Uncle Josh at the Opera

 WALL, I sed to mother when I left hum, now mother, when I git down to New York City I'm goin' to see a regular first-class theater. We never had many theater doin's down our way. Wall, thar wuz a theater troop cum to Punkin Centre along last summer, but we couldn't let 'em hav the Opery House to show in 'cause it wuz summer time and the Opery House wuz full of hay, and we couldn't let 'em hav it 'cause we hadn't any place to put the hay. An then about a year and a half ago thar wuz a troop cum along that wuz somethin' about Uncle Tom's home; they left a good many of their things behind 'em when they went away. Ezra Hoskins he got one of the mules², and he tried to hitch³ it up one day; Doctor says he thinks Ezra will be around in about six weeks. I traded one of the dogs to Ruben Hendricks fer a shot gun; Rube cum over t'other day, borrowed the gun and shot the dog.

 

Wall, I got into one of your theaters here, got sot down and wuz lookin' at it; and it wuz a mighty⁴ fine lookin' pictur with a lot of lights shinin' on it, and I wuz enjoyin' it fust rate, when a lot of fellers cum out with horns and fiddles⁵, and they all started in to fiddlin' and tootin', end all to once they pulled the theatre up, and thar wuz a lot of folks having a regular family quarrel. I knowed that wasn't any of my business, and I sort of felt uneasy like; but none of the rest of the folks seemed to mind it any, so I calculated I'd see how it cum out, though my hands sort of itched⁶ to get hold of one feller, 'cause I could see if he would jest go 'way and tend to his own business thar wouldn't be any quarrel. Wall, jest then a young feller handed me a piece of paper what told all about the theater doin's, and I got to lookin' at that and I noticed on it whar it sed thar wuz five years took place 'tween the fust part and the second part. I knowed durned well I wouldn't have time to wait and see the second part, so I got up and went out. Wall, them theater doin's jest put me in mind of somethin' what happened down hum on the last day of school. You see the school teacher got all the big boys and the big girls, and the boys they read essays and the girls recited poetry. One of the Skinner girls recited a piece that sooted⁷ me fust rate. Neer as I kin¹ remember it went somethin' like this:

 

     How nice to hear the bumble-bee

         When you go out a fishin',

     But if you happen to sot down on him,

         He'll spoil your disposition⁸.

I liked that; thar wuz somethin' so touchin' about it. Then the school teacher he got all the girls in the 'stronomy class and he dressed them up to represent the different kinds of planits. He had one girl to represent the sun—she wuz red-headed; and another one to represent the moon, and another one fer Mars, and another one fer Jerupetir, and it looked mighty fine, and everythin' wuz a gettin' along fust rate 'til old Jim Lawson 'lowed he could make an improvement on it; so he went out and got a colord girl, and he wanted to sot her between the sun and the moon and make an eklips. And as usual he busted⁹ up the whole doin's.

1 kin   

n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的

参考例句：

• He comes of good kin.他出身好。
• She has gone to live with her husband's kin.她住到丈夫的亲戚家里去了。

2 mules   

骡( mule的名词复数 )； 拖鞋； 顽固的人； 越境运毒者

参考例句：

• The cart was pulled by two mules. 两匹骡子拉这辆大车。
• She wore tight trousers and high-heeled mules. 她穿紧身裤和拖鞋式高跟鞋。

3 hitch   

v.免费搭(车旅行)；系住；急提；n.故障；急拉

参考例句：

• They had an eighty-mile journey and decided to hitch hike.他们要走80英里的路程，最后决定搭便车。
• All the candidates are able to answer the questions without any hitch.所有报考者都能对答如流。

4 mighty   

adj.强有力的；巨大的

参考例句：

• A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
• The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。

5 fiddles   

n.小提琴( fiddle的名词复数 )；欺诈；（需要运用手指功夫的）细巧活动；当第二把手v.伪造( fiddle的第三人称单数 )；篡改；骗取；修理或稍作改动

参考例句：

• He fiddles with his papers on the table. 他抚弄着桌子上那些报纸。 来自辞典例句
• The annual Smithsonian Festival of American Folk Life celebrates hands-hands plucking guitars and playing fiddles. 一年一度的美国民间的“史密斯索尼安节”是赞美人的双手的节日--弹拔吉他的手，演奏小提琴的手。 来自辞典例句

6 itched   

v.发痒( itch的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Seeing the children playing ping-pong, he itched to have a go. 他看到孩子们打乒乓，不觉技痒。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• He could hardly sIt'still and itched to have a go. 他再也坐不住了，心里跃跃欲试。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

7 sooted   

v.煤烟，烟灰( soot的过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The flue has become sooted up. 烟道里都是黑灰。 来自辞典例句

8 disposition   

n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署

参考例句：

• He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
• He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。

9 busted   

adj. 破产了的，失败了的，被降级的，被逮捕的，被抓到的 动词bust的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• You are so busted! 你被当场逮住了！
• It was money troubles that busted up their marriage. 是金钱纠纷使他们的婚姻破裂了。