Vronsky had several times already, though not so resolutely2 as now, tried to bring her to consider their position, and every time he had been confronted by the same superficiality and triviality with which she met his appeal now. It was as though there were something in this which she could not or would not face, as though directly she began to speak of this, she, the real Anna, retreated somehow into herself, and another strange and unaccountable woman came out, whom he did not love, and whom he feared, and who was in opposition3 to him. But today he was resolved to have it out.
"Whether he knows or not," said Vronsky, in his usual quiet and resolute1 tone, "that's nothing to do with us. We cannot...you cannot stay like this, especially now."
"What's to be done, according to you?" she asked with the same frivolous4 irony5. She who had so feared he would take her condition too lightly was now vexed6 with him for deducing from it the necessity of taking some step.
"Tell him everything, and leave him."
"Very well, let us suppose I do that," she said. "Do you know what the result of that would be? I can tell you it all beforehand," and a wicked light gleamed in her eyes, that had been so soft a minute before. "'Eh, you love another man, and have entered into criminal intrigues7 with him?'" (Mimicking her husband, she threw an emphasis on the word "criminal," as Alexey Alexandrovitch did.) " 'I warned you of the results in the religious, the civil, and the domestic relation. You have not listened to me. Now In cannot let you disgrace my name,--'" "and my son," she had meant to say, but about her son she could not jest,--"'disgrace my name, and'--and more in the same style," she added. "In general terms, he'll say in his official manner, and with all distinctness and precision, that he cannot let me go, but will take all measures in his power to prevent scandal. And he will calmly and punctually act in accordance with his words. That's what will happen. He's not a man, but a machine, and a spiteful machine when he's angry," she added, recalling Alexey Alexandrovitch as she spoke8, with all the peculiarities9 of his figure and manner of speaking, and reckoning against him every defect she could find in him, softening10 nothing for the great wrong she herself was doing him.
"But, Anna," said Vronsky, in a soft and persuasive11 voice, trying to soothe12 her, "we absolutely must, anyway, tell him, and then be guided by the line he takes."
"What, run away?"
"And why not run away? I don't see how we can keep on like this. And not for my sake--I see that you suffer."
"Yes, run away, and become your mistress," she said angrily.
"Anna," he said, with reproachful tenderness.
"Yes," she went on, "become your mistress, and complete the ruin of..."
Again she would have said "my son," but she could not utter that word.
Vronsky could not understand how she, with her strong and truthful13 nature, could endure this state of deceit, and not long to get out of it. But he did not suspect that the chief cause of it was the word--son, which she could not bring herself to pronounce. When she thought of her son, and his future attitude to his mother, who had abandoned his father, she felt such terror at what she had done, that she could not face it; but, like a woman, could only try to comfort herself with lying assurances that everything would remain as it always had been, and that it was possible to forget the fearful question of how it would be with her son.
"I beg you, I entreat14 you," she said suddenly, taking his hand, and speaking in quite a different tone, sincere and tender, "never speak to me of that!"
"But, Anna..."
"Never. Leave it to me. I know all the baseness, all the horror of my position; but it's not so easy to arrange as you think. And leave it to me, and do what I say. Never speak to me of it. Do you promise me?...No, no, promise!..."
"I promise everything, but I can't be at peace, especially after what you have told me. I can't be at peace, when you can't be at peace...."
"I?" she repeated. "Yes, I am worried sometimes; but that will pass, if you will never talk about this. When you talk about it--it's only then it worries me."
"I don't understand," he said.
"I know," she interrupted him, "how hard it is for your truthful nature to lie, and I grieve for you. I often think that you have ruined your whole life for me."
"I was just thinking the very same thing," he said; "how could you sacrifice everything for my sake? I can't forgive myself that you're unhappy!"
"I unhappy?" she said, coming closer to him, and looking at him with an ecstatic smile of love. "I am like a hungry man who has been given food. He may be cold, and dressed in rags, and ashamed, but he is not unhappy. I unhappy? No, this is my unhappiness...."
She could hear the sound of her son's voice coming towards them, and glancing swiftly round the terrace, she got up impulsively15. Her eyes glowed with the fire he knew so well; with a rapid movement she raised her lovely hands, covered with rings, took his head, looked a long look into his face, and, putting up her face with smiling, parted lips, swiftly kissed his mouth and both eyes, and pushed him away. She would have gone, but he held her back.
"When?" he murmured in a whisper, gazing in ecstasy16 at her.
"Tonight, at one o'clock," she whispered, and, with a heavy sigh, she walked with her light, swift step to meet her son.
Seryozha had been caught by the rain in the big garden, and he and his nurse had taken shelter in an arbor17.
"Well, au revoir," she said to Vronsky. "I must soon be getting ready for the races. Betsy promised to fetch me."
Vronsky, looking at his watch, went away hurriedly.
收听单词发音 |
1
resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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7
intrigues
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| n.密谋策划( intrigue的名词复数 )；神秘气氛；引人入胜的复杂情节v.搞阴谋诡计( intrigue的第三人称单数 )；激起…的好奇心 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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softening
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| 变软，软化 | |
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persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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13
truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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entreat
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| v.恳求，恳请 | |
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impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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arbor
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| n.凉亭；树木 | |
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