Uncle Josh Plays a Game of Base Ball

 I HAD heered a whole lot 'bout¹ them games of foot ball they have in New York, so while I was thar I jist cum to the conclusion I'd see a game of it, so went out to one of their city pasters to see a game of foot ball. Wall now I must say I didn't see much ball playin' of any kind. All I got to see wuz about fifty or sixty ambulances, and I think about that many surgons and phisicians. Wall, from what I could see of the game I calculate³ they needed all of them. I saw one feller and 'bout fifty others had him down, and it jist looked as though they wuz all trying to get a kick at him. They had a half back and a quarter back; I suppose when they got through with that feller he wuz a hump back. Anyhow, if that's what they call foot ball playin', your Uncle Josh don't want any foot ball in his'n.

 

I never played but one game of ball in my life that I kin² remember on, and don't believe that I ever will forgit that. You see it wuz along in the spring time of the yeer, and the weather wuz purty warm and sunshiny, and the boys sed to me, "Uncle, we'd like to have you help us play a game of base ball." I sed, "Boys, I'm gittin' a little too old fer those kinds of passtimes, but I'll help you play one game, I'll be durned if I don't." Wall, we got out in the paster and wuz gittin' ready to play; we got the bases and bats put around in thar places, and a buckit of drinkin' water up in the fence⁴ corner, whar we could get a drink when we wanted it. We didn't have any bleachers, but we had thirty or forty hogs⁵, and they wuz the best rooters you ever seen; jist then I happened to look around and thar wuz the biggest billy goat I ever saw in all my life. You ought to seen the boys a-gittin' out of the paster; I would hav got out too, but I got stuck in the fence. Wall, you ought to hav seen that billy goat a-gittin' me through the fence. He didn't git me all the way through, cos I wuz half way through when he got thar; but he got the last half through. I didn't make any home run, but I wuz the only feller what had a score of the game; I couldn't see the score, but I had it. Every time I'd go to sot down I knowed jist exactly how the game stood.

 

They hav a good many new fangled games now, but when they git anything that can beet⁶ a game of base ball with a billy goat fer a battery⁷, durned if I don't want to see it.

1 bout   

n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛

参考例句：

• I was suffering with a bout of nerves.我感到一阵紧张。
• That bout of pneumonia enfeebled her.那次肺炎的发作使她虚弱了。

2 kin   

n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的

参考例句：

• He comes of good kin.他出身好。
• She has gone to live with her husband's kin.她住到丈夫的亲戚家里去了。

3 calculate   

vt.计算，核算；估计，推测；计划，打算

参考例句：

• He must calculate the probability of failure.他必须计算一下失败的概率。
• I'll calculate what it will cost.我要估计一下那要花多少钱。

4 fence   

n.围墙，剑术；v.用篱笆围住，练习剑术，防护；[计算机]栅栏

参考例句：

• They put a fence around the garden.他们在园子的周围建起了篱笆。
• The thief jumped himself over a fence and escaped.贼纵身跃过篱笆逃走了。

5 hogs   

n.（尤指喂肥供食用的）猪( hog的名词复数 )；（供食用的）阉公猪；彻底地做某事；自私的或贪婪的人

参考例句：

• 'sounds like -- like hogs grunting. “像——像是猪发出的声音。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险
• I hate the way he hogs down his food. 我讨厌他那副狼吞虎咽的吃相。 来自辞典例句

6 beet   

n.甜菜；甜菜根

参考例句：

• He farmed his pickers to work in the beet fields. 他出租他的摘棉工去甜菜地里干活。
• The sugar beet is an entirely different kind of plant.糖用甜菜是一种完全不同的作物。

7 battery   

n.电池；一批；金属物件；群；【律】殴打

参考例句：

• He is charging a storage battery.他在为蓄电池充电。
• The battery has run down.电池用完了。