Susanna caught her breath as she threw her chamber12 window wider open in the early morning; for the greater part of the picture had been painted during the frosty night.
The child ran to her side. “Oh, what a goldy, goldy morning!” she cried.
One crimson leaf with a long heavy stem that acted as a sort of rudder, came down to the windowsill with a sidelong scooping13 flight, while two or three gayly painted ones, parted from the tree by the same breeze, floated airily along as if borne on unseen wings, finally alighting on Sue's head and shoulders like tropical birds.
“You cried in the night, Mardie!” said Sue. “I heard you snifferling and getting up for your hank'chief; but I did n't speak 'cause it's so dreadful to be catched crying.”
“Kneel down beside me and give me part of your cape,” her mother answered. “I'm going to let my sad heart fly right out of the window into those beautiful trees.”
“And maybe a glad heart will fly right in!” the child suggested.
“Maybe. Oh! we must cuddle close and be still; Elder Gray's going to sit down under the great maple6; and do you see, all the Brothers seem to be up early this morning, just as we are?”
“More love, Elder Gray!” called Issachar, on his way to the toolhouse.
“More love, Brother Issachar!”
“More love, Brother Ansel!”
“More love, Brother Calvin!”
“More love!.... More love!.... More love!” So the quaint14 but not uncommon15 Shaker greeting passed from Brother to Brother; and as Tabitha and Martha and Rosetta met on their way to dairy and laundry and seed-house, they, too, hearing the salutation, took up the refrain, and Susanna and Sue heard again from the women's voices that beautiful morning wish, “More love! More love!” speeding from heart to heart and lip to lip.
Mother and child were very quiet.
“More love, Sue!” said Susanna, clasping her closely.
“More love, Mardie!” whispered the child, smiling and entering into the spirit of the salutation. “Let's turn our heads Farnham way! I'll take Jack16 and you take Fardie, and we'll say togedder, 'More love'; shall we?”
“More love, John.”
“More love, Jack.”
The words floated out over the trees in the woman's trembling voice and the child's treble.
“Elder Gray looks tired though he's just got up,” Sue continued.
“He is not strong,” replied her mother, remembering Brother Ansel's statement that the Elder “wa'n't diseased anywheres, but did n't have no durability17.”
“The Elder would have a lovely lap,” Sue remarked presently.
“What?”
“A nice lap to sit in. Fardie has a nice lap, too, and Uncle Joel Atterbury, but not Aunt Louisa; she lets you slide right off; it's a bony, hard lap. I love Elder Gray, and I climbed on his lap one day. He put me right down, but I'm sure he likes children. I wish I could take right hold of his hand and walk all over the farm, but he would n't let me, I s'pose.— More love, Elder Gray!” she cried suddenly, bobbing up above the windowsill and shaking her fairy hand at him.
The Elder looked up at the sound of the glad voice. No human creature could have failed to smile back into the roguish face or have treated churlishly the sweet, confident little greeting. The heart of a real man must have an occasional throb18 of the father, and when Daniel Gray rose from his seat under the maple and called, “More love, child!” there was something strange and touching19 in his tone. He moved away from the tree to his morning labors21 with the consciousness of something new to conquer. Long, long ago he had risen victorious22 above many of the temptations that flesh is heir to. Women were his good friends, his comrades, his sisters; they no longer troubled the waters of his soul; but here was a child who stirred the depths; who awakened23 the potential father in him so suddenly and so strongly that he longed for the sweetness of a human tie that could bind24 him to her. But the current of the Elder's being was set towards sacrifice and holiness, and the common joys of human life he felt could never and must never be his; so he went to the daily round, the common task, only a little paler, a little soberer than was his wont25.
“More love, Martha!” said Susanna when she met Martha a little later in the day.
“More love, Susanna!” Martha replied cheerily. “You heard our Shaker greeting, I see! It was the beautiful weather, the fine air and glorious colors, that brought the inspiration this morning, I guess! It took us all out of doors, and then it seemed to get into the blood. Besides, tomorrow's the Day of Sacrifice, and that takes us all on to the mountaintops of feeling. There have been times when I had to own up to a lack of love.”
“You, Martha, who have such wonderful influence over the children, such patience, such affection!”
“It was n't always so. When I was first put in charge of the children, I did n't like the work. They did n't respond to me somehow, and when they were out of my sight they were ugly and disobedient. My natural mother, Maria Holmes, took care of the girls' clothing. One day she said to me, 'Martha, do you love the girls?'
“'Some of them are very unlovely,' I replied.
“'I know that,' she said, 'but you can never help them unless you love them.'
“I thought mother very critical, for I strove scrupulously26 to do my duty. A few days after this the Elder said to me: 'Martha, do you love the girls?' I responded, 'Not very much.'
“'You cannot save them unless you love them,' he said. Then I answered, 'I will labor20 for a gift of love.'
“When the work of the day was over, and the girls were in bed, I would take off my shoes and spend several hours of the night walking the floor, kneeling in prayer that I might obtain the coveted27 gift. For five weeks I did this without avail, when suddenly one night when the moon was full and I was kneeling by the window, a glory seemed to overshadow the crest28 of a high mountain in the distance. I thought I heard a voice say: 'Martha, I baptize you into the spirit of love!' I sat there trembling for more than an hour, and when I rose, I felt that I could love the meanest human being that ever walked the earth. I have never had any trouble with children since that night of the vision. They seem different to me, and I dare say I am different to them.”
“I wish I could see visions!” exclaimed Susanna. “Oh, for a glory that would speak to me and teach me truth and duty! Life is all mist, whichever way I turn. I'd like to be lifted on to a high place where I could see clearly.”
She leaned against the frame of the open kitchen door, her delicate face quivering with emotion and longing29, her attitude simplicity30 and unconsciousness itself. The baldest of Shaker prose turned to purest poetry when Susanna dipped it in the alembic of her own imagination.
“Labor for the gift of sight!” said Martha, who believed implicitly31 in spirits and visions. “Labor this very night.”
It must be said for Susanna that she had never ceased laboring32 in her own way for many days. The truth was that she felt herself turning from marriage. She had lived now so long in the society of men and women who regarded it as an institution not compatible with the highest spiritual development that unconsciously her point of view had changed; changed all the more because she had been so unhappy with the man she had chosen. Curiously33 enough, and unfortunately enough for Susanna Hathaway's peace of mind, the greater aversion she felt towards the burden of the old life, towards the irksomeness of guiding a weaker soul, towards the claims of husband on wife, the stronger those claims appeared. If they had never been assumed!—Ah, but they had; there was the rub! One sight of little Sue sleeping tranquilly34 beside her; one memory of rebellious35, faulty Jack; one vision of John, either as needing or missing her, the rightful woman, or falling deeper in the wiles36 of the wrong one for very helplessness;—any of these changed Susanna the would-be saint, in an instant, into Susanna the wife and mother.
“Speak to me for Thy Compassion's sake,” she prayed from the little book of Confessions37 that her mother had given her. “I will follow after Thy Voice!”
“Would you betray your trust?” asked conscience.
“No, not intentionally39.”
“Would you desert your post?”
“Never, willingly.”
“You have divided the family; taken a little quail40 bird out of the home-nest and left sorrow behind you. Would God justify41 you in that?”
For the first time Susanna's “No” rang clearly enough for her to hear it plainly; for the first time it was followed by no vague misgivings42, no bewilderment, no unrest or indecision. “I turn hither and hither; Thy purposes are hid from me, but I commend my soul to Thee!”
Then a sentence from the dear old book came into her memory: “And thy dead things shall revive, and thy weak things shall be made whole.”
She listened, laying hold of every word, till the nervous clenching43 of her hands subsided44, her face relaxed into peace. Then she lay down beside Sue, creeping close to her for the warmth and comfort and healing of her innocent touch, and, closing her eyes serenely45, knew no more till the morning broke, the Sabbath morning of Confession38 Day.
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1
tapestry
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| n.挂毯，丰富多采的画面 | |
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scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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3
somber
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| adj.昏暗的，阴天的，阴森的，忧郁的 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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profusion
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| n.挥霍；丰富 | |
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maple
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| n.槭树，枫树，槭木 | |
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maples
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| 槭树，枫树( maple的名词复数 )； 槭木 | |
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8
carmine
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| n.深红色，洋红色 | |
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9
cape
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| n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风 | |
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10
amber
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| n.琥珀；琥珀色；adj.琥珀制的 | |
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saturated
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| a.饱和的，充满的 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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13
scooping
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| n.捞球v.抢先报道( scoop的现在分词 )；（敏捷地）抱起；抢先获得；用铲[勺]等挖（洞等） | |
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14
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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15
uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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16
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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17
durability
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| n.经久性，耐用性 | |
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18
throb
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| v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动 | |
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19
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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20
labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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21
labors
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| v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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22
victorious
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| adj.胜利的，得胜的 | |
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23
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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24
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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26
scrupulously
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| adv.一丝不苟地；小心翼翼地，多顾虑地 | |
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27
coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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28
crest
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| n.顶点；饰章；羽冠；vt.达到顶点；vi.形成浪尖 | |
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29
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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30
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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implicitly
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| adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
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32
laboring
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| n.劳动，操劳v.努力争取(for)( labor的现在分词 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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33
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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34
tranquilly
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| adv. 宁静地 | |
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35
rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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36
wiles
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| n.（旨在欺骗或吸引人的）诡计，花招；欺骗，欺诈( wile的名词复数 ) | |
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37
confessions
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| n.承认( confession的名词复数 )；自首；声明；（向神父的）忏悔 | |
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38
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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39
intentionally
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| ad.故意地，有意地 | |
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40
quail
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| n.鹌鹑；vi.畏惧，颤抖 | |
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41
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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42
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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43
clenching
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的现在分词 ) | |
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44
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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45
serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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