By and by they left the woods and entered a big clearing, in which was the Kingdom of Utensia.
Standing1 all around the clearing were a good many cookstoves, ranges and grills2, of all sizes and shapes, and besides these there were several kitchen cabinets and cupboards and a few kitchen tables. These things were crowded with utensils3 of all sorts: frying pans, sauce pans, kettles, forks, knives, basting4 and soup spoons, nutmeg graters, sifters, colanders7, meat saws, flat irons, rolling pins and many other things of a like nature.
When the Spoon Brigade appeared with the prisoners a wild shout arose and many of the utensils hopped9 off their stoves or their benches and ran crowding around Dorothy and the hen and the dog.
"Stand back!" cried the Captain, sternly, and he led his captives through the curious throng10 until they came before a big range that stood in the center of the clearing. Beside this range was a butcher block upon which lay a great cleaver11 with a keen edge. It rested upon the flat of its back, its legs were crossed and it was smoking a long pipe.
Hearing this, King Kleaver sat up and looked at Dorothy sharply.
"Gristle and fat!" he cried. "Where did this girl come from?"
"I found her in the forest and brought her here a prisoner," replied the Captain.
"To create some excitement," the Captain answered. "It is so quiet here that we are all getting rusty14 for want of amusement. For my part, I prefer to see stirring times."
"Naturally," returned the cleaver, with a nod. "I have always said, Captain, without a bit of irony15, that you are a sterling16 officer and a solid citizen, bowled and polished to a degree. But what do you expect me to do with these prisoners?"
"That is for you to decide," declared the Captain. "You are the King."
"To be sure; to be sure," muttered the cleaver, musingly17. "As you say, we have had dull times since the steel and grindstone eloped and left us. Command my Counselors18 and the Royal Courtiers to attend me, as well as the High Priest and the Judge. We'll then decide what can be done."
"Have you anything to eat in your kingdom?"
"Here! Get up! Get off from me!" cried a faint voice, at which his Majesty the cleaver said:
"Excuse me, but you're sitting on my friend the Ten-quart Kettle."
Dorothy at once arose, and the kettle turned right side up and looked at her reproachfully.
"I'm a friend of the King, so no one dares sit on me," said he.
"I'd prefer a chair, anyway," she replied.
"Sit on that hearth," commanded the King.
So Dorothy sat on the hearth-shelf of the big range, and the subjects of Utensia began to gather around in a large and inquisitive21 throng. Toto lay at Dorothy's feet and Billina flew upon the range, which had no fire in it, and perched there as comfortably as she could.
When all the Counselors and Courtiers had assembled--and these seemed to include most of the inhabitants of the kingdom--the King rapped on the block for order and said:
"Friends and Fellow Utensils! Our worthy22 Commander of the Spoon Brigade, Captain Dipp, has captured the three prisoners you see before you and brought them here for--for--I don't know what for. So I ask your advice how to act in this matter, and what fate I should mete23 out to these captives. Judge Sifter5, stand on my right. It is your business to sift6 this affair to the bottom. High Priest Colender, stand on my left and see that no one testifies falsely in this matter."
As these two officials took their places, Dorothy asked:
"He's the holiest thing we have in the kingdom," replied King Kleaver.
"What we need," remarked the King, rebukingly25, "is a wireless26 sieve. I must speak to Marconi about it. These old-fashioned sieves27 talk too much. Now, it is the duty of the King's Counselors to counsel the King at all times of emergency, so I beg you to speak out and advise me what to do with these prisoners."
"I demand that they be killed several times, until they are dead!" shouted a pepperbox, hopping28 around very excitedly.
"Compose yourself, Mr. Paprica," advised the King. "Your remarks are piquant29 and highly-seasoned, but you need a scattering30 of commonsense31. It is only necessary to kill a person once to make him dead; but I do not see that it is necessary to kill this little girl at all."
"I don't, either," said Dorothy.
"Pardon me, but you are not expected to advise me in this matter," replied King Kleaver.
"Why not?" asked Dorothy.
"You might be prejudiced in your own favor, and so mislead us," he said. "Now then, good subjects, who speaks next?"
"I'd like to smooth this thing over, in some way," said a flatiron, earnestly. "We are supposed to be useful to mankind, you know."
"But the girl isn't mankind! She's womankind!" yelled a corkscrew.
"What do you know about it?" inquired the King.
"I'm a lawyer," said the corkscrew, proudly. "I am accustomed to appear at the bar."
"But you're crooked," retorted the King, "and that debars you. You may be a corking32 good lawyer, Mr. Popp, but I must ask you to withdraw your remarks."
"Very well," said the corkscrew, sadly; "I see I haven't any pull at this court."
"Permit me," continued the flatiron, "to press my suit, your Majesty. I do not wish to gloss33 over any fault the prisoner may have committed, if such a fault exists; but we owe her some consideration, and that's flat!"
"I'd like to hear from Prince Karver," said the King.
At this a stately carvingknife stepped forward and bowed.
"The Captain was wrong to bring this girl here, and she was wrong to come," he said. "But now that the foolish deed is done let us all prove our mettle34 and have a slashing35 good time."
"That's it! that's it!" screamed a fat choppingknife. "We'll make mincemeat of the girl and hash of the chicken and sausage of the dog!"
There was a shout of approval at this and the King had to rap again for order.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen!" he said, "your remarks are somewhat cutting and rather disjointed, as might be expected from such acute intellects. But you give me no reasons for your demands."
"See here, Kleaver; you make me tired," said a saucepan, strutting36 before the King very impudently37. "You're about the worst King that ever reigned38 in Utensia, and that's saying a good deal. Why don't you run things yourself, instead of asking everybody's advice, like the big, clumsy idiot you are?"
The King sighed.
"I wish there wasn't a saucepan in my kingdom," he said. "You fellows are always stewing39, over something, and every once in a while you slop over and make a mess of it. Go hang yourself, sir--by the handle--and don't let me hear from you again."
Dorothy was much shocked by the dreadful language the utensils employed, and she thought that they must have had very little proper training. So she said, addressing the King, who seemed very unfit to rule his turbulent subjects:
"I wish you'd decide my fate right away. I can't stay here all day, trying to find out what you're going to do with me."
"This thing is becoming a regular broil40, and it's time I took part in it," observed a big gridiron, coming forward.
"What I'd like to know," said a can-opener, in a shrill41 voice, "is why the little girl came to our forest anyhow and why she intruded42 upon Captain Dipp--who ought to be called Dippy--and who she is, and where she came from, and where she is going, and why and wherefore and therefore and when."
"I'm sorry to see, Sir Jabber," remarked the King to the can-opener, "that you have such a prying43 disposition44. As a matter of fact, all the things you mention are none of our business."
Having said this the King relighted his pipe, which had gone out.
"Tell me, please, what IS our business?" inquired a potato-masher, winking45 at Dorothy somewhat impertinently. "I'm fond of little girls, myself, and it seems to me she has as much right to wander in the forest as we have."
"Who accuses the little girl, anyway?" inquired a rolling-pin. "What has she done?"
"I don't know," said the King. "What has she done, Captain Dipp?"
"That's the trouble, your Majesty. She hasn't done anything," replied the Captain.
"What do you want me to do?" asked Dorothy.
"If no one can throw any light on this subject you must excuse me if I go out."
"Let's hear from Judge Sifter."
"That's proper," returned the King.
So Judge Sifter turned around slowly several times and then said:
"We have nothing against the girl except the stove-hearth upon which she sits. Therefore I order her instantly discharged."
"Discharged!" cried Dorothy. "Why, I never was discharged in my life, and I don't intend to be. If it's all the same to you, I'll resign."
"It's all the same," declared the King. "You are free--you and your companions--and may go wherever you like."
"Thank you," said the little girl. "But haven't you anything to eat in your kingdom? I'm hungry."
"Go into the woods and pick blackberries," advised the King, lying down upon his back again and preparing to go to sleep. "There isn't a morsel48 to eat in all Utensia, that I know of."
So Dorothy jumped up and said:
"Come on, Toto and Billina. If we can't find the camp, we may find some blackberries."
The utensils drew back and allowed them to pass without protest, although Captain Dipp marched the Spoon Brigade in close order after them until they had reached the edge of the clearing.
There the spoons halted; but Dorothy and her companions entered the forest again and began searching diligently49 for a way back to the camp, that they might rejoin their party.
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1
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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2
grills
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| n.烤架( grill的名词复数 )；（一盘）烤肉；格板；烧烤餐馆v.烧烤( grill的第三人称单数 )；拷问，盘问 | |
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3
utensils
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| 器具，用具，器皿( utensil的名词复数 )； 器物 | |
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basting
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| n.疏缝；疏缝的针脚；疏缝用线；涂油v.打( baste的现在分词 )；粗缝；痛斥；（烤肉等时）往上抹[浇]油 | |
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5
sifter
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| n.（用于筛撒粉状食物的）筛具，撒粉器；滤器；罗圈；罗 | |
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6
sift
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| v.筛撒，纷落，详察 | |
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7
colanders
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| n.滤锅，漏勺( colander的名词复数 ) | |
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8
colander
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| n.滤器，漏勺 | |
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9
hopped
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| 跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 )； 单足蹦跳； 齐足（或双足）跳行； 摘葎草花 | |
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10
throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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11
cleaver
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| n.切肉刀 | |
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12
majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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13
puffing
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| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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14
rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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15
irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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16
sterling
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| adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑) | |
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17
musingly
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| adv.沉思地，冥想地 | |
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18
counselors
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| n.顾问( counselor的名词复数 )；律师；（使馆等的）参赞；（协助学生解决问题的）指导老师 | |
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19
saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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20
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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21
inquisitive
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| adj.求知欲强的，好奇的，好寻根究底的 | |
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22
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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23
mete
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| v.分配；给予 | |
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24
sieve
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| n.筛，滤器，漏勺 | |
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25
rebukingly
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26
wireless
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| adj.无线的；n.无线电 | |
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27
sieves
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| 筛，漏勺( sieve的名词复数 ) | |
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28
hopping
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| n. 跳跃 动词hop的现在分词形式 | |
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29
piquant
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| adj.辛辣的，开胃的，令人兴奋的 | |
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30
scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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31
commonsense
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| adj.有常识的；明白事理的；注重实际的 | |
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32
corking
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| adj.很好的adv.非常地v.用瓶塞塞住( cork的现在分词 ) | |
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33
gloss
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| n.光泽，光滑；虚饰；注释；vt.加光泽于；掩饰 | |
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34
mettle
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| n.勇气，精神 | |
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35
slashing
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| adj.尖锐的；苛刻的；鲜明的；乱砍的v.挥砍( slash的现在分词 )；鞭打；割破；削减 | |
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36
strutting
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| 加固，支撑物 | |
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37
impudently
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38
reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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39
stewing
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| 炖 | |
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40
broil
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| v.烤，烧，争吵，怒骂；n.烤，烧，争吵，怒骂 | |
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41
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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42
intruded
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| n.侵入的，推进的v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的过去式和过去分词 )；把…强加于 | |
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43
prying
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| adj.爱打听的v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的现在分词 )；撬开 | |
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44
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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45
winking
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| n.瞬眼，目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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46
irritably
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| ad.易生气地 | |
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47
pricked
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| 刺，扎，戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 )； 刺伤； 刺痛； 使剧痛 | |
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48
morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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49
diligently
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| ad.industriously;carefully | |
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