enticed
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| 诱惑，怂恿( entice的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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82
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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83
discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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84
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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85
plies
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| v.使用（工具）( ply的第三人称单数 )；经常供应（食物、饮料）；固定往来；经营生意 | |
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86
auspiciously
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| adv.吉利； 繁荣昌盛； 前途顺利； 吉祥 | |
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87
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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88
tenacity
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| n.坚韧 | |
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89
prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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90
vindictive
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| adj.有报仇心的，怀恨的，惩罚的 | |
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