Chapter 30

HAT was then called Fort Vancouver was a station of theHudson's Bay Company. We took up our quarters here till oneof the company's vessels - the 'Mary Dare,' a brig of 120tons, was ready to sail for the Sandwich Islands. This wasabout the most uncomfortable trip I ever made. A sailingmerchant brig of 120 tons, deeply laden, is not exactly apleasure yacht; and 2,000 miles is a long voyage. For tendays we lay at anchor at the mouth of the Columbia, detainedby westerly gales. A week after we put to sea, all our freshprovisions were consumed, and we had to live on our cargo -dried salmon. We three and the captain more than filled thelittle hole of a cabin. There wasn't even a hammock, and wehad to sleep on the deck, or on the lockers. The fleas, thecockroaches, and the rats, romped over and under one allnight. Not counting the time it took to go down the river,or the ten days we were kept at its mouth, we were just sixweeks at sea before we reached Woahoo, on Christmas Day.

　　How beautiful the islands looked as we passed between them,with a fair wind and studding sails set alow and aloft.

　　Their tropical charms seemed more glowing, the water bluer,the palm trees statelier, the vegetation more libertine thanever. On the south the land rises gradually from the shoreto a range of lofty mountains. Immediately behind Honolulu -the capital - a valley with a road winding up it leads to thenorth side of the island. This valley is, or was then,richly cultivated, principally with TARO, a large root notunlike the yam. Here and there native huts were dottedabout, with gardens full of flowers, and abundance oftropical fruit. Higher up, where it becomes too steep forcultivation, growth of all kind is rampant. Acacias,oranges, maples, bread-fruit, and sandal-wood trees, reartheir heads above the tangled ever-greens. The high peaks,constantly in the clouds, arrest the moisture of the oceanatmosphere, and countless rills pour down the mountain sides,clothing everything in perpetual verdure. The climate is oneof the least changeable in the world; the sea breeze blowsday and night, and throughout the year the day temperaturedoes not vary more than five or six degrees, the averagebeing about eighty-three degrees Fahrenheit in the shade. In1850 the town of Honolulu was little else than a nativevillage of grass and mat huts. Two or three merchants hadgood houses. In one of these Fred and Samson were domiciled;there was no such thing as a hotel. I was the guest ofGeneral Miller, the Consul-General. What changes may havetaken place since the above date I have no means of knowing.

　　So far as the natives go, the change will assuredly have beenfor the worse; for the aborigines, in all parts of the world,lose their primitive simplicity and soon acquire the worstvices of civilisation.

　　Even King Tamehameha III. was not innocent of one of them.

　　General Miller offered to present us at court, but he had togive several days' notice in order that his Majesty might besufficiently sober to receive us. A negro tailor from theUnited States fitted us out with suits of black, and on theappointed day we put ourselves under the shade of the oldGeneral's cocked hat, and marched in a body to the palace. Anative band, in which a big drum had the leading part,received us with 'God save the Queen' - whether in honour ofKing Tamy, or of his visitors, was not divulged. We werefirst introduced to a number of chiefs in European uniforms -except as to their feet, which were mostly bootless. Theirnames sounded like those of the state officers in Mr.

　　Gilbert's 'Mikado.' I find in my journal one entered asTovey-tovey, another as Kanakala. We were then conducted tothe presence chamber by the Foreign Minister, Mr. Wiley, avery pronounced Scotch gentleman with a star of the firstmagnitude on his breast. The King was dressed as an Englishadmiral. The Queen, whose ample undulations also remindedone of the high seas, was on his right; while in perfectgradation on her right again were four princesses in shortfrocks and long trousers, with plaited tails tied with blueribbon, like the Miss Kenwigs. A little side dispute arosebetween the stiff old General and the Foreign Minister as towhose right it was to present us. The Consul carried theday; but the Scot, not to be beaten, informed Tamehameha, ina long prefatory oration, of the object of the ceremony.

　　Taking one of us by the hand (I thought the peppery oldGeneral would have thrust him aside), Mr. Wiley told the Kingthat it was seldom the Sandwich Islands were 'veesited' bystrangers of such 'desteenction' - that the Duke of this(referring to Fred's relations), and Lord the other, were thegreatest noblemen in the world; then, with much solemnity,quoted a long speech from Shakespeare, and handed us over tohis rival.

　　His Majesty, who did not understand a word of English, orScotch, looked grave and held tight to the arm of the throne;for the truth is, that although he had relinquished hisbottle for the hour, he had brought its contents with him.

　　My salaam was soon made; but as I retired backwards I had themisfortune to set my heel on the toes of a black-and-tanterrier, a privileged pet of the General's. The shriek ofthe animal and the loss of my equilibrium nearly precipitatedme into the arms of a trousered princess; but the amiableyoung lady only laughed. Thus ended my glimpse of theHawaian Court. Mr. Wiley afterwards remarked to me: 'We dothings in a humble way, ye'll obsairve; but royalty isroyalty all over the world, and His Majesty Tamehameha is asmuch Keng of his ain domeenions as Victoria is Queen ofBreetain.' The relativity of greatness was not to be denied.

　　The men - Kanakas, as they are called - are fine stalwartfellows above our average height. The only clothing theythen wore was the MARO, a cloth made by themselves of theacacia bark. This they pass between the legs, and once ortwice round the loins. The WYHEENES - women - formerly worenothing but a short petticoat or kilt of the same material.

　　By persuasion of the missionaries they have exchanged thissimple garment for a chemise of printed calico, with thewaist immediately under the arms so as to conceal the contourof the figure. Other clothing have they none.

　　Are they the more chaste? Are they the less seductive -?

　　Hear what M. Anatole France says in his apostrophe to thesex: 'Pour faire de vous la terrible merveille que vous etesaujourd'hui, pour devenir la cause indifferente et souverainedes sacrifices et des crimes, il vous a fallu deux choses:

　　la civilisation qui vous donna des voiles, et la religion quivous donna des scrupules.' The translation of which is(please take note of it, my dear young ladies with 'lesepaules qui ne finissent pas'):

　　'Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheardAre sweeter.'

　　Be this as it may, these chocolate-skinned beauties, withtheir small and regular features, their rosy lips, theirperfect teeth - of which they take great care - theirluxurious silky tresses, their pretty little hands and nakedfeet, and their exquisite forms, would match the matchlessCleopatra.

　　Through the kindness of Fred's host, the principal merchantin the island, we were offered an opportunity of becomingacquainted with the ELITE of the Honolulu nymphs. Mr. S.

　　invited us to what is called a LOOHOU feast got up by him fortheir entertainment. The head of one of the most picturesquevalleys in Woahoo was selected for the celebration of thisancient festival. Mounted on horses with which Mr. S. hadfurnished us, we repaired in a party to the appointed spot.

　　It was early in the afternoon when we reached it; none of theguests had arrived, excepting a few Kanakas, who were engagedin thatching an old shed as shelter from the sun, andstrewing the ground with a thick carpet of palm-leaves. Erelong, a cavalcade of between thirty and forty amazons - theyall rode astride - came racing up the valley at full speed,their merry shouts proclaiming their approach. Gaudy stripsof MARO were loosely folded around their legs for skirts.

　　Their pretty little straw hats trimmed with ribbons, or theiruncovered heads with their long hair streaming in the wind,confined only by a wreath of fresh orange flowers, added totheir irresistible charm. Certainly, the bravest soldierscould not have withstood their charge. No men, however, wereadmitted, save those who had been expressly invited; but eachlady of importance was given a CARTE BLANCHE to bring as manyof her own sex as she pleased, provided they were both prettyand respectable.

　　As they rode up, we cavaliers, with becoming gallantry,offered our assistance while they dismounted. Smittenthrough and through by the bright eyes of one little houriwho possessed far more than her share of the firstrequirement, and, taking the second for granted, Icourteously prepared to aid her to alight; when, to mydiscomfiture, instead of a gracious acknowledgment of myservices, she gave me a sharp cut with her whip. As,however, she laughed merrily at my wry faces, I accepted theact as a scratch of the kitten's claws; at least, it was nosign of indifference, and giving myself the benefit of thedoubt, lifted her from her saddle without furtherchastisement, except a coquettish smile that wounded, alas!

　　more than it healed.

　　The feast was thus prepared: poultry, sucking-pigs, andpuppies - the last, after being scalded and scraped, werestuffed with vegetables and spices, rolled in plantainleaves, and placed in the ground upon stones already heated.

　　More stones were then laid over them, and fires lighted onthe top of all. While the cooking was in progress, theKanakas ground TARO roots for the paste called 'poe'; thegirls danced and sang. The songs were devoid of melody,being musical recitations of imaginary love adventures,accompanied by swayings of the body and occasional choralinterruptions, all becoming more and more excited as thestory or song approached its natural climax. Sometimes thiswas varied by a solitary dancer starting from the circle, andperforming the wildest bacchanalian antics, to the vocalincitement of the rest. This only ended with physicalexhaustion, or collapse from feminine hysteria.

　　The food was excellent; the stuffed puppy was a dish for anepicure. Though knives and forks were unknown, and eachhelped herself from the plantain leaf, one had not the leastobjection to do likewise, for the most scrupulous cleanlinessis one of the many merits of these fascinating creatures.

　　Before every dip into the leaf, the dainty little fingerswere plunged into bowls of fresh water provided for thepurpose. Delicious fruit followed the substantial fare; asmall glass of KAVA - a juice extracted from a root of thepepper tribe - was then served to all alike. Having watchedthe process of preparing the beverage, I am unable to speakas to its flavour. The making of it is remarkable. A numberof women sit on the ground, chew the root, and spit its juiceinto a bowl. The liquor is kept till it ferments, afterwhich it becomes highly intoxicating. I regret to say thatits potency was soon manifested on this occasion. No soonerdid the poison set their wild blood tingling, than a freefight began for the remaining gourds. Such a scratching,pulling of hair, clawing, kicking, and crying, were neverseen. Only by main force did we succeed in restoring peace.

　　It is but fair to state that, except on the celebration ofone or two solemn and sacred rites such as that of theLOOHOU, these island Thyades never touch fermented liquors.