Uncle Josh Weathersby's Trip to Boston

 FER a long time I had my mind made up to go down to Boston, so a short time ago, as I had all my crops and produce mostly sold, I alowed it would be a good time to go down thar, and I sed to mother, "I'll start early in the mornin' and take a load of produce with me, and that will sort of pay expenses of the trip."

 

Wall, I got into Boston next mornin' bright and early, 'bout¹ time they had their breakfast, and I looked 'round fer a spell; then finally I picked out a right likely lookin' store, and jist conclooded I'd sell my load of produce thar. Wall, I went in and I met a feller 'nd I sed, "Good mornin', be you the storekeeper?" And he sed, "No, sir, I'm only one of the clerks." So I sed, "Wall, be the storekeeper to hum?" And he sed, "Yes, sir, would you like to see him?" And I told him as how I would, and he turned 'round and commenced to hollerin' "FRONT," and a boy cum up what had more brass² buttins on him than a whole regiment³ of soljers. I thought that wuz a durned funny name fer a boy—front—and that clerk feller he wuz about the most importent thing I'd seen in Boston so far, less maybe it wuz the Bunker Hill monument that I druv past cummin' to town. He had on a biled collar that sort of put me in mind of the whitewashed⁴ fence 'round the fair grounds down hum. I'll bet if he'd ever sneeze it would cut his ears off.

 

Wall, anyhow, he sed to that front boy, "Show the gentleman to the proprietor's offis." Wall, I went along with that boy, and presently we cum to a place in one corner of that store; it wuz made out of iron and had bars in front of the winders, and looked like the county jale. The front boy p'inted to a man and sed, "Go in," and I sed, "I gessed I wouldn't go in thar, cos I hadn't done anything to be locked up fer." And that front boy commenced to laffin' tho' durned if I could see what he wuz a-laffin' about, and the storekeeper he opened the door and cum out, and he sed, "Good mornin', what can I do fer you?" I sed, "Be you the storekeeper?" and he sed he wuz. So I sed, "Do you want to buy any pertaters?" And he sed, "No, sir, we don't buy pertaters here; this a dry goods store." So I sed, "Wall, don't want any cabbage, do ye?" And he sed, "No, sir, this is a dry goods store." So I sed, "Wall, now, I want to know; do you need any onions?" And by chowder, he got madder 'n a wet hen. He sed, "Now look a-heer, I want you to understand onct fer all, this is a dry goods store, and we don't buy anything but dry goods and don't sell anything but dry goods; do you understand me now? DRY GOODS." And I sed, "Yes, gess I understand you; you don't need to git so tarnaly riled about the matter; neer as I can figure it out you jist buy dry goods and sell 'em." And he sed, "Yes, sir, only dry goods." So I sed, "Do you want to buy some mighty⁵ good dried apples?"

 

Wall, that front boy got to laffin, and a lot of wimmin clerks giggled⁶ right out, and the storekeeper he commenced a-laffin', too, and fer about a minnit I thought they'd all went crazy to onct. Wall, he told a feller to show me whar I could sell my produce, and I disposed of it at a good bargain.

 

I like them Boston folks, they try to make you feel to hum, and enjoy yourself and be soshable, and I wuz chuck full of soshability, too; I wuz goin' up one street and down t'other, jist a-gettin' soshability at ten cents a soshable.

 

Wall, I gess I seen about everything wuth seein' in Boston, and I wuz a-standin' along-side of one of their old churches, a-lookin' at the semetry, and I gess thar wuz folks in thar burried nigh unto three hundred years. And I wuz jist a-thinkin' what they'd say if they could wake up and see Boston now, when I noticed a row of little toomstones, and one of them it sed, "Hester Brown, beloved wife of James Brown," and on another it sed, "Prudence⁷ Brown, beloved wife of James Brown," and on another it sed, "Thankful Brown, beloved wife of James Brown." Wall, I couldn't jist make out what she had to be thankful about, but I sed, "Jimmy, you had a right lively time while you wuz in Boston, didn't you?" Then I seen another toomstone and on it it sed, "Matilda Brown, beloved wife of James Brown," and another one what sed,

 

"Sara Ann Brown, beloved wife of James Brown," and over in a little corner, all to itself, I seen a toomstone, and on it it sed, "James Brown, At Rest."

 

 

1 bout   

n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛

参考例句：

• I was suffering with a bout of nerves.我感到一阵紧张。
• That bout of pneumonia enfeebled her.那次肺炎的发作使她虚弱了。

2 brass   

n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器

参考例句：

• Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.许多工人都在工厂铜管乐队中演奏。
• Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。

3 regiment   

n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制

参考例句：

• As he hated army life,he decide to desert his regiment.因为他嫌恶军队生活，所以他决心背弃自己所在的那个团。
• They reformed a division into a regiment.他们将一个师整编成为一个团。

4 whitewashed   

粉饰，美化，掩饰( whitewash的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The wall had been whitewashed. 墙已粉过。
• The towers are in the shape of bottle gourds and whitewashed. 塔呈圆形，状近葫芦，外敷白色。 来自汉英文学 - 现代散文

5 mighty   

adj.强有力的；巨大的

参考例句：

• A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
• The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。

6 giggled   

v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The girls giggled at the joke. 女孩子们让这笑话逗得咯咯笑。
• The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 prudence   

n.谨慎，精明，节俭

参考例句：

• A lack of prudence may lead to financial problems.不够谨慎可能会导致财政上出现问题。
• The happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.幸运者都把他们的成功归因于谨慎或功德。