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Book 9 Chapter 18

AT THE BEGINNING of July the rumours as to the progress of the war current in Moscow became more and more alarming; and there was talk of the Tsar's appeal to the people, and the Tsar himself was said to be coming from the army to Moscow. And as up to the 11th of July the manifesto and appeal to the people had not been received, the most exaggerated reports about them and the position of Russia were common. It was said that the Tsar was coming away because the army was in danger; it was said that Smolensk had surrendered; that Napoleon had millions of troops, and that nothing short of a miracle could save Russia.

On Saturday, the 11th of July, the manifesto was received, but was not yet in print; and Pierre, who happened to be at the Rostovs', promised to come next day, Sunday, to dinner, and to bring the manifesto, which he could obtain from Count Rastoptchin.

That Sunday the Rostovs attended service as usual in the private chapel of the Razumovskys. It was a hot July day. Even by ten o'clock, when the Rostovs got out of their carriage before the chapel, the sultry air, the shouts of the street hawkers, the gay, light summer dresses of the crowd, the dusty leaves of the trees on the boulevard, the martial music and white trousers of the battalion marching by to parade, the rattle of the pavements, and the brilliant, hot sunshine, were all full of that summer languor, that content and discontent with the present, which is felt particularly vividly on a bright, hot day in town. All the fashionable world of Moscow, all the Rostovs' acquaintances were in the chapel. A great number of wealthy families, who usually spent the summer in the country, were staying on in Moscow that year, as though in vague anticipation of something.

As Natasha walked beside her mother, behind a footman in livery, who made way for them through the crowd, she heard the voice of some young man speaking in too loud a whisper about her:

“That's the young Countess Rostov, the very girl!”

“She's ever so much thinner, but still pretty!” she caught, and fancied that the names of Kuragin and Bolkonsky were mentioned. But that was always happening. She was always fancying that any one who looked at her could be thinking of nothing but what happened to her. With a sinking heart, wretched as she always was now in a crowd, Natasha, in her lilac silk dress, trimmed with black lace, walked on, as only women know how to do, with an air of ease and dignity all the greater for the pain and shame in her heart. She knew for a fact that she was pretty, but that did not give her pleasure now, as once it had. On the contrary, it had been a source of more misery than anything of late, and especially so on this bright, hot summer day in town. “Another Sunday, another week,” she said to herself, recalling how she had been here on that memorable Sunday; “and still the same life that is no life, and still the same circumstances in which life used to seem so easy once. Young and pretty, and I know that now I am good, and before I was wicked! But now I am good,” she mused, “but yet the best years, the best of my life, are all being wasted, and no good to any one.” She stood by her mother's side, and nodded to the acquaintances who were standing near. From force of habit Natasha scrutinised the dresses of the ladies, and criticised the tenue of a lady standing near her, and the awkward and cramped way in which she was crossing herself. Then she thought with vexation that she was herself being criticised again, and was criticising others; and at the first sounds of the service she was horrified at her sinfulness, horrified that her purity of heart should be lost again.

A handsome, clean-looking old priest read the service with the mild solemnity that has such an elevating and soothing effect on the souls of those who pray. The sanctuary doors were closed, the curtain was slowly drawn, and a voice, mysteriously subdued, uttered some word from it. Tears, that she could not herself have explained, rose to Natasha's eyes, and a feeling of joyful agitation came upon her.

“Teach me what to do, how to live my life, how to conquer my sins for ever, for ever!”…she prayed. The deacon came out to the steps before the altar screen; with his thumb held out apart from the rest, he pulled his long hair out from under his surplice, and laying the cross on his breast, he began in a loud voice solemnly reading the prayer:

“As one community let us pray to the Lord.”

“As one community, all together without distinction of class, free from enmity, all united in brotherly love, let us pray,” thought Natasha.

“For the world above and the salvation of our souls!”

“For the world of angels and the souls of all spiritual beings who live above us,” prayed Natasha.

When they prayed for the army, she thought of her brother and Denisov. When they prayed for all travelling by sea and by land, she thought of Prince Andrey, and prayed for him, and prayed that God would forgive her the wrong she had done him. When they prayed for all who love us, she prayed for all her family, her father and mother, and Sonya—for the first time feeling all the shortcomings in her behaviour to them, and all the strength of her own love for them. When they prayed for those who hate us, she tried to think of enemies, to pray for them. She reckoned as enemies all her father's creditors, and every one who had business relations with him; and always at the thought of enemies who hated her she thought of Anatole, who had done her so cruel an injury, and though he had not hated her, she prayed gladly for him, as an enemy. It was only at her prayers that she felt able to think calmly and clearly either of Prince Andrey or of Anatole, with a sense that her feelings for them were as nothing compared with her feeling of worship and awe of God. When they prayed for the Imperial family and the Synod, she bowed and crossed herself more devoutly than ever, telling herself that if she did not comprehend, she could not doubt, and anyway loved the Holy Synod and prayed for it.

When the litany was over, the deacon crossed his stole over his breast and pronounced:

“Ourselves and our life we offer up to Christ the Lord!”

“Ourselves we offer up to God,” Natasha repeated in her heart. “My God, I give myself unto Thy keeping!” she thought. “I ask for nothing, I desire nothing; teach me how to act, how to do Thy will! Yes, take me; take me to Thee!” Natasha said, with devout impatience in her heart. She did not cross herself, but stood with her thin arms hanging down, as though in expectation every moment that an unseen force would come and carry her off and rescue her from herself, from her regrets and desires and remorse and hopes and sins.

Several times during the service the countess looked round at her daughter's devout face and shining eyes, and prayed to God to help her.

To the general surprise, in the middle of the service, which Natasha knew so well, the deacon brought forward the little bench, from which they repeated the prayers, kneeling, on Trinity Day, and set it before the sanctuary doors. The priest advanced in his lilac velvet calotte, threw back his hair, and, with an effort, dropped on his knees. All the congregation did the same, looking at one another in surprise. There followed the prayer, which had just been received from the Synod, the prayer for the delivery of Russia out of the hands of the enemy.

“Lord God of our might, God of our salvation,” began the priest in that clear, mild, unemphatic voice, that is only used by the Slavonic priesthood, and has such an indescribable effect on the Russian heart.

“Lord God of might, God of our salvation! Look in grace and blessing on Thy humble people, and hear with loving-kindness, and spare and have mercy on us. The foe is confounding Thy land, and is fain to rise up against all the earth and lay it waste. These lawless men are gathered together to overwhelm Thy kingdom, to destroy Thy holy Jerusalem, Thy beloved Russia: to defile Thy temples, to overturn the altars and violate our holy shrines. How long, O Lord, how long shall the wicked prevail? How long shall they wreak their sinful will?

“Almighty God! Hear us when we pray to Thee, strengthen with Thy might our most gracious and supreme sovereign, Emperor Alexander Pavlovitch. Be mindful of his truth and mercy, recompense him according to his good deeds, and let them preserve Thy chosen Israel. Bless his counsels, his undertakings, and his deeds; fortify his kingdom with Thy Almighty hand, and vouchsafe him victory over the enemy, even as Thou gavest Moses victory over Amalek, and Gideon over Midian, and David over Goliath. Preserve his army; put weapons of brass in the hands that wage war in Thy name, and gird them about with strength for the battle. Take Thou the lance and shield, and rise up to succour us, and put to shame and to confusion them that devise evil against us, and let them be scattered before the face of Thy faithful armament like dust before the wind; and may Thy mighty angel put them to flight and to confusion. And let the net ensnare them when they wot not of it, and their plots that they have hatched in secret be turned against them. And let them be laid low before the feet of Thy servants and vanquished by our hosts. Lord! it is nought for Thee to save both great and small. Thou art God, and man can do nought against Thee!

“God of our Fathers! Remember Thy mercy and loving-kindness, that are everlasting. Turn not Thy face away from us; be gracious to our unworthiness; but in the greatness of Thy mercy and the infinity of Thy goodness, overlook our transgressions and our iniquities. Purify our hearts, and renew the true spirit within us; strengthen us all by faith in Thee; fortify us with hope; breathe into us true love for one another; arm us with unity of spirit in the righteous defence of the heritage Thou hast given us and our fathers; and let not the sceptre of the unrighteous be exalted above the destinies of Thy holy people.

“O Lord our God, in Whom we believe, and in Whom we put our trust, let us not be confounded in our faith in Thy mercy, and give us a sign for our blessing that they that hate us and our holy faith may see it and be put to shame and confusion, and that all lands may know that the Lord is Thy Name, and we are Thy people. Show Thy mercy upon us this day, O Lord, and grant us Thy salvation. Rejoice the hearts of Thy servants with Thy mercy; strike down our enemies and trample them swiftly under the feet of Thy faithful. Thou art the defence, the succour, and the victory of them that put their trust in Thee; and to Thee be the glory, to Father, and to Son, and to Holy Ghost, now and ever has been, for ever and ever. Amen!”

In Natasha's religiously impressionable state, this prayer affected her strongly. She heard every word about Moses's victory over Amalek, and Gideon's over Midian, and David's over Goliath, and about the destruction of Thy Jerusalem; and she prayed to God with all the tenderness and fervour with which her heart was overflowing, but she had no distinct idea what she was asking for in this prayer. With all her soul she joined in the petition for the true spirit, for the strengthening of hearts with faith and hope, and the breathing into them of love. But she could not pray for the trampling of her enemies underfoot, when she had only a few minutes before been wishing she had more of them to forgive and pray for. But yet she could have no doubts of the righteousness of this prayer that had been read by the priest on his knees. She felt in her heart a thrill of awe and horror at the punishment in store for men's sins, and especially for her sins, and prayed to God to forgive them all, and her too, and give them all and her peace and happiness. And it seemed to her that God heard her prayer.


七月初,在莫斯科越来越多地流传着令人惊慌的关于战事的消息:谈论皇帝告民众书,议论皇帝从军队中回到莫斯科。因为直到七月十一日还未见到宣言和告民众书,所以关于宣言和告民众书以及俄罗斯局势的流言更被夸大了。据说,皇帝离开是因为军队陷于危险之中,还说,斯莫棱斯克已经失守,拿破仑有百万大军,只有出现奇迹才可拯救俄罗斯。

七月十一日,星期六,宣言出来了,但却未印刷好;在罗斯托夫家做客的皮埃尔答应第二天,星期日,来吃午饭,并把宣言和他会从拉斯托普钦伯爵那儿搞到的告民众书带来。

这个星期日,罗斯托夫一家照常去拉祖莫夫斯基家的家庭教堂做弥撒。正是七月的炎热天气。当罗斯托夫一家在教堂前从四轮轿式马车口下来时,已是十点钟了。炎热的空气中,在小贩的叫喊声中,在身着鲜艳明亮的夏装的人群中,在林荫道的树木落满尘土的叶子上,在一营前去换防的军队的军乐声中以及他们的白色的长裤上,在马路上辚辚的车轮声中,在炎热的太阳刺目的照耀下,一切都令人感到炎夏的疲倦。在城中晴朗炎热的日子里,对现状满意和不满意的感觉显得特别强烈。来拉祖莫夫斯基家庭教堂做礼拜的都是莫斯科的贵族,都是罗斯托夫家的熟人(许多富豪之家通常是去乡下过夏天的,今年却好似在等待什么,都留在城里)。娜塔莎陪伴着母亲,跟着一个穿制服的仆人穿过人群的时候,听见一个年轻人用过高的耳语声谈论她:

“这是罗斯托娃,就是……”

“瘦多了,可还那么漂亮!”她听见,或许是感觉到,人们提到库拉金和博尔孔斯基的名字。其实,她常有这种感觉。常觉得,所有的人都在盯着她。想着发生在她身上的事,在人群中,娜塔莎内心总是很痛苦,心如死灰,穿一件镶黑色花边的藕合色连衣裙,尽量像一个普通女人那样穿过人群——她越保持平静,端庄,她内心就越痛苦和羞愧。她知道,她很美,事实上也如此。可是现在这并不能像以前那样使她高兴。相反,最近这最使她痛苦,特别是在这明朗炎热的城市之夏。“又是一个礼拜天,又过了一星期。”她自言自语地说,她一边回忆她在此处度过的那个礼拜日,“一切还是那种没有生活的生活,仍是从前那种可以轻松度日的环境。漂亮,年轻;我知道,现在我是善良的;从前我不好,而现在我是善良的,我知道。”她想着,“可是,就这样不为任何人白白虚度这最美好的最美好的年华。”她站在母亲身旁,与站在附近的熟人互相点头致意。娜塔莎按习惯打量女士们的装束,指责一位站在近处的女人的tenue①和她不合礼法地把十字划得太小,可她马上悔恨地想到人们也在评论她,她也评论人家。忽然,听到祈祷的声音,她为自己的卑鄙而心惊,又为自己失去以前的纯洁而恐惧。

①法语:举止。


一位仪表端庄,衣着整洁的小老头在念祷文,他的温文尔雅的神情是那样的庄严,感动了礼拜者的心灵,都肃然起敬。教堂的门关上了,帘幕缓缓地放上,不知什么地方传来神秘的低语声,连她自己也不明白。为什么胸中充满感动的泪水,一股既喜悦又苦恼的感情令她激动。

“教导我应该怎么办,应当如何生活,如何才能永远痛改前非,悔过自新!……”她想。

助祭走上布道台,宽宽地伸出大拇指,把自己的长发从法衣下捋出来,把十字架放在胸口,便高声地朗诵祷文:

“让我们向主祷告吧。”

“让我们全体在一起,不分等级,没有仇恨,以兄弟般的爱连结在一起——向主祷告吧。”娜塔莎想。

“为了升入天堂,为了拯救我的心灵而祷告吧!”

“为天使的世界和住在我们上方的全体神明。”娜塔莎祷告说。

当为战士们祷告时,她记起了哥哥和杰尼索夫。当为海上和陆上的旅行者祷告时,她记起了安德烈公爵,为他祝福,请求上帝宽恕她做了对不起他的事。当为爱我们的人祈祷时,她为自己的家人为父亲、母亲,索尼娅而祈祷,第一次感觉到她对他们的过失是多么大。当为恨我们的人祈祷时,她边在心里想出自己的敌人和仇人也为他们祷告。她把所有债主和与父亲打交道的人都算作敌人,每次想到敌人和仇恨她的人时,她都想起带给她不幸的阿纳托利,虽然他不是仇恨她的人,她还是乐于把他当作敌人祷告。只有在祷告的时候,她才清晰而平静地想起安德烈公爵和阿纳托利,就像记起一般的人一样,因为,这与她对上帝的畏惧和崇敬的感情相比,对他们的感情也就无所谓了。当为皇室和东正教最会议祷告时,她特别深深地鞠躬,画着十字,对自己说,如果她不明白,她也不可以怀疑,仍然热爱那有至高无上权威的东正教会议,并为它而祈祷。

读完祷文,助祭在胸前的肩带上画了十字,说:

“把我们自己和我们的生命交给我主基督。”

“把我们自己交给上帝,”娜塔莎在心里重复道,“上帝啊,我完全遵从你的意旨,”她想,“我无所求,无所希望;请教导我该如何做,怎样运用自己的意志!请你千万收留我,收留我吧!”娜塔莎垂下纤细的手臂,不划十字,怀着真诚的急切心情说。仿佛等待那未知的力量马上就接走她。把她从悔恨,期待,责难,希冀和罪过中拯救出来。

祷告时,伯爵夫人几次回首看着女儿那副深受感动而眼睛发亮的面孔,她祈求上帝帮助她的女儿。

突然,在礼拜进行中,助祭没有按照娜塔莎非常熟悉的礼拜程序,拿起小板凳,那张三一节跪在上面念祷文的小板凳,放在圣体的栅栏门前。一个戴着紫色丝绒法冠的神甫走出来,理理头发,吃力地跪下来。所有人都跪下来了,莫名其妙地面面相觑。这是刚从最高会议上送来的祷文,祈求把俄罗斯从敌人的入侵下拯救出来。

“全能的上帝,我们的救世主,”神甫开始用清晰、质朴和温和的声调朗读,只有斯拉夫教士在诵读经文时才有这样的声调,它是那样的不可抗拒地震撼着俄罗斯人的心灵。

“权力至高无上的上帝,我们的救世主啊!今天请你以怜悯和祝福的心对待你卑微的下民,请宽大为怀,听取我们的祈祷,宽恕并可怜我们吧!敌人在骚扰你的土地,并企图毁灭世界,敌人在与我们作战;彼等无法无天,纠集在一起,图谋推翻你的王国,毁灭你圣洁的耶路撒冷和你爱的俄罗斯;玷污你的庙堂,倾倒你的祭坛,亵渎你的圣龛。主啊,歹徒们要横行到几时?逞凶列何时?”

“上帝啊!听听我们对你的请求,请倾听我们:请伸张你的神威,帮助我们那最笃信上帝,最有权威的仁君亚历山大·帕夫洛维奇陛下;望念其正直和文弱,赐予你理所应得,使他能保护我们,保护你所选定的以色列。为他的智慧、创举和事业祝福吧;请你用全能的手加强他的王国,支持他战胜敌人,就像你使摩西战胜亚玛力,基甸战胜米甸,大卫战胜歌利亚一样。请保佑他的军队和那些武装起来,并以你的名义全力准备战斗的人们,请赐予他们铜弓,用你的利矛和坚盾来助战吧,让那些加害于我们的人遭到诅咒与羞辱;愿他们在你忠诚的武士面前,如风中尘埃,愿你强有力的天使使他们溃散而逃,愿他们在毫无察觉中陷入圈套,愿他们因暗施诡计而自食其果;让他们跪倒在你的臣仆脚下,被我们的军队一扫而光。主啊!你能拯救强者和弱者;你是上帝,世人不能胜过你。”

“上帝,我们的父亲!记得你历来的恩惠、怜悯和仁爱,不要不理睬我们,请宽恕我们的渺小,请以你的宽大慈悲的胸怀宽恕我们的错误与罪过。请为我们创造洁净之心,复活我们正义的精神,加强我们对你的信仰,坚定我们的希望,激励我们真诚相爱,以团结的精神武装我们,以保卫你赐予我们世代相传的家园,不要让恶人支配你所赐福的人们的命运。”

“啊,上帝,我们的主,我们信仰你,依使你,不要让我们仰仗于你赐予怜悯的希望破灭,请赐予奇迹,让那些憎恨我们,憎恨东正教信仰的人,蒙受耻辱和失败,使万邦皆知,你是我们的主,我们是你的臣民。主啊,请今日就赐予我们你的仁慈,让我们得救,让你的臣民因你赐予的仁慈而欢欣雀跃,打击我们的敌人,让他们在你忠实的臣仆的脚下迅速毁灭吧。你是一切信仰你的人的保护神、救世主和胜利之源,一切光荣属于你,归于圣父,圣子,圣灵,无尽无休,直到永恒。阿门。”

此时,娜塔莎的内心最易于动情,这个祷告强烈地影响了她。她一字不漏地听了摩西战胜亚玛力,基甸战胜米甸,大卫战胜歌利亚以及你的耶路撒冷被破坏这一段祷文,怀着满腔柔情和慈悲祈求上帝;可是,她并不十分了解自己向上帝祈求什么。她全身心地参与了对正义精神的祈求,祈求以信仰和希望来稳定人心,并祈求用仁爱来鼓励它们。但是她不能祈求将自己的敌人踩在脚下,反正在这之前的几分钟,她还希望有更多的敌人,以便去爱他们,为他们祈祷。可是她也不能怀疑那跪着诵读的祷文的正确性。她对罪人所受到的惩罚,特别是对自己的罪过的惩罚,内心深切地感到虔诚和悚畏,祈求上帝原谅所有的罪人,也原谅她,赐给他们和她自己平安和幸福的生活。她觉得上帝听见了她的祷告。



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