“You seem to be in trouble,” Stephen said in a voice so cold she thought it could not be his.
“I am not in trouble, exactly,” Rose stammered2, concealing4 her discomfiture5 as well as possible. “I am a little unhappy because I have made some one else unhappy; and now that you know it, you will be unhappy too, and angry besides, I suppose, though you've seen everything there was to see.”
“There is no occasion for sorrow,” Stephen said. “I did n't mean to break in on any interview; I came over to give you back your freedom. If you ever cared enough for me to marry me, the time has gone by. I am willing to own that I over-persuaded you, but I am not the man to take a girl against her inclinations6, so we will say good-bye and end the thing here and now. I can only wish”—here his smothered7 rage at fate almost choked him—“that, when you were selecting another husband, you had chosen a whole man!”
Rose quivered with the scorn of his tone. “Size is n't everything!” she blazed.
“Not in bodies, perhaps; but it counts for something in hearts and brains, and it is convenient to have a sense of honor that's at least as big as a grain of mustard-seed.”
“Claude Merrill is not dishonorable,” Rose exclaimed impetuously; “or at least he is n't as bad as you think: he has never asked me to marry him.”
“Then he probably was not quite ready to speak, or perhaps you were not quite ready to hear,” retorted Stephen, bitterly; “but don't let us have words,-there'll be enough to regret without adding those. I have seen, ever since New Year's, that you were not really happy or contented8; only I would n't allow it to myself; I kept hoping against hope that I was mistaken. There have been times when I would have married you, willing or unwilling9, but I did n't love you so well then; and now that there's another man in the case, it's different, and I'm strong enough to do the right thing. Follow your heart and be happy; in a year or two I shall be glad I had the grit10 to tell you so. Good-bye, Rose!”
Rose, pale with amazement11, summoned all her pride, and drawing the turquoise12 engagement ring from her finger, handed it silently to Stephen, hiding her face as he flung it vehemently13 down the river-bank. His dull eyes followed it and half uncomprehendingly saw it settle and glisten14 in a nest of brown pine-needles. Then he put out his hand for a last clasp and strode away without a word.
Presently Rose heard first the scrape of his boat on the sand, then the soft sound of his paddles against the water, then nothing but the squirrels and the woodpeckers and the thrushes, then not even these,—nothing but the beating of her own heart.
She sat down heavily, feeling as if she were wide awake for the first time in many weeks. How had things come to this pass with her?
Claude Merrill had flattered her vanity and given her some moments of restlessness and dissatisfaction with her lot; but he had not until today really touched her heart or tempted15 her, even momentarily, from her allegiance to Stephen. His eyes had always looked unspeakable things; his voice had seemed to breathe feelings that he had never dared put in words; but today he had really stirred her, for although he had still been vague, it was easy to see that his love for her had passed all bounds of discretion16. She remembered his impassioned farewells, his despair, his doubt as to whether he could forget her by plunging17 into the vortex of business, or whether he had better end it all in the river, as so many other broken-hearted fellows had done. She had been touched by his misery18, even against her better judgment19; and she had intended to confess it all to Stephen sometime, telling him that she should never again accept attentions from a stranger, lest a tragedy like this should happen twice in a lifetime.
She had imagined that Stephen would be his large-minded, great-hearted, magnanimous self, and beg her to forget this fascinating will-o'-the-wisp by resting in his deeper, serener20 love. She had meant to be contrite21 and faithful, praying nightly that poor Claude might live down his present anguish22, of which she had been the innocent cause.
Instead, what had happened? She had been put altogether in the wrong. Stephen had almost cast her off, and that, too, without argument. He had given her her liberty before she had asked for it, taking it for granted, without question, that she desired to be rid of him. Instead of comforting her in her remorse23, or sympathizing with her for so nobly refusing to shine in Claude's larger world of Boston, Stephen had assumed that she was disloyal in every particular.
And pray how was she to cope with such a disagreeable and complicated situation?
It would not be long before the gossips rolled under their tongues the delicious morsel24 of a broken engagement, and sooner or later she must brave the displeasure of her grandmother.
And the little house—that was worse than anything. Her tears flowed faster as she thought of Stephen's joy in it, of his faithful labor25, of the savings26 he had invested in it. She hated and despised herself when she thought of the house, and for the first time in her life she realized the limitations of her nature, the poverty of her ideals.
What should she do? She had lost Stephen and ruined his life. Now, in order that she need not blight27 a second career, must she contrive28 to return Claude's love? To be sure, she thought, it seemed indecent to marry any other man than Stephen, when they had built a house together, and chosen wallpapers, and a kitchen stove, and dining-room chairs; but was it not the only way to evade29 the difficulties?
As this dreadful possibility came into view, Rose's sobs31 actually frightened the birds and the squirrels. She paced back and forth32 under the trees, wondering how she could have been engaged to a man for eight months and know so little about him as she seemed to know about Stephen Waterman today. Who would have believed he could be so autocratic, so severe, SS so unapproachable? Who could have foreseen that she, Rose Wiley, would ever be given up to another man,—handed over as coolly as if she had been a bale of cotton? She wanted to return Claude Merrill's love because it was the only way out of the tangle34; but at the moment she almost hated him for making so much trouble, for hurting Stephen, for abasing35 her in her own eyes, and, above all, for giving her rustic36 lover the chance of impersonating an injured emperor.
It did not simplify the situation to have Mite37 Shapley come in during the evening and run upstairs, uninvited, to sit on the foot of her bed and chatter38.
Rose had closed her blinds and lay in the dark, pleading a headache. Mite was in high feather. She had met Claude Merrill going to the station that afternoon. He was much too early for the train, which the station agent reported to be behind time, so he had asked her to take a drive. She did n't know how it happened, for he looked at his watch every now and then; but, anyway, they got to laughing and “carrying on,” and when they came back to the station the train had gone. Was n't that the greatest joke of the season? What did Rose suppose they did next?
Rose did n't know and did n't care; her head ached too badly.
Well, they had driven to Wareham, and Claude had hired a livery team there, and had been taken into Portland with his trunk, and she had brought Mrs. Brooks's horse back to Edgewood. Was n't that ridiculous? And had n't she cut out Rose where she least expected?
Rose was distinctly apathetic39, and Mite Shapley departed after a very brief call, leaving behind her an entirely40 new train of thought.
If Claude Merrill were so love-blighted that he could only by the greatest self-control keep from flinging himself into the river, how could he conceal3 his sufferings so completely from Mite Shapley,—little shallow-pated, scheming coquette?
“So that pretty Merrill feller has gone, has he, mother?” inquired Old Kennebec that night, as he took off his wet shoes and warmed his feet at the kitchen oven. “Well, it ain't a mite too soon. I allers distrust that pink-an'-white, rosy-posy kind of a man. One of the most turrible things that ever happened in Gard'ner was brought about by jest sech a feller. Mothers hed n't hardly ought to name their boy babies Claude without they expect 'em to play the dickens with the girls. I don' know nothin' 'bout33 the fust Claude, there ain't none of 'em in the Bible, air they, but whoever he was, I bate41 ye he hed a deceivin' tongue. If it hed n't be'n for me, that Claude in Gard'ner would 'a' run away with my brother's fust wife; an' I'll tell ye jest how I contrived42 to put a spoke43 in his wheel.”
But Mrs. Wiley, being already somewhat familiar with the circumstances, had taken her candle and retired44 to her virtuous45 couch.
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1
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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2
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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3
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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5
discomfiture
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| n.崩溃；大败；挫败；困惑 | |
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6
inclinations
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| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
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7
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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8
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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9
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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10
grit
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| n.沙粒，决心，勇气；v.下定决心，咬紧牙关 | |
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11
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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12
turquoise
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| n.绿宝石；adj.蓝绿色的 | |
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13
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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glisten
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| vi.（光洁或湿润表面等）闪闪发光，闪闪发亮 | |
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15
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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16
discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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18
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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19
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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20
serener
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| serene（沉静的，宁静的，安宁的）的比较级形式 | |
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contrite
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| adj.悔悟了的，后悔的，痛悔的 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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savings
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| n.存款，储蓄 | |
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27
blight
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| n.枯萎病；造成破坏的因素；vt.破坏，摧残 | |
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28
contrive
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| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
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29
evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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30
pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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31
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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32
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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33
bout
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| n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛 | |
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tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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35
abasing
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| 使谦卑( abase的现在分词 )； 使感到羞耻； 使降低（地位、身份等）； 降下 | |
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rustic
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| adj.乡村的，有乡村特色的；n.乡下人，乡巴佬 | |
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37
mite
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| n.极小的东西；小铜币 | |
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38
chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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39
apathetic
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| adj.冷漠的，无动于衷的 | |
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40
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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41
bate
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| v.压制；减弱；n.（制革用的）软化剂 | |
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42
contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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43
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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44
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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45
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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