The princess sat in her armchair, silent and smiling; the prince sat down beside her. Kitty stood by her father's chair, still holding his hand. All were silent.
The princess was the first to put everything into words, and to translate all thoughts and feelings into practical questions. And all equally felt this strange and painful for the first minute.
"When is it to be? We must have the benediction1 and announcement. And when's the wedding to be? What do you think, Alexander?"
"Here he is," said the old prince, pointing to Levin--"he's the principal person in the matter."
"When?" said Levin blushing. "Tomorrow; If you ask me, I should say, the benediction today and the wedding tomorrow."
"Come, mon cher, that's nonsense!"
"Well, in a week."
"He's quite mad."
"No, why so?"
"Well, upon my word!" said the mother, smiling, delighted at this haste. "How about the trousseau?"
"Will there really be a trousseau and all that?" Levin thought with horror. "But can the trousseau and the benediction and all that--can it spoil my happiness? Nothing can spoil it!" He glanced at Kitty, and noticed that she was not in the least, not in the very least, disturbed by the idea of the trousseau. "Then it must be all right," he thought.
"Oh, I know nothing about it; I only said what I should like," he said apologetically.
"We'll talk it over, then. The benediction and announcement can take place now. That's very well."
The princess went up to her husband, kissed him, and would have gone away, but he kept her, embraced her, and tenderly as a young lover, kissed her several times, smiling. The old people were obviously muddled2 for a moment, and did not quite know whether it was they who were in love again or their daughter. When the prince and the princess had gone, Levin went up to his betrothed3 and took her hand. He was self-possessed now and could speak, and he had a great deal he wanted to tell her. But he said not at all what he had to say.
"How I knew it would be so! I never hoped for it; and yet in my heart I was always sure," he said. "I believe that it was ordained4."
"And I!" she said. "Even when...." She stopped and went on again, looking at him resolutely5 with her truthful6 eyes, "Even when I thrust from me my happiness. I always loved you alone, but I was carried away. I ought to tell you.... Can you forgive that?"
"Perhaps it was for the best. You will have to forgive me so much. I ought to tell you..."
This was one of the things he had meant to speak about. He had resolved from the first to tell her two things--that he was not chaste7 as she was, and that he was not a believer. It was agonizing8, but he considered he ought to tell her both these facts.
"No, not now, later!" he said.
"Very well, later, but you must certainly tell me. I'm not afraid of anything. I want to know everything. Now it is settled."
He added: "Settled that you'll take me whatever I may be--you won't give me up? Yes?"
"Yes, yes."
Their conversation was interrupted by Mademoiselle Linon, who with an affected9 but tender smile came to congratulate her favorite pupil. Before she had gone, the servants came in with their congratulations. Then relations arrived, and there began that state of blissful absurdity10 from which Levin did not emerge till the day after his wedding. Levin was in a continual state of awkwardness and discomfort11, but the intensity12 of his happiness went on all the while increasing. He felt continually that a great deal was being expected of him--what, he did not know; and he did everything he was told, and it all gave him happiness. He had thought his engagement would have nothing about it like others, that the ordinary conditions of engaged couples would spoil his special happiness; but it ended in his doing exactly as other people did, and his happiness being only increased thereby13 and becoming more and more special, more and more unlike anything that had ever happened.
"Now we shall have sweetmeats to eat," said Mademoiselle Linon-- and Levin drove off to buy sweetmeats.
"Well, I'm very glad," said Sviazhsky. "I advise you to get the bouquets14 from Fomin's."
"Oh, are they wanted?" And he drove to Fomin's.
His brother offered to lend him money, as he would have so many expenses, presents to give....
"Oh, are presents wanted?" And he galloped15 to Foulde's.
And at the confectioner's, and at Fomin's, and at Foulde's he saw that he was expected; that they were pleased to see him, and prided themselves on his happiness, just as every one whom he had to do with during those days. What was extraordinary was that everyone not only liked him, but even people previously16 unsympathetic, cold, and callous17, were enthusiastic over him, gave way to him in everything, treated his feeling with tenderness and delicacy18, and shared his conviction that he was the happiest man in the world because his betrothed was beyond perfection. Kitty too felt the same thing. When Countess Nordston ventured to hint that she had hoped for something better, Kitty was so angry and proved so conclusively19 that nothing in the world could be better than Levin, that Countess Nordston had to admit it, and in Kitty's presence never met Levin without a smile of ecstatic admiration20.
The confession21 he had promised was the one painful incident of this time. He consulted the old prince, and with his sanction gave Kitty his diary, in which there was written the confession that tortured him. He had written this diary at the time with a view to his future wife. Two things caused him anguish22: his lack of purity and his lack of faith. His confession of unbelief passed unnoticed. She was religious, had never doubted the truths of religion, but his external unbelief did not affect her in the least. Through love she knew all his soul, and in his soul she saw what she wanted, and that such a state of soul should be called unbelieving was to her a matter of no account. The other confession set her weeping bitterly.
Levin, not without an inner struggle, handed her his diary. He knew that between him and her there could not be, and should not be, secrets, and so he had decided23 that so it must be. But he had not realized what an effect it would have on her, he had not put himself in her place. It was only when the same evening he came to their house before the theater, went into her room and saw her tear-stained, pitiful, sweet face, miserable24 with suffering he had caused and nothing could undo25, he felt the abyss that separated his shameful26 past from her dovelike purity, and was appalled27 at what he had done.
"Take them, take these dreadful books!" she said, pushing away the notebooks lying before her on the table. "Why did you give them me? No, it was better anyway," she added, touched by his despairing face. "But it's awful, awful!"
His head sank, and he was silent. He could say nothing.
"You can't forgive me," he whispered.
"Yes, I forgive you; but it's terrible!"
But his happiness was so immense that this confession did not shatter it, it only added another shade to it. She forgave him; but from that time more than ever he considered himself unworthy of her, morally bowed down lower than ever before her, and prized more highly than ever his undeserved happiness.
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1
benediction
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| n.祝福；恩赐 | |
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muddled
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| adj.混乱的；糊涂的；头脑昏昏然的v.弄乱，弄糟( muddle的过去式)；使糊涂；对付，混日子 | |
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betrothed
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| n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词 | |
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ordained
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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7
chaste
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| adj.贞洁的；有道德的；善良的；简朴的 | |
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agonizing
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| adj.痛苦难忍的；使人苦恼的v.使极度痛苦；折磨(agonize的ing形式) | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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bouquets
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| n.花束( bouquet的名词复数 )；（酒的）芳香 | |
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galloped
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| （使马）飞奔，奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 )； 快速做[说]某事 | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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callous
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| adj.无情的，冷淡的，硬结的，起老茧的 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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conclusively
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| adv.令人信服地，确凿地 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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21
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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22
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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23
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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24
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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25
undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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appalled
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| v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的 | |
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