—Native Proverb.
Once upon a time some people in India made a new heaven and a new earth out of broken teacups, a missing brooch or two, and a hair brush. These were hidden under bushes, or stuffed into holes in the hillside, and an entire civil service of subordinate gods used to find or mend them again; and everyone said: "There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in our philosophy." Several other things happened also, but the religion never seemed to get much beyond its first manifestations2; though it added an air-line postal3 dak, and orchestral effects in order to keep abreast4 of the times, and stall off competition.
This religion was too elastic5 for ordinary use. It stretched itself and embraced pieces of everything that medicine men of all ages have manufactured. It approved and stole from Freemasonry; looted the Latter-day Rosicrucians of half their pet words; took any fragments of Egyptian philosophy that it found in the Encyclop?dia Britannica; annexed6 as many of the Vedas as had been translated into French or English, and talked of all the rest; built in the German versions of what is left of the Zend Avesta; encouraged white, gray, and black magic, including Spiritualism, palmistry, fortune-telling by cards, hot chestnuts7, double-kerneled nuts and tallow droppings; would have adopted Voodoo and Oboe had it known anything about them, and showed itself, in every way, one of the most accommodating arrangements that had ever been invented since the birth of the sea.
When it was in thorough working order, with all the machinery8 down to the subscriptions9 complete, Dana Da came from nowhere, with nothing in his hands, and wrote a chapter in its history which has hitherto been unpublished. He said that his first name was Dana, and his second was Da. Now, setting aside Dana of the New York Sun, Dana is a Bhil name, and Da fits no native of India unless you accept the Bengali Dé as the original spelling. Da is Lap or Finnish; and Dana Da was neither Finn, Chin, Bhil, Bengali, Lap, Nair, Gond, Romaney, Magh, Bokhariot, Kurd, Armenian, Levantine, Jew, Persian, Punjabi, Madrasi, Parsee, nor anything else known to ethnologists. He was simply Dana Da, and declined to give further information. For the sake of brevity, and as roughly indicating his origin, he was called "The Native." He might have been the original Old Man of the Mountains, who is said to be the only authorized10 head of the Teacup Creed11. Some people said that he was; but Dana Da used to smile and deny any connection with the cult12; explaining that he was an "independent experimenter."
As I have said, he came from nowhere, with his hands behind his back, and studied the creed for three weeks; sitting at the feet of those best competent to explain its mysteries. Then he laughed aloud and went away, but the laugh might have been either of devotion or derision.
When he returned he was without money, but his pride was unabated. He declared that he knew more about the things in heaven and earth than those who taught him, and for this contumacy was abandoned altogether.
His next appearance in public life was at a big cantonment in Upper India, and he was then telling fortunes with the help of three leaden dice13, a very dirty old cloth, and a little tin box of opium14 pills. He told better fortunes when he was allowed half a bottle of whisky; but the things which he invented on the opium were quite worth the money. He was in reduced circumstances. Among other people's he told the fortune of an Englishman who had once been interested in the Simla creed, but who, later on, had married and forgotten all his old knowledge in the study of babies and Exchange. The Englishman allowed Dana Da to tell a fortune for charity's sake, and, gave him five rupees, a dinner, and some old clothes. When he had eaten, Dana Da professed15 gratitude16, and asked if there were anything he could do for his host—in the esoteric line.
"Is there anyone that you love?" said Dana Da. The Englishman loved his wife, but had no desire to drag her name into the conversation. He therefore shook his head.
"Is there anyone that you hate?" said Dana Da. The Englishman said that there were several men whom he hated deeply.
"Very good," said Dana Da, upon whom the whisky and the opium were beginning to tell. "Only give me their names, and I will dispatch a Sending to them and kill them."
Now a Sending is a horrible arrangement, first invented, they say, in Iceland. It is a thing sent by a wizard, and may take any form, but most generally wanders about the land in the shape of a little purple cloud till it finds the sendee, and him it kills by changing into the form of a horse, or a cat, or a man without a face. It is not strictly17 a native patent, though chamars can, if irritated, dispatch a Sending which sits on the breast of their enemy by night and nearly kills him. Very few natives care to irritate chamars for this reason.
"Let me dispatch a Sending," said Dana Da; "I am nearly dead now with want, and drink, and opium; but I should like to kill a man before I die. I can send a Sending anywhere you choose, and in any form except in the shape of a man."
The Englishman had no friends that he wished to kill, but partly to soothe18 Dana Da, whose eyes were rolling, and partly to see what would be done, he asked whether a modified Sending could not be arranged for—such a Sending as should make a man's life a burden to him, and yet do him no harm. If this were possible, he notified his willingness to give Dana Da ten rupees for the job.
"I am not what I was once," said Dana Da, "and I must take the money because I am poor. To what Englishman shall I send it?"
"Send a Sending to Lone19 Sahib," said the Englishman, naming a man who had been most bitter in rebuking20 him for his apostasy21 from the Teacup Creed. Dana Da laughed and nodded.
"I could have chosen no better man myself," said he. "I will see that he finds the Sending about his path and about his bed."
He lay down on the hearthrug, turned up the whites of his eyes, shivered all over, and began to snort. This was magic, or opium, or the Sending, or all three. When he opened his eyes he vowed22 that the Sending had started upon the warpath, and was at that moment flying up to the town where Lone Sahib lives.
"Give me my ten rupees," said Dana Da, wearily, "and write a letter to Lone Sahib, telling him, and all who believe with him, that you and a friend are using a power greater than theirs. They will see that you are speaking the truth."
He departed unsteadily, with the promise of some more rupees if anything came of the Sending.
The Englishman sent a letter to Lone Sahib, couched in what he remembered of the terminology23 of the creed. He wrote: "I also, in the days of what you held to be my backsliding, have obtained enlightenment, and with enlightenment has come power." Then he grew so deeply mysterious that the recipient24 of the letter could make neither head nor tail of it, and was proportionately impressed; for he fancied that his friend had become a "fifth rounder." When a man is a "fifth rounder" he can do more than Slade and Houdin combined.
Lone Sahib read the letter in five different fashions, and was beginning a sixth interpretation25, when his bearer dashed in with the news that there was a cat on the bed. Now, if there was one thing that Lone Sahib hated more than another it was a cat. He rated the bearer for not turning it out of the house. The bearer said that he was afraid. All the doors of the bedroom had been shut throughout the morning, and no real cat could possibly have entered the room. He would prefer not to meddle26 with the creature.
Lone Sahib entered the room gingerly, and there, on the pillow of his bed, sprawled27 and whimpered a wee white kitten, not a jumpsome, frisky28 little beast, but a sluglike crawler with its eyes barely opened and its paws lacking strength or direction—a kitten that ought to have been in a basket with its mamma. Lone Sahib caught it by the scruff of its neck, handed it over to the sweeper to be drowned, and fined the bearer four annas.
That evening, as he was reading in his room, he fancied that he saw something moving about on the hearthrug, outside the circle of light from his reading lamp. When the thing began to myowl, he realized that it was a kitten—a wee white kitten, nearly blind and very miserable29. He was seriously angry, and spoke30 bitterly to his bearer, who said that there was no kitten in the room when he brought in the lamp, and real kittens of tender age generally had mother cats in attendance.
"If the Presence will go out into the veranda31 and listen," said the bearer, "he will hear no cats. How, therefore, can the kitten on the bed and the kitten on the hearthrug be real kittens?"
Lone Sahib went out to listen, and the bearer followed him, but there was no sound of Rachel mewing for her children. He returned to his room, having hurled32 the kitten down the hillside, and wrote out the incidents of the day for the benefit of his coreligionists. Those people were so absolutely free from superstition33 that they ascribed anything a little out of the common to agencies. As it was their business to know all about the agencies, they were on terms of almost indecent familiarity with manifestations of every kind. Their letters dropped from the ceiling—unstamped—and spirits used to squatter34 up and down their staircases all night. But they had never come into contact with kittens. Lone Sahib wrote out the facts, noting the hour and the minute, as every psychical36 observer is bound to do, and appending the Englishman's letter because it was the most mysterious document and might have had a bearing upon anything in this world or the next. An outsider would have translated all the tangle37 thus: "Look out! You laughed at me once, and now I am going to make you sit up."
Lone Sahib's coreligionists found that meaning in it; but their translation was refined and full of four-syllable words. They held a sederunt, and were filled with tremulous joy, for, in spite of their familiarity with all the other worlds and cycles, they had a very human awe38 of things sent from ghostland. They met in Lone Sahib's room in shrouded39 and sepulchral40 gloom, and their conclave41 was broken up by a clinking among the photo frames on the mantelpiece. A wee white kitten, nearly blind, was looping and writhing42 itself between the clock and the candlesticks. That stopped all investigations43 or doubtings. Here was the manifestation1 in the flesh. It was, so far as could be seen, devoid44 of purpose, but it was a manifestation of undoubted authenticity45.
They drafted a round robin46 to the Englishman, the backslider of old days, adjuring47 him in the interests of the creed to explain whether there was any connection between the embodiment of some Egyptian god or other (I have forgotten the name) and his communication. They called the kitten Ra, or Toth, or Shem, or Noah, or something; and when Lone Sahib confessed that the first one had, at his most misguided instance, been drowned by the sweeper, they said consolingly that in his next life he would be a "bounder," and not even a "rounder" of the lowest grade. These words may not be quite correct, but they express the sense of the house accurately48.
When the Englishman received the round robin—it came by post—he was startled and bewildered. He sent into the bazaar49 for Dana Da, who read the letter and laughed. "That is my Sending," said he. "I told you I would work well. Now give me another ten rupees."
"But what in the world is this gibberish about Egyptian gods?" asked the Englishman.
"Cats," said Dana Da, with a hiccough, for he had discovered the Englishman's whisky bottle. "Cats and cats and cats! Never was such a Sending. A hundred of cats. Now give me ten more rupees and write as I dictate50."
Dana Da's letter was a curiosity. It bore the Englishman's signature, and hinted at cats—at a Sending of cats. The mere51 words on paper were creepy and uncanny to behold52.
"What have you done, though?" said the Englishman; "I am as much in the dark as ever. Do you mean to say that you can actually send this absurd Sending you talk about?"
"Judge for yourself," said Dana Da. "What does that letter mean? In a little time they will all be at my feet and yours, and I, oh, glory! will be drugged or drunk all day long."
Dana Da knew his people.
When a man who hates cats wakes up in the morning and finds a little squirming kitten on his breast, or puts his hand into his ulster pocket and finds a little half-dead kitten where his gloves should be, or opens his trunk and finds a vile53 kitten among his dress shirts, or goes for a long ride with his mackintosh strapped54 on his saddle-bow and shakes a little sprawling55 kitten from its folds when he opens it, or goes out to dinner and finds a little blind kitten under his chair, or stays at home and finds a writhing kitten under the quilt, or wriggling56 among his boots, or hanging, head downward, in his tobacco jar, or being mangled57 by his terrier in the veranda—when such a man finds one kitten, neither more nor less, once a day in a place where no kitten rightly could or should be, he is naturally upset. When he dare not murder his daily trove58 because he believes it to be a manifestation, an emissary, an embodiment, and half a dozen other things all out of the regular course of nature, he is more than upset. He is actually distressed59. Some of Lone Sahib's coreligionists thought that he was a highly favored individual; but many said that if he had treated the first kitten with proper respect—as suited a Toth-Ra Tum-Sennacherib Embodiment—all his trouble would have been averted61. They compared him to the Ancient Mariner62, but none the less they were proud of him and proud of the Englishman who had sent the manifestation. They did not call it a Sending because Icelandic magic was not in their programme.
After sixteen kittens—that is to say, after one fortnight, for there were three kittens on the first day to impress the fact of the Sending, the whole camp was uplifted by a letter—it came flying through a window—from the Old Man of the Mountains—the head of all the creed—explaining the manifestation in the most beautiful language and soaking up all the credit of it for himself. The Englishman, said the letter, was not there at all. He was a backslider without power or asceticism63, who couldn't even raise a table by force of volition64, much less project an army of kittens through space. The entire arrangement, said the letter, was strictly orthodox, worked and sanctioned by the highest authorities within the pale of the creed. There was great joy at this, for some of the weaker brethren seeing that an outsider who had been working on independent lines could create kittens, whereas their own rulers had never gone beyond crockery—and broken at that—were showing a desire to break line on their own trail. In fact, there was the promise of a schism65. A second round robin was drafted to the Englishman, beginning: "Oh, Scoffer," and ending with a selection of curses from the rites66 of Mizraim and Memphis and the Commination of Jugana; who was a "fifth rounder," upon whose name an upstart "third rounder" once traded. A papal excommunication is a billet-doux compared to the Commination of Jugana. The Englishman had been proved under the hand and seal of the Old Man of the Mountains to have appropriated virtue67 and pretended to have power which, in reality, belonged only to the supreme68 head. Naturally the round robin did not spare him.
He handed the letter to Dana Da to translate into decent English. The effect on Dana Da was curious. At first he was furiously angry, and then he laughed for five minutes.
"I had thought," he said, "that they would have come to me. In another week I would have shown that I sent the Sending, and they would have discrowned the Old Man of the Mountains who has sent this Sending of mine. Do you do nothing. The time has come for me to act. Write as I dictate, and I will put them to shame. But give me ten more rupees."
At Dana Da's dictation the Englishman wrote nothing less than a formal challenge to the Old Man of the Mountains. It wound up: "And if this manifestation be from your hand, then let it go forward; but if it be from my hand, I will that the Sending shall cease in two days' time. On that day there shall be twelve kittens and thenceforward none at all. The people shall judge between us." This was signed by Dana Da, who added pentacles and pentagrams, and a crux69 ansata, and half a dozen swastikas, and a Triple Tau to his name, just to show that he was all he laid claim to be.
The challenge was read out to the gentlemen and ladies, and they remembered then that Dana Da had laughed at them some years ago. It was officially announced that the Old Man of the Mountains would treat the matter with contempt; Dana Da being an independent investigator70 without a single "round" at the back of him. But this did not soothe his people. They wanted to see a fight. They were very human for all their spirituality. Lone Sahib, who was really being worn out with kittens, submitted meekly71 to his fate. He felt that he was being "kittened to prove the power of Dana Da," as the poet says.
When the stated day dawned, the shower of kittens began. Some were white and some were tabby, and all were about the same loathsome72 age. Three were on his hearthrug, three in his bathroom, and the other six turned up at intervals73 among the visitors who came to see the prophecy break down. Never was a more satisfactory Sending. On the next day there were no kittens, and the next day and all the other days were kittenless and quiet. The people murmured and looked to the Old Man of the Mountains for an explanation. A letter, written on a palm leaf, dropped from the ceiling, but everyone except Lone Sahib felt that letters were not what the occasion demanded. There should have been cats, there should have been cats—full-grown ones. The letter proved conclusively74 that there had been a hitch75 in the psychic35 current which, colliding with a dual60 identity, had interfered76 with the percipient activity all along the main line. The kittens were still going on, but owing to some failure in the developing fluid, they were not materialized. The air was thick with letters for a few days afterwards. Unseen hands played Glück and Beethoven on finger-bowls and clock shades; but all men felt that psychic life was a mockery without materialized kittens. Even Lone Sahib shouted with the majority on this head. Dana Da's letters were very insulting, and if he had then offered to lead a new departure, there is no knowing what might not have happened.
But Dana Da was dying of whisky and opium in the Englishman's go-down, and had small heart for new creeds77.
"They have been put to shame," said he. "Never was such a Sending. It has killed me."
"Nonsense," said the Englishman, "you are going to die, Dana Da, and that sort of stuff must be left behind. I'll admit that you have made some queer things come about. Tell me honestly, now, how was it done?"
"Give me ten more rupees," said Dana Da, faintly, "and if I die before I spend them, bury them with me." The silver was counted out while Dana Da was fighting with death. His hand closed upon the money and he smiled a grim smile.
"Bend low," he whispered. The Englishman bent78.
"Bunnia—mission school—expelled—box-wallah (peddler)—Ceylon pearl merchant—all mine English education—outcasted, and made up name Dana Da—England with American thought-reading man and—and—you gave me ten rupees several times—I gave the Sahib's bearer two-eight a month for cats—little, little cats. I wrote, and he put them about—very clever man. Very few kittens now in the bazaar. Ask Lone Sahib's sweeper's wife."
So saying, Dana Da gasped79 and passed away into a land where, if all be true, there are no materializations and the making of new creeds is discouraged.
But consider the gorgeous simplicity80 of it all!
点击收听单词发音
1 manifestation | |
n.表现形式;表明;现象 | |
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2 manifestations | |
n.表示,显示(manifestation的复数形式) | |
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3 postal | |
adj.邮政的,邮局的 | |
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4 abreast | |
adv.并排地;跟上(时代)的步伐,与…并进地 | |
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5 elastic | |
n.橡皮圈,松紧带;adj.有弹性的;灵活的 | |
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6 annexed | |
[法] 附加的,附属的 | |
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7 chestnuts | |
n.栗子( chestnut的名词复数 );栗色;栗树;栗色马 | |
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8 machinery | |
n.(总称)机械,机器;机构 | |
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9 subscriptions | |
n.(报刊等的)订阅费( subscription的名词复数 );捐款;(俱乐部的)会员费;捐助 | |
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10 authorized | |
a.委任的,许可的 | |
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11 creed | |
n.信条;信念,纲领 | |
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12 cult | |
n.异教,邪教;时尚,狂热的崇拜 | |
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13 dice | |
n.骰子;vt.把(食物)切成小方块,冒险 | |
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14 opium | |
n.鸦片;adj.鸦片的 | |
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15 professed | |
公开声称的,伪称的,已立誓信教的 | |
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16 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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17 strictly | |
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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18 soothe | |
v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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19 lone | |
adj.孤寂的,单独的;唯一的 | |
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20 rebuking | |
责难或指责( rebuke的现在分词 ) | |
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21 apostasy | |
n.背教,脱党 | |
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22 vowed | |
起誓,发誓(vow的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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23 terminology | |
n.术语;专有名词 | |
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24 recipient | |
a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器 | |
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25 interpretation | |
n.解释,说明,描述;艺术处理 | |
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26 meddle | |
v.干预,干涉,插手 | |
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27 sprawled | |
v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的过去式和过去分词);蔓延;杂乱无序地拓展;四肢伸展坐着(或躺着) | |
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28 frisky | |
adj.活泼的,欢闹的;n.活泼,闹着玩;adv.活泼地,闹着玩地 | |
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29 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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30 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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31 veranda | |
n.走廊;阳台 | |
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32 hurled | |
v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 );大声叫骂 | |
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33 superstition | |
n.迷信,迷信行为 | |
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34 squatter | |
n.擅自占地者 | |
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35 psychic | |
n.对超自然力敏感的人;adj.有超自然力的 | |
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36 psychical | |
adj.有关特异功能现象的;有关特异功能官能的;灵魂的;心灵的 | |
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37 tangle | |
n.纠缠;缠结;混乱;v.(使)缠绕;变乱 | |
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38 awe | |
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧 | |
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39 shrouded | |
v.隐瞒( shroud的过去式和过去分词 );保密 | |
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40 sepulchral | |
adj.坟墓的,阴深的 | |
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41 conclave | |
n.秘密会议,红衣主教团 | |
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42 writhing | |
(因极度痛苦而)扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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43 investigations | |
(正式的)调查( investigation的名词复数 ); 侦查; 科学研究; 学术研究 | |
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44 devoid | |
adj.全无的,缺乏的 | |
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45 authenticity | |
n.真实性 | |
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46 robin | |
n.知更鸟,红襟鸟 | |
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47 adjuring | |
v.(以起誓或诅咒等形式)命令要求( adjure的现在分词 );祈求;恳求 | |
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48 accurately | |
adv.准确地,精确地 | |
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49 bazaar | |
n.集市,商店集中区 | |
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50 dictate | |
v.口授;(使)听写;指令,指示,命令 | |
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51 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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52 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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53 vile | |
adj.卑鄙的,可耻的,邪恶的;坏透的 | |
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54 strapped | |
adj.用皮带捆住的,用皮带装饰的;身无分文的;缺钱;手头紧v.用皮带捆扎(strap的过去式和过去分词);用皮带抽打;包扎;给…打绷带 | |
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55 sprawling | |
adj.蔓生的,不规则地伸展的v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的现在分词 );蔓延;杂乱无序地拓展;四肢伸展坐着(或躺着) | |
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56 wriggling | |
v.扭动,蠕动,蜿蜒行进( wriggle的现在分词 );(使身体某一部位)扭动;耍滑不做,逃避(应做的事等);蠕蠕 | |
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57 mangled | |
vt.乱砍(mangle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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58 trove | |
n.被发现的东西,收藏的东西 | |
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59 distressed | |
痛苦的 | |
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60 dual | |
adj.双的;二重的,二元的 | |
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61 averted | |
防止,避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 ); 转移 | |
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62 mariner | |
n.水手号不载人航天探测器,海员,航海者 | |
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63 asceticism | |
n.禁欲主义 | |
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64 volition | |
n.意志;决意 | |
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65 schism | |
n.分派,派系,分裂 | |
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66 rites | |
仪式,典礼( rite的名词复数 ) | |
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67 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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68 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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69 crux | |
adj.十字形;难事,关键,最重要点 | |
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70 investigator | |
n.研究者,调查者,审查者 | |
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71 meekly | |
adv.温顺地,逆来顺受地 | |
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72 loathsome | |
adj.讨厌的,令人厌恶的 | |
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73 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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74 conclusively | |
adv.令人信服地,确凿地 | |
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75 hitch | |
v.免费搭(车旅行);系住;急提;n.故障;急拉 | |
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76 interfered | |
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉 | |
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77 creeds | |
(尤指宗教)信条,教条( creed的名词复数 ) | |
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78 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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79 gasped | |
v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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80 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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