His ideal was a gentle boy of exquisite6 courtesy and of intellectual pursuits. Such a boy he could have loved. It was hard that fate had endowed him with a godson like William. William was neither quiet nor gentle, nor courteous7 nor intellectual—but William was intensely human.
The length of Uncle George's visit this year was beginning to reach the limits of William's patience. He was beginning to feel that sooner or later something must happen. For five weeks now he had (reluctantly) accompanied Uncle George upon his morning walk, he had (generally unsuccessfully) tried to maintain that state of absolute quiet that Uncle George's afternoon rest required, he had in the evening listened wearily to Uncle George's stories of his youth. His usual feeling of mild contempt for Uncle George was beginning to give way to one which was much stronger.
"Now, William," said Uncle George at breakfast, "I'm afraid it's going to rain to-day, so we'll do a little work together this morning, shall we? Nothing like work, is there? Your Arithmetic's a bit shaky, isn't it? We'll rub that up. We love our work, don't we?"
William eyed him coldly.
"I don't think I'd better get muddlin' up my school work," he said. "I shouldn't like to be more on than the other boys next term. It wouldn't be fair to them."
Uncle George rubbed his hands.
"That feeling does you credit, my boy," he said, "but if we go over some of the old work, no harm can be done. History, now. There's nothing like History, is there?"
"We'll do some History, then," said Uncle George briskly. "The lives of the great. Most inspiring. Better than those terrible things you used to waste your time on, eh?"
The "terrible things" had included a trumpet9, a beloved motor hooter, and an ingenious instrument very dear to William's soul that reproduced most realistically the sound of two cats fighting. These, at Uncle George's request, had been confiscated10 by William's father. Uncle George had not considered them educational. They also disturbed his afternoon's rest.
Uncle George settled himself and William down for a nice quiet morning in the library. William, looking round for escape, found none. The outside world was wholly uninviting. The rain came down in torrents11. Moreover, the five preceding weeks had broken William's spirits. He realised the impossibility of evading12 Uncle George. His own family were not sympathetic. They suffered from him considerably13 during the rest of the year and were not sorry to see him absorbed completely by Uncle George's conscientious14 zeal15.
So Uncle George seated himself slowly and ponderously16 in an arm-chair by the fire.
"When I was a boy, William," he began, leaning back and joining the tips of his fingers together, "I loved my studies. I'm sure you love your studies, don't you? Which do you love most?"
"Me?" said William. "I like shootin' and playin' Red Injuns."
"Yes, yes," said Uncle George impatiently, "but those aren't studies, William. You must aim at being gentle."
"It's not much good bein' gentle when you're playin' Red Injuns," said William stoutly17. "A gentle Red Injun wun't get much done."
"Ah, but why play Red Indians?" said Uncle George. "A nasty rough game. No, we'll talk about History. You must mould your character upon that of the great heroes, William. You must be a Clive, a Napoleon, a Wolfe."
"I've often been a wolf," said William. "That game's nearly as good as Red Injuns. An' Bears is a good game too. We might have Bears here," he went on brightening. "Jus' you an' me. Would you sooner be bear or hunter? I'd sooner be hunter," he hinted gently.
"You misunderstand," said Uncle George. "I mean Wolfe the man, Wolfe the hero."
William, who had little patience with heroes who came within the school curriculum, relapsed into gloom.
"What lessons do we learn from such names, my boy?" went on Uncle George.
William was on the floor behind Uncle George's chair endeavouring to turn a somersault in a very restricted space.
"History lessons an' dates an' things," he said shortly. "An' the things they 'spect you to remember——!" he added with disgust.
"No, no," said Uncle George, but the fire was hot and his chair was comfortable and his educational zeal was dying away, "to endure the buffets18 of fate with equanimity20, to smile at misfortune, to endure whatever comes, and so on——"
He stopped suddenly.
William had managed the somersault, but it had somehow brought his feet into collision with Uncle George's neck. Uncle George sleepily shifted his position.
"Boisterous21! Boisterous!" he murmured disapprovingly22. "You should combine the gentleness of a Moore with the courage of a Wellington, William."
William now perceived that Uncle George's eyelids23 were drooping24 slowly and William's sudden statuesque calm would have surprised many of his instructors25.
The silence and the warmth of the room had their effect. In less than three minutes Uncle George was dead to the world around him.
William's form relaxed, then he crept up to look closely at the face of his enemy. He decided26 that he disliked it intensely. Something must be done at once. He looked round the room. There were not many weapons handy. Only his mother's work-box stood on a chair by the window, and on it a pile of socks belonging to Robert, William's elder brother. Beneath either arm of his chair one of Uncle George's coat-tails protruded27. William soon departed on his way rejoicing, while on to one of Uncle George's coat-tails was firmly stitched a bright blue sock and on to the other a brilliant orange one. Robert's taste in socks was decidedly loud. William felt almost happy. The rain had stopped and he spent the morning with some of his friends whom he met in the road. They went bear-hunting in the wood; and though no bears were found, still their disappointment was considerably allayed28 by the fact that one of them saw a mouse and another one distinctly smelt29 a rabbit. William returned to lunch whistling to himself and had the intense satisfaction of seeing Uncle George enter the dining-room, obviously roused from his slumbers30 by the luncheon31 bell, and obviously quite unaware32 of the blue and orange socks that still adorned33 his person.
"Curious!" he ejaculated, as Ethel, William's grown-up sister, pointed34 out the blue sock to him. "Most curious!"
William departed discreetly35 muttering something about "better tidy up a bit," which drew from his sister expressions of surprise and solicitous36 questions as to his state of health.
"Most curious!" again said Uncle George, who had now discovered the orange sock.
When William returned, all excitement was over and Uncle George was consuming roast beef with energy.
"Ah, William," he said, "we must complete the History lesson soon. Nothing like History. Nothing like History. Nothing like History. Teaches us to endure the buffets of fate with equanimity and to smile at misfortune. Then we must do some Geography." William groaned37. "Most fascinating study. Rivers, mountains, cities, etc. Most improving. The morning should be devoted38 to intellectual work at your age, William, and the afternoon to the quiet pursuit of—some improving hobby. You would then find the true joy of life."
To judge from William's countenance39 he did not wholly agree, but he made no objection. He had learnt that objection was useless, and against Uncle George's eloquence40 silence was his only weapon.
After lunch Uncle George followed his usual custom and retired41 to rest. William went to the shed in the back garden and continued the erection of a rabbit hutch that he had begun a few days before. He hoped that if he made a hutch, Providence42 would supply a rabbit. He whistled blithely43 as he knocked nails in at random44.
"William, you mustn't do that now."
He turned a stern gaze upon his mother.
"Why not?" he said.
"Uncle George is resting."
With a crushing glance at her he strolled away from the shed. Someone had left the lawn mower45 in the middle of the lawn. With one of his rare impulses of pure virtue46 he determined47 to be useful. Also, he rather liked mowing48 the grass.
"William, don't do that now," called his sister from the window. "Uncle George is resting."
He deliberately49 drove the mowing machine into the middle of a garden bed and left it there. He was beginning to feel desperate. Then:
"What can I do?" he said bitterly to Ethel, who was still at the window.
"You'd better find some quiet, improving hobby," she said unkindly as she went away.
It is a proof of the utterly50 broken state of William's spirit that he did actually begin to think of hobbies, but none of those that occurred to him interested him. Stamp-collecting, pressed flowers, crest-collecting—Ugh!
He set off down the road, his hands in his pockets and his brows drawn51 into a stern frown. He amused himself by imagining Uncle George in various predicaments, lost on a desert island, captured by pirates, or carried off by an eagle. Then something in the window of a house he passed caught his eye and he stopped suddenly. It was a stuffed bird under a glass case. Now that was something like a hobby, stuffing dead animals! He wouldn't mind having that for a hobby. And it was quite quiet. He could do it while Uncle George was resting. And it must be quite easy. The first thing to do of course was to find a dead animal. Any old thing would do to begin on. A dead cat or dog. He would do bigger ones like bears and lions later on. He spent nearly an hour in a fruitless search for a dead cat or dog. He searched the ditches on both sides of the road and several gardens. He began to have a distinct sense of grievance52 against the race of cats and dogs in general for not dying in his vicinity. At the end of the hour he found a small dead frog. It was very dry and shrivelled, but it was certainly a dead frog and would do to begin on. He took it home in his pocket. He wondered what they did first in stuffing dead animals. He'd heard something about "tannin'" them. But what was "tannin'," and how did one get it? Then he remembered suddenly having heard Ethel talk about the "tannin'" in tea. So that was all right. The first thing to do was to get some tea. He went to the drawing-room. It was empty, but upon the table near the fire was a tea-tray and two cups. Evidently his mother and sister had just had tea there. He put the frog at the bottom of a cup and carefully filled the cup with tea from the teapot. Then he left it to soak and went out into the garden.
A few minutes later William's mother entered the drawing-room.
"I see you poured out my tea for me," he said. "But rather a curious taste. Doubtless you boil the milk now. Safer, of course. Much safer. But it imparts a curious flavour."
"But—I didn't pour out your tea——" began Mrs. Brown.
Here William entered. He looked quickly at the table.
"Who's meddlin' with my frog?" he said angrily. "It's my hobby, an' I'm stuffin' frogs an' someone's been an' took my frog. I left it on the table."
"On the table?" said his mother.
"Yes. In a cup of tea. Gettin' tannin.' You know. For stuffin'. I was puttin' him in tannin' first. I——"
Uncle George grew pale. In frozen silence he put a spoon into his cup and investigated the contents. In still more frozen silence Mrs. Brown and William watched. That moment held all the cumulative55 horror of a Greek tragedy. Then Uncle George put down his cup and went silently from the room. On his face was the expression of one who is going to look up the first train home. Fate had sent him a buffet19 he could not endure with equanimity, a misfortune at which he could not smile, and Fate had avenged56 William for much.
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1
dispensed
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| v.分配( dispense的过去式和过去分词 )；施与；配（药） | |
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purgatory
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| n.炼狱；苦难；adj.净化的，清洗的 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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philosophic
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| adj.哲学的，贤明的 | |
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relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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8
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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9
trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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10
confiscated
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| 没收，充公( confiscate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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torrents
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| n.倾注；奔流( torrent的名词复数 )；急流；爆发；连续不断 | |
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12
evading
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| 逃避( evade的现在分词 )； 避开； 回避； 想不出 | |
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13
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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14
conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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15
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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ponderously
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stoutly
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| adv.牢固地，粗壮的 | |
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18
buffets
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| （火车站的）饮食柜台( buffet的名词复数 )； （火车的）餐车； 自助餐 | |
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19
buffet
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| n.自助餐；饮食柜台；餐台 | |
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20
equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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21
boisterous
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| adj.喧闹的，欢闹的 | |
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22
disapprovingly
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| adv.不以为然地，不赞成地，非难地 | |
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23
eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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24
drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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25
instructors
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| 指导者，教师( instructor的名词复数 ) | |
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26
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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27
protruded
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28
allayed
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| v.减轻，缓和( allay的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29
smelt
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| v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼 | |
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30
slumbers
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| 睡眠，安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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31
luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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32
unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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33
adorned
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| [计]被修饰的 | |
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34
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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35
discreetly
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| ad.(言行)审慎地，慎重地 | |
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36
solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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37
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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38
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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39
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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40
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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41
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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42
providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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43
blithely
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| adv.欢乐地，快活地，无挂虑地 | |
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44
random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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45
mower
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| n.割草机 | |
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46
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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47
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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48
mowing
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| n.割草，一次收割量，牧草地v.刈，割( mow的现在分词 ) | |
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49
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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50
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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51
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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52
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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53
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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54
sip
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| v.小口地喝，抿，呷；n.一小口的量 | |
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55
cumulative
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| adj.累积的，渐增的 | |
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56
avenged
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| v.为…复仇，报…之仇( avenge的过去式和过去分词 )；为…报复 | |
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