Uncle Josh in a Chinese Laundry

 I S'POSE I got tangled¹ up the other day with the dogondest lookin' critter I calculate I ever seen in all my born days, and I've bin² around purty considerable. I'd seen all sorts of cooriosoties and monstrosities in cirkuses and meenagerys, but that wuz the fust time I'd ever seen a critter with his head and tail on the same end. You see I sed to a feller, now whar abouts in New York do you folks git your washin' done; when I left hum to come down here I lowed I had enuff with me to do me, but I've stayed here a little longer than I calculated to, and if I don't git some washin' done purty soon, I'll have to go and jump in the river.

 

Wall he wuz a bligin sort of a feller, and he told me thar wuz a place round the corner whar a feller done all the washin', so I went round, and there was a sine on the winder what sed Hop⁴ Quick, or Hop Soon, or jump up and hop, or some other kind of a durned hop; and then thar wuz a lot of figers on the winder that I couldn't make head nor tail on; it jist looked to me like a chicken with mud on its feet had walked over that winder.

 

Wall I went in to see bout³ gittin' my washin' done, and gosh all spruce gum, thar was one of them pig tailed heathen Chineeze, he jist looked fer all the world like a picter on Aunt Nancy Smith's tea cups. I wuz sort of sot back fer a minnit, coz 'I sed to myself—I don't spose this durned critter can talk English; but seein' as how I'm in here, I might as well find out. So I told him I'd like to git him to do some washin' fer me, and he commenced a talkin' some outlandish lingo⁵, sounded to me like cider runnin' out of a jug⁶, somethin' like—ung tong oowong fang⁷ kai moi oo ung we, velly good washee. Wall I understood the last of it and jist took his word fer the rest, so I giv him my clothes and he giv me a little yeller ticket that he painted with a brush what he had, and I'll jist bet a yoke⁸ of steers⁹ agin the holler in a log, that no livin' mortal man could read that ticket; it looked like a fly had fell into the ink bottle and then crawled over the paper. Wall I showed it to a gentleman what was a standin' thar when I cum out, and I sed to him—mister, what in thunder is this here thing, and he sed "Wall sir that's a sort of a lotery ticket; every time you leave your clothes thar to have them washed you git one of them tickets, and then you have a chance to draw a prize of some kind." So I sed—wall now I want to know, how much is the blamed thing wuth, and he sed "I spose bout ten cents," and I told him if he wanted my chants for ten cents he could hav it, I didn't want to get tangled up in any lotery gamblin' bizness with that saucer faced scamp. So he giv me ten cents and he took the ticket, and in a couple of days I went round to git my washin', and that pig tailed heathen he wouldn't let me hev em, coz I'd lost that lotery ticket. So I sed—now look here Mr. Hop Soon, if you don't hop round and git me my collars and ciffs and other clothes what I left here, I'll be durned if I don't flop¹⁰ you in about a minnit, I will by chowder. Wall that critter he commenced hoppin around and a talkin faster 'n a buzz saw could turn, and all I could make out wuz—mee song lay tang moo me oo lay ung yong wo say mee tickee. Wall I seen jist as plain as could be that he wuz a tryin' to swindle me outen my clothes, so I made a grab fer him, and in less 'n a minnit we wuz a rollin' round on the floor; fust I wuz on top, and then Mr. Hop Soon wuz on top, and you couldn't hav told which one of us the pig tail belonged to. We upset the stove and kicked out the winder, and I sot Mr. Hop Soon in the wash tub, and when I got out of thar I had somebody's washin' in one hand and about five yards of that pig tail in tother, and Mr. Hop Soon, he wuz standin' thar yellin'—ung wa moo ye song ki le yung noy song oowe pelecee, pelecee, pelecee. I had quite a time with that heathen critter.

1 tangled   

adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• Your hair's so tangled that I can't comb it. 你的头发太乱了，我梳不动。
• A movement caught his eye in the tangled undergrowth. 乱灌木丛里的晃动引起了他的注意。

2 bin   

n.箱柜；vt.放入箱内；[计算机] DOS文件名:二进制目标文件

参考例句：

• He emptied several bags of rice into a bin.他把几袋米倒进大箱里。
• He threw the empty bottles in the bin.他把空瓶子扔进垃圾箱。

3 bout   

n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛

参考例句：

• I was suffering with a bout of nerves.我感到一阵紧张。
• That bout of pneumonia enfeebled her.那次肺炎的发作使她虚弱了。

4 hop   

n.单脚跳，跳跃；vi.单脚跳，跳跃；着手做某事；vt.跳跃，跃过

参考例句：

• The children had a competition to see who could hop the fastest.孩子们举行比赛，看谁单足跳跃最快。
• How long can you hop on your right foot?你用右脚能跳多远？

5 lingo   

n.语言不知所云，外国话，隐语

参考例句：

• If you live abroad it helps to know the local lingo.住在国外，学一点当地的语言自有好处。
• Don't use all that technical lingo try and explain in plain English.别尽用那种专门术语，用普通的词语解释吧。

6 jug   

n.(有柄，小口，可盛水等的)大壶，罐，盂

参考例句：

• He walked along with a jug poised on his head.他头上顶着一个水罐，保持着平衡往前走。
• She filled the jug with fresh water.她将水壶注满了清水。

7 fang   

n.尖牙，犬牙

参考例句：

• Look how the bone sticks out of the flesh like a dog's fang.瞧瞧,这根骨头从肉里露出来，象一只犬牙似的。
• The green fairy's fang thrusting between his lips.绿妖精的尖牙从他的嘴唇里龇出来。

8 yoke   

n.轭；支配；v.给...上轭，连接，使成配偶

参考例句：

• An ass and an ox,fastened to the same yoke,were drawing a wagon.驴子和公牛一起套在轭上拉车。
• The defeated army passed under the yoke.败军在轭门下通过。

9 steers   

n.阉公牛，肉用公牛( steer的名词复数 )v.驾驶( steer的第三人称单数 )；操纵；控制；引导

参考例句：

• This car steers easily. 这部车子易于驾驶。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Good fodder fleshed the steers up. 优质饲料使菜牛长肉。 来自辞典例句

10 flop   

n.失败(者)，扑通一声；vi.笨重地行动，沉重地落下

参考例句：

• The fish gave a flop and landed back in the water.鱼扑通一声又跳回水里。
• The marketing campaign was a flop.The product didn't sell.市场宣传彻底失败，产品卖不出去。