THAT was all fixed. So then we went away and went to the rubbage-pile in the back yard, where they keep the old boots, and rags, and pieces of bottles, and wore-out tin things, and all such truck, and scratched around and found an old tin washpan, and stopped up the holes as well as we could, to bake the pie in, and took it down cellar and stole it full of flour and started for breakfast, and found a couple of shingle-nails that Tom said would be handy for a prisoner to scrabble his name and sorrows on the dungeon walls with, and dropped one of them in Aunt Sally's apron-pocket which was hanging on a chair, and t'other we stuck in the band of Uncle Silas's hat, which was on the bureau, because we heard the children say their pa and ma was going to the runaway nigger's house this morning, and then went to breakfast, and Tom dropped the pewter spoon in Uncle Silas's coat-pocket, and Aunt Sally wasn't come yet, so we had to wait a little while.

And when she come she was hot and red and cross, and couldn't hardly wait for the blessing; and then she went to sluicing out coffee with one hand and cracking the handiest child's head with her thimble with the other, and says:

"I've hunted high and I've hunted low, and it does beat all what HAS become of your other shirt."

My heart fell down amongst my lungs and livers and things, and a hard piece of corn-crust started down my throat after it and got met on the road with a cough, and was shot across the table, and took one of the children in the eye and curled him up like a fishing-worm, and let a cry out of him the size of a warwhoop, and Tom he turned kinder blue around the gills, and it all amounted to a considerable state of things for about a quarter of a minute or as much as that, and I would a sold out for half price if there was a bidder. But after that we was all right again -- it was the sudden surprise of it that knocked us so kind of cold. Uncle Silas he says:

"It's most uncommon curious, I can't understand it. I know perfectly well I took it OFF, because --"

"Because you hain't got but one ON. Just LISTEN at the man! I know you took it off, and know it by a better way than your wool-gethering memory, too, because it was on the clo's-line yesterday -- I see it there myself. But it's gone, that's the long and the short of it, and you'll just have to change to a red flann'l one till I can get time to make a new one. And it 'll be the third I've made in two years. It just keeps a body on the jump to keep you in shirts; and whatever you do manage to DO with 'm all is more'n I can make out. A body 'd think you WOULD learn to take some sort of care of 'em at your time of life."

"I know it, Sally, and I do try all I can. But it oughtn't to be altogether my fault, because, you know, I don't see them nor have nothing to do with them except when they're on me; and I don't believe I've ever lost one of them OFF of me."

"Well, it ain't YOUR fault if you haven't, Silas; you'd a done it if you could, I reckon. And the shirt ain't all that's gone, nuther. Ther's a spoon gone; and THAT ain't all. There was ten, and now ther's only nine. The calf got the shirt, I reckon, but the calf never took the spoon, THAT'S certain."

"Why, what else is gone, Sally?"

"Ther's six CANDLES gone -- that's what. The rats could a got the candles, and I reckon they did; I wonder they don't walk off with the whole place, the way you're always going to stop their holes and don't do it; and if they warn't fools they'd sleep in your hair, Silas -- YOU'D never find it out; but you can't lay the SPOON on the rats, and that I know."

"Well, Sally, I'm in fault, and I acknowledge it; I've been remiss; but I won't let to-morrow go by without stopping up them holes."

"Oh, I wouldn't hurry; next year 'll do. Matilda Angelina Araminta PHELPS!"

Whack comes the thimble, and the child snatches her claws out of the sugar-bowl without fooling around any. Just then the nigger woman steps on to the passage, and says:

"Missus, dey's a sheet gone."

"A SHEET gone! Well, for the land's sake!"

"I'll stop up them holes to-day," says Uncle Silas, looking sorrowful.

"Oh, DO shet up! -- s'pose the rats took the SHEET? WHERE'S it gone, Lize?"

"Clah to goodness I hain't no notion, Miss' Sally. She wuz on de clo'sline yistiddy, but she done gone: she ain' dah no mo' now."

"I reckon the world IS coming to an end. I NEVER see the beat of it in all my born days. A shirt, and a sheet, and a spoon, and six can --"

"Missus," comes a young yaller wench, "dey's a brass cannelstick miss'n."

"Cler out from here, you hussy, er I'll take a skillet to ye!"

Well, she was just a-biling. I begun to lay for a chance; I reckoned I would sneak out and go for the woods till the weather moderated. She kept a-raging right along, running her insurrection all by herself, and everybody else mighty meek and quiet; and at last Uncle Silas, looking kind of foolish, fishes up that spoon out of his pocket. She stopped, with her mouth open and her hands up; and as for me, I wished I was in Jeruslem or somewheres. But not long, because she says:

"It's JUST as I expected. So you had it in your pocket all the time; and like as not you've got the other things there, too. How'd it get there?"

"I reely don't know, Sally," he says, kind of apologizing, "or you know I would tell. I was astudying over my text in Acts Seventeen before breakfast, and I reckon I put it in there, not noticing, meaning to put my Testament in, and it must be so, because my Testament ain't in; but I'll go and see; and if the Testament is where I had it, I'll know I didn't put it in, and that will show that I laid the Testament down and took up the spoon, and --"

"Oh, for the land's sake! Give a body a rest! Go 'long now, the whole kit and biling of ye; and don't come nigh me again till I've got back my peace of mind."

I'D a heard her if she'd a said it to herself, let alone speaking it out; and I'd a got up and obeyed her if I'd a been dead. As we was passing through the setting-room the old man he took up his hat, and the shingle-nail fell out on the floor, and he just merely picked it up and laid it on the mantel-shelf, and never said nothing, and went out. Tom see him do it, and remembered about the spoon, and says:

"Well, it ain't no use to send things by HIM no more, he ain't reliable." Then he says: "But he done us a good turn with the spoon, anyway, without knowing it, and so we'll go and do him one without HIM knowing it -- stop up his rat-holes."

There was a noble good lot of them down cellar, and it took us a whole hour, but we done the job tight and good and shipshape. Then we heard steps on the stairs, and blowed out our light and hid; and here comes the old man, with a candle in one hand and a bundle of stuff in t'other, looking as absent-minded as year before last. He went a mooning around, first to one rat-hole and then another, till he'd been to them all. Then he stood about five minutes, picking tallowdrip off of his candle and thinking. Then he turns off slow and dreamy towards the stairs, saying:

"Well, for the life of me I can't remember when I done it. I could show her now that I warn't to blame on account of the rats. But never mind -- let it go. I reckon it wouldn't do no good."

And so he went on a-mumbling up stairs, and then we left. He was a mighty nice old man. And always is.

Tom was a good deal bothered about what to do for a spoon, but he said we'd got to have it; so he took a think. When he had ciphered it out he told me how we was to do; then we went and waited around the spoon-basket till we see Aunt Sally coming, and then Tom went to counting the spoons and laying them out to one side, and I slid one of them up my sleeve, and Tom says:

"Why, Aunt Sally, there ain't but nine spoons YET."

She says:

"Go 'long to your play, and don't bother me. I know better, I counted 'm myself."

"Well, I've counted them twice, Aunty, and I can't make but nine."

She looked out of all patience, but of course she come to count -- anybody would.

"I declare to gracious ther' AIN'T but nine!" she says. "Why, what in the world -- plague TAKE the things, I'll count 'm again."

So I slipped back the one I had, and when she got done counting, she says:

"Hang the troublesome rubbage, ther's TEN now!" and she looked huffy and bothered both. But Tom says:

"Why, Aunty, I don't think there's ten."

"You numskull, didn't you see me COUNT 'm?"

"I know, but --"

"Well, I'll count 'm AGAIN."

So I smouched one, and they come out nine, same as the other time. Well, she WAS in a tearing way -- just a-trembling all over, she was so mad. But she counted and counted till she got that addled she'd start to count in the basket for a spoon sometimes; and so, three times they come out right, and three times they come out wrong. Then she grabbed up the basket and slammed it across the house and knocked the cat galley-west; and she said cle'r out and let her have some peace, and if we come bothering around her again betwixt that and dinner she'd skin us. So we had the odd spoon, and dropped it in her apron-pocket whilst she was a-giving us our sailing orders, and Jim got it all right, along with her shingle nail, before noon. We was very well satisfied with this business, and Tom allowed it was worth twice the trouble it took, because he said NOW she couldn't ever count them spoons twice alike again to save her life; and wouldn't believe she'd counted them right if she DID; and said that after she'd about counted her head off for the next three days he judged she'd give it up and offer to kill anybody that wanted her to ever count them any more.

So we put the sheet back on the line that night, and stole one out of her closet; and kept on putting it back and stealing it again for a couple of days till she didn't know how many sheets she had any more, and she didn't CARE, and warn't a-going to bullyrag the rest of her soul out about it, and wouldn't count them again not to save her life; she druther die first.

So we was all right now, as to the shirt and the sheet and the spoon and the candles, by the help of the calf and the rats and the mixed-up counting; and as to the candlestick, it warn't no consequence, it would blow over by and by.

But that pie was a job; we had no end of trouble with that pie. We fixed it up away down in the woods, and cooked it there; and we got it done at last, and very satisfactory, too; but not all in one day; and we had to use up three wash-pans full of flour before we got through, and we got burnt pretty much all over, in places, and eyes put out with the smoke; because, you see, we didn't want nothing but a crust, and we couldn't prop it up right, and she would always cave in. But of course we thought of the right way at last -- which was to cook the ladder, too, in the pie. So then we laid in with Jim the second night, and tore up the sheet all in little strings and twisted them together, and long before daylight we had a lovely rope that you could a hung a person with. We let on it took nine months to make it.

And in the forenoon we took it down to the woods, but it wouldn't go into the pie. Being made of a whole sheet, that way, there was rope enough for forty pies if we'd a wanted them, and plenty left over for soup, or sausage, or anything you choose. We could a had a whole dinner.

But we didn't need it. All we needed was just enough for the pie, and so we throwed the rest away. We didn't cook none of the pies in the wash-pan -- afraid the solder would melt; but Uncle Silas he had a noble brass warming-pan which he thought considerable of, because it belonged to one of his ancesters with a long wooden handle that come over from England with William the Conqueror in the Mayflower or one of them early ships and was hid away up garret with a lot of other old pots and things that was valuable, not on account of being any account, because they warn't, but on account of them being relicts, you know, and we snaked her out, private, and took her down there, but she failed on the first pies, because we didn't know how, but she come up smiling on the last one. We took and lined her with dough, and set her in the coals, and loaded her up with rag rope, and put on a dough roof, and shut down the lid, and put hot embers on top, and stood off five foot, with the long handle, cool and comfortable, and in fifteen minutes she turned out a pie that was a satisfaction to look at. But the person that et it would want to fetch a couple of kags of toothpicks along, for if that rope ladder wouldn't cramp him down to business I don't know nothing what I'm talking about, and lay him in enough stomach-ache to last him till next time, too.

Nat didn't look when we put the witch pie in Jim's pan; and we put the three tin plates in the bottom of the pan under the vittles; and so Jim got everything all right, and as soon as he was by himself he busted into the pie and hid the rope ladder inside of his straw tick, and scratched some marks on a tin plate and throwed it out of the window-hole.

　　这事全安排妥了。于是，我们往后院的废料堆走去，他们在那里搁着有旧靴子、破衣服、碎瓶子、烂铁器等等。我们在那里乱翻一阵，找到个旧洗脸盆，我们想尽方法把窟窿堵上，要用它烙那张饼。我们拿进地窖里，偷装了满满一盆面，前去吃早饭。又发现了两颗钉木瓦的钉子，汤姆说囚犯拿它在地牢墙上划名字记伤心事儿很方便，就丢了一颗在莎丽姨的围裙口袋里，她的围裙在椅子上挂着，另外一颗我们插到了赛拉斯姨父的帽子箍带上，帽子正搁在梳妆台上，因为我们听那些小孩儿说他们爸妈今天下午要前往那个逃跑黑人的小屋，接着我们才去吃早饭。汤姆把锡匙丢入赛拉斯姨父的上衣口袋里，莎丽姨还没来，我们只得等上一会儿。

　　她进来时，怒气冲冲，脸涨得通红，就连祷告都不耐烦听完，随后，她拿一只手哗地一下把咖啡倒出来，另一只戴着顶针的手敲着她身边孩子的头，她说："我东也找西也找，四处全找遍了，你那件衬衣究竟哪儿去了呀。"我的心一下沉进肝和肺里去了，一块硬玉米壳随着心沉往喉咙里掉，我一声咳嗽，玉米壳窜出来弹到了桌子对面，正好打中一个孩子的眼睛，他当下弯下腰去，弯得就像个钓鱼钩上的蚯蚓，接着便是一声惨叫，像在战场上冲锋陷阵似的。汤姆面色发青，丧气垂头，事情在几秒钟之内显得十分严重。这时，若有人稍稍哄下，我就很容易把真情和盘托出。可是，过了一阵，我们又都安定了下来，全因为这突如其来的一惊，才吓得我们浑身发冷。赛拉斯姨父说："这件事怪得离奇，我想不明白，我记得很清楚我把它脱下来了，因为..""因为你身上就穿了一件嘛。听听这个人说的话！我知道你脱下来了，比你那糊涂脑袋知道得还明白，因为昨天它还在绳上晾着，我亲眼看到它在上头。可是现在没了，说来说去就是这回事儿。你只得先换上那件红法兰绒的，等我有空儿再替你做件新的。这可是两年里头我做的第三件，光给你做衬衣就把人忙坏了，你究竟是怎么想着法儿糟蹋衣服的，我连想也想不出来。活到你这把年纪，也该学着操点儿心了。""我知道，莎丽，我的确是操心了。可这事儿不该全怪我，因为你知道除了穿到我身上的时候，我没看见过它，也跟它不相干，我相信我不穿的时候也没弄丢过一件呀。""是啊，如果你没弄丢过就不是你的错儿。赛拉斯，我看，你如果能丢你就把它丢了。丢的东西又不止是那件衬衣，一把匙子也丢了，那还不算，原先有十把，现在就剩下九把。我猜是小牛犊衔走了那件衬衣，可牛犊从来不要匙子，这点是肯定的。""啊，别的还丢什么啦，莎丽？""六根蜡烛丢了--就这。老鼠或许会偷蜡烛，我看它们会，我奇怪它们怎么没把这一座房子都给搬走，你总是说要堵上老鼠洞，可总看不见你动手，要是老鼠再聪明一些，它们都敢到你头发里睡大觉，赛拉斯，可你还觉察不到，可是你不能把丢匙子的事儿赖在老鼠身上，这我清楚。""啊，莎丽，这是我的错儿，我承认，我是疏忽大意了，可是不用等到明天，我就会把老鼠洞给堵上。""哈，我不着急，明年堵上也可以。玛提尔达·安吉琳纳·阿兰明达·斐尔普斯！"顶针上去使劲一敲，那个孩子赶忙把她的小爪子从糖碗里缩回去，一点儿也不敢耽误。

　　这时，那个黑女人上了走廊，说："太太，一条床单丢了。""床单丢了！哎呀，上帝呀！""今天我就把洞堵上！" 赛拉斯姨父说道，样子十分后悔。"啊，闭上你的嘴！你想想老鼠会来偷床单？丢到哪儿去了，丽西？""对天发誓我不知道，莎丽太太。昨天还搭到晒衣服绳上，可它丢了，如今再也找不着了。""我看是世界的末日来临了。打我出生起，还没碰上这种事儿呢。一件衬衣，一条床单，一把匙子，6 根蜡..""太太"，又跑过来一个黄脸的年轻女佣，" 有一只蜡烛台丢了。""打这儿滚出去，你这贱人，否则我就拿锅揍你！"哎呀，她快要气疯了。我等着找机会，我看我得溜出去到树林里等这阴天好转了再回来。她使劲儿大发脾气，自己一个人闹得天昏地暗，其他的人都逆来顺受，一声不吭。最后，赛拉斯姨父一脸傻呆呆的样子，从他口袋里掏出来那把匙子。她住口了，嘴巴张大，手向上举着。要是我呀，我可情愿跑到耶路撒冷或别的远地方呆着去。可这没过多大会儿，因为她说道："跟我原先想的一模一样。也就是讲，你始终把它藏到你口袋里，说不定你把别的东西也藏到那儿去了。怎么弄你口袋里去啦？""我真不知道，莎丽。" 他略带歉意说，" 否则，你知道我一定会告诉你的。早饭前我在学习《圣经》'使徒行传'第十七章，或许是我不注意放进去的，心里还想着是放《圣经》呢，肯定是这么回事儿，因为我的《圣经》不在口袋里，不过我还得去看看《圣经》是不是搁在老地方，这样我就可以知道我没把它放口袋里，那就会说明我是搁下了《圣经》拿起了匙子，又..""哎呀，看在上帝的份上！让人歇歇吧！走开，你们这群人统统出去，别来靠近我，让我心里静静再说吧。"就算是她悄悄儿自言自语，我也能听见她的话，别说是大声嚷出来的了。我就是死了，也会立刻站起来，听她的话出去。当我们路过客厅的时候，那老头儿捏起了他的帽子，那个长钉掉到了地上，他只是又给捡起来，放到了壁炉架上，没吱声就出门了。汤姆看到他这么做，又想起了匙子，他说："完了，想让他带东西是不行了，他靠不住。" 然后他又说：" 不过那把匙子的事儿，他不知不觉总算帮了我们大忙，因此，我们这就去帮他个忙，也不让他知道--去堵上他的老鼠洞。"老鼠洞可真多得不得了，在地窖里我们堵了整整将近一个小时，不过我们堵得结实牢靠，干得有条有理。后来，我们听见楼梯上有脚步声，我们就吹灭灯藏了起来，是那老人来了，一手举着根蜡烛，一手拿了一捆东西，那副心不在焉的神态，恐怕前年就是这个样。他呆头呆脑地转了一圈儿，一个老鼠洞一个老鼠洞地看，直到看完。然后他站了大约有五分钟，一边把流出来的蜡泪掰掉，一边寻思。后来他慢慢转身朝楼梯走去，像做梦一样说："唉，要了我的命我也记不清我何时把它堵上了。现在我可以让她知道老鼠的事儿不该怪我。不过也用不着在意--还是算了吧。我看跟她讲了也不会有啥好处。"就这么他嘟嘟嚷嚷上楼去了，接着我们也离开。他可真是个很好的老人。他总是特别好。

　　汤姆为了找一把匙子伤透了脑筋，但他说我们还是得搞到手，所以他又想了想。他想好之后告诉了我，我们该怎么做。然后我们就跑进装匙子的筐那里等着，看见莎丽姨来了，汤姆就动手数匙子，把它们拿出来摆到一边，我偷偷拿了一把藏进袖子里，汤姆说："嗨，莎丽姨，还是只有九把匙子呀。"她说："玩去吧，别烦我。我比你清楚，我自己数过。""我可数了两遍了，姨，数来数去还是九把。"她耐心全无，可还是过来数了--谁也会这么做。

　　"我的天哪，可不就是只有九把！" 她叫道，" 奇怪，这究竟是怎么回事儿，真该死，我得再数一遍。"于是，我把我拿走的那把又悄悄放回去，她再数完时，说："这东西真讨厌，这一回又十把啦！" 她显得很生气也很心烦。可汤姆说："哎，姨！我可不相信有十把。""你这笨蛋，你没看到我数吗？""我知道，可..""那好，我再来数数。"于是，我又偷走一把，结果又变成了九把。哈，她被气坏了--浑身发抖，疯了一般。可她数了又数，数得头晕脑胀，有时把那个装匙子的筐也给数进去，这样，三回数对了，三回又错了。后来，她拿起筐朝屋对面使劲砸去，把那只猫砸得惨叫，她叫我们滚出去，让她一个人清静会儿，如果从现在到中午这段时间我们再上这儿胡闹，她就扒了我们的皮。于是，我们弄到了那把多出来的匙子，趁她赶我们走时，将匙子丢进她围裙的口袋里，临近中午时分，吉姆已把它连同那颗钉都稳稳地拿到手了。我们对这件事很满意，汤姆认为比这再麻烦一倍也值，因为他说这样一来，即使要了她的命，她再数匙子，也不会两次数成一样的数了，就算她真数对了，她也不会相信！还说她如果再数上三天，数得她脑袋快掉的时候，她肯定会放弃干脆不数了，谁要是敢再让她数匙子，她非杀人不可。于是，那天夜里，我们把床单又放回到绳子上，打她衣柜里偷出来一条；又不断地放进去，偷出来，折腾了好几天，等她再也搞不明白她有几条床单了，她就说她不管了，她不想让床单惹得七窍生烟，即便不为了救命，她也不会再数了，她宁愿先死掉。

　　这样，问题便都解决了。衬衣、床单、匙子和蜡烛，幸亏小牛犊、老鼠和颠三倒四地数数儿，至于那支蜡台，也不怎么有关系，事情总会慢慢儿过去。

　　不过那饼可是件麻烦事儿，我们费了数不清的劲儿。我们跑到很远的树林里，在那里烙饼，最后终于将它烙好了，我们也很满意。不过，那可不是一天干的，我们不得不用了满满三盆面粉才把它做好，我们浑身上下很多地方全让火烧伤了，眼睛也快给烟熏瞎了。我们没用那个脸盆烙饼，怕把焊口烧化了。倒是赛拉斯姨父有个很讲究的铜取暖盆，他把它作为宝贝看，因为那是他一个祖先传下来的，带个木头长把儿。它跟许多贵重古老的锅罐壶盆一起被藏在阁楼上，并不是仅仅因为这些东西怎样了不起，因为它们本身并不怎么样，仅仅是因为它们是古董，你知道吧，我们悄悄地把它偷出来，拿进树林里，可是第一批饼烙坏了，因为我们不知道怎么烙，不过最终还是做成了。可吃这张大饼的人就得带上两桶牙签，因为绳梯不会把他咯住死，就算是我胡说八道，并且还得让他肚子一直疼下去。我们往吉姆锅里放妖魔饼时，纳特没看，我们还在食物下边，锅底上放了三个铁盘子。这样，吉姆顺顺当当地就把东西都弄到手了，等到屋里只剩下他一个人时，他立刻撕开饼把绳梯藏进他的草垫当中，又在一个铁盘子划上几个记号，从窗口扔了出来。

 

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