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Chapter 11 Respite
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The last volume was written in fourteen days. In this achievement Reardon rose almost to heroic pitch, for he had much to contend with beyond the mere1 labour of composition. Scarcely had he begun when a sharp attack of lumbago fell upon him; for two or three days it was torture to support himself at the desk, and he moved about like a cripple. Upon this ensued headaches, sore-throat, general enfeeblement. And before the end of the fortnight it was necessary to think of raising another small sum of money; he took his watch to the pawnbroker’s (you can imagine that it would not stand as security for much), and sold a few more books. All this notwithstanding, here was the novel at length finished. When he had written ‘The End’ he lay back, closed his eyes, and let time pass in blankness for a quarter of an hour.

It remained to determine the title. But his brain refused another effort; after a few minutes’ feeble search he simply took the name of the chief female character, Margaret Home. That must do for the book. Already, with the penning of the last word, all its scenes, personages, dialogues had slipped away into oblivion; he knew and cared nothing more about them.

‘Amy, you will have to correct the proofs for me. Never as long as I live will I look upon a page of this accursed novel. It has all but killed me.’

‘The point is,’ replied Amy, ‘that here we have it complete. Pack it up and take it to the publishers’ to-morrow morning.’

‘I will.’

‘And — you will ask them to advance you a few pounds?’

‘I must.’

But that undertaking2 was almost as hard to face as a rewriting of the last volume would have been. Reardon had such superfluity of sensitiveness that, for his own part, he would far rather have gone hungry than ask for money not legally his due. To-day there was no choice. In the ordinary course of business it would be certainly a month before he heard the publishers’ terms, and perhaps the Christmas season might cause yet more delay. Without borrowing, he could not provide for the expenses of more than another week or two.

His parcel under his arm, he entered the ground-floor office, and desired to see that member of the firm with whom he had previously3 had personal relations. This gentleman was not in town; he would be away for a few days. Reardon left the manuscript, and came out into the street again.

He crossed, and looked up at the publishers’ windows from the opposite pavement. ‘Do they suspect in what wretched circumstances I am? Would it surprise them to know all that depends upon that budget of paltry4 scribbling5? I suppose not; it must be a daily experience with them. Well, I must write a begging letter.’

It was raining and windy. He went slowly homewards, and was on the point of entering the public door of the flats when his uneasiness became so great that he turned and walked past. If he went in, he must at once write his appeal for money, and he felt that he could not. The degradation6 seemed too great.

Was there no way of getting over the next few weeks? Rent, of course, would be due at Christmas, but that payment might be postponed7; it was only a question of buying food and fuel. Amy had offered to ask her mother for a few pounds; it would be cowardly to put this task upon her now that he had promised to meet the difficulty himself. What man in all London could and would lend him money? He reviewed the list of his acquaintances, but there was only one to whom he could appeal with the slightest hope — that was Carter.

Half an hour later he entered that same hospital door through which, some years ago, he had passed as a half-starved applicant8 for work. The matron met him.

‘Is Mr Carter here?’

‘No, sir. But we expect him any minute. Will you wait?’

He entered the familiar office, and sat down. At the table where he had been wont9 to work, a young clerk was writing. If only all the events of the last few years could be undone10, and he, with no soul dependent upon him, be once more earning his pound a week in this room! What a happy man he was in those days!

Nearly half an hour passed. It is the common experience of beggars to have to wait. Then Carter came in with quick step; he wore a heavy ulster of the latest fashion, new gloves, a resplendent silk hat; his cheeks were rosy11 from the east wind.

‘Ha, Reardon! How do? how do? Delighted to see you!’

‘Are you very busy?’

‘Well, no, not particularly. A few cheques to sign, and we’re just getting out our Christmas appeals. You remember?’

He laughed gaily12. There was a remarkable13 freedom from snobbishness14 in this young man; the fact of Reardon’s intellectual superiority had long ago counteracted15 Carter’s social prejudices.

‘I should like to have a word with you.’

‘Right you are!’

They went into a small inner room. Reardon’s pulse beat at fever-rate; his tongue was cleaving16 to his palate.

‘What is it, old man?’ asked the secretary, seating himself and flinging one of his legs over the other. ‘You look rather seedy, do you know. Why the deuce don’t you and your wife look us up now and then?’

‘I’ve had a hard pull to finish my novel.’

‘Finished, is it? I’m glad to hear that. When’ll it be out? I’ll send scores of people to Mudie’s after it.

‘Thanks; but I don’t think much of it, to tell you the truth.’

‘Oh, we know what that means.’

Reardon was talking like an automaton17. It seemed to him that he turned screws and pressed levers for the utterance18 of his next words.

‘I may as well say at once what I have come for. Could you lend me ten pounds for a month — in fact, until I get the money for my book?’

The secretary’s countenance19 fell, though not to that expression of utter coldness which would have come naturally under the circumstances to a great many vivacious20 men. He seemed genuinely embarrassed.

‘By Jove! I— confound it! To tell you the truth, I haven’t ten pounds to lend. Upon my word, I haven’t, Reardon! These infernal housekeeping expenses! I don’t mind telling you, old man, that Edith and I have been pushing the pace rather.’ He laughed, and thrust his hands down into his trousers-pockets. ‘We pay such a darned rent, you know — hundred and twenty-five. We’ve only just been saying we should have to draw it mild for the rest of the winter. But I’m infernally sorry; upon my word I am.’

‘And I am sorry to have annoyed you by the unseasonable request.’

‘Devilish seasonable, Reardon, I assure you!’ cried the secretary, and roared at his joke. It put him into a better temper than ever, and he said at length: ‘I suppose a fiver wouldn’t be much use? — For a month, you say? — 1 might manage a fiver, I think.’

‘It would be very useful. But on no account if ——’

‘No, no; I could manage a fiver, for a month. Shall I give you a cheque?’

‘I’m ashamed ——’

‘Not a bit of it! I’ll go and write the cheque.’

Reardon’s face was burning. Of the conversation that followed when Carter again presented himself he never recalled a word. The bit of paper was crushed together in his hand. Out in the street again, he all but threw it away, dreaming for the moment that it was a ‘bus ticket or a patent medicine bill.

He reached home much after the dinner-hour. Amy was surprised at his long absence.

‘Got anything?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

It was half his intention to deceive her, to say that the publishers had advanced him five pounds. But that would be his first word of untruth to Amy, and why should he be guilty of it? He told her all that had happened. The result of this frankness was something that he had not anticipated; Amy exhibited profound vexation.

‘Oh, you SHOULDN’T have done that!’ she exclaimed. ‘Why didn’t you come home and tell me? I would have gone to mother at once.’

‘But does it matter?’

‘Of course it does,’ she replied sharply. ‘Mr Carter will tell his wife, and how pleasant that is?’

‘I never thought of that. And perhaps it wouldn’t have seemed to me so annoying as it does to you.’

‘Very likely not.’

She turned abruptly21 away, and stood at a distance in gloomy muteness.

‘Well,’ she said at length, ‘there’s no helping22 it now. Come and have your dinner.’

‘You have taken away my appetite.’

‘Nonsense! I suppose you’re dying of hunger.’

They had a very uncomfortable meal, exchanging few words. On Amy’s face was a look more resembling bad temper than anything Reardon had ever seen there. After dinner he went and sat alone in the study. Amy did not come near him. He grew stubbornly angry; remembering the pain he had gone through, he felt that Amy’s behaviour to him was cruel. She must come and speak when she would.

At six o’clock she showed her face in the doorway23 and asked if he would come to tea.

‘Thank you,’ he replied, ‘I had rather stay here.’

‘As you please.’

And he sat alone until about nine. It was only then he recollected24 that he must send a note to the publishers, calling their attention to the parcel he had left. He wrote it, and closed with a request that they would let him hear as soon as they conveniently could. As he was putting on his hat and coat to go out and post the letter Amy opened the dining-room door.

‘You’re going out?’

‘Yes.’

‘Shall you be long?’

‘I think not.’

He was away only a few minutes. On returning he went first of all into the study, but the thought of Amy alone in the other room would not let him rest. He looked in and saw that she was sitting without a fire.

‘You can’t stay here in the cold, Amy.’

‘I’m afraid I must get used to it,’ she replied, affecting to be closely engaged upon some sewing.

That strength of character which it had always delighted him to read in her features was become an ominous25 hardness. He felt his heart sink as he looked at her.

‘Is poverty going to have the usual result in our case?’ he asked, drawing nearer.

‘I never pretended that I could be indifferent to it.’

‘Still, don’t you care to try and resist it?’

She gave no answer. As usual in conversation with an aggrieved26 woman it was necessary to go back from the general to the particular.

‘I’m afraid,’ he said, ‘that the Carters already knew pretty well how things were going with us.’

‘That’s a very different thing. But when it comes to asking them for money — ’

‘I’m very sorry. I would rather have done anything if I had known how it would annoy you.’

‘If we have to wait a month, five pounds will be very little use to us.’

She detailed27 all manner of expenses that had to be met — outlay28 there was no possibility of avoiding so long as their life was maintained on its present basis.

‘However, you needn’t trouble any more about it. I’ll see to it. Now you are free from your book try to rest.’

‘Come and sit by the fire. There’s small chance of rest for me if we are thinking unkindly of each other.’

A doleful Christmas. Week after week went by and Reardon knew that Amy must have exhausted29 the money he had given her. But she made no more demands upon him, and necessaries were paid for in the usual way. He suffered from a sense of humiliation30; sometimes he found it difficult to look in his wife’s face.

When the publishers’ letter came it contained an offer of seventy-five pounds for the copyright of ‘Margaret Home,’ twenty-five more to be paid if the sale in three-volume form should reach a certain number of copies.

Here was failure put into unmistakable figures. Reardon said to himself that it was all over with his profession of authorship. The book could not possibly succeed even to the point of completing his hundred pounds; it would meet with universal contempt, and indeed deserved nothing better.

‘Shall you accept this?’ asked Amy, after dreary31 silence.

‘No one else would offer terms as good.’

‘Will they pay you at once?’

‘I must ask them to.’

Well, it was seventy-five pounds in hand. The cheque came as soon as it was requested, and Reardon’s face brightened for the moment. Blessed money! root of all good, until the world invent some saner32 economy.

‘How much do you owe your mother?’ he inquired, without looking at Amy.

‘Six pounds,’ she answered coldly.

‘And five to Carter; and rent, twelve pounds ten. We shall have a matter of fifty pounds to go on with.’

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
2 undertaking Mfkz7S     
n.保证,许诺,事业
参考例句:
  • He gave her an undertaking that he would pay the money back with in a year.他向她做了一年内还钱的保证。
  • He is too timid to venture upon an undertaking.他太胆小,不敢从事任何事业。
3 previously bkzzzC     
adv.以前,先前(地)
参考例句:
  • The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
  • Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿,解释原先发生了什么。
4 paltry 34Cz0     
adj.无价值的,微不足道的
参考例句:
  • The parents had little interest in paltry domestic concerns.那些家长对家里鸡毛蒜皮的小事没什么兴趣。
  • I'm getting angry;and if you don't command that paltry spirit of yours.我要生气了,如果你不能振作你那点元气。
5 scribbling 82fe3d42f37de6f101db3de98fc9e23d     
n.乱涂[写]胡[乱]写的文章[作品]v.潦草的书写( scribble的现在分词 );乱画;草草地写;匆匆记下
参考例句:
  • Once the money got into the book, all that remained were some scribbling. 折子上的钱只是几个字! 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
  • McMug loves scribbling. Mama then sent him to the Kindergarten. 麦唛很喜欢写字,妈妈看在眼里,就替他报读了幼稚园。 来自互联网
6 degradation QxKxL     
n.降级;低落;退化;陵削;降解;衰变
参考例句:
  • There are serious problems of land degradation in some arid zones.在一些干旱地带存在严重的土地退化问题。
  • Gambling is always coupled with degradation.赌博总是与堕落相联系。
7 postponed 9dc016075e0da542aaa70e9f01bf4ab1     
vt.& vi.延期,缓办,(使)延迟vt.把…放在次要地位;[语]把…放在后面(或句尾)vi.(疟疾等)延缓发作(或复发)
参考例句:
  • The trial was postponed indefinitely. 审讯无限期延迟。
  • The game has already been postponed three times. 这场比赛已经三度延期了。
8 applicant 1MlyX     
n.申请人,求职者,请求者
参考例句:
  • He was the hundredth applicant for the job. 他是第100个申请这项工作的人。
  • In my estimation, the applicant is well qualified for this job. 据我看, 这位应征者完全具备这项工作的条件。
9 wont peXzFP     
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯
参考例句:
  • He was wont to say that children are lazy.他常常说小孩子们懒惰。
  • It is his wont to get up early.早起是他的习惯。
10 undone JfJz6l     
a.未做完的,未完成的
参考例句:
  • He left nothing undone that needed attention.所有需要注意的事他都注意到了。
11 rosy kDAy9     
adj.美好的,乐观的,玫瑰色的
参考例句:
  • She got a new job and her life looks rosy.她找到一份新工作,生活看上去很美好。
  • She always takes a rosy view of life.她总是对生活持乐观态度。
12 gaily lfPzC     
adv.欢乐地,高兴地
参考例句:
  • The children sing gaily.孩子们欢唱着。
  • She waved goodbye very gaily.她欢快地挥手告别。
13 remarkable 8Vbx6     
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的
参考例句:
  • She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
  • These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。
14 snobbishness 44e90be71d39bfab1ac131bd100f59fb     
势利; 势利眼
参考例句:
  • We disdain a man for his snobbishness. 我们鄙夷势利小人。
  • Maybe you have social faults such as snobbishness, talkativeness, and, etc. which drive away new acquaintances. 也许你有社交方面的缺点,诸如势利、饶舌、出语粗俗等,使你的新相识退避三舍。
15 counteracted 73400d69af35e4420879e17c972937fb     
对抗,抵消( counteract的过去式 )
参考例句:
  • This can be counteracted only by very effective insulation. 这只能用非常有效的绝缘来防止。
  • The effect of his preaching was counteracted by the looseness of his behavior. 他讲道的效果被他放荡的生活所抵消了。
16 cleaving 10a0d7bd73d8d5ca438c5583fa0c7c22     
v.劈开,剁开,割开( cleave的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • The freighter carrying pig iron is cleaving through the water. 装着生铁的货船正在破浪前进。 来自辞典例句
  • IL-10-cDNA fragment was obtained through cleaving pUC-T-IL-10cDNA by reconstriction enzymes. 结果:pcDNA3.1-IL-10酶切鉴定的电泳结果显示,pcDNA3.1-IL-10质粒有一个560bp左右的插入片断,大小和IL-10cDNA大致符合。 来自互联网
17 automaton CPayw     
n.自动机器,机器人
参考例句:
  • This is a fully functional automaton.这是一个有全自动功能的机器人。
  • I get sick of being thought of as a political automaton.我讨厌被看作政治机器。
18 utterance dKczL     
n.用言语表达,话语,言语
参考例句:
  • This utterance of his was greeted with bursts of uproarious laughter.他的讲话引起阵阵哄然大笑。
  • My voice cleaves to my throat,and sob chokes my utterance.我的噪子哽咽,泣不成声。
19 countenance iztxc     
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同
参考例句:
  • At the sight of this photograph he changed his countenance.他一看见这张照片脸色就变了。
  • I made a fierce countenance as if I would eat him alive.我脸色恶狠狠地,仿佛要把他活生生地吞下去。
20 vivacious Dp7yI     
adj.活泼的,快活的
参考例句:
  • She is an artless,vivacious girl.她是一个天真活泼的女孩。
  • The picture has a vivacious artistic conception.这幅画气韵生动。
21 abruptly iINyJ     
adv.突然地,出其不意地
参考例句:
  • He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
  • I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。
22 helping 2rGzDc     
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的
参考例句:
  • The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
  • By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
23 doorway 2s0xK     
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径
参考例句:
  • They huddled in the shop doorway to shelter from the rain.他们挤在商店门口躲雨。
  • Mary suddenly appeared in the doorway.玛丽突然出现在门口。
24 recollected 38b448634cd20e21c8e5752d2b820002     
adj.冷静的;镇定的;被回忆起的;沉思默想的v.记起,想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • I recollected that she had red hair. 我记得她有一头红发。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • His efforts, the Duke recollected many years later, were distinctly half-hearted. 据公爵许多年之后的回忆,他当时明显只是敷衍了事。 来自辞典例句
25 ominous Xv6y5     
adj.不祥的,不吉的,预兆的,预示的
参考例句:
  • Those black clouds look ominous for our picnic.那些乌云对我们的野餐来说是个不祥之兆。
  • There was an ominous silence at the other end of the phone.电话那头出现了不祥的沉默。
26 aggrieved mzyzc3     
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词)
参考例句:
  • He felt aggrieved at not being chosen for the team. 他因没被选到队里感到愤愤不平。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She is the aggrieved person whose fiance&1& did not show up for their wedding. 她很委屈,她的未婚夫未出现在他们的婚礼上。 来自《简明英汉词典》
27 detailed xuNzms     
adj.详细的,详尽的,极注意细节的,完全的
参考例句:
  • He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
  • A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。
28 outlay amlz8A     
n.费用,经费,支出;v.花费
参考例句:
  • There was very little outlay on new machinery.添置新机器的开支微乎其微。
  • The outlay seems to bear no relation to the object aimed at.这费用似乎和预期目的完全不相称。
29 exhausted 7taz4r     
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的
参考例句:
  • It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长,到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
  • Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
30 humiliation Jd3zW     
n.羞辱
参考例句:
  • He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。
  • He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。
31 dreary sk1z6     
adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的
参考例句:
  • They live such dreary lives.他们的生活如此乏味。
  • She was tired of hearing the same dreary tale of drunkenness and violence.她听够了那些关于酗酒和暴力的乏味故事。
32 saner 3d0ae5c6cab45f094fb6af1ae9c6423f     
adj.心智健全的( sane的比较级 );神志正常的;明智的;稳健的
参考例句:
  • He seemed wiser than Hurstwood, saner and brighter than Drouet. 他看上去比赫斯渥明智,比杜洛埃稳舰聪明。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
  • Such brooding didn't make him any saner. 然而,苦思冥想并没有使他头脑清醒。 来自辞典例句


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