Varenka, with her white kerchief on her black hair, surrounded by the children, gaily1 and good-humoredly looking after them, and at the same time visibly excited at the possibility of receiving a declaration from the man she cared for, was very attractive. Sergey Ivanovitch walked beside her, and never left off admiring her. Looking at her, he recalled all the delightful2 things he had heard from her lips, all the good he knew about her, and became more and more conscious that the feeling he had for her was something special that he had felt long, long ago, and only once, in his early youth. The feeling of happiness in being near her continually grew, and at last reached such a point that, as he put a huge, slender-stalked agaric fungus3 in her basket, he looked straight into her face, and noticing the flush of glad and alarmed excitement that overspread her face, he was confused himself, and smiled to her in silence a smile that said too much.
"If so," he said to himself, "I ought to think it over and make up my mind, and not give way like a boy to the impulse of a moment."
"I'm going to pick by myself apart from all the rest, or else my efforts will make no show," he said, and he left the edge of the forest where they were walking on low silky grass between old birch trees standing4 far apart, and went more into the heart of the wood, where between the white birch trunks there were gray trunks of aspen and dark bushes of hazel. Walking some forty paces away, Sergey Ivanovitch, knowing he was out of sight, stood still behind a bushy spindle-tree in full flower with its rosy5 red catkins. It was perfectly6 still all round him. Only overhead in the birches under which he stood, the flies, like a swarm7 of bees, buzzed unceasingly, and from time to time the children's voices were floated across to him. All at once he heard, not far from the edge of the wood, the sound of Varenka's contralto voice, calling Grisha, and a smile of delight passed over Sergey Ivanovitch's face. Conscious of this smile, he shook his head disapprovingly8 at his own condition, and taking out a cigar, he began lighting9 it. For a long while he could not get a match to light against the trunk of a birch tree. The soft scales of the white bark rubbed off the phosphorus, and the light went out. At last one of the matches burned, and the fragrant10 cigar smoke, hovering11 uncertainly in flat, wide coils, stretched away forwards and upwards12 over a bush under the overhanging branches of a birch tree. Watching the streak13 of smoke, Sergey Ivanovitch walked gently on, deliberating on his position.
"Why not?" he thought. "If it were only a passing fancy or a passion, if it were only this attraction--this mutual14 attraction (I can call it a MUTUAL attraction), but if I felt that it was in contradiction with the whole bent15 of my life--if I felt that in giving way to this attraction I should be false to my vocation16 and my duty...but it's not so. The only thing I can say against it is that, when I lost Marie, I said to myself that I would remain faithful to her memory. That's the only thing I can say against my feeling.... That's a great thing," Sergey Ivanovitch said to himself, feeling at the same time that this consideration had not the slightest importance for him personally, but would only perhaps detract from his romantic character in the eyes of others. "But apart from that, however much I searched, I should never find anything to say against my feeling. If I were choosing by considerations of suitability alone, I could not have found anything better."
However many women and girls he thought of whom he knew, he could not think of a girl who united to such a degree all, positively17 all, the qualities he would wish to see in his wife. She had all the charm and freshness of youth, but she was not a child; and if she loved him, she loved him consciously as a woman ought to love; that was one thing. Another point: she was not only far from being worldly, but had an unmistakable distaste for worldly society, and at the same time she knew the world, and had all the ways of a woman of the best society, which were absolutely essential to Sergey Ivanovitch's conception of the woman who was to share his life. Thirdly: she was religious, and not like a child, unconsciously religious and good, as Kitty, for example, was, but her life was founded on religious principles. Even in trifling18 matters, Sergey Ivanovitch found in her all that he wanted in his wife: she was poor and alone in the world, so she would not bring with her a mass of relations and their influence into her husband's house, as he saw now in Kitty's case. She would owe everything to her husband, which was what he had always desired too for his future family life. And this girl, who united all these qualities, loved him. He was a modest man, but he could not help seeing it. And he loved her. There was one consideration against it--his age. But he came of a long-lived family, he had not a single gray hair, no one would have taken him for forty, and he remembered Varenka's saying that it was only in Russia that men of fifty thought themselves old, and that in France a man of fifty considers himself dans la force de l'age, while a man of forty is un jeune homme. But what did the mere19 reckoning of years matter when he felt as young in heart as he had been twenty years ago? Was it not youth to feel as he felt now, when coming from the other side to the edge of the wood he saw in the glowing light of the slanting20 sunbeams the gracious figure of Varenka in her yellow gown with her basket, walking lightly by the trunk of an old birch tree, and when this impression of the sight of Varenka blended so harmoniously21 with the beauty of the view, of the yellow oatfield lying bathed in the slanting sunshine, and beyond it the distant ancient forest flecked with yellow and melting into the blue of the distance? His heart throbbed22 joyously23. A softened24 feeling came over him. He felt that he had made up his mind. Varenka, who had just crouched25 down to pick a mushroom, rose with a supple26 movement and looked round. Flinging away the cigar, Sergey Ivanovitch advanced with resolute27 steps towards her.
1 gaily | |
adv.欢乐地,高兴地 | |
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2 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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3 fungus | |
n.真菌,真菌类植物 | |
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4 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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5 rosy | |
adj.美好的,乐观的,玫瑰色的 | |
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6 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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7 swarm | |
n.(昆虫)等一大群;vi.成群飞舞;蜂拥而入 | |
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8 disapprovingly | |
adv.不以为然地,不赞成地,非难地 | |
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9 lighting | |
n.照明,光线的明暗,舞台灯光 | |
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10 fragrant | |
adj.芬香的,馥郁的,愉快的 | |
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11 hovering | |
鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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12 upwards | |
adv.向上,在更高处...以上 | |
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13 streak | |
n.条理,斑纹,倾向,少许,痕迹;v.加条纹,变成条纹,奔驰,快速移动 | |
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14 mutual | |
adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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15 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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16 vocation | |
n.职业,行业 | |
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17 positively | |
adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实 | |
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18 trifling | |
adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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19 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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20 slanting | |
倾斜的,歪斜的 | |
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21 harmoniously | |
和谐地,调和地 | |
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22 throbbed | |
抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 ); (心脏、脉搏等)跳动 | |
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23 joyously | |
ad.快乐地, 高兴地 | |
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24 softened | |
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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25 crouched | |
v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26 supple | |
adj.柔软的,易弯的,逢迎的,顺从的,灵活的;vt.使柔软,使柔顺,使顺从;vi.变柔软,变柔顺 | |
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27 resolute | |
adj.坚决的,果敢的 | |
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