July 16th.
Phœbe and I have been to a Hen Conference at Buffington. It was for the purpose of raising the standard of the British Hen, and our local Countess, who is much interested in poultry1, was in the chair.
It was a very learned body, but Phœbe had coached me so well that at the noon recess2 I could talk confidently with the members, discussing the various advantages of True and Crossed Minorcas, Feverels, Andalusians, Cochin Chinas, Shanghais, and the White Leghorn. (Phœbe, when she pronounces this word, leaves out the “h” and bears down heavily on the last syllable3, so that it rhymes with begone!)
As I was sitting under the trees waiting for Phœbe to finish some shopping in the village, a travelling poultry-dealer4 came along and offered to sell me a silver Wyandotte pullet and cockerel. This was a new breed to me and I asked the price, which proved to be more than I should pay for a hat in Bond Street. I hesitated, thinking meantime what a delightful5 parting gift they would be for Phœbe; I mean if we ever should part, which seems more and more unlikely, as I shall never leave Thornycroft until somebody comes properly to fetch me; indeed, unless the “fetching” is done somewhat speedily I may decline to go under any circumstances. My indecision as to the purchase was finally banished6 when the poultryman asserted that the fowls7 had clear open centres all over, black lacing entirely9 round the white centres, were free from white edging, and each had a cherry-red eye. This catalogue of charms inflamed10 my imagination, though it gave me no mental picture of a silver Wyandotte fowl8, and I paid the money while the dealer crammed11 the chicks, squawking into my five-o’clock tea-basket.
Arguing questions of diet
The afternoon session of the conference was most exciting, for we reached the subject of imported eggs, an industry that is assuming terrifying proportions. The London hotel egg comes from Denmark, it seems,—I should think by sailing vessel12, not steamer, but I may be wrong. After we had settled that the British Hen should be protected and encouraged, and agreed solemnly to abstain13 from Danish eggs in any form, and made a resolution stating that our loyalty14 to Queen Alexandra would remain undiminished, we argued the subject of hen diet. There was a great difference of opinion here and the discussion was heated; the honorary treasurer15 standing16 for pulped17 mangold and flint grit18, the chair insisting on barley19 meal and randans, while one eloquent20 young woman declared, to loud cries of “’Ear, ’ear!” that rice pudding and bone chips produce more eggs to the square hen than any other sort of food. Impassioned orators21 arose here and there in the audience demanding recognition for beef scraps22, charcoal23, round corn or buckwheat. Foods were regarded from various standpoints: as general invigorators, growth assisters, and egg producers. A very handsome young farmer carried off final honours, and proved to the satisfaction of all the feminine poultry-raisers that green young hog24 bones fresh cut in the Banner Bone Breaker (of which he was the agent) possessed25 a nutritive value not to be expressed in human language.
The afternoon session was most exciting
Phœbe was distinctly nervous when I rose to say a few words on poultry breeding, announcing as my topic “Mothers, Stepmothers, Foster-Mothers, and Incubators.” Protected by the consciousness that no one in the assemblage could possibly know me, I made a distinct success in my maiden26 speech; indeed, I somewhat overshot the mark, for the Countess in the chair sent me a note asking me to dine with her that evening. I suppressed the note and took Phœbe away before the proceedings27 were finished, vanishing from the scene of my triumphs like a veiled prophet.
Just as we were passing out the door we paused to hear the report of a special committee whose chairman read the following resolutions:—
Whereas,—It has pleased the Almighty28 to remove from our midst our greatest Rose Comb Buff Orpington fancier and esteemed29 friend, Albert Edward Sheridain; therefore be it
Resolved,—That the next edition of our catalogue contain an illustrated30 memorial page in his honour and
Resolved,—That the Rose Comb Buff Orpington Club extend to the bereaved31 family their heartfelt sympathy.
Not asked to the Conference
The handsome young farmer followed us out to our trap, invited us to attend the next meeting of the R. C. B. O. Club, of which he was the secretary, and asked if I were intending to “show.” I introduced Phœbe as the senior partner, and she concealed32 the fact that we possessed but one Buff Orpington, and he was a sad “invaleed” not suitable for exhibition. The farmer’s expression as he looked at me was almost lover-like, and when he pressed a bit of paper into my hand I was sure it must be an offer of marriage. It was in fact only a circular describing the Banner Bone Breaker. It closed with an appeal to Buff Orpington breeders to raise and ever raise the standard, bidding them remember, in the midst of a low-minded and sordid33 civilisation34, that the rose comb should be small and neat, firmly set on, with good working, a nice spike35 at the back lying well down to head, and never, under any circumstances, never sticking up. This adjuration36 somewhat alarmed us as Phœbe and I had been giving our Buff Orpington cockerel the most drastic remedies for his languid and prostrate37 comb.
Coming home
Coming home we alighted from the trap to gather hogweed for the rabbits. I sat by the wayside lazily and let Phœbe gather the appetising weed, which grows along the thorniest38 hedges in close proximity39 to nettles40 and thistles.
Workmen were trudging41 along with their luncheon-baskets of woven bulrushes slung42 over their shoulders. Fields of ripening43 grain lay on either hand, the sun shining on their every shade of green and yellow, bronze and orange, while the breeze stirred the bearded barley into a rippling44 golden sea.
Phœbe asked me if the people I had left behind at the Hydropathic were my relatives.
“Some of them are of remote consanguinity,” I responded evasively, and the next question was hushed upon her awe-stricken tongue, as I intended.
“They are obeying my wish to be let alone, there’s no doubt of that,” I was thinking. “For my part, I like a little more spirit, and a little less ‘letter’!”
Workmen were trudging home
As the word “letter” flitted through my thoughts, I pulled one from my pocket and glanced through it carelessly. It arrived, somewhat tardily45, only last night, or I should not have had it with me. I wore the same dress to the post-office yesterday that I wore to the Hen Conference to-day, and so it chanced to be still in the pocket. If it had been anything I valued, of course I should have lost or destroyed it by mistake; it is only silly, worthless little things like this that keep turning up and turning up after one has forgotten their existence.
“You are a mystery!” [it ran.] “I can apprehend46, but not comprehend you. I know you in part. I understand various bits of your nature; but my knowledge is always fragmentary and disconnected, and when I attempt to make a whole of the mosaics47 I merely get a kaleidoscopic48 effect. Do you know those geographical49 dissected50 puzzles that they give to children? You remind me of one of them.
“I have spent many charming (and dangerous) hours trying to ‘put you together’; but I find, when I examine my picture closely, that after all I’ve made a purple mountain grow out of a green tree; that my river is running up a steep hillside; and that the pretty milkmaid, who should be wandering in the forest, is standing on her head with her pail in the air
“Do you understand yourself clearly? Or is it just possible that when you dive to the depths of your own consciousness, you sometimes find the pretty milkmaid standing on her head? I wonder!” . . .
Ah, well, it is no wonder that he wonders! So do I, for that matter!
点击收听单词发音
1 poultry | |
n.家禽,禽肉 | |
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2 recess | |
n.短期休息,壁凹(墙上装架子,柜子等凹处) | |
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3 syllable | |
n.音节;vt.分音节 | |
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4 dealer | |
n.商人,贩子 | |
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5 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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6 banished | |
v.放逐,驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7 fowls | |
鸟( fowl的名词复数 ); 禽肉; 既不是这; 非驴非马 | |
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8 fowl | |
n.家禽,鸡,禽肉 | |
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9 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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10 inflamed | |
adj.发炎的,红肿的v.(使)变红,发怒,过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11 crammed | |
adj.塞满的,挤满的;大口地吃;快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满;填入;临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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12 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
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13 abstain | |
v.自制,戒绝,弃权,避免 | |
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14 loyalty | |
n.忠诚,忠心 | |
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15 treasurer | |
n.司库,财务主管 | |
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16 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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17 pulped | |
水果的肉质部分( pulp的过去式和过去分词 ); 果肉; 纸浆; 低级书刊 | |
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18 grit | |
n.沙粒,决心,勇气;v.下定决心,咬紧牙关 | |
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19 barley | |
n.大麦,大麦粒 | |
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20 eloquent | |
adj.雄辩的,口才流利的;明白显示出的 | |
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21 orators | |
n.演说者,演讲家( orator的名词复数 ) | |
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22 scraps | |
油渣 | |
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23 charcoal | |
n.炭,木炭,生物炭 | |
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24 hog | |
n.猪;馋嘴贪吃的人;vt.把…占为己有,独占 | |
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25 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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26 maiden | |
n.少女,处女;adj.未婚的,纯洁的,无经验的 | |
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27 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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28 almighty | |
adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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29 esteemed | |
adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 );敬重;认为;以为 | |
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30 illustrated | |
adj. 有插图的,列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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31 bereaved | |
adj.刚刚丧失亲人的v.使失去(希望、生命等)( bereave的过去式和过去分词);(尤指死亡)使丧失(亲人、朋友等);使孤寂;抢走(财物) | |
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32 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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33 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
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34 civilisation | |
n.文明,文化,开化,教化 | |
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35 spike | |
n.长钉,钉鞋;v.以大钉钉牢,使...失效 | |
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36 adjuration | |
n.祈求,命令 | |
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37 prostrate | |
v.拜倒,平卧,衰竭;adj.拜倒的,平卧的,衰竭的 | |
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38 thorniest | |
adj.多刺的( thorny的最高级 );有刺的;棘手的;多障碍的 | |
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39 proximity | |
n.接近,邻近 | |
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40 nettles | |
n.荨麻( nettle的名词复数 ) | |
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41 trudging | |
vt.& vi.跋涉,吃力地走(trudge的现在分词形式) | |
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42 slung | |
抛( sling的过去式和过去分词 ); 吊挂; 遣送; 押往 | |
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43 ripening | |
v.成熟,使熟( ripen的现在分词 );熟化;熟成 | |
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44 rippling | |
起涟漪的,潺潺流水般声音的 | |
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45 tardily | |
adv.缓慢 | |
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46 apprehend | |
vt.理解,领悟,逮捕,拘捕,忧虑 | |
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47 mosaics | |
n.马赛克( mosaic的名词复数 );镶嵌;镶嵌工艺;镶嵌图案 | |
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48 kaleidoscopic | |
adj.千变万化的 | |
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49 geographical | |
adj.地理的;地区(性)的 | |
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50 dissected | |
adj.切开的,分割的,(叶子)多裂的v.解剖(动物等)( dissect的过去式和过去分词 );仔细分析或研究 | |
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