School began in earnest next day. A profound impression was made upon me, I remember, by the roar of voices in the schoolroom suddenly becoming hushed as death when Mr. Creakle entered after breakfast, and stood in the doorway1 looking round upon us like a giant in a story-book surveying his captives.
Tungay stood at Mr. Creakle's elbow. He had no occasion, I thought, to cry out 'Silence!' so ferociously2, for the boys were all struck speechless and motionless.
Mr. Creakle was seen to speak, and Tungay was heard, to this effect.
'Now, boys, this is a new half. Take care what you're about, in this new half. Come fresh up to the lessons, I advise you, for I come fresh up to the punishment. I won't flinch3. It will be of no use your rubbing yourselves; you won't rub the marks out that I shall give you. Now get to work, every boy!'
When this dreadful exordium was over, and Tungay had stumped5 out again, Mr. Creakle came to where I sat, and told me that if I were famous for biting, he was famous for biting, too. He then showed me the cane6, and asked me what I thought of THAT, for a tooth? Was it a sharp tooth, hey? Was it a double tooth, hey? Had it a deep prong, hey? Did it bite, hey? Did it bite? At every question he gave me a fleshy cut with it that made me writhe7; so I was very soon made free of Salem House (as Steerforth said), and was very soon in tears also.
Not that I mean to say these were special marks of distinction, which only I received. On the contrary, a large majority of the boys (especially the smaller ones) were visited with similar instances of notice, as Mr. Creakle made the round of the schoolroom. Half the establishment was writhing9 and crying, before the day's work began; and how much of it had writhed10 and cried before the day's work was over, I am really afraid to recollect11, lest I should seem to exaggerate.
I should think there never can have been a man who enjoyed his profession more than Mr. Creakle did. He had a delight in cutting at the boys, which was like the satisfaction of a craving12 appetite. I am confident that he couldn't resist a chubby13 boy, especially; that there was a fascination14 in such a subject, which made him restless in his mind, until he had scored and marked him for the day. I was chubby myself, and ought to know. I am sure when I think of the fellow now, my blood rises against him with the disinterested15 indignation I should feel if I could have known all about him without having ever been in his power; but it rises hotly, because I know him to have been an incapable16 brute17, who had no more right to be possessed18 of the great trust he held, than to be Lord High Admiral, or Commander-in-Chief - in either of which capacities it is probable that he would have done infinitely19 less mischief20.
Miserable21 little propitiators of a remorseless Idol23, how abject24 we were to him! What a launch in life I think it now, on looking back, to be so mean and servile to a man of such parts and pretensions25!
Here I sit at the desk again, watching his eye - humbly26 watching his eye, as he rules a ciphering-book for another victim whose hands have just been flattened27 by that identical ruler, and who is trying to wipe the sting out with a pocket-handkerchief. I have plenty to do. I don't watch his eye in idleness, but because I am morbidly28 attracted to it, in a dread4 desire to know what he will do next, and whether it will be my turn to suffer, or somebody else's. A lane of small boys beyond me, with the same interest in his eye, watch it too. I think he knows it, though he pretends he don't. He makes dreadful mouths as he rules the ciphering-book; and now he throws his eye sideways down our lane, and we all droop29 over our books and tremble. A moment afterwards we are again eyeing him. An unhappy culprit, found guilty of imperfect exercise, approaches at his command. The culprit falters30 excuses, and professes31 a determination to do better tomorrow. Mr. Creakle cuts a joke before he beats him, and we laugh at it, - miserable little dogs, we laugh, with our visages as white as ashes, and our hearts sinking into our boots.
Here I sit at the desk again, on a drowsy32 summer afternoon. A buzz and hum go up around me, as if the boys were so many bluebottles. A cloggy sensation of the lukewarm fat of meat is upon me (we dined an hour or two ago), and my head is as heavy as so much lead. I would give the world to go to sleep. I sit with my eye on Mr. Creakle, blinking at him like a young owl33; when sleep overpowers me for a minute, he still looms34 through my slumber35, ruling those ciphering-books, until he softly comes behind me and wakes me to plainer perception of him, with a red ridge36 across my back.
Here I am in the playground, with my eye still fascinated by him, though I can't see him. The window at a little distance from which I know he is having his dinner, stands for him, and I eye that instead. If he shows his face near it, mine assumes an imploring37 and submissive expression. If he looks out through the glass, the boldest boy (Steerforth excepted) stops in the middle of a shout or yell, and becomes contemplative. One day, Traddles (the most unfortunate boy in the world) breaks that window accidentally, with a ball. I shudder38 at this moment with the tremendous sensation of seeing it done, and feeling that the ball has bounded on to Mr. Creakle's sacred head.
Poor Traddles! In a tight sky-blue suit that made his arms and legs like German sausages, or roly-poly puddings, he was the merriest and most miserable of all the boys. He was always being caned39 - I think he was caned every day that half-year, except one holiday Monday when he was only ruler'd on both hands - and was always going to write to his uncle about it, and never did. After laying his head on the desk for a little while, he would cheer up, somehow, begin to laugh again, and draw skeletons all over his slate40, before his eyes were dry. I used at first to wonder what comfort Traddles found in drawing skeletons; and for some time looked upon him as a sort of hermit41, who reminded himself by those symbols of mortality that caning42 couldn't last for ever. But I believe he only did it because they were easy, and didn't want any features.
He was very honourable43, Traddles was, and held it as a solemn duty in the boys to stand by one another. He suffered for this on several occasions; and particularly once, when Steerforth laughed in church, and the Beadle thought it was Traddles, and took him out. I see him now, going away in custody44, despised by the congregation. He never said who was the real offender45, though he smarted for it next day, and was imprisoned46 so many hours that he came forth8 with a whole churchyard-full of skeletons swarming47 all over his Latin Dictionary. But he had his reward. Steerforth said there was nothing of the sneak48 in Traddles, and we all felt that to be the highest praise. For my part, I could have gone through a good deal (though I was much less brave than Traddles, and nothing like so old) to have won such a recompense.
To see Steerforth walk to church before us, arm-in-arm with Miss Creakle, was one of the great sights of my life. I didn't think Miss Creakle equal to little Em'ly in point of beauty, and I didn't love her (I didn't dare); but I thought her a young lady of extraordinary attractions, and in point of gentility not to be surpassed. When Steerforth, in white trousers, carried her parasol for her, I felt proud to know him; and believed that she could not choose but adore him with all her heart. Mr. Sharp and Mr. Mell were both notable personages in my eyes; but Steerforth was to them what the sun was to two stars.
Steerforth continued his protection of me, and proved a very useful friend; since nobody dared to annoy one whom he honoured with his countenance49. He couldn't - or at all events he didn't - defend me from Mr. Creakle, who was very severe with me; but whenever I had been treated worse than usual, he always told me that I wanted a little of his pluck, and that he wouldn't have stood it himself; which I felt he intended for encouragement, and considered to be very kind of him. There was one advantage, and only one that I know of, in Mr. Creakle's severity. He found my placard in his way when he came up or down behind the form on which I sat, and wanted to make a cut at me in passing; for this reason it was soon taken off, and I saw it no more.
An accidental circumstance cemented the intimacy50 between Steerforth and me, in a manner that inspired me with great pride and satisfaction, though it sometimes led to inconvenience. It happened on one occasion, when he was doing me the honour of talking to me in the playground, that I hazarded the observation that something or somebody - I forget what now - was like something or somebody in Peregrine Pickle51. He said nothing at the time; but when I was going to bed at night, asked me if I had got that book?
I told him no, and explained how it was that I had read it, and all those other books of which I have made mention.
'And do you recollect them?' Steerforth said.
'Oh yes,' I replied; I had a good memory, and I believed I recollected52 them very well.
'Then I tell you what, young Copperfield,' said Steerforth, 'you shall tell 'em to me. I can't get to sleep very early at night, and I generally wake rather early in the morning. We'll go over 'em one after another. We'll make some regular Arabian Nights of it.'
I felt extremely flattered by this arrangement, and we commenced carrying it into execution that very evening. What ravages53 I committed on my favourite authors in the course of my interpretation54 of them, I am not in a condition to say, and should be very unwilling55 to know; but I had a profound faith in them, and I had, to the best of my belief, a simple, earnest manner of narrating56 what I did narrate57; and these qualities went a long way.
The drawback was, that I was often sleepy at night, or out of spirits and indisposed to resume the story; and then it was rather hard work, and it must be done; for to disappoint or to displease58 Steerforth was of course out of the question. In the morning, too, when I felt weary, and should have enjoyed another hour's repose59 very much, it was a tiresome60 thing to be roused, like the Sultana Scheherazade, and forced into a long story before the getting-up bell rang; but Steerforth was resolute61; and as he explained to me, in return, my sums and exercises, and anything in my tasks that was too hard for me, I was no loser by the transaction. Let me do myself justice, however. I was moved by no interested or selfish motive62, nor was I moved by fear of him. I admired and loved him, and his approval was return enough. It was so precious to me that I look back on these trifles, now, with an aching heart.
Steerforth was considerate, too; and showed his consideration, in one particular instance, in an unflinching manner that was a little tantalizing63, I suspect, to poor Traddles and the rest. Peggotty's promised letter - what a comfortable letter it was! - arrived before 'the half' was many weeks old; and with it a cake in a perfect nest of oranges, and two bottles of cowslip wine. This treasure, as in duty bound, I laid at the feet of Steerforth, and begged him to dispense64.
'Now, I'll tell you what, young Copperfield,' said he: 'the wine shall be kept to wet your whistle when you are story-telling.'
I blushed at the idea, and begged him, in my modesty65, not to think of it. But he said he had observed I was sometimes hoarse66 - a little roopy was his exact expression - and it should be, every drop, devoted67 to the purpose he had mentioned. Accordingly, it was locked up in his box, and drawn68 off by himself in a phial, and administered to me through a piece of quill69 in the cork70, when I was supposed to be in want of a restorative. Sometimes, to make it a more sovereign specific, he was so kind as to squeeze orange juice into it, or to stir it up with ginger71, or dissolve a peppermint72 drop in it; and although I cannot assert that the flavour was improved by these experiments, or that it was exactly the compound one would have chosen for a stomachic, the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning, I drank it gratefully and was very sensible of his attention.
We seem, to me, to have been months over Peregrine, and months more over the other stories. The institution never flagged for want of a story, I am certain; and the wine lasted out almost as well as the matter. Poor Traddles - I never think of that boy but with a strange disposition73 to laugh, and with tears in my eyes - was a sort of chorus, in general; and affected74 to be convulsed with mirth at the comic parts, and to be overcome with fear when there was any passage of an alarming character in the narrative75. This rather put me out, very often. It was a great jest of his, I recollect, to pretend that he couldn't keep his teeth from chattering76, whenever mention was made of an Alguazill in connexion with the adventures of Gil Blas; and I remember that when Gil Blas met the captain of the robbers in Madrid, this unlucky joker counterfeited77 such an ague of terror, that he was overheard by Mr. Creakle, who was prowling about the passage, and handsomely flogged for disorderly conduct in the bedroom. Whatever I had within me that was romantic and dreamy, was encouraged by so much story-telling in the dark; and in that respect the pursuit may not have been very profitable to me. But the being cherished as a kind of plaything in my room, and the consciousness that this accomplishment78 of mine was bruited79 about among the boys, and attracted a good deal of notice to me though I was the youngest there, stimulated80 me to exertion81. In a school carried on by sheer cruelty, whether it is presided over by a dunce or not, there is not likely to be much learnt. I believe our boys were, generally, as ignorant a set as any schoolboys in existence; they were too much troubled and knocked about to learn; they could no more do that to advantage, than any one can do anything to advantage in a life of constant misfortune, torment82, and worry. But my little vanity, and Steerforth's help, urged me on somehow; and without saving me from much, if anything, in the way of punishment, made me, for the time I was there, an exception to the general body, insomuch that I did steadily83 pick up some crumbs84 of knowledge.
In this I was much assisted by Mr. Mell, who had a liking85 for me that I am grateful to remember. It always gave me pain to observe that Steerforth treated him with systematic86 disparagement87, and seldom lost an occasion of wounding his feelings, or inducing others to do so. This troubled me the more for a long time, because I had soon told Steerforth, from whom I could no more keep such a secret, than I could keep a cake or any other tangible88 possession, about the two old women Mr. Mell had taken me to see; and I was always afraid that Steerforth would let it out, and twit him with it.
We little thought, any one of us, I dare say, when I ate my breakfast that first morning, and went to sleep under the shadow of the peacock's feathers to the sound of the flute89, what consequences would come of the introduction into those alms-houses of my insignificant90 person. But the visit had its unforeseen consequences; and of a serious sort, too, in their way.
One day when Mr. Creakle kept the house from indisposition, which naturally diffused91 a lively joy through the school, there was a good deal of noise in the course of the morning's work. The great relief and satisfaction experienced by the boys made them difficult to manage; and though the dreaded92 Tungay brought his wooden leg in twice or thrice, and took notes of the principal offenders93' names, no great impression was made by it, as they were pretty sure of getting into trouble tomorrow, do what they would, and thought it wise, no doubt, to enjoy themselves today.
It was, properly, a half-holiday; being Saturday. But as the noise in the playground would have disturbed Mr. Creakle, and the weather was not favourable94 for going out walking, we were ordered into school in the afternoon, and set some lighter95 tasks than usual, which were made for the occasion. It was the day of the week on which Mr. Sharp went out to get his wig96 curled; so Mr. Mell, who always did the drudgery97, whatever it was, kept school by himself. If I could associate the idea of a bull or a bear with anyone so mild as Mr. Mell, I should think of him, in connexion with that afternoon when the uproar98 was at its height, as of one of those animals, baited by a thousand dogs. I recall him bending his aching head, supported on his bony hand, over the book on his desk, and wretchedly endeavouring to get on with his tiresome work, amidst an uproar that might have made the Speaker of the House of Commons giddy. Boys started in and out of their places, playing at puss in the corner with other boys; there were laughing boys, singing boys, talking boys, dancing boys, howling boys; boys shuffled99 with their feet, boys whirled about him, grinning, making faces, mimicking100 him behind his back and before his eyes; mimicking his poverty, his boots, his coat, his mother, everything belonging to him that they should have had consideration for.
'Silence!' cried Mr. Mell, suddenly rising up, and striking his desk with the book. 'What does this mean! It's impossible to bear it. It's maddening. How can you do it to me, boys?'
It was my book that he struck his desk with; and as I stood beside him, following his eye as it glanced round the room, I saw the boys all stop, some suddenly surprised, some half afraid, and some sorry perhaps.
Steerforth's place was at the bottom of the school, at the opposite end of the long room. He was lounging with his back against the wall, and his hands in his pockets, and looked at Mr. Mell with his mouth shut up as if he were whistling, when Mr. Mell looked at him.
'Silence, Mr. Steerforth!' said Mr. Mell.
'Silence yourself,' said Steerforth, turning red. 'Whom are you talking to?'
'Sit down,' said Mr. Mell.
'Sit down yourself,' said Steerforth, 'and mind your business.'
There was a titter, and some applause; but Mr. Mell was so white, that silence immediately succeeded; and one boy, who had darted101 out behind him to imitate his mother again, changed his mind, and pretended to want a pen mended.
'If you think, Steerforth,' said Mr. Mell, 'that I am not acquainted with the power you can establish over any mind here' - he laid his hand, without considering what he did (as I supposed), upon my head - 'or that I have not observed you, within a few minutes, urging your juniors on to every sort of outrage102 against me, you are mistaken.'
'I don't give myself the trouble of thinking at all about you,' said Steerforth, coolly; 'so I'm not mistaken, as it happens.'
'And when you make use of your position of favouritism here, sir,' pursued Mr. Mell, with his lip trembling very much, 'to insult a gentleman -'
'A what? - where is he?' said Steerforth.
Here somebody cried out, 'Shame, J. Steerforth! Too bad!' It was Traddles; whom Mr. Mell instantly discomfited103 by bidding him hold his tongue.
- 'To insult one who is not fortunate in life, sir, and who never gave you the least offence, and the many reasons for not insulting whom you are old enough and wise enough to understand,' said Mr. Mell, with his lips trembling more and more, 'you commit a mean and base action. You can sit down or stand up as you please, sir. Copperfield, go on.'
'Young Copperfield,' said Steerforth, coming forward up the room, 'stop a bit. I tell you what, Mr. Mell, once for all. When you take the liberty of calling me mean or base, or anything of that sort, you are an impudent104 beggar. You are always a beggar, you know; but when you do that, you are an impudent beggar.'
I am not clear whether he was going to strike Mr. Mell, or Mr. Mell was going to strike him, or there was any such intention on either side. I saw a rigidity105 come upon the whole school as if they had been turned into stone, and found Mr. Creakle in the midst of us, with Tungay at his side, and Mrs. and Miss Creakle looking in at the door as if they were frightened. Mr. Mell, with his elbows on his desk and his face in his hands, sat, for some moments, quite still.
'Mr. Mell,' said Mr. Creakle, shaking him by the arm; and his whisper was so audible now, that Tungay felt it unnecessary to repeat his words; 'you have not forgotten yourself, I hope?'
'No, sir, no,' returned the Master, showing his face, and shaking his head, and rubbing his hands in great agitation106. 'No, sir. No. I have remembered myself, I - no, Mr. Creakle, I have not forgotten myself, I - I have remembered myself, sir. I - I - could wish you had remembered me a little sooner, Mr. Creakle. It - it - would have been more kind, sir, more just, sir. It would have saved me something, sir.'
Mr. Creakle, looking hard at Mr. Mell, put his hand on Tungay's shoulder, and got his feet upon the form close by, and sat upon the desk. After still looking hard at Mr. Mell from his throne, as he shook his head, and rubbed his hands, and remained in the same state of agitation, Mr. Creakle turned to Steerforth, and said:
'Now, sir, as he don't condescend107 to tell me, what is this?'
Steerforth evaded108 the question for a little while; looking in scorn and anger on his opponent, and remaining silent. I could not help thinking even in that interval109, I remember, what a noble fellow he was in appearance, and how homely110 and plain Mr. Mell looked opposed to him.
'What did he mean by talking about favourites, then?' said Steerforth at length.
'Favourites?' repeated Mr. Creakle, with the veins111 in his forehead swelling112 quickly. 'Who talked about favourites?'
'He did,' said Steerforth.
'And pray, what did you mean by that, sir?' demanded Mr. Creakle, turning angrily on his assistant.
'I meant, Mr. Creakle,' he returned in a low voice, 'as I said; that no pupil had a right to avail himself of his position of favouritism to degrade me.'
'To degrade YOU?' said Mr. Creakle. 'My stars! But give me leave to ask you, Mr. What's-your-name'; and here Mr. Creakle folded his arms, cane and all, upon his chest, and made such a knot of his brows that his little eyes were hardly visible below them; 'whether, when you talk about favourites, you showed proper respect to me? To me, sir,' said Mr. Creakle, darting113 his head at him suddenly, and drawing it back again, 'the principal of this establishment, and your employer.'
'It was not judicious114, sir, I am willing to admit,' said Mr. Mell. 'I should not have done so, if I had been cool.'
Here Steerforth struck in.
'Then he said I was mean, and then he said I was base, and then I called him a beggar. If I had been cool, perhaps I shouldn't have called him a beggar. But I did, and I am ready to take the consequences of it.'
Without considering, perhaps, whether there were any consequences to be taken, I felt quite in a glow at this gallant115 speech. It made an impression on the boys too, for there was a low stir among them, though no one spoke116 a word.
'I am surprised, Steerforth - although your candour does you honour,' said Mr. Creakle, 'does you honour, certainly - I am surprised, Steerforth, I must say, that you should attach such an epithet117 to any person employed and paid in Salem House, sir.'
Steerforth gave a short laugh.
'That's not an answer, sir,' said Mr. Creakle, 'to my remark. I expect more than that from you, Steerforth.'
If Mr. Mell looked homely, in my eyes, before the handsome boy, it would be quite impossible to say how homely Mr. Creakle looked. 'Let him deny it,' said Steerforth.
'Deny that he is a beggar, Steerforth?' cried Mr. Creakle. 'Why, where does he go a-begging?'
'If he is not a beggar himself, his near relation's one,' said Steerforth. 'It's all the same.'
He glanced at me, and Mr. Mell's hand gently patted me upon the shoulder. I looked up with a flush upon my face and remorse22 in my heart, but Mr. Mell's eyes were fixed118 on Steerforth. He continued to pat me kindly119 on the shoulder, but he looked at him.
'Since you expect me, Mr. Creakle, to justify120 myself,' said Steerforth, 'and to say what I mean, - what I have to say is, that his mother lives on charity in an alms-house.'
Mr. Mell still looked at him, and still patted me kindly on the shoulder, and said to himself, in a whisper, if I heard right: 'Yes, I thought so.'
Mr. Creakle turned to his assistant, with a severe frown and laboured politeness:
'Now, you hear what this gentleman says, Mr. Mell. Have the goodness, if you please, to set him right before the assembled school.'
'He is right, sir, without correction,' returned Mr. Mell, in the midst of a dead silence; 'what he has said is true.'
'Be so good then as declare publicly, will you,' said Mr. Creakle, putting his head on one side, and rolling his eyes round the school, 'whether it ever came to my knowledge until this moment?'
'I believe not directly,' he returned.
'Why, you know not,' said Mr. Creakle. 'Don't you, man?'
'I apprehend122 you never supposed my worldly circumstances to be very good,' replied the assistant. 'You know what my position is, and always has been, here.'
'I apprehend, if you come to that,' said Mr. Creakle, with his veins swelling again bigger than ever, 'that you've been in a wrong position altogether, and mistook this for a charity school. Mr. Mell, we'll part, if you please. The sooner the better.'
'There is no time,' answered Mr. Mell, rising, 'like the present.'
'Sir, to you!' said Mr. Creakle.
'I take my leave of you, Mr. Creakle, and all of you,' said Mr. Mell, glancing round the room, and again patting me gently on the shoulders. 'James Steerforth, the best wish I can leave you is that you may come to be ashamed of what you have done today. At present I would prefer to see you anything rather than a friend, to me, or to anyone in whom I feel an interest.'
Once more he laid his hand upon my shoulder; and then taking his flute and a few books from his desk, and leaving the key in it for his successor, he went out of the school, with his property under his arm. Mr. Creakle then made a speech, through Tungay, in which he thanked Steerforth for asserting (though perhaps too warmly) the independence and respectability of Salem House; and which he wound up by shaking hands with Steerforth, while we gave three cheers - I did not quite know what for, but I supposed for Steerforth, and so joined in them ardently123, though I felt miserable. Mr. Creakle then caned Tommy Traddles for being discovered in tears, instead of cheers, on account of Mr. Mell's departure; and went back to his sofa, or his bed, or wherever he had come from.
We were left to ourselves now, and looked very blank, I recollect, on one another. For myself, I felt so much self-reproach and contrition124 for my part in what had happened, that nothing would have enabled me to keep back my tears but the fear that Steerforth, who often looked at me, I saw, might think it unfriendly - or, I should rather say, considering our relative ages, and the feeling with which I regarded him, undutiful - if I showed the emotion which distressed125 me. He was very angry with Traddles, and said he was glad he had caught it.
Poor Traddles, who had passed the stage of lying with his head upon the desk, and was relieving himself as usual with a burst of skeletons, said he didn't care. Mr. Mell was ill-used.
'Who has ill-used him, you girl?' said Steerforth.
'Why, you have,' returned Traddles.
'What have I done?' said Steerforth.
'What have you done?' retorted Traddles. 'Hurt his feelings, and lost him his situation.'
'His feelings?' repeated Steerforth disdainfully. 'His feelings will soon get the better of it, I'll be bound. His feelings are not like yours, Miss Traddles. As to his situation - which was a precious one, wasn't it? - do you suppose I am not going to write home, and take care that he gets some money? Polly?'
We thought this intention very noble in Steerforth, whose mother was a widow, and rich, and would do almost anything, it was said, that he asked her. We were all extremely glad to see Traddles so put down, and exalted126 Steerforth to the skies: especially when he told us, as he condescended127 to do, that what he had done had been done expressly for us, and for our cause; and that he had conferred a great boon128 upon us by unselfishly doing it. But I must say that when I was going on with a story in the dark that night, Mr. Mell's old flute seemed more than once to sound mournfully in my ears; and that when at last Steerforth was tired, and I lay down in my bed, I fancied it playing so sorrowfully somewhere, that I was quite wretched.
I soon forgot him in the contemplation of Steerforth, who, in an easy amateur way, and without any book (he seemed to me to know everything by heart), took some of his classes until a new master was found. The new master came from a grammar school; and before he entered on his duties, dined in the parlour one day, to be introduced to Steerforth. Steerforth approved of him highly, and told us he was a Brick. Without exactly understanding what learned distinction was meant by this, I respected him greatly for it, and had no doubt whatever of his superior knowledge: though he never took the pains with me - not that I was anybody - that Mr. Mell had taken.
There was only one other event in this half-year, out of the daily school-life, that made an impression upon me which still survives. It survives for many reasons.
One afternoon, when we were all harassed129 into a state of dire121 confusion, and Mr. Creakle was laying about him dreadfully, Tungay came in, and called out in his usual strong way: 'Visitors for Copperfield!'
A few words were interchanged between him and Mr. Creakle, as, who the visitors were, and what room they were to be shown into; and then I, who had, according to custom, stood up on the announcement being made, and felt quite faint with astonishment130, was told to go by the back stairs and get a clean frill on, before I repaired to the dining-room. These orders I obeyed, in such a flutter and hurry of my young spirits as I had never known before; and when I got to the parlour door, and the thought came into my head that it might be my mother - I had only thought of Mr. or Miss Murdstone until then - I drew back my hand from the lock, and stopped to have a sob131 before I went in.
At first I saw nobody; but feeling a pressure against the door, I looked round it, and there, to my amazement132, were Mr. Peggotty and Ham, ducking at me with their hats, and squeezing one another against the wall. I could not help laughing; but it was much more in the pleasure of seeing them, than at the appearance they made. We shook hands in a very cordial way; and I laughed and laughed, until I pulled out my pocket-handkerchief and wiped my eyes.
Mr. Peggotty (who never shut his mouth once, I remember, during the visit) showed great concern when he saw me do this, and nudged Ham to say something.
'Cheer up, Mas'r Davy bor'!' said Ham, in his simpering way. 'Why, how you have growed!'
'Am I grown?' I said, drying my eyes. I was not crying at anything in particular that I know of; but somehow it made me cry, to see old friends.
'Growed, Mas'r Davy bor'? Ain't he growed!' said Ham.
'Ain't he growed!' said Mr. Peggotty.
They made me laugh again by laughing at each other, and then we all three laughed until I was in danger of crying again.
'Do you know how mama is, Mr. Peggotty?' I said. 'And how my dear, dear, old Peggotty is?'
'Oncommon,' said Mr. Peggotty.
'And little Em'ly, and Mrs. Gummidge?'
'On - common,' said Mr. Peggotty.
There was a silence. Mr. Peggotty, to relieve it, took two prodigious133 lobsters134, and an enormous crab135, and a large canvas bag of shrimps136, out of his pockets, and piled them up in Ham's arms.
'You see,' said Mr. Peggotty, 'knowing as you was partial to a little relish137 with your wittles when you was along with us, we took the liberty. The old Mawther biled 'em, she did. Mrs. Gummidge biled 'em. Yes,' said Mr. Peggotty, slowly, who I thought appeared to stick to the subject on account of having no other subject ready, 'Mrs. Gummidge, I do assure you, she biled 'em.'
I expressed my thanks; and Mr. Peggotty, after looking at Ham, who stood smiling sheepishly over the shellfish, without making any attempt to help him, said:
'We come, you see, the wind and tide making in our favour, in one of our Yarmouth lugs138 to Gravesen'. My sister she wrote to me the name of this here place, and wrote to me as if ever I chanced to come to Gravesen', I was to come over and inquire for Mas'r Davy and give her dooty, humbly wishing him well and reporting of the fam'ly as they was oncommon toe-be-sure. Little Em'ly, you see, she'll write to my sister when I go back, as I see you and as you was similarly oncommon, and so we make it quite a merry- go-rounder.'
I was obliged to consider a little before I understood what Mr. Peggotty meant by this figure, expressive139 of a complete circle of intelligence. I then thanked him heartily140; and said, with a consciousness of reddening, that I supposed little Em'ly was altered too, since we used to pick up shells and pebbles141 on the beach?
'She's getting to be a woman, that's wot she's getting to be,' said Mr. Peggotty. 'Ask HIM.' He meant Ham, who beamed with delight and assent142 over the bag of shrimps.
'Her pretty face!' said Mr. Peggotty, with his own shining like a light.
'Her learning!' said Ham.
'Her writing!' said Mr. Peggotty. 'Why it's as black as jet! And so large it is, you might see it anywheres.'
It was perfectly143 delightful144 to behold145 with what enthusiasm Mr. Peggotty became inspired when he thought of his little favourite. He stands before me again, his bluff146 hairy face irradiating with a joyful147 love and pride, for which I can find no description. His honest eyes fire up, and sparkle, as if their depths were stirred by something bright. His broad chest heaves with pleasure. His strong loose hands clench148 themselves, in his earnestness; and he emphasizes what he says with a right arm that shows, in my pigmy view, like a sledge-hammer.
Ham was quite as earnest as he. I dare say they would have said much more about her, if they had not been abashed149 by the unexpected coming in of Steerforth, who, seeing me in a corner speaking with two strangers, stopped in a song he was singing, and said: 'I didn't know you were here, young Copperfield!' (for it was not the usual visiting room) and crossed by us on his way out.
I am not sure whether it was in the pride of having such a friend as Steerforth, or in the desire to explain to him how I came to have such a friend as Mr. Peggotty, that I called to him as he was going away. But I said, modestly - Good Heaven, how it all comes back to me this long time afterwards! -
'Don't go, Steerforth, if you please. These are two Yarmouth boatmen - very kind, good people - who are relations of my nurse, and have come from Gravesend to see me.'
'Aye, aye?' said Steerforth, returning. 'I am glad to see them. How are you both?'
There was an ease in his manner - a gay and light manner it was, but not swaggering - which I still believe to have borne a kind of enchantment150 with it. I still believe him, in virtue151 of this carriage, his animal spirits, his delightful voice, his handsome face and figure, and, for aught I know, of some inborn152 power of attraction besides (which I think a few people possess), to have carried a spell with him to which it was a natural weakness to yield, and which not many persons could withstand. I could not but see how pleased they were with him, and how they seemed to open their hearts to him in a moment.
'You must let them know at home, if you please, Mr. Peggotty,' I said, 'when that letter is sent, that Mr. Steerforth is very kind to me, and that I don't know what I should ever do here without him.'
'Nonsense!' said Steerforth, laughing. 'You mustn't tell them anything of the sort.'
'And if Mr. Steerforth ever comes into Norfolk or Suffolk, Mr. Peggotty,' I said, 'while I am there, you may depend upon it I shall bring him to Yarmouth, if he will let me, to see your house. You never saw such a good house, Steerforth. It's made out of a boat!'
'Made out of a boat, is it?' said Steerforth. 'It's the right sort of a house for such a thorough-built boatman.'
'So 'tis, sir, so 'tis, sir,' said Ham, grinning. 'You're right, young gen'l'm'n! Mas'r Davy bor', gen'l'm'n's right. A thorough- built boatman! Hor, hor! That's what he is, too!'
Mr. Peggotty was no less pleased than his nephew, though his modesty forbade him to claim a personal compliment so vociferously153.
'Well, sir,' he said, bowing and chuckling154, and tucking in the ends of his neckerchief at his breast: 'I thankee, sir, I thankee! I do my endeavours in my line of life, sir.'
'The best of men can do no more, Mr. Peggotty,' said Steerforth. He had got his name already.
'I'll pound it, it's wot you do yourself, sir,' said Mr. Peggotty, shaking his head, 'and wot you do well - right well! I thankee, sir. I'm obleeged to you, sir, for your welcoming manner of me. I'm rough, sir, but I'm ready - least ways, I hope I'm ready, you unnerstand. My house ain't much for to see, sir, but it's hearty155 at your service if ever you should come along with Mas'r Davy to see it. I'm a reg'lar Dodman, I am,' said Mr. Peggotty, by which he meant snail156, and this was in allusion157 to his being slow to go, for he had attempted to go after every sentence, and had somehow or other come back again; 'but I wish you both well, and I wish you happy!'
Ham echoed this sentiment, and we parted with them in the heartiest159 manner. I was almost tempted158 that evening to tell Steerforth about pretty little Em'ly, but I was too timid of mentioning her name, and too much afraid of his laughing at me. I remember that I thought a good deal, and in an uneasy sort of way, about Mr. Peggotty having said that she was getting on to be a woman; but I decided160 that was nonsense.
We transported the shellfish, or the 'relish' as Mr. Peggotty had modestly called it, up into our room unobserved, and made a great supper that evening. But Traddles couldn't get happily out of it. He was too unfortunate even to come through a supper like anybody else. He was taken ill in the night - quite prostrate161 he was - in consequence of Crab; and after being drugged with black draughts162 and blue pills, to an extent which Demple (whose father was a doctor) said was enough to undermine a horse's constitution, received a caning and six chapters of Greek Testament163 for refusing to confess.
The rest of the half-year is a jumble164 in my recollection of the daily strife165 and struggle of our lives; of the waning166 summer and the changing season; of the frosty mornings when we were rung out of bed, and the cold, cold smell of the dark nights when we were rung into bed again; of the evening schoolroom dimly lighted and indifferently warmed, and the morning schoolroom which was nothing but a great shivering-machine; of the alternation of boiled beef with roast beef, and boiled mutton with roast mutton; of clods of bread-and-butter, dog's-eared lesson-books, cracked slates167, tear-blotted copy-books, canings, rulerings, hair-cuttings, rainy Sundays, suet-puddings, and a dirty atmosphere of ink, surrounding all.
I well remember though, how the distant idea of the holidays, after seeming for an immense time to be a stationary168 speck169, began to come towards us, and to grow and grow. How from counting months, we came to weeks, and then to days; and how I then began to be afraid that I should not be sent for and when I learnt from Steerforth that I had been sent for, and was certainly to go home, had dim forebodings that I might break my leg first. How the breaking-up day changed its place fast, at last, from the week after next to next week, this week, the day after tomorrow, tomorrow, today, tonight - when I was inside the Yarmouth mail, and going home.
I had many a broken sleep inside the Yarmouth mail, and many an incoherent dream of all these things. But when I awoke at intervals170, the ground outside the window was not the playground of Salem House, and the sound in my ears was not the sound of Mr. Creakle giving it to Traddles, but the sound of the coachman touching171 up the horses.
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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ferociously
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| 野蛮地，残忍地 | |
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flinch
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| v.畏缩，退缩 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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stumped
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| 僵直地行走，跺步行走( stump的过去式和过去分词 )； 把（某人）难住； 使为难； （选举前）在某一地区作政治性巡回演说 | |
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cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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writhe
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| vt.挣扎，痛苦地扭曲；vi.扭曲，翻腾，受苦；n.翻腾，苦恼 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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writhing
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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chubby
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| adj.丰满的，圆胖的 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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pretensions
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| 自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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flattened
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| [医]（水）平扁的，弄平的 | |
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morbidly
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| adv.病态地 | |
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droop
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| v.低垂，下垂；凋萎，萎靡 | |
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falters
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的第三人称单数 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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professes
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| 声称( profess的第三人称单数 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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owl
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| n.猫头鹰，枭 | |
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looms
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| n.织布机( loom的名词复数 )v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的第三人称单数 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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ridge
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| n.山脊；鼻梁；分水岭 | |
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imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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caned
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| vt.用苔杖打（cane的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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slate
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| n.板岩，石板，石片，石板色，候选人名单；adj.暗蓝灰色的，含板岩的；vt.用石板覆盖，痛打，提名，预订 | |
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hermit
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| n.隐士，修道者；隐居 | |
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caning
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| n.鞭打 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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custody
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| n.监护，照看，羁押，拘留 | |
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offender
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| n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者 | |
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imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
swarming
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| 密集( swarm的现在分词 )； 云集； 成群地移动； 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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48
sneak
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| vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝)；偷偷摸摸做；n.潜行；adj.暗中进行 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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pickle
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| n.腌汁，泡菜；v.腌，泡 | |
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52
recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53
ravages
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| 劫掠后的残迹，破坏的结果，毁坏后的残迹 | |
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interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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55
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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56
narrating
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| v.故事( narrate的现在分词 ) | |
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narrate
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| v.讲，叙述 | |
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58
displease
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| vt.使不高兴，惹怒；n.不悦，不满，生气 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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60
tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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63
tantalizing
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| adj.逗人的；惹弄人的；撩人的；煽情的v.逗弄，引诱，折磨( tantalize的现在分词 ) | |
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64
dispense
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| vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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68
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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69
quill
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| n.羽毛管；v.给（织物或衣服）作皱褶 | |
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70
cork
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| n.软木，软木塞 | |
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71
ginger
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| n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气 | |
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72
peppermint
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| n.薄荷，薄荷油，薄荷糖 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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76
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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77
counterfeited
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| v.仿制，造假( counterfeit的过去分词 ) | |
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accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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bruited
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| v.传播（传说或谣言）( bruit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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81
exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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82
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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83
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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84
crumbs
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| int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式 | |
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85
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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86
systematic
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| adj.有系统的，有计划的，有方法的 | |
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87
disparagement
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| n.轻视，轻蔑 | |
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88
tangible
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| adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的 | |
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89
flute
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| n.长笛；v.吹笛 | |
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insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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diffused
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| 散布的，普及的，扩散的 | |
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92
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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93
offenders
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| n.冒犯者( offender的名词复数 )；犯规者；罪犯；妨害…的人（或事物） | |
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94
favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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95
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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96
wig
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| n.假发 | |
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97
drudgery
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| n.苦工，重活，单调乏味的工作 | |
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98
uproar
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| n.骚动，喧嚣，鼎沸 | |
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99
shuffled
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| v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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100
mimicking
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| v.（尤指为了逗乐而）模仿( mimic的现在分词 )；酷似 | |
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101
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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102
outrage
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| n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒 | |
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103
discomfited
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| v.使为难( discomfit的过去式和过去分词)；使狼狈；使挫折；挫败 | |
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104
impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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105
rigidity
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| adj.钢性，坚硬 | |
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106
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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107
condescend
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| v.俯就，屈尊；堕落，丢丑 | |
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108
evaded
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| 逃避( evade的过去式和过去分词 )； 避开； 回避； 想不出 | |
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109
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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110
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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111
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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112
swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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113
darting
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的现在分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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114
judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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115
gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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116
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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117
epithet
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| n.（用于褒贬人物等的）表述形容词，修饰语 | |
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118
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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119
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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120
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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121
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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122
apprehend
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| vt.理解，领悟，逮捕，拘捕，忧虑 | |
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123
ardently
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| adv.热心地，热烈地 | |
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124
contrition
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| n.悔罪，痛悔 | |
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125
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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126
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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127
condescended
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| 屈尊，俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 )； 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
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128
boon
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| n.恩赐，恩物，恩惠 | |
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129
harassed
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| adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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130
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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131
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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132
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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133
prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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134
lobsters
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| 龙虾( lobster的名词复数 )； 龙虾肉 | |
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135
crab
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| n.螃蟹，偏航，脾气乖戾的人，酸苹果；vi.捕蟹，偏航，发牢骚；vt.使偏航，发脾气 | |
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136
shrimps
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| n.虾，小虾( shrimp的名词复数 )；矮小的人 | |
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137
relish
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| n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味 | |
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138
lugs
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| 钎柄 | |
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139
expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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140
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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141
pebbles
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| [复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 ) | |
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142
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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143
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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144
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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145
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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146
bluff
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| v.虚张声势，用假象骗人；n.虚张声势，欺骗 | |
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147
joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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148
clench
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| vt.捏紧（拳头等），咬紧（牙齿等），紧紧握住 | |
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149
abashed
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| adj.窘迫的，尴尬的v.使羞愧，使局促，使窘迫( abash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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150
enchantment
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| n.迷惑，妖术，魅力 | |
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151
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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152
inborn
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| adj.天生的，生来的，先天的 | |
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153
vociferously
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| adv.喊叫地，吵闹地 | |
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154
chuckling
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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155
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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156
snail
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| n.蜗牛 | |
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157
allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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158
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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159
heartiest
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| 亲切的( hearty的最高级 )； 热诚的； 健壮的； 精神饱满的 | |
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160
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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161
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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162
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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163
testament
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| n.遗嘱；证明 | |
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164
jumble
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| vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆 | |
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165
strife
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| n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争 | |
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166
waning
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| adj.（月亮）渐亏的，逐渐减弱或变小的n.月亏v.衰落( wane的现在分词 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡 | |
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167
slates
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| （旧时学生用以写字的）石板( slate的名词复数 )； 板岩； 石板瓦； 石板色 | |
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168
stationary
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| adj.固定的，静止不动的 | |
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169
speck
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| n.微粒，小污点，小斑点 | |
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170
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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171
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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