The city of Gakwak being about to lose its character of capital of the province of Ukwuk, the Wampog issued a proclamation convening1 all the male residents in council in the Temple of Ul to devise means of defence. The first speaker thought the best policy would be to offer a fried jackass to the gods. The second suggested a public procession, headed by the Wampog himself, bearing the Holy Poker2 on a cushion of cloth-of-brass. Another thought that a scarlet3 mole4 should be buried alive in the public park and a suitable incantation chanted over the remains5. The advice of the fourth was that the columns of the capitol be rubbed with oil of dog by a person having a moustache on the calf6 of his leg. When all the others had spoken an Aged7 Man rose and said:
“High and mighty8 Wampog and fellow-citizens, I have listened attentively9 to all the plans proposed. All seem wise, and I do not suffer myself to doubt that any one of them would be efficacious. Nevertheless, I cannot help thinking that if we would put an improved breed of polliwogs in our drinking water, construct shallower roadways, groom10 the street cows, offer the stranger within our gates a free choice between the poniard and the potion, and relinquish11 our private system of morals, the other measures of public safety would be needless.”
The Aged Man was about to speak further, but the meeting informally adjourned12 in order to sweep the floor of the temple — for the men of Gakwak are the tidiest housewives in all that province. The last speaker was the broom.
1 convening | |
召开( convene的现在分词 ); 召集; (为正式会议而)聚集; 集合 | |
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2 poker | |
n.扑克;vt.烙制 | |
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3 scarlet | |
n.深红色,绯红色,红衣;adj.绯红色的 | |
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4 mole | |
n.胎块;痣;克分子 | |
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5 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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6 calf | |
n.小牛,犊,幼仔,小牛皮 | |
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7 aged | |
adj.年老的,陈年的 | |
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8 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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9 attentively | |
adv.聚精会神地;周到地;谛;凝神 | |
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10 groom | |
vt.给(马、狗等)梳毛,照料,使...整洁 | |
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11 relinquish | |
v.放弃,撤回,让与,放手 | |
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12 adjourned | |
(使)休会, (使)休庭( adjourn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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