When and where had this relationship changed its color and meaning? Neither Nathan nor Hetty could have told. For years Nathan had sat at his end of the young men's bench at the family or the public meeting, with Hetty exactly opposite him at the end of the girls' row, and for years they had looked across the dividing space at each other with unstirred pulses. The rows of Sisters sat in serene3 dignity, one bench behind another, and each Sister was like unto every other in Nathan's vague, dreamy, boyishly indifferent eyes. Some of them were seventy and some seventeen, but each modest figure sat in its place with quiet folded hands. The stiff caps hid the hair, whether it was silver or gold; the white surplices covered the shoulders and concealed4 beautiful curves as well as angular outlines; the throats were scarcely visible, whether they were yellow and wrinkled or young and white. The Sisters were simply sisters to fair-haired Nathan, and the Brothers were but brothers to little black-eyed Hetty.
Once—was it on a Sunday morning?—Nathan glanced across the separating space that is the very essence and sign of Shakerism. The dance had just ceased, and there was a long, solemn stillness when God indeed seemed to be in one of His holy temples and the earth was keeping silence before Him. Suddenly Hetty grew to be something more than one of the figures in a long row: she chained Nathan's eye and held it.
“Through her garments the grace of her glowed.” He saw that, in spite of the way her hair had been cut and stretched back from the forehead, a short dusky tendril, softened6 and coaxed7 by the summer heat, had made its way mutinously8 beyond the confines of her cap. Her eyes were cast down, but the lashes9 that swept her round young cheek were quite different from any other lashes in the Sisters' row. Her breath came and went softly after the exertion10 of the rhythmic11 movements, stirring the white muslin folds that wrapped her from throat to waist. He looked and looked, until his body seemed to be all eyes, absolutely unaware12 of any change in himself; quite oblivious13 of the fact that he was regarding the girl in any new and dangerous way.
The silence continued, long and profound, until suddenly Hetty raised her beautiful lashes and met Nathan's gaze, the gaze of a boy just turned to man: ardent14, warm, compelling. There was a startled moment of recognition, a tremulous approach, almost an embrace, of regard; each sent an electric current across the protective separating space, the two pairs of eyes met and said, “I love you,” in such clear tones that Nathan and Hetty marveled that the Elder did not hear them. Somebody says that love, like a scarlet15 spider, can spin a thread between two hearts almost in an instant, so fine as to be almost invisible, yet it will hold with the tenacity16 of an iron chain. The thread had been spun17; it was so delicate that neither Nathan nor Hetty had seen the scarlet spider spinning it, but the strength of both would not avail to snap the bond that held them together.
The moments passed. Hetty's kerchief rose and fell, rose and fell tumultuously, while her face was suffused18 with color. Nathan's knees quivered under him, and when the Elder rose, and they began the sacred march, the lad could hardly stand for trembling. He dreaded20 the moment when the lines of Believers would meet, and he and Hetty would walk the length of the long room almost beside each other. Could she hear his heart beating, Nathan wondered; while Hetty was palpitating with fear lest Nathan see her blushes and divine their meaning. Oh, the joy of it, the terror of it, the strange exhilaration and the sudden sensation of sin and remorse21!
The meeting over, Nathan flung himself on the haymow in the great barn, while Hetty sat with her “Synopsis of Shaker Theology” at an open window of the girls' building, seeing nothing in the lines of print but visions that should not have been there. It was Nathan who felt most and suffered most and was most conscious of sin, for Hetty, at first, scarcely knew whither she was drifting.
She went into the herb-garden with Susanna one morning during the week that followed the fatal Sunday. Many of the plants to be used for seasoning—sage, summer savory22, sweet marjoram, and the like—were quite ready for gathering23. As the two women were busy at work, Susanna as full of her thoughts as Hetty of hers, the sound of a step was heard brushing the grass of the orchard24. Hetty gave a nervous start; her cheeks grew so crimson25 and her breath so short that Susanna noticed the change.
“It will be Brother Ansel coming along to the grindstone,” Hetty stammered26, burying her head in the leaves.
“No,” Susanna answered, “it is Nathan. He has a long pole with a saw on the end. He must be going to take the dead branches off the apple trees; I heard Ansel tell him yesterday to do it.”
“Yee, that will be it,” said Hetty, bending over the plants as if she were afraid to look elsewhere.
Nathan came nearer to the herb-garden. He was a tall, stalwart, handsome enough fellow, even in his quaint27 working garb28. As the Sisters spun and wove the cloth as well as cut and made the men's garments, and as the Brothers themselves made the shoes, there was naturally no great air of fashion about the Shaker raiment; but Nathan carried it better than most. His skin was fair and rosy29, the down on his upper lip showed dawning manhood, and when he took off his broad-brimmed straw hat and stretched to his full height to reach the upper branches of the apple trees, he made a picture of clean, wholesome30, vigorous youth.
Suddenly Susanna raised her head and surprised Hetty looking at the lad with all her heart in her eyes. At the same moment Nathan turned, and before he could conceal5 the telltale ardor31 of his glance, it had sped to Hetty. With the instinct of self-preservation he stooped instantly as if to steady the saw on the pole, but it was too late to mend matters: his tale was told so far as Susanna was concerned; but it was better she should suspect than one of the Believers or Eldress Abby.
Susanna worked on in silent anxiety. The likelihood of such crises as this had sometimes crossed her mind, and knowing how frail32 human nature is, she often marveled that instances seemed so infrequent. Her instinct told her that in every Community the risk must exist, even though all were doubly warned and armed against the temptations that flesh is heir to; yet no hint of danger had showed itself during the months in which she had been a member of the Shaker family. She had heard the Elder's plea to the young converts to take up “a full cross against the flesh”; she had listened to Eldress Abby when she told them that the natural life, its thoughts, passions, feelings, and associations, must be turned against once and forever; but her heart melted in pity for the two poor young things struggling helplessly against instincts of which they hardly knew the meaning, so cloistered33 had been the life they lived. The kind, conscientious34 hands that had fed them would now seem hard and unrelenting; the place that had been home would turn to a prison; the life that Elder Gray preached, “the life of a purer godliness than can be attained35 by marriage,” had seemed difficult, perhaps, but possible; and now how cold and hopeless it would appear to these two young, undisciplined, flaming hearts!
“Hetty dear, talk to me!” whispered Susanna, softly touching36 her shoulder, and wondering if she could somehow find a way to counsel the girl in her perplexity.
Hetty started rebelliously37 to her feet as Nathan moved away farther into the orchard. “If you say a single thing to me, or a word about me to Eldress Abby, I'll run away this very day. Nobody has any right to speak to me, and I just want to be let alone! It's all very well for you,” she went on passionately38. “What have you had to give up? Nothing but a husband you did n't love and a home you did n't want to stay in. Like as not you'll be a Shaker, and they'll take you for a saint; but anyway you'll have had your life.”
“You are right, Hetty,” said Susanna, quietly; “but oh! my dear, the world outside isn't such a Paradise for young girls like you, motherless and fatherless and penniless. You have a good home here; can't you learn to like it?”
“Out in the world people can do as they like and nobody thinks of calling them wicked!” sobbed39 Hetty, flinging herself down, and putting her head in Susanna's aproned lap. “Here you've got to live like an angel, and if you don't, you've got to confess every wrong thought you've had, when the time comes.”
“Whatever you do, Hetty, be open and aboveboard; don't be hasty and foolish, or you may be sorry forever afterwards.”
Hetty's mood changed again suddenly to one of mutiny, and she rose to her feet.
“You have n't got any right to interfere40 with me anyway, Susanna; and if you think it's your duty to tell tales, you'll only make matters worse”; and so saying she took her basket and fled across the fields like a hunted hare.
That evening, as Hetty left the infirmary, where she had been sent with a bottle of liniment for the nursing Sisters, she came upon Nathan standing41 gloomily under the spruce trees near the back of the building. It was eight o'clock and quite dark. It had been raining during the late afternoon and the trees were still dripping drearily42. Hetty came upon Nathan so suddenly, that, although he had been in her thoughts, she gave a frightened little cry when he drew her peremptorily43 under the shadow of the branches. The rules that govern the Shaker Community are very strict, but in reality the true Believer never thinks of them as rules, nor is trammeled by them. They are fixed44 habits of the blood, as common, as natural, as sitting or standing, eating or drinking. No Brother is allowed to hold any lengthy45 interview with a Sister, nor to work, walk, or drive with her alone; but these protective customs, which all are bound in honor to keep, are too much a matter of everyday life to be strange or irksome.
“I must speak to you, Hetty,” whispered Nathan. “I cannot bear it any longer alone. What shall we do?”
“Do?” echoed Hetty, trembling.
“Yes, do.” There was no pretense46 of asking her if she loved or suffered, or lived in torture and suspense47. They had not uttered a word to each other, but their eyes had “shed meanings.”
“You know we can't go on like this,” he continued rapidly. “We can't eat their food, stay alongside of them, pray their prayers and act a lie all the time, we can't!”
“Nay, we can't!” said Hetty. “Oh, Nathan, shall we confess all and see if they will help us to resist temptation? I know that's what Susanna would want me to do, but oh! I should dread19 it.”
“Nay, it is too late,” Nathan answered drearily. “They could not help us, and we should be held under suspicion forever after.”
“Yee, so do I!” the lad answered. “And I feel bitter against my father, too. He brought me here to get rid of me, because he did n't dare leave me on somebody's doorstep. He ought to have come back when I was grown a man and asked me if I felt inclined to be a Shaker, and if I was good enough to be one!”
“And my stepfather would n't have me in the house, so my mother had to give me away; but they're both dead, and I'm alone in the world, though I've never felt it, because the Sisters are so kind. Now they will hate me—though they don't hate anybody.”
“You've got me, Hetty! We must go away and be married. We'd better go tonight to the minister in Albion.”
“What if he would n't do it?”
“Why should n't he? Shakers take no vows49, though I feel bound, hand and foot, out of gratitude50. If any other two young folks went to him, he would marry them; and if he refuses, there are two other ministers in Albion, besides two more in Buryfield, five miles farther. If they won't marry us tonight, I'll leave you in some safe home and we 'll walk to Portland tomorrow. I'm young and strong, and I know I can earn our living somehow.”
“But we have n't the price of a lodging51 or a breakfast between us,” Hetty said tearfully. “Would it be sinful to take some of my basketwork and send back the money next week?”
“Yee, it would be so,” Nathan answered sternly. “The least we can do is to go away as empty-handed as we came. I can work for our breakfast.”
“Oh, I can't bear to disappoint Eldress Abby,” cried Hetty, breaking anew into tears. “She'll say we've run away to live on the lower plane after agreeing to crucify Nature and follow the angelic life!”
“I know; but there are five hundred people in Albion all living in marriage, and we shan't be the only sinners!” Nathan argued. “Oh, Sister Hetty, dear Hetty, keep up your spirits and trust to me!”
Nathan's hand stole out and met Hetty's in its warm clasp, the first hand touch that the two ignorant young creatures had ever felt. Nathan's knowledge of life had been a journey to the Canterbury Shakers in New Hampshire with Brother Issachar; Hetty's was limited to a few drives into Albion village, and half a dozen chats with the world's people who came to the Settlement to buy basketwork.
“I am not able to bear the Shaker life!” sighed Nathan. “Elder Gray allows there be such!”
“Nor I,” murmured Hetty. “Eldress Harriet knows I am no saint!”
Hetty's head was now on Nathan's shoulder. The stiff Shaker cap had resisted bravely, but the girl's head had yielded to the sweet proximity52. Youth called to youth triumphantly53; the Spirit was unheard, and all the theories of celibacy54 and the angelic life that had been poured into their ears vanished into thin air. The thick shade of the spruce tree hid the kiss that would have been so innocent, had they not given themselves to the Virgin55 Church; the drip, drip, drip of the branches on their young heads passed unheeded.
Then, one following the other silently along the highroad, hurrying along in the shadows of the tall trees, stealing into the edge of the woods, or hiding behind a thicket56 of alders57 at the fancied sound of a footstep or the distant rumble58 of a wagon59, Nathan and Hetty forsook60 the faith of Mother Ann and went out into the world as Adam and Eve left the garden, with the knowledge of good and evil implanted in their hearts. The voice of Eldress Abby pursued Hetty in her flight like the voice in a dream. She could hear its clear impassioned accents, saying, “The children of this world marry; but the children of the resurrection do not marry, for they are as the angels.” The solemn tones grew fainter and fainter as Hetty's steps led her farther and farther away from the quiet Shaker village and its drab-clad Sisters, and at last they almost died into silence, because Nathan's voice was nearer and Nathan's voice was dearer.
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1
discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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2
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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3
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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4
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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6
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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7
coaxed
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱 | |
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8
mutinously
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| adv.反抗地，叛变地 | |
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lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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10
exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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11
rhythmic
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| adj.有节奏的，有韵律的 | |
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12
unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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13
oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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14
ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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15
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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16
tenacity
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| n.坚韧 | |
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17
spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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18
suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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19
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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20
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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21
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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22
savory
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| adj.风味极佳的，可口的，味香的 | |
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23
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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24
orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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25
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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26
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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27
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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28
garb
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| n.服装，装束 | |
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29
rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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30
wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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31
ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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32
frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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33
cloistered
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| adj.隐居的，躲开尘世纷争的v.隐退，使与世隔绝( cloister的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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35
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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36
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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37
rebelliously
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| adv.造反地，难以控制地 | |
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38
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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39
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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40
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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41
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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42
drearily
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| 沉寂地，厌倦地，可怕地 | |
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43
peremptorily
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| adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地 | |
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44
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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45
lengthy
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| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
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46
pretense
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| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
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47
suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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48
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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49
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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50
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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51
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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52
proximity
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| n.接近，邻近 | |
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53
triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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54
celibacy
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| n.独身(主义) | |
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55
virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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56
thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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57
alders
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| n.桤木( alder的名词复数 ) | |
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58
rumble
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| n.隆隆声；吵嚷；v.隆隆响；低沉地说 | |
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59
wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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60
forsook
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| forsake的过去式 | |
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