As spring came on, a new set of amusements became the fashion, and the lengthening days gave long afternoons for work and play of all sorts. The garden had to be put in order, and each sister had a quarter of the little plot to do what she liked with. Hannah used to say, `I'd know which each of them gardings belonged to, ef I see 'em in Chiny'; and so she might, for the girls' tastes differed as much as their characters. Meg's had roses and heliotrope, myrtle, and a little orange tree in it. Jo's bed was never alike two seasons, for she was always trying experiments; this year it was to be a plantation of sunflowers, the seeds of which cheerful and aspiring plant were to feed `Aunt Cockle-top' and her family of chicks. Beth had old-fashioned, fragrant flowers in her garden - sweet peas and mignonette, larkspur, pinks, pansies, and southernwood, with chickweed for the bird, and catnip for the pussies. Amy had a bower in hers - rather small and earwiggy, but very pretty to look at - with honeysuckles and morning-glories hanging their coloured horns and bells in graceful wreaths all over it; tall white lilies, delicate ferns, and as many brilliant, picturesque plants as would consent to blossom there.
Gardening, walks, rows on the river, and flower-hunts employed the fine days; and for rainy ones they had house diversions, some old, some new - all more or less original. One of these was the `P.C.'; for, as secret societies were the fashion, it was thought proper to have one; and, as all of the girls admired Dickens, they called themselves the Pickwick Club. With a few interruptions, they had kept this up for a year, and met every Saturday evening in the big garret, on which occasions the ceremonies were as follows: Three chairs were arranged in a row before a table, on which was a lamp, also four white badges, with a big "P.C." in different colours on each, and the weekly newspaper, called The Pickwick Portfolio, to which all contributed something; while Jo, who revelled in pens and ink, was the editor. At seven o'clock the four members ascended to the club room, tied their badges round their heads, and took their seats with great solemnity. Meg, as the eldest, was Samuel Pickwick; Jo, being of a literary turn, Augustus Snodgrass; Beth, because she was round and rosy, Tracy Tupman; and Amy, who was always trying to do what she couldn't, was Nathaniel Winkle. Pickwick, the president, read the paper, which was filled with original tales, poetry, local news, funny advertisements, and hints, in which they good-naturedly reminded each other of their faults and shortcomings. On one occasion Mr. Pickwick put on a pair of spectacles without any glasses, rapped upon the table, hemmed, and, having stared hard at Mr. Snodgrass, who was tilting back in his chair till he arranged himself properly, began to read:
THE PICKWICK PORTFOLIO
MAY 20, 18——
Poet's Corner.
ANNIVERSARY ODE.
Again we meet to celebrate, With badge and solemn rite, Our fifty-second anniversary,
In Pickwick Hall, to-night. We all are here in perfect health, None gone from our small band; Again we see each well-known face, And press each friendly hand.
Our Pickwick, always at his post, With reverence we greet, As, spectacles on nose, he reads Our well-filled weekly sheet.
Although he suffers from a cold, We joy to hear him speak, For words of wisdom from him fall, In spite of croak or squeak.
Old six-foot Snodgrass looms on high With elephantine grace, And beams upon the company With brown and jovial face.
Poetic fire lights up his eye, He struggles 'gainst his lot Behold ambition on his brow, And on his nose a blot!
Next our peaceful Tupman comes, So rosy, plump, and sweet, Who chokes with laughter at the puns, And tumbles off his seat.
Prim little Winkle too is here, With every hair in place, A model of propriety, Though he hates to wash his face.
The year is gone, we still unite To joke and laugh and read, And tread the path of literature That doth to glory lead.
Long may our paper prosper well, Our club unbroken be, And coming years their blessings pour On the useful gay "P.C."
A. SNODGRASS
THE MASKED MARRIAGE.
A TALE OF VENICE
Gondola after gondola swept up to the marble steps, and left its lovely load to swell the brilliant throng that filled the stately halls of Count de Adelon. Knights and ladies, elves and pages, monks and flower-girls, all mingled gaily in the dance. Sweet voices and rich melody filled the air; and so with mirth and music the masquerade went on.
`Has your Highness seen the Lady Viola tonight?' asked a gallant troubadour of the fairy queen who floated down the hall upon his arm.
`Yes; is she not lovely, though so sad? Her dress is well chosen, too, for in a week she weds Count Antonio, whom she passionately hates.'
`By my faith, I envy him. Yonder he comes arrayed like a bridegroom, except the black mask. When that is off we shall see how he regards the fair maid whose heart he cannot win, though her stern father bestows her hand,' returned the troubadour.
`'Tis whispered that she loves the young English artist who haunts her steps, and is spurned by the old count,' said the lady, as they joined the dance.
The revel was at its height when a priest appeared, and, withdrawing the young pair to an alcove hung with purple velvet, he motioned them to kneel. Instant silence fell upon the gay throng; and not a sound, but the dash of fountains or the rustle of orange-groves sleeping in the moonlight, broke the hush, as Count de Adelon spoke thus——
`My lords and ladies, pardon the ruse by which I have gathered you here to witness the marriage of my daughter. Father we wait your services.'
All eyes turned toward the bridal party, and a low murmur of amazement went through the throng, for neither bride nor groom removed their masks. Curiosity and wonder possessed all hearts, but respect restrained all tongues till the holy rite was over. Then the eager spectators gathered round the count, demanding an explanation.
`Gladly would I give it if I could; but I only know that it was the whim of my timid Viola, and I yielded to it. Now, my children, let the play end. Unmask, and receive my blessing.'
But neither bent the knee; for the young bridegroom replied, in a tone that startled all listeners, as the mask fell, disclosing the noble face of Ferdinand Devereux, the artist lover; and, leaning on the breast where now flashed the star of an English earl, was the lovely Viola, radiant with joy and beauty.
`My lord, you scornfully bade me claim your daughter when I could boast as high a name and vast a fortune as the Count Antonio. I can do more; for even your ambitious soul cannot refuse the Earl of Devereux and De Vere, when he gives his ancient name and boundless wealth in return for the beloved hand of this fair lady now my wife.'
The count stood like one changed to stone; and, turning to the bewildered crowd, Ferdinand added, with a gay smile of triumph,
"To you, my gallant friends, I can only wish that your wooing may prosper as mine has done; and that you may all win as fair a bride as I have by this masked marriage."
S. PICKWICK.
Why is the P.C. like the Tower of Babel? It is full of unruly members.
THE HISTORY OF A SQUASH.
Once upon a time a farmer planted a little seed in his garden, and after a while it sprouted and became a vine, and bore many squashes. One day in October, when they were ripe, he picked one and took it to market. A grocerman bought and put it in his shop. That same morning, a little girl, in a brown hat and blue dress, with a round face and a snub nose, went and bought it for her mother. She lugged it home, cut it up, and boiled it in the big pot; mashed some of it, with salt and butter, for dinner; and to the rest she added a pint of milk, two eggs, four spoons of sugar, nutmeg, and some crackers; put it in a deep dish, and baked it till it was brown and nice; and next day it was eaten by a family named March.
T. TUPMAN.
MR PICKWICK, Sir:——
I address you upon the subject of sin the sinner I mean is a man named Winkle who makes trouble in his club by laughing and sometimes won't write his piece in this fine paper I hope you will pardon his badness and let him send a French fable because he can't write out of his head as he has so many lessons to do and no brains in future I will try to take time by the fetlock and prepare some work which will be all commy la fo that means all right I am in haste as it is nearly school time. Yours respectably, N. WINKLE.
[The above is a manly and handsome acknowledgement of past misdemeanours. If our young friend studied punctuation, it would be well.]
A SAD ACCIDENT
On Friday last we were startled by a violent shock in our basement, followed by cries of distress. On rushing, in a body, to the cellar, we discovered our beloved President prostrate on the floor, having tripped and fallen while getting wood for domestic purposes. A perfect scene of ruin met our eyes; for in his fall Mr Pickwick had plunged his head and shoulders into a tub of water, upset a keg of soft soap upon his manly form, and torn his garments badly. On being removed from his perilous situation, it was discovered that he had suffered no injury but several bruises; and, we are happy to add, is now doing well. ED.
The Public Bereavement.
It is our painful duty to record the sudden and mysterious disappearance of our cherished friend, Mrs Snowball Pat Paw. This lovely and beloved cat was the pet of a large circle of warm and admiring friends; for her beauty attracted all eyes, her grace and virtues endeared her to all hearts, and her loss is deeply felt by the whole community.
When last seen, she was sitting at the gate, watching the butcher's cart; and it is feared that some villain, tempted by her charms, basely stole her. Weeks have passed but no trace of her has been discovered; and we relinquish all hope, tie a black ribbon to her basket, set aside her dish, and weep for her as one lost to us for ever.
A sympathising friend sends the following gem:——
A LAMENT. FOR S. B. PAT PAW.
We mourn the loss of our little pet, And sigh o'er her hapless fate, For never more by the fire she'll sit, Nor play by the old green gate.
The little grave where her infant sleeps Is 'neath the chestnut tree; But o'er her grave we may not weep, We know not where it may be.
Her empty bed, her idle ball, Will never see her more; No gentle tap, no loving purr Is heard at the parlour door.
Another cat comes after her mice, A cat with a dirty face; But she does not hunt as our darling did, Nor play with her airy grace.
Her stealthy paws tread the very hall Where Snowball used to play, But she only spits at the dogs our pet So gallantly drove away.
She is useful and mild, and does her best, But she is not fair to see; And we cannot give her your place, dear, Nor worship her as we worship thee.
A. S.
ADVERTISEMENTS.
Miss Oranthy Bluggage, the accomplished Strong-Minded Lecturer, will deliver her famous Lecture on "WOMAN AND HER POSITION", at Pickwick Hall, next Saturday Evening, after the usual performances.
A weekly meeting will be held at Kitchen Place, to teach young ladies how to cook. Hannah Brown will preside; and all are invited to attend.
The dustpan society will meet on Wednesday next, and parade in the upper story of the Club House. All members to appear in uniform and shoulder their brooms at nine precisely.
Mrs Beth Bouncer Will open her new assortment of Doll's Millinery next week. The latest Paris Fashions have arrived, and orders are respectfully solicited.
A new play will appear at the Barnville Theatre, in the course of a few weeksh will surpass anything ever seen on the American stage. "The Greek Slave, or Constantine the Avenger", is the name of this thrilling drama!
HINTS.
If S. P. didn't use so much soap on his hands, he wouldn't always be late at breakfast. A. S. is requested not to whistle in the street. T. T. please don't forget Amy's napkin. A. W. must not fret because his dress has not nine tucks.
WEEKLY REPORT.
Meg - Good.
Jo - Bad.
Beth - Very good.
Amy - Middling.
As the President finished reading the paper (which I beg leave to assure my readers is a bona fide copy of one written by bona fide girls once upon a time), a round of applause followed and then Mr. Snodgrass rose to make a proposition.
`Mr. President and gentlemen,' he began, assuming a parliamentary attitude and tone, `I wish to propose the admission of a new member - one who highly deserves the honour, would be deeply grateful for it, and would add immensely to the spirit of the club, the literary value of the paper, and be no end jolly and nice. I propose Mr. Theodore Laurence as an honorary member of the P.C. Come now, do have him.'
Jo's sudden change of tone made the girls laugh; but all looked rather anxious, and no one said a word, as Snodgrass took his seat.
`We'll put it to the vote,' said the President. `All in favour of this motion please to manifest it by saying "Ay".'
A loud response from Snodgrass, followed, to everybody's surprise, by a timid one from Beth.
`Contrary minded say "No".'
Meg and Amy were contrary minded; and Mr. Winkle rose to say, with great eloquence. `We don't wish any boys; they only joke and bounce about. This is a ladies' club, and we wish to be private and proper.'
`I'm afraid he'll laugh at our paper, and make fun of us afterwards,' observed Pickwick, pulling the little curl on her forehead, as she always did when doubtful.
Up rose Snodgrass, very much in earnest. `Sir, I give you my word as a gentleman, Laurie won't do anything of the sort. He likes to write, and he'll give a tone to our contributions, and keep us from being sentimental, don't you see? We can do so little for him, and he does so much for us, I think the least we can do is to offer him a place here, and make him welcome if he comes.'
This artful allusion to benefits conferred brought Tupman to his feet, looking as if he had quite made up his mind.
`Yes, we ought to do it, even if we are afraid. I say he may come, and his grandpa too, if he likes.'
This spirited outburst from Beth electrified the club, and Jo left her seat to shake hands approvingly. `Now then, vote again. Everybody remember it's our Laurie, and say "Ay!"' cried Snodgrass, excitedly.
`Ay! ay! ay!' replied three voices at once.
`Good! Bless you! Now, as there's nothing like "taking time by the fetlock", as Winkle characteristically observes, allow me to present the new member'; and, to the dismay of the rest of the club, Jo threw open the door of the closet, and displayed Laurie sitting on a rag-bag, flushed and twinkling with suppressed laughter.
`You rogue! you traitor! Jo, how could you?' cried the three girls, as Snodgrass led her friend triumphantly forth; and, producing both a chair and a badge, installed him in a jiffy.
`The coolness of you two rascals is amazing,' began Mr. Pickwick, trying to get up an awful frown, and only succeeding in producing an amiable smile. But the new member was equal to the occasion; and, rising, with a graceful salutation to the Chair, said, in the most engaging manner, `Mr. President and ladies - I beg pardon, gentlemen - allow me to introduce myself as Sam Weller, the very humble servant of the club.'
`Good! good!' cried Jo, pounding with the handle of the old warming-pan, on which she leaned.
`My faithful friend and noble patron,' continued Laurie, with a wave of the hand, `who has so flatteringly presented me, is not to be blamed for the base stratagem of tonight. I planned it, and she only gave in after lots of teasing.'
`Come now, don't lay it all on yourself; you know I proposed the cupboard,' broke in Snodgrass, who was enjoying the joke amazingly.
`Never you mind what she says. I'm the wretch that did it, sir,' said the new member, with a Welleresque nod to Mr. Pickwick. `But on my honour I never will do so again, and henceforth devote myself to the interest of this immortal club.'
`Hear! hear!' cried Jo, clashing the lid of the warming-pan like a cymbal.
`Go on, go on!' added Winkle and Tupman, while the President bowed benignly.
`I merely wish to say, that as a slight token of my gratitude for the honour done me, and as a means of promoting friendly relations between adjoining nations, I have set up a post-office in the hedge in the lower corner of the garden; a fine, spacious building, with padlocks on the doors, and every convenience for the mails - also the females, if I may be allowed the expression. It's the old martin-house; but I've stopped up the door, and made the roof open, so it will hold all sorts of things, and save our valuable tim. le. Letters, manuscripts, books, and bundles can be passed in there; and, as each nation has a key, it will be uncommonly nice, I fancy. Allow me to present the club key; and, with many thanks for your favour, take my seat.' Great applause as Mr. Weller deposited a little key on the table, and subsided; the warming-pan clashed and waved wildly, and it was some time before order could be restored. A long discussion followed, and everyone came out surprisingly for everyone did her best; so it was an unusually lively meeting, and did not adjourn till a late hour, when it broke up with three shrill cheers for the new member. No one ever regretted the admittance of Sam Weller, for a more devoted, well-behaved, and jovial member no club could have. He certainly did add `spirit' to the meeting and `a tone' to the paper; for his orations convulsed his hearers, and his contributions were excellent, being patriotic, classical, comical, or dramatic, but never sentimental. Jo regarded them as worthy of Bacon, Milton, or Shakespeare; and remodelled her own works with good effect, she thought. The P.O. was a capital little institution, and flourished wonderfully, for nearly as many queer things passed through it as through the real office. Tragedies and cravats, poetry and pickles, garden-seeds and long letters, music and gingerbread, rubbers, invitations, scoldings and puppies. The old gentleman liked the fun, and amused himself by sending odd bundles, mysterious messages, and funny telegrams; and his gardener, who was smitten with Hannah's charms, actually sent a love-letter to Jo's care. How they laughed when the secret came out, never dreaming how many love-letters that little post-office would hold in the years to come!
冬去春来，一套新游戏又盛行起来了，春日渐长，下午也有了更多的时间进行劳作和嬉戏。院子也该打理了，四姐妹各有一小块地皮，可以按自己的心思料理。罕娜常说：“只要我从烟囱一看，就知道哪块地是属于谁的。”她说得不错，因为姐妹们的趣味就像她们的性格一样，各出一辙。梅格的地里种了玫瑰、长春花，还有一棵小橙树。乔喜欢做实验，园圃里每季都必定换个新花样；今年种的是蓬勃向上的向日葵，葵花子送给科克尔托婶婶和她的小鸡吃。贝思的园子则是老花样，种着各式芬芳扑鼻的鲜花 -甜蜿豆、木犀草、飞燕草、石竹、三色堇、香蒿，还有给小鸟吃的繁缕。艾美的园子弄了个小花荫，虽然弯弯扭扭，倒也十分好看，上面攀满了一圈圈色彩斑斓的忍冬花和牵牛花，一朵朵、一串串，煞为雅致，还有高高的白百合，娇嫩的草蕨等奇葩异草，临风盛开，争奇斗妍。
天气晴朗时，她们或是浇花培土、散步、到河中划艇，或是出去采花，下雨时则呆在家里玩游戏 -一些是旧游戏，一些是新游戏 -全都颇具创意。其中一种叫做"匹克威克社"，因为时下流行建神秘社团，她们认为也该建一个；又因姐妹们都崇拜狄更斯，便把社命名为"匹克威克社"。虽然偶有几次中断，但这个社坚持了足足一年。每到星期六晚上，她们便来到大阁楼会合，举行社团仪式，平时三张椅子并排摆在一张桌子前面，桌上摆着一盏灯和四个白色会徽，上面各印着不同颜色的"匹克威克"几个大字，还摆着一份名为《匹克威克文逊的周报。四姐妹都是这份社报的撰稿人，编辑大人是酷爱舞文弄墨的乔。七点正，四位社员登上阁楼，把会徽绑在头上，庄严坐下。梅格最大，号称塞缪尔·匹克威克；富有文学才情的乔号为奥古斯都·斯诺格拉斯，胖乎乎、肤色红润的贝思号称特雷西·托曼；做事总是不自量力的艾美号纳撒尼尔·温克尔。主席匹克威克宣读社报。报纸里头写满了匠心独运的故事、诗歌、当地新闻、有趣的广告，以及对各人缺点的好意提示。这天，匹克威克先生戴上一副没有镜片的眼镜，敲一下桌子，清清嗓子，使劲瞪一眼斜靠在椅子上的斯诺格拉斯先生，等他坐正了，这才开始读：“匹克威克文选"１８ ，５，２０-诗人角-周年纪念颂今晚，我们再次相聚在匹克威克大堂。
庄严肃穆，头戴徽章，
庆祝我们第五十二个辉煌。
又看到一张张熟悉的面孔，
又握紧了友谊之手；
我们全部到齐，
个个精神抖擞。
我们恭敬地问候，
尽忠职守的匹克威克，
他鼻子上架一副眼镜，
朗读我们精彩的报纸。
虽然感冒使他声音嘶哑，
我们还是听得津津有味，
因为他吐出的字句，
全部充满了智慧。
六尺的斯诺格拉斯高高盘踞，
优雅的姿势透出一股傻气，
棕色的面孔快乐无比，
向伙伴们传送笑意。
诗歌之火燃亮了他的眼睛，
他勇敢地抗争自己的命运。
他眉宇之间写着凌云壮志，
鼻子上却沾了一块墨渍！
接下来是我们文静的托曼，
多么红润、丰满、可爱，
听到俏皮话笑得说不出话来，
还从椅子上滚了下来。
严肃的小温克尔也在这里，
每根头发都摆弄得有条有理，
十足一个礼仪典范，
虽然她最恨洗自己的脸蛋。
岁月无声，一年已逝，
我们仍然团结一致，
欢笑与共，奇文共赏，
在文学殿堂里翱翔。
愿我们的社报长盛不衰，
愿我们的社团永不中断，
愿来年把祝福赐给
朝气蓬勃的匹克威克社。
Ａ．斯诺格拉斯
戴面具的婚礼
威尼斯传奇
船儿一艘接一艘摇过来，停
靠在大理石台阶下，衣着华丽的
人们从船里鱼贯而出，走进阿德
龙伯爵富丽堂皇、宾客如云的大
厅，融会到人海里头，武士、贵
妇人、小精灵、小侍从、僧侣及
卖花女，全都兴高彩烈地随曲起
舞。软语飘荡，妙韵飞扬，化装
舞会正在欢笑声和音乐声中进
行。
“殿下今晚见到维奥拉小姐
了吗？”一位殷勤的行吟诗人问
正靠在他臂膀上在大厅里翩翩
起舞的仙女般的女王。
“见到了，真是绝世佳人，虽
然看上去黯然神伤！她的裙子也
是精心挑选的，因为一个星期后
她就要嫁给安东尼奥伯爵-
一个她恨之入骨的人了。”
“说实话，我嫉妒他。他从那
边走过来了，打扮得像个新郎，
只是戴着黑色面具。摘下面具
后，我们就知道他对那位并不爱
他、但却被严厉的父亲逼着嫁给
他的漂亮姑娘有什么看法了，”
行吟诗人说。
“有消息说她爱上了一个年
轻的英国艺术家，小伙子把她家
的门槛都踏破了，但却遭到老伯
爵的轻蔑拒绝，”女士边舞边说。
当一个牧师出现时舞会达
到了高潮。牧师把这对年轻人带
到挂着紫色天鹅绒帘幕的壁龛
前，示意他们跪下。欢乐的人群
立即安静下来；四面静悄悄一
片，只听到喷泉的洒水声和橙林
在月光下发出的沙沙声。这时阿
德龙伯爵说道：
“各位嘉宾，请原谅我设下
此计请你们来观看我女儿的婚
礼。神父，我们恭候仪式开始。”
众人把眼光一起投向新郎
新娘，人群中响起了一阵惊奇的
低语声，因为两个新人都没有摘
下面具。大家心里异常惊奇，但
出于礼仪都没有做声。一待神圣
的婚礼结束，心急的观众便围着
伯爵追问根由。
“我也是莫明其妙呢，只知
道这是我生性害羞的维奥拉想
出来的怪点子，我也只好由她
了。好了，我的孩子们，游戏到
此为止，摘下面具接受我的祝福
吧。”
但两人并没有跪下来，年轻
的新郎摘下面具，出现在大家面
前的是艺术家情人费迪南德·
德弗罗气质高贵的面孔。他胸佩
一枚闪闪发亮的英国伯爵星徽，
可爱的维奥拉幸福地倚在他的
怀里，艳光四射，神采飞扬。新
郎回答他的口吻震惊四座：
“大人，您轻蔑地叫我等到
和安东尼奥起名并和他一样有
钱的那一天再来娶您的女儿。您
太低估我了，即使您的野心也拒
绝不了德弗罗和德维尔伯爵。他
的姓氏历史悠久，家财富可敌
国，为了和这位漂亮的小姐，也
即我的妻子缔结姻缘，他不惜献
出这一切。”
老伯爵站在那里如泥塑木
雕一般。费迪南德转向迷惑不解
的人群，带着胜利的微笑喜悦地
说道：“勇敢的朋友们，我祝愿你
们求婚也能像我一样马到功成，
祝福你们也能用这种戴面具的
婚礼娶得和我的新娘一样美丽
的姑娘。”
Ｓ．匹克威克
为什么匹克威克社像一盆
散沙？因为它的成员们个个都无
规无矩。
南瓜记
从前，有个农夫在自己的园
子里栽了一粒小种子，不久种子
破土而出，长成一株藤蔓，上面
结了许多南瓜。十月的一天，瓜
儿成熟了。他摘下一个带到市
常一个食品杂货商把瓜买下，
放在自己的商店里。这天早上，
一个戴棕色帽子穿蓝色裙子圆
脸扁鼻的小姑娘来替妈妈把瓜
买去。她把瓜拖回家，切好，放
在大锅里煮；把其中一些拌上盐
和牛油捣烂，用作晚餐时吃；
其余的她加上一品脱牛奶、两个鸡
蛋、四调羹糖、肉豆冠和一些饼
干，然后放在盘子里烘焙，直到
色泽金黄、清香扑鼻为止。第二
天，瓜便被名为"马奇"的一家
子吃掉了。
Ｔ．托曼
匹克威克先生，阁下：
我与阁下讨论罪行问题，罪
人是个名叫温克尔的小子他发
出笑声给匹社制造麻烦有时甚
至不愿意为这份好报写稿我希
望您能原谅他的恶行让他送上
一则法国寓言因为他笨头笨脑
而且还有许多功课要做所以脑
袋不能使得太尽以后我一定抓
紧时间准备一些Ｃｏｍｍｙｌａeｏ
意思是像样的作起来恕我行笔
匆匆因为上课时间又到了。
你尊敬的Ｎ．温克尔
［上文对自己以往的劣行供
认不讳，此种男子气概值得嘉
奖。如果我们这位年轻朋友学习
过句读的话，那就更好了。］
一次不幸事故
上星期五，我们被地窖里头
一下强烈的震动声和紧接而至
的痛苦叫声吓得胆战心惊。我们
一起冲进地窖，发现尊敬的主席
大人倒卧地上，原来他在搬木柴
时绊了一跤。我们看到遍地狼
藉，因为匹克威克先生跌倒时把
头和肩膀插入一桶水里，强壮的
身躯带翻了一小桶软皂，衣服也
被撕烂了。把他抬出险境后，我
们发现他并无受伤，只是擦破了
几处皮肤而已；现在，我们可以
高兴地告诉大家他一切正常。
编辑
痛失爱猫
我们有责任把这件事痛苦
地记录下来：我们珍贵的朋友
雪球·帕特·鲍太太突然神秘
失踪。这只漂亮可爱的猫是一
大班仰慕她的热心朋友的宠
儿，她的美丽引人瞩目，她的优
雅姿态和良好品德赢得了大家
的欢心。众人无不为失去她而
深感痛惜。
最后一次见到她时，她正
坐在门边，盯着屠夫的运货马
车；据推测，可能某个歹徒垂诞
于她的美色，卑鄙地把她偷走。
几个星期已经过去，猫儿仍然
无影无踪。我们放弃了一切希
望，在她的篮子系上黑绸带，把
她的盘子放到一边，并为失去
她而痛哭流涕。
一位富有同情心的朋友送
来如下美文：
挽歌
致Ｓ．Ｂ．帕特·鲍
我们哀悼小猫的失去，
叹息她不幸的命运，
火炉边不再见到她的身影，
门边也没有她淘气的痕迹。
她的孩子气息的小坟，
是栗子树下的一坯净土；
但我们却不能在她坟前洒泪，
因为不知道她魂归何处。
她空着的床，她闲置的球，
再也见不到主人归来；
轻柔的步拍，悦耳的喵叫，
不再从门边传来。
另一只猫来抓老鼠，
那可是个脏面孔；
她不像我们的爱猫机灵，
玩的姿势也比不上她美丽。
她在雪球玩过的大厅，
悄悄溜来溜去。
但她对狗只是呼噜怒叫，
而雪球却勇敢地把它们赶跑。
她温顺尽力，也派得上用场，
但模样却登不上大雅之堂；
你在我们心中的位置，亲爱的，
她怎么能够比上？
Ａ．Ｓ。
广告
奥伦丝·布拉格小姐，成功
的独立见解演讲人，将于下周晚
例行活动之后在匹克威克大厅
讲演其著名专题"论妇女及其地
位"。
每周例会将在厨房举行，教
导年轻女士烹调。主讲人罕娜·
布朗，诚邀全体成员参加。
“畚箕协会"将于下周三集
合，列队开进"社屋"顶层。所
有队员需穿工作服，带扫帚，并
于九点正准时会齐。
贝思·邦斯太太将于下周
展览新式玩偶女帽。最新的巴
黎式样现已到货，欢迎订购。
一场新话剧将于数周后在
巴维尔戏剧院举行，该剧将超越
美国舞台上上演过的任何戏剧。
该剧震撼人心，剧名为：“希腊奴
隶，或复仇者康士坦丁"！
提示：
如果Ｓ．Ｐ．洗手时少用点肥
皂，早餐便不会老是迟到。请Ａ。
Ｓ．不要在街上吹口哨。Ｔ．Ｔ．请
别忘记艾美的手帕。Ｖ．Ｗ．不
必为裙子上有九道横褶而烦恼。
一周总结
梅格--良。
乔- 差。
贝思 -优。
艾美--中。
主席读完报（请读者相信，这是当年一班ｂｏｎａeｉｄｅ的女孩子ｂｏｎａeｉｄｅ写出的报纸），社员发出一轮掌声，接着斯诺格拉斯先生气身提议。
“主席先生，各位先生，”他摆出一副国会议员的架势，郑重其事地说，”我提议接纳一位新成员 -一位实至名归、能够将本社精神发扬光大、提高社报的文学价值、快乐有趣的人士。我提议西奥多·劳伦斯先生成为匹克威克社的名誉成员。来吧，欢迎他吧。” 看到乔突然改变了语调，姑娘们都笑了起来，但大家都显得有点顾虑，斯诺格拉斯落座的时候大家都不做声。
“我们投票决定吧，”主席说，”赞成这项提议的请说：'同意。'"斯诺格拉斯首先大叫一声，使众人吃惊的是，贝思接着也羞答答地表了态。
“持反对意见的请说：'不。'”
梅格和艾美持反对意见。只见温克尔先生站起来，十分优雅地说道：“我们不想要男孩子，他们只会取笑我们，而且淘气捣蛋。这是个女子社团，我们希望名符其实，不受外人干扰。”“我担心他会笑话我们的报纸，进而取笑我们，”匹克威克扯着额前的一小绺鬈发说道。她拿不定主意的时候便是这副样子。
斯诺格拉斯一跃而起，十分着急。”先生，我以一个绅士的名义向你保证，劳里不会做出这种事情。他喜欢写作，他会使我们的稿子另添一种格调，让我们不用多愁善感，你明白吗？他帮了我们许多忙，我们无以为报。我想我们至少可以为他提供一席之地，欢迎他入社。”这番关于既得好处的巧妙暗示令得托曼站起身来，他似乎下定了决心。
“对，我们应该这样，哪怕我们担心也好。依我说，他可以入社，他爷爷也可以，如果他愿意的话。”贝思充满感情的寥寥数语使社员们个个动容，乔离座赞许地与她握手。”好了，再投一次票。大家记住这是我们的劳里，说：'同意！'"斯诺格拉斯激动地叫道。
“同意！同意！同意！”三姐妹异口同声地回答。
“好极了！主保佑你们！现在，正如温克尔那富有个性的说法，最要紧的是'抓紧时间'，那么，请允许我请出我们的新成员。”众人尚在迷惑不解之中，乔已一把拉开柜门，只见劳里坐在一个破布袋上，脸色通红，强忍住笑，双眼闪闪发亮。
“你这淘气鬼！你这叛徒！乔，你怎么可以这样？”三个姑娘喊道。斯诺格拉斯得意洋洋地把她的朋友带上前来，拿出一把椅子和一个会徽，立即把他安置妥当。
“你们两个坏家伙真是冷血动物，”匹克威克开口说道，试图皱起蛾眉，却化作温柔一笑。
不过，新成员善于临机应变。他站起来，向主席感激地行个礼，风度翩翩地说道：“主席先生和女士们--请原谅，先生们--请允许在下自我介绍：山姆·维勒，愿为各位效犬马之劳。”“好！好！”乔把靠着的旧取暖气把手碰得呼呼作响，叫道。
“我忠实的朋友和高贵的恩人，”劳里挥挥手，接着说，”那位不遗余力地把我介绍给各位的人，不应为今晚的卑鄙行径受到责备。这是我出的主意，经我软磨硬缠她才作了让步。”“算了，别包揽一切了，你知道藏在柜子里头是我出的主意，“斯诺格拉斯打断他的话，觉得这个玩笑十分有趣。
“别尽信她说，我才是罪魁祸首，先生，”新成员向匹克威克先生行了个维勒式的点头礼，说道，”不过我用名誉担保，以后决不故伎重演，从此以后我要为这个不朽的社团竭尽全力。”“听哪！听哪！”乔叫道，把取暖器的盖子当作铙钹乱敲一气。
“往下说，往下说！”温克尔和托曼说道，主席则温厚地一躬身子。
“我只想说，承蒙厚爱，不胜惶恐，为表示感激之情，为加强我们邻里之间的友好关系，我在花园低矮一角的树篱里设了一个邮箱。那是间宽敞漂亮的小屋，各道门都上了挂锁，鱼雁贯通，方便之极。它原是一间旧燕屋，但我已把门堵上，把屋顶打开，这样便可以取各种物件，节省我们的宝贵时间。
那些信件、手稿、书本、包裹等等，都可以在那里传递，我们两家各执一枚钥匙，我相信这样一定妙趣横生。请允许我献上这把社匙，并衷心感谢各位的厚意，并承蒙赐座。”当维勒先生把一枚小钥匙放在桌上退下时，掌声热烈响起，取暖器当当作响、乱晃一气，秩序好一会才恢复过来。接着是长时间的讨论，大家充分发挥，个个的表现都出人意料；会议开得异常活跃，足足开了近一个小时才在为新成员发出的三下欢呼声中结束。对于吸收山姆·维勒入社，大家从不感到后悔，因为他富有献身精神，表现出色，活泼快乐，堪称社员的楷模。他无疑发扬光大了各项会议的"精神"，给社报增添了一种"格调"，因为他的演说震撼人心，他的文稿格调优美清新，富有爱国热忱，而且幽默生动，从不多愁善感，乔觉得这些文章堪可媲美培根、弥尔顿、莎士比亚的大作，并对自己的文风也有很大影响。
邮箱确实妙不可言，它的业务十分繁荣，其作用足以与真正的邮局媲美，因为各种各样离奇古怪的东西都经那里传递：乐器、姜饼、胶擦、邀请信、训斥信，还有小狗，等等。
连劳伦斯老人都感到有趣，也送一些古怪包裹、神秘字条和滑稽的电报来凑热闹；而他那位拜倒在罕娜石榴裙下的园丁，竟送了一封情书让乔转交。当秘密泄漏时大家笑得前仰后合，绝没有想到这个小小的邮箱日后还会容纳多少情书！
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