ON THE THIRD DAY after Christmas Nikolay dined at home, which he had rarely done of late. This was a farewell dinner in Nikolay's honour, as he was to set off with Denisov after the baptism festival to rejoin his regiment. Twenty persons were dining, among them Dolohov and Denisov.
Never had the love in the air of the Rostovs' house, never had the atmosphere of being in love, made itself so strongly felt as during those Christmas holidays. “Seize the moment of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only thing real in the world; the rest is all nonsense. And that is the one thing we are interested in here,” was the sentiment that atmosphere was eloquent of.
After exhausting two pairs of horses, as he did every day without having been everywhere he ought to have been, and everywhere he had been invited, Nikolay reached home just at dinner-time. As soon as he went in he felt that intense atmosphere of love in the house, but in addition to that he became conscious of a strange embarrassment that seemed to prevail between certain persons in the company. Sonya seemed particularly disturbed, so did Dolohov and the old countess, and in a lesser degree Natasha. Nikolay saw that something must have passed before dinner between Sonya and Dolohov, and with the delicate instinct characteristic of him, he was very sympathetic and wary with both of them during dinner. On that evening there was to be one of the dances given by Iogel, the dancing-master, during the holidays to his pupils.
“Nikolenka, are you going to Iogel's? Please, do go,” said Natasha; “he particularly begged you to, and Vassily Dmitritch” (this was Denisov) “is going.”
“Where would I not go at the countess's commands!” said Denisov, who had jestingly taken up the role of Natasha's knight in the Rostov household. “I am ready to dance the pas de chale.”
“If I have time! I promised the Arharovs; they have a party,” said Nikolay.
“And you? …” he turned to Dolohov. And as soon as he had asked the question, he saw that he should not have asked it.
“Yes, possibly …” Dolohov answered coldly and angrily, glancing at Sonya; and he glanced again, scowling at Nikolay with exactly the same look with which he had looked at Pierre at the club dinner.
“There's something wrong,” thought Nikolay; and he was still more confirmed in that surmise, when immediately after dinner Dolohov went away. He beckoned Natasha, and asked her what had happened.
“I was looking for you,” said Natasha, running out to him. “I told you so, and still you wouldn't believe me,” she said triumphantly; “he has made Sonya an offer.”
Little as Nikolay had been thinking of Sonya of late, he felt as if something were being torn from him when he heard this. Dolohov was a good, and in some respects a brilliant, match for the portionless orphan Sonya. From the point of view of the countess and of society it was out of the question for her to refuse him. And so Nikolay's first feeling when he heard of it was one of exasperation against Sonya. He braced himself up to say, “And a capital thing, too; of course she must forget her childish promises and accept the offer”; but he had not succeeded in saying this when Natasha said:
“Only fancy! she has refused him, absolutely refused him! She says she loves some one else,” she added after a brief pause.
“Yes, my Sonya could not do otherwise!” thought Nikolay.
“Mamma begged her ever so many times not to, but she refused; and I know she won't change, if she has said a thing.…”
“And mamma begged her not to!” Nikolay said reproachfully.
“Yes,” said Natasha. “Do you know, Nikolenka—don't be angry— but I know you won't marry her. I know—I don't know why—but I know for certain that you won't marry her.”
“Well, you can't know that,” said Nikolay; “but I want to talk to her. How charming Sonya is!” he added, smiling.
“Yes, she is so charming! I'll send her in to you.” And Natasha kissed her brother and ran away.
A minute later Sonya came in, looking frightened, distraught, and guilty. Nikolay went up to her and kissed her hand. It was the first time since his return that they had talked alone and of their love.
“Sophie,” he said to her, at first timidly, but more and more boldly as he went on, “if you were simply refusing a brilliant, an advantageous match—but he's a splendid, noble fellow … he's my friend…”
Sonya interrupted him.
“I have refused him,” she said hastily.
“If you are refusing him for my sake, I am afraid that I…”
Sonya again cut him short. With frightened, imploring eyes she looked at him.
“Nikolenka, don't say that to me,” she said.
“No, I must. Perhaps it's suffisance on my part, but still it's better to say it. If you are refusing him on my account, I ought to tell you the whole truth. I love you, I believe, more than any one …”
“That's enough for me,” said Sonya, flushing crimson.
“No; but I have been in love a thousand times, and I shall fall in love again, though such a feeling of affection, confidence and love I have for no one as for you. Then I am young. Mamma does not wish it. Well—in fact—I can make no promise. And I beg you to consider the offer of Dolohov,” he said, with an effort articulating the name of his friend.
“Don't speak to me of it. I want nothing. I love you as a brother, and shall always love you, and I want nothing more.”
“You are an angel; I'm not worthy of you, but I am only afraid of deceiving you.”
Nikolay kissed her hand once more.
圣诞节后的第三天，尼古拉在家中用午餐，这是他迩来少有的事儿。这是一次正式的告别午宴，因为他和杰尼索夫在主显节后就要动身回到兵团里去。二十人左右出席午宴，其中包括多洛霍夫和杰尼索夫。
在罗斯托夫家中，从来不像这几天过节那样强烈地令人感到爱情的空气、迷恋的气氛。“抓紧幸福的时刻，迫使你自己和他人发生爱情，让你自己陶醉于爱情之中！只有这一点才是尘世上的真正的人生，其馀一切都是无稽之谈。我们在这里忙着做的正是这件事。”这种气氛仿佛在说话。
像平常一样，尼古拉把四匹马累得疲惫不堪了，也来不及遍访他要去和邀请他去做客的地方，他回到家里正赶上吃午饭。他刚走进来，就发现并且感觉到家里有一种紧张的恋爱的气氛，此外，他还发现在几个社交界人士之间充分显露出一种奇怪的仓惶失措的神态。索尼娅、多洛霍夫、老伯爵夫人特别焦急，娜塔莎也略微不安。尼古拉明白，索尼娅和多洛霍夫之间在午饭前想必发生了什么事情，在吃午饭时，他满怀着他所固有的体贴别人的心情，非常温柔地、谨慎地对待他们二人。佳节的第三天晚上，约格尔（教跳舞的师座）家中必然要举行一次舞会，他每逢佳节必然为男女学生举办舞会。
“尼古连卡，你到约格尔那里去吗？请你去吧。”娜塔莎对他说道，“他特意邀请你去，瓦西里·德米特里奇（他就是杰尼索夫）也去。”
“遵照伯爵夫人的命令，我哪儿不敢去呢！”杰尼索夫说，在罗斯托夫家里他诙谐地把他自己装扮成娜塔莎的骑士，“我准备跳pas de chaBle①。”
①法语：披巾舞。
“只要来得及！我答应了阿尔哈罗夫了，他们那里要举行一次晚会。”尼古拉说道。
“你呢？……”他把脸转向多洛霍夫，说道。他刚刚开口问到这件事，就发现，没有必要去问它。
“是的，也许是这样……”多洛霍夫看了看索尼娅，他恼怒地、冷漠地回答，蹙起额角，那目光俨像在俱乐部举办的宴会上打量皮埃尔似的，他又用这种目光向尼古拉瞥了一眼。
“弄出了什么名堂，”尼古拉想了想。多洛霍夫在午饭后马上就走了。这就使得尼古拉更加坚信自己的推测。他把娜塔莎喊来，并且问她这是怎么回事。
“我找过你了，”娜塔莎跑到他跟前说道，“我多次地说，你老是不愿意相信，”她洋洋得意地说，“他向索尼娅求婚了。”
不管尼古拉这一段时间怎样不太关心索尼娅，但当他听到这件事以后，他身上好像失去了一件什么东西。多洛霍夫对没有嫁妆的而且孤独无依的索尼娅来说，是个体面的、在某些方面可以说是杰出的配偶。从老伯爵夫人和上流社会人士的观点出发，拒绝他是不行的。因此，当他听到这件事以后，最初的感觉是对索尼娅的愤恨。他在思想上准备说出这些话：“当然，最好要忘怀儿时的诺言，接受求婚才行。”但是他还没有来得及说完这句话……
“你可以设想！她拒绝了，完全拒绝了！”娜塔莎开了腔，“她说，她爱着另外一个人。”她沉默半晌，补充一句话。
“我的索尼娅不会有别的做法啊！”尼古拉想了片刻。
“无论妈妈总样求她，她还是拒绝了，所以我知道，假使她说了什么话，她决不会改口的……”
“妈妈求过她呀？”尼古拉责备地说。
“是啊，”娜塔莎说，“尼古连卡，你要知道，甭生气吧，但是我知道你是不会娶她的。我知道，天知道是什么缘故，我的确知道，你不会娶她为妻的。”
“得了，这一点你是决不会知道的，”尼古拉说，“可是我应当跟她谈谈。这个索尼娅长得多么漂亮啊！”他面露微笑，补充一句话。
“她漂亮极了！我把她送到你面前来，”于是娜塔莎吻吻哥哥，就跑开了。
一分钟后，索尼娅走进来，惶恐不安，六神无主，露出认罪的样子。尼古拉走到她跟前，吻吻她的手。这是他回家以后他们两人头一回单独地倾吐爱慕之情。
“索菲（索尼娅的法语称谓），”他说道，开头他胆怯，后来就越来越勇敢了，“既然您要拒绝他这个不仅杰出，而且对您有益的配偶，他是一个完美的、高尚的人……他是我的朋友……”
索尼娅打断他的话。
“我已经拒绝了。”她连忙说。
“如果您为我而拒绝的话，那么我怕我……”
索尼娅又打断他的话。她用那恳求的惶恐不安的目光望望他。
“尼古拉，不要向我提到这件事。”她说。
“不，我应该说。也许这是我的suffisance①，但是最好把全部情况说出来。如果您为我而拒绝的话，那么我应该把全部真相说给您听。我爱您，我想，我最爱您……”
①法语：过于自信的表现。
“我感到满足。”索尼娅满面通红地说。
“不，虽然我对任何人不像对您这样，谈不上友谊、信任和爱情，但是我恋爱过一千次了，以后还会恋爱。而且我太年轻，妈妈并不希望我这样做。我索兴什么都不答应。我要请您考虑多洛霍夫求婚的事。”他道出这句话，很费劲地说出自己的朋友的姓。
“请您不要对我谈论这件事吧。我什么都不想要。我像爱哥哥一样爱您，将永远爱您，我再不需要什么别的了。”
“您是个天使，我配不上您，不过，我只是害怕欺骗您。”
尼古拉又一次地吻吻她的手。
欢迎访问英文小说网http://novel.tingroom.com