Chapter 1

New year's resolution

I Will Not

Drink more than fourteen alcohol units a week.

Smoke.

Waste money on: pasta-makers, ice-cream machines or other culinary devices which will never use; books by unreadable literary authors to put impressively on shelves; exotic underwear, since pointless as have no boyfriend.

Behave sluttishly around the house, but instead imagine others are watching.

Spend more than earn.

Allow in-tray to rage out of control.

Fall for any of following: alcoholics¹, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists², megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts³.

Get annoyed with Mum, Una Alconbury or Perpetua.

Get upset over men, but instead be poised⁵ and cool ice-queen.

Have crushes on men, but instead from relationships based on mature assessment⁶ of character.

Bitch about anyone behind their backs, but be positive about everyone.

Obsess⁷ about Daniel Cleaver⁸ as pathetic to have a crush on boss in manner of Miss Moneypenny or similar.

Sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise⁴ and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.

I Will

Stop smoking.

Drink no more than fourteen alcohol units a week.

Reduce circumference⁹ of thights by 3 inches (i.e. 11/2 inches each), using anti-cellulite diet.

Purge¹⁰ flat of all extraneous¹¹ matter.

Give all clothes which have not worn for two years or more to homeless.

Improve career and find new job with potential.

Save up money in front of savings¹². Poss start pension also.

Be more confident.

Be more assertive¹³.

Make better use of time.

Not go out every night but stay in and read books and listen to dassical music.

Give proportion of earnings¹⁴ to charity.

Be kinder and help others more.

Eat more pulses.

Get up straight away when wake up in mornings.

Go to gym three times a week not merely to buy sandwich.

Put photographs in photograph albums.

Make up compilation¹⁵ ‘mood’ tapes so can have tapes ready with all favourite romantic/dancing/rousing/feminist etc. tracks assembled instead of turning into drink – sodden¹⁶ DJ – style person with tapes scattered¹⁷ all over floor.

Form functional¹⁸ relationship with responsible adult.

Learn to programme video.

1 Alcoholics   

n.嗜酒者，酒鬼( alcoholic的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Many alcoholics go on drinking sprees that continue for days at a time. 许多酒鬼一次要狂饮好几天。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Do you have a copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous book? 你手上有戒酒匿名会的书吗？ 来自互联网

2 misogynists   

n.厌恶女人的人( misogynist的名词复数 )

参考例句：

3 perverts   

n.性变态者( pervert的名词复数 )v.滥用( pervert的第三人称单数 )；腐蚀；败坏；使堕落

参考例句：

• A clever criminal perverts his talents. 一个聪明的犯罪者误用了他的才智。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Not all fondlers are sexual perverts. 并非所有的骚扰者都是性变态。 来自互联网

4 poise   

vt./vi. 平衡，保持平衡；n.泰然自若，自信

参考例句：

• She hesitated briefly but quickly regained her poise.她犹豫片刻，但很快恢复了镇静。
• Ballet classes are important for poise and grace.芭蕾课对培养优雅的姿仪非常重要。

5 poised   

a.摆好姿势不动的

参考例句：

• The hawk poised in mid-air ready to swoop. 老鹰在半空中盘旋，准备俯冲。
• Tina was tense, her hand poised over the telephone. 蒂娜心情紧张，手悬在电话机上。

6 assessment   

n.评价；评估；对财产的估价，被估定的金额

参考例句：

• This is a very perceptive assessment of the situation.这是一个对该情况的极富洞察力的评价。
• What is your assessment of the situation?你对时局的看法如何？

7 obsess   

vt.使着迷，使心神不定，（恶魔）困扰

参考例句：

• I must admit that maps obsess me.我得承认我对地图十分着迷。
• A string of scandals is obsessing America.美国正被一系列丑闻所困扰。

8 cleaver   

n.切肉刀

参考例句：

• In fact,a cleaver is a class of ax.实际上，切肉刀也是斧子的一种。
• The cleaver is ground to a very sharp edge.刀磨得飞快。

9 circumference   

n.圆周，周长，圆周线

参考例句：

• It's a mile round the circumference of the field.运动场周长一英里。
• The diameter and the circumference of a circle correlate.圆的直径与圆周有相互关系。

10 purge   

n.整肃，清除，泻药，净化；vt.净化，清除，摆脱；vi.清除，通便，腹泻，变得清洁

参考例句：

• The new president carried out a purge of disloyal army officers.新总统对不忠诚的军官进行了清洗。
• The mayoral candidate has promised to purge the police department.市长候选人答应清洗警察部门。

11 extraneous   

adj.体外的；外来的；外部的

参考例句：

• I can choose to ignore these extraneous thoughts.我可以选择无视这些外来的想法。
• Reductant from an extraneous source is introduced.外来的还原剂被引进来。

12 savings   

n.存款，储蓄

参考例句：

• I can't afford the vacation,for it would eat up my savings.我度不起假，那样会把我的积蓄用光的。
• By this time he had used up all his savings.到这时，他的存款已全部用完。

13 assertive   

adj.果断的，自信的，有冲劲的

参考例句：

• She always speaks an assertive tone.她总是以果断的语气说话。
• China appears to have become more assertive in the waters off its coastline over recent years.在近些年，中国显示出对远方海洋的自信。

14 earnings   

n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得

参考例句：

• That old man lives on the earnings of his daughter.那个老人靠他女儿的收入维持生活。
• Last year there was a 20% decrease in his earnings.去年他的收入减少了20%。

15 compilation   

n.编译，编辑

参考例句：

• One of the first steps taken was the compilation of a report.首先采取的步骤之一是写一份报告。
• The compilation of such diagrams,is of lasting value for astronomy.绘制这样的图对天文学有永恒的价值。

16 sodden   

adj.浑身湿透的；v.使浸透；使呆头呆脑

参考例句：

• We stripped off our sodden clothes.我们扒下了湿透的衣服。
• The cardboard was sodden and fell apart in his hands.纸板潮得都发酥了，手一捏就碎。

17 scattered   

adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的

参考例句：

• Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来，塞进文件夹里。

18 functional   

adj.为实用而设计的，具备功能的，起作用的

参考例句：

• The telephone was out of order,but is functional now.电话刚才坏了，但现在可以用了。
• The furniture is not fancy,just functional.这些家具不是摆着好看的，只是为了实用。