Beyond the fact that his daughter was in constant communication with the Miss Milvains, he knew, and could discover, nothing of the terms on which she stood with the girls’ brother, and this ignorance was harder to bear than full assurance of a disagreeable fact would have been. That a man like Jasper Milvain, whose name was every now and then forced upon his notice as a rising periodicalist and a faithful henchman of the unspeakable Fadge — that a young fellow of such excellent prospects12 should seriously attach himself to a girl like Marian seemed to him highly improbable, save, indeed, for the one consideration, that Milvain, who assuredly had a very keen eye to chances, might regard the girl as a niece of old John Yule, and therefore worth holding in view until it was decided14 whether or not she would benefit by her uncle’s decease. Fixed15 in his antipathy16 to the young man, he would not allow himself to admit any but a base motive17 on Milvain’s side, if, indeed, Marian and Jasper were more to each other than slight acquaintances; and he persuaded himself that anxiety for the girl’s welfare was at least as strong a motive with him as mere18 prejudice against the ally of Fadge, and, it might be, the reviewer of ‘English Prose.’ Milvain was quite capable of playing fast and loose with a girl, and Marian, owing to the peculiar19 circumstances of her position, would easily be misled by the pretence20 of a clever speculator.
That she had never spoken again about the review in The Current might receive several explanations. Perhaps she had not been able to convince herself either for or against Milvain’s authorship; perhaps she had reason to suspect that the young man was the author; perhaps she merely shrank from reviving a discussion in which she might betray what she desired to keep secret. This last was the truth. Finding that her father did not recur22 to the subject, Marian concluded that he had found himself to be misinformed. But Yule, though he heard the original rumour23 denied by people whom in other matters he would have trusted, would not lay aside the doubt that flattered his prejudices. If Milvain were not the writer of the review, he very well might have been; and what certainty could be arrived at in matters of literary gossip?
There was an element of jealousy24 in the father’s feeling. If he did not love Marian with all the warmth of which a parent is capable, at least he had more affection for her than for any other person, and of this he became strongly aware now that the girl seemed to be turning from him. If he lost Marian, he would indeed be a lonely man, for he considered his wife of no account.
Intellectually again, he demanded an entire allegiance from his daughter; he could not bear to think that her zeal25 on his behalf was diminishing, that perhaps she was beginning to regard his work as futile26 and antiquated27 in comparison with that of the new generation. Yet this must needs be the result of frequent intercourse28 with such a man as Milvain. It seemed to him that he remarked it in her speech and manner, and at times he with difficulty restrained himself from a reproach or a sarcasm29 which would have led to trouble.
Had he been in the habit of dealing30 harshly with Marian, as with her mother, of course his position would have been simpler. But he had always respected her, and he feared to lose that measure of respect with which she repaid him. Already he had suffered in her esteem31, perhaps more than he liked to think, and the increasing embitterment32 of his temper kept him always in danger of the conflict he dreaded33. Marian was not like her mother; she could not submit to tyrannous usage. Warned of that, he did his utmost to avoid an outbreak of discord35, constantly hoping that he might come to understand his daughter’s position, and perhaps discover that his greatest fear was unfounded.
Twice in the course of the summer he inquired of his wife whether she knew anything about the Milvains. But Mrs Yule was not in Marian’s confidence.
‘I only know that she goes to see the young ladies, and that they do writing of some kind.’
‘She never even mentions their brother to you?’
‘Never. I haven’t heard his name from her since she told me the Miss Milvains weren’t coming here again.’
He was not sorry that Marian had taken the decision to keep her friends away from St Paul’s Crescent, for it saved him a recurring36 annoyance37; but, on the other hand, if they had continued to come, he would not have been thus completely in the dark as to her intercourse with Jasper; scraps38 of information must now and then have been gathered by his wife from the girls’ talk.
Throughout the month of July he suffered much from his wonted bilious39 attacks, and Mrs Yule had to endure a double share of his ill-temper, that which was naturally directed against her, and that of which Marian was the cause. In August things were slightly better; but with the return to labour came a renewal of Yule’s sullenness40 and savageness42. Sundry44 pieces of ill-luck of a professional kind — warnings, as he too well understood, that it was growing more and more difficult for him to hold his own against the new writers — exasperated45 his quarrel with destiny. The gloom of a cold and stormy September was doubly wretched in that house on the far borders of Camden Town, but in October the sun reappeared and it seemed to mollify the literary man’s mood. Just when Mrs Yule and Marian began to hope that this long distemper must surely come to an end, there befell an incident which, at the best of times, would have occasioned misery46, and which in the present juncture47 proved disastrous48.
It was one morning about eleven. Yule was in his study; Marian was at the Museum; Mrs Yule had gone shopping. There came a sharp knock at the front door, and the servant, on opening, was confronted with a decently-dressed woman, who asked in a peremptory49 voice if Mrs Yule was at home.
‘No? Then is Mr Yule?’
‘Yes, mum, but I’m afraid he’s busy.’
‘I don’t care, I must see him. Say that Mrs Goby wants to see him at once.’
The servant, not without apprehensions50, delivered this message at the door of the study.
‘Mrs Goby? Who is Mrs Goby?’ exclaimed the man of letters, irate51 at the disturbance52.
There sounded an answer out of the passage, for the visitor had followed close.
‘I am Mrs Goby, of the ‘Olloway Road, wife of Mr C. 0. Goby, ‘aberdasher. I just want to speak to you, Mr Yule, if you please, seeing that Mrs Yule isn’t in.’
Yule started up in fury, and stared at the woman, to whom the servant had reluctantly given place.
‘What business can you have with me? If you wish to see Mrs Yule, come again when she is at home.’
‘No, Mr Yule, I will not come again!’ cried the woman, red in the face. ‘I thought I might have had respectable treatment here, at all events; but I see you’re pretty much like your relations in the way of behaving to people, though you do wear better clothes, and — I s’pose — call yourself a gentleman. I won’t come again, and you shall just hear what I’ve got to say.
She closed the door violently, and stood in an attitude of robust53 defiance54.
‘What’s all this about?’ asked the enraged55 author, overcoming an impulse to take Mrs Goby by the shoulders and throw her out — though he might have found some difficulty in achieving this feat56. ‘Who are you? And why do you come here with your brawling57?’
‘I’m the respectable wife of a respectable man — that’s who I am, Mr Yule, if you want to know. And I always thought Mrs Yule was the same, from the dealings we’ve had with her at the shop, though not knowing any more of her, it’s true, except that she lived in St Paul’s Crezzent. And so she may be respectable, though I can’t say as her husband behaves himself very much like what he pretends to be. But I can’t say as much for her relations in Perker Street, ‘Olloway, which I s’pose they’re your relations as well, at least by marriage. And if they think they’re going to insult me, and use their blackguard tongues — ’
‘What are you talking about?’ shouted Yule, who was driven to frenzy58 by the mention of his wife’s humble59 family. ‘What have I to do with these people?’
‘What have you to do with them? I s’pose they’re your relations, ain’t they? And I s’pose the girl Annie Rudd is your niece, ain’t she? At least, she’s your wife’s niece, and that comes to the same thing, I’ve always understood, though I dare say a gentleman as has so many books about him can correct me if I’ve made a mistake.’
She looked scornfully, though also with some surprise, round the volumed walls.
‘And what of this girl? Will you have the goodness to say what your business is?’
‘Yes, I will have the goodness! I s’pose you know very well that I took your niece Annie Rudd as a domestic servant’ — she repeated this precise definition — ‘as a domestic servant, because Mrs Yule ‘appened to ‘arst me if I knew of a place for a girl of that kind, as hadn’t been out before, but could be trusted to do her best to give satisfaction to a good mistress? I s’pose you know that?’
‘I know nothing of the kind. What have I to do with servants?’
‘Well, whether you’ve much to do with them or little, that’s how it was. And nicely she’s paid me out, has your niece, Miss Rudd. Of all the trouble I ever had with a girl! And now when she’s run away back ‘ome, and when I take the trouble to go arfter her, I’m to be insulted and abused as never was! Oh, they’re a nice respectable family, those Rudds! Mrs Rudd — that’s Mrs Yule’s sister — what a nice, polite-spoken lady she is, to be sure? If I was to repeat the language — but there, I wouldn’t lower myself. And I’ve been a brute60 of a mistress; I ill-use my servants, and I don’t give ’em enough to eat, and I pay ’em worse than any woman in London! That’s what I’ve learnt about myself by going to Perker Street, ‘Olloway. And when I come here to ask Mrs Yule what she means by recommending such a creature, from such a ‘ome, I get insulted by her gentleman husband.’
Yule was livid with rage, but the extremity61 of his scorn withheld62 him from utterance63 of what he felt.
‘As I said, all this has nothing to do with me. I will let Mrs Yule know that you have called. I have no more time to spare.’
Mrs Goby repeated at still greater length the details of her grievance64, but long before she had finished Yule was sitting again at his desk in ostentatious disregard o{her. Finally, the exasperated woman flung open the door, railed in a loud voice along the passage, and left the house with an alarming crash.
It was not long before Mrs Yule returned. Before taking off her things, she went down into the kitchen with certain purchases, and there she learnt from the servant what had happened during her absence. Fear and trembling possessed65 her — the sick, faint dread34 always excited by her husband’s wrath66 — but she felt obliged to go at once to the study. The scene that took place there was one of ignoble67 violence on Yule’s part, and, on that of his wife, of terrified self-accusation68, changing at length to dolorous69 resentment70 of the harshness with which she was treated. When it was over, Yule took his hat and went out.
He did not return for the mid71-day meal, and when Marian, late in the afternoon, came back from the Museum, he was still absent.
Not finding her mother in the parlour, Marian called at the head of the kitchen stairs. The servant answered, saying that Mrs Yule was up in her bedroom, and that she didn’t seem well. Marian at once went up and knocked at the bedroom door. In a moment or two her mother came out, showing a face of tearful misery.
‘What is it, mother? What’s the matter?’
They went into Marian’s room, where Mrs Yule gave free utterance to her lamentations.
‘I can’t put up with it, Marian! Your father is too hard with me.
I was wrong, I dare say, and I might have known what would have come of it, but he couldn’t speak to me worse if I did him all the harm I could on purpose. It’s all about Annie, because I found a place for her at Mrs Goby’s in the ‘Olloway Road; and now Mrs Goby’s been here and seen your father, and told him she’s been insulted by the Rudds, because Annie went off home, and she went after her to make inquiries72. And your father’s in such a passion about it as never was. That woman Mrs Goby rushed into the study when he was working; it was this morning, when I happened to be out. And she throws all the blame on me for recommending her such a girl. And I did it for the best, that I did! Annie promised me faithfully she’d behave well, and never give me trouble, and she seemed thankful to me, because she wasn’t happy at home. And now to think of her causing all this disturbance! I oughtn’t to have done such a thing without speaking about it to your father; but you know how afraid I am to say a word to him about those people. And my sister’s told me so often I ought to be ashamed of myself never helping73 her and her children; she thinks I could do such a lot if I only liked. And now that I did try to do something, see what comes of it!’
Marian listened with a confusion of wretched feelings. But her sympathies were strongly with her mother; as well as she could understand the broken story, her father seemed to have no just cause for his pitiless rage, though such an occasion would be likely enough to bring out his worst faults.
‘Is he in the study?’ she asked.
‘No, he went out at twelve o’clock, and he’s never been back since. I feel as if I must do something; I can’t bear with it, Marian. He tells me I’m the curse of his life — yes, he said that. I oughtn’t to tell you, I know I oughtn’t; but it’s more than I can bear. I’ve always tried to do my best, but it gets harder and harder for me. But for me he’d never be in these bad tempers; it’s because he can’t look at me without getting angry. He says I’ve kept him back all through his life; but for me he might have been far better off than he is. It may be true; I’ve often enough thought it. But I can’t bear to have it told me like that, and to see it in his face every time he looks at me. I shall have to do something. He’d be glad if only I was out of his way.’
‘Father has no right to make you so unhappy,’ said Marian. ‘I can’t see that you did anything blameworthy; it seems to me that it was your duty to try and help Annie, and if it turned out unfortunately, that can’t be helped. You oughtn’t to think so much of what father says in his anger; I believe he hardly knows what he does say. Don’t take it so much to heart, mother.’
‘I’ve tried my best, Marian,’ sobbed74 the poor woman, who felt that even her child’s sympathy could not be perfect, owing to the distance put between them by Marian’s education and refined sensibilities. ‘I’ve always thought it wasn’t right to talk to you about such things, but he’s been too hard with me to-day.’
‘I think it was better you should tell me. It can’t go on like this; I feel that just as you do. I must tell father that he is making our lives a burden to us.’
‘Oh, you mustn’t speak to him like that, Marian! I wouldn’t for anything make unkindness between you and your father; that would be the worst thing I’d done yet. I’d rather go away and work for my own living than make trouble between you and him.’
‘It isn’t you who make trouble; it’s father. I ought to have spoken to him before this; I had no right to stand by and see how much you suffered from his ill-temper.’
The longer they talked, the firmer grew Marian’s resolve to front her father’s tyrannous ill-humour, and in one way or another to change the intolerable state of things. She had been weak to hold her peace so long; at her age it was a simple duty to interfere75 when her mother was treated with such flagrant injustice76. Her father’s behaviour was unworthy of a thinking man, and he must be made to feel that.
Yule did not return. Dinner was delayed for half an hour, then Marian declared that they would wait no longer. They two made a sorry meal, and afterwards went together into the sitting-room77. At eight o’clock they heard the front door open, and Yule’s footstep in the passage. Marian rose.
‘Don’t speak till to-morrow!’ whispered her mother, catching78 at the girl’s arm. ‘Let it be till to-morrow, Marian!’
‘I must speak! We can’t live in this terror.’
She reached the study just as her father was closing the door behind him. Yule, seeing her enter, glared with bloodshot eyes; shame and sullen41 anger were blended on his countenance79.
‘Will you tell me what is wrong, father?’ Marian asked, in a voice which betrayed her nervous suffering, yet indicated the resolve with which she had come.
‘I am not at all disposed to talk of the matter,’ he replied, with the awkward rotundity of phrase which distinguished80 him in his worst humour. ‘For information you had better go to Mrs Goby — or a person of some such name — in Holloway Road. I have nothing more to do with it.’
‘It was very unfortunate that the woman came and troubled you about such things. But I can’t see that mother was to blame; I don’t think you ought to be so angry with her.’
It cost Marian a terrible effort to address her father in these terms. When he turned fiercely upon her, she shrank back and felt as if strength must fail her even to stand.
‘You can’t see that she was to blame? Isn’t it entirely81 against my wish that she keeps up any intercourse with those low people? Am I to be exposed to insulting disturbance in my very study, because she chooses to introduce girls of bad character as servants to vulgar women?’
‘I don’t think Annie Rudd can be called a girl of bad character, and it was very natural that mother should try to do something for her. You have never actually forbidden her to see her relatives.’
‘A thousand times I have given her to understand that I utterly82 disapproved83 of such association. She knew perfectly84 well that this girl was as likely as not to discredit85 her. If she had consulted me, I should at once have forbidden anything of the kind; she was aware of that. She kept it secret from me, knowing that it would excite my displeasure. I will not be drawn86 into such squalid affairs; I won’t have my name spoken in such connection. Your mother has only herself to blame if I am angry with her.’
‘Your anger goes beyond all bounds. At the very worst, mother behaved imprudently, and with a very good motive. It is cruel that you should make her suffer as she is doing.’
Marian was being strengthened to resist. Her blood grew hot; the sensation which once before had brought her to the verge10 of conflict with her father possessed her heart and brain.
‘You are not a suitable judge of my behaviour,’ replied Yule, severely87.
‘I am driven to speak. We can’t go on living in this way, father. For months our home has been almost ceaselessly wretched, because of the ill-temper you are always in. Mother and I must defend ourselves; we can’t bear it any longer. You must surely feel how ridiculous it is to make such a thing as happened this morning the excuse for violent anger. How can I help judging your behaviour? When mother is brought to the point of saying that she would rather leave home and everything than endure her misery any longer, I should be wrong if I didn’t speak to you. Why are you so unkind? What serious cause has mother ever given you?’
‘I refuse to argue such questions with you.’
‘Then you are very unjust. I am not a child, and there’s nothing wrong in my asking you why home is made a place of misery, instead of being what home ought to be.’
‘You prove that you are a child, in asking for explanations which ought to be clear enough to you.’
‘You mean that mother is to blame for everything?’
‘The subject is no fit one to be discussed between a father and his daughter. If you cannot see the impropriety of it, be so good as to go away and reflect, and leave me to my occupations.’
Marian came to a pause. But she knew that his rebuke88 was mere unworthy evasion89; she saw that her father could not meet her look, and this perception of shame in him impelled90 her to finish what she had begun.
‘I will say nothing of mother, then, but speak only for myself. I suffer too much from your unkindness; you ask too much endurance.’
‘You mean that I exact too much work from you?’ asked her father, with a look which might have been directed to a recalcitrant91 clerk.
‘No. But that you make the conditions of my work too hard. I live in constant fear of your anger.’
‘Indeed? When did I last ill-use you, or threaten you?’
‘I often think that threats, or even ill-usage, would be easier to bear than an unchanging gloom which always seems on the point of breaking into violence.’
‘I am obliged to you for your criticism of my disposition92 and manner, but unhappily I am too old to reform. Life has made me what I am, and I should have thought that your knowledge of what my life has been would have gone far to excuse a lack of cheerfulness in me.’
The irony93 of this laborious94 period was full of self-pity. His voice quavered at the close, and a tremor95 was noticeable in his stiff frame.
‘It isn’t lack of cheerfulness that I mean, father. That could never have brought me to speak like this.’
‘If you wish me to admit that I am bad-tempered96, surly, irritable97 — I make no difficulty about that. The charge is true enough. I can only ask you again: What are the circumstances that have ruined my temper? When you present yourself here with a general accusation of my behaviour, I am at a loss to understand what you ask of me, what you wish me to say or do. I must beg you to speak plainly. Are you suggesting that I should make provision for the support of you and your mother away from my intolerable proximity98? My income is not large, as I think you are aware, but of course, if a demand of this kind is seriously made, I must do my best to comply with it.’
‘It hurts me very much that you can understand me no better than this.’
‘I am sorry. I think we used to understand each other, but that was before you were subjected to the influence of strangers.’
In his perverse99 frame of mind he was ready to give utterance to any thought which confused the point at issue. This last allusion100 was suggested to him by a sudden pang101 of regret for the pain he was causing Marian; he defended himself against self-reproach by hinting at the true reason of much of his harshness.
‘I am subjected to no influence that is hostile to you,’ Marian replied.
‘You may think that. But in such a matter it is very easy for you to deceive yourself.’
‘Of course I know what you refer to, and I can assure you that I don’t deceive myself.’
Yule flashed a searching glance at her.
‘Can you deny that you are on terms of friendship with a — a person who would at any moment rejoice to injure me?’
‘I am friendly with no such person. Will you say whom you are thinking of?’
‘It would be useless. I have no wish to discuss a subject on which we should only disagree unprofitably.’
Marian kept silence for a moment, then said in a low, unsteady voice:
‘It is perhaps because we never speak of that subject that we are so far from understanding each other. If you think that Mr Milvain is your enemy, that he would rejoice to injure you, you are grievously mistaken.’
‘When I see a man in close alliance with my worst enemy, and looking to that enemy for favour, I am justified103 in thinking that he would injure me if the right kind of opportunity offered. One need not be very deeply read in human nature to have assurance of that.’
‘But I know Mr Milvain!’
‘You know him?’
‘Far better than you can, I am sure. You draw conclusions from general principles; but I know that they don’t apply in this case.’
‘I have no doubt you sincerely think so. I repeat that nothing can be gained by such a discussion as this.’
‘One thing I must tell you. There was no truth in your suspicion that Mr Milvain wrote that review in The Current. He assured me himself that he was not the writer, that he had nothing to do with it.’
Yule looked askance at her, and his face displayed solicitude104, which soon passed, however, into a smile of sarcasm.
‘The gentleman’s word no doubt has weight with you.’
‘Father, what do you mean?’ broke from Marian, whose eyes of a sudden flashed stormily. ‘Would Mr Milvain tell me a lie?’
‘I shouldn’t like to say that it is impossible,’ replied her father in the same tone as before.
‘But — what right have you to insult him so grossly?’
‘I have every right, my dear child, to express an opinion about him or any other man, provided I do it honestly. I beg you not to strike attitudes and address me in the language of the stage. You insist on my speaking plainly, and I have spoken plainly. I warned you that we were not likely to agree on this topic.’
‘Literary quarrels have made you incapable105 of judging honestly in things such as this. I wish I could have done for ever with the hateful profession that so poisons men’s minds.’
‘Believe me, my girl,’ said her father, incisively106, ‘the simpler thing would be to hold aloof107 from such people as use the profession in a spirit of unalloyed selfishness, who seek only material advancement108, and who, whatever connection they form, have nothing but self-interest in view.’
And he glared at her with much meaning. Marian — both had remained standing102 all through the dialogue — cast down her eyes and became lost in brooding.
‘I speak with profound conviction,’ pursued her father, ‘and, however little you credit me with such a motive, out of desire to guard you against the dangers to which your inexperience is exposed. It is perhaps as well that you have afforded me this — ’
There sounded at the house-door that duplicated double-knock which generally announces the bearer of a telegram. Yule interrupted himself, and stood in an attitude of waiting. The servant was heard to go along the passage, to open the door, and then return towards the study. Yes, it was a telegram. Such despatches rarely came to this house; Yule tore the envelope, read its contents, and stood with gaze fixed upon the slip of paper until the servant inquired if there was any reply for the boy to take with him.
‘No reply.’
He slowly crumpled109 the envelope, and stepped aside to throw it into the paper-basket. The telegram he laid on his desk. Marian stood all the time with bent110 head; he now looked at her with an expression of meditative111 displeasure.
‘I don’t know that there’s much good in resuming our conversation,’ he said, in quite a changed tone, as if something of more importance had taken possession of his thoughts and had made him almost indifferent to the past dispute. ‘But of course I am quite willing to hear anything you would still like to say.
Marian had lost her vehemence112. She was absent and melancholy113.
‘I can only ask you,’ she replied, ‘to try and make life less of a burden to us.’
‘I shall have to leave town to-morrow for a few days; no doubt it will be some satisfaction to you to hear that.’
Marian’s eyes turned involuntarily towards the telegram.
‘As for your occupation in my absence,’ he went on, in a hard tone which yet had something tremulous, emotional, making it quite different from the voice he had hitherto used, ‘that will be entirely a matter for your own judgment114. I have felt for some time that you assisted me with less good-will than formerly, and now that you have frankly115 admitted it, I shall of course have very little satisfaction in requesting your aid. I must leave it to you; consult your own inclination116.’
It was resentful, but not savage43; between the beginning and the end of his speech he softened117 to a sort of self-satisfied pathos118.
‘I can’t pretend,’ replied Marian, ‘that I have as much pleasure in the work as I should have if your mood were gentler.’
‘I am sorry. I might perhaps have made greater efforts to appear at ease when I was suffering.’
‘Do you mean physical suffering?’
‘Physical and mental. But that can’t concern you. During my absence I will think of your reproof119. I know that it is deserved, in some degree. If it is possible, you shall have less to complain of in future.’
He looked about the room, and at length seated himself; his eyes were fixed in a direction away from Marian.
‘I suppose you had dinner somewhere?’ Marian asked, after catching a glimpse of his worn, colourless face.
‘Oh, I had a mouthful of something. It doesn’t matter.’
It seemed as if he found some special pleasure in assuming this tone of martyrdom just now. At the same time he was becoming more absorbed in thought.
‘Shall I have something brought up for you, father?’
‘Something —? Oh no, no; on no account.’
He rose again impatiently, then approached his desk, and laid a hand on the telegram. Marian observed this movement, and examined his face; it was set in an expression of eagerness.
‘You have nothing more to say, then?’ He turned sharply upon her.
‘I feel that I haven’t made you understand me, but I can say nothing more.’
‘I understand you very well — too well. That you should misunderstand and mistrust me, I suppose, is natural. You are young, and I am old. You are still full of hope, and I have been so often deceived and defeated that I dare not let a ray of hope enter my mind. Judge me; judge me as hardly as you like. My life has been one long, bitter struggle, and if now — . I say,’ he began a new sentence, ‘that only the hard side of life has been shown to me; small wonder if I have become hard myself. Desert me; go your own Way, as the young always do. But bear in mind my warning. Remember the caution I have given you.’
He spoke21 in a strangely sudden agitation120. The arm with which he leaned upon the table trembled violently. After a moment’s pause he added, in a thick voice:
‘Leave me. I will speak to you again in the morning.’
Impressed in a way she did not understand, Marian at once obeyed, and rejoined her mother in the parlour. Mrs Yule gazed anxiously at her as she entered.
‘Don’t be afraid,’ said Marian, with difficulty bringing herself to speak. ‘I think it will be better.’
‘Was that a telegram that came?’ her mother inquired after a silence.
‘Yes. I don’t know where it was from. But father said he would have to leave town for a few days.’
They exchanged looks.
‘Perhaps your uncle is very ill,’ said the mother in a low voice.
‘Perhaps so.’
The evening passed drearily121. Fatigued122 with her emotions, Marian went early to bed; she even slept later than usual in the morning, and on descending123 she found her father already at the breakfast-table. No greeting passed, and there was no conversation during the meal. Marian noticed that her mother kept glancing at her in a peculiarly grave way; but she felt ill and dejected, and could fix her thoughts on no subject. As he left the table Yule said to her:
‘I want to speak to you for a moment. I shall be in the study.’
She joined him there very soon. He looked coldly at her, and said in a distant tone:
‘The telegram last night was to tell me that your uncle is dead.’
‘Dead!’
‘He died of apoplexy, at a meeting in Wattleborough. I shall go down this morning, and of course remain till after the funeral. I see no necessity for your going, unless, of course, it is your desire to do so.’
‘No; I should do as you wish.’
‘I think you had better not go to the Museum whilst I am away. You will occupy yourself as you think fit.’
‘I shall go on with the Harrington notes.’
‘As you please. I don’t know what mourning it would be decent for you to wear; you must consult with your mother about that. That is all I wished to say.’
His tone was dismissal. Marian had a struggle with herself but she could find nothing to reply to his cold phrases. And an hour or two afterwards Yule left the house without leave-taking.
Soon after his departure there was a visitor’s rat-tat at the door; it heralded124 Mrs Goby. In the interview which then took place Marian assisted her mother to bear the vigorous onslaughts of the haberdasher’s wife. For more than two hours Mrs Goby related her grievances125, against the fugitive126 servant, against Mrs Yule, against Mr Yule; meeting with no irritating opposition127, she was able in this space of time to cool down to the temperature of normal intercourse, and when she went forth128 from the house again it was in a mood of dignified129 displeasure which she felt to be some recompense for the injuries of yesterday.
A result of this annoyance was to postpone130 conversation between mother and daughter on the subject of John Yule’s death until a late hour of the afternoon. Marian was at work in the study, or endeavouring to work, for her thoughts would not fix themselves on the matter in hand for many minutes together, and Mrs Yule came in with more than her customary diffidence.
‘Have you nearly done for to-day, dear?’
‘Enough for the present, I think.’
She laid down her pen, and leant back in the chair.
‘Marian, do you think your father will be rich?’
‘I have no idea, mother. I suppose we shall know very soon.’
Her tone was dreamy. She seemed to herself to be speaking of something which scarcely at all concerned her, of vague possibilities which did not affect her habits of thought.
‘If that happens,’ continued Mrs Yule, in a low tone of distress131, ‘I don’t know what I shall do.’
Marian looked at her questioningly.
‘I can’t wish that it mayn’t happen,’ her mother went on; ‘I can’t, for his sake and for yours; but I don’t know what I shall do. He’d think me more in his way than ever. He’d wish to have a large house, and live in quite a different way; and how could I manage then? I couldn’t show myself; he’d be too much ashamed of me. I shouldn’t be in my place; even you’d feel ashamed of me.’
‘You mustn’t say that, mother. I have never given you cause to think that.’
‘No, my dear, you haven’t; but it would be only natural. I couldn’t live the kind of life that you’re fit for. I shall be nothing but a hindrance132 and a shame to both of you.’
‘To me you would never be either hindrance or shame; be quite sure of that. And as for father, I am all but certain that, if he became rich, he would be a very much kinder man, a better man in every way. It is poverty that has made him worse than he naturally is; it has that effect on almost everybody. Money does harm, too, sometimes; but never, I think, to people who have a good heart and a strong mind. Father is naturally a warm-hearted man; riches would bring out all the best in him. He would be generous again, which he has almost forgotten how to be among all his disappointments and battlings. Don’t be afraid of that change, but hope for it.’
Mrs Yule gave a troublous sigh, and for a few minutes pondered anxiously.
‘I wasn’t thinking so much about myself’ she said at length. ‘It’s the hindrance I should be to father. Just because of me, he mightn’t be able to use his money as he’d wish. He’d always be feeling that if it wasn’t for me things would be so much better for him and for you as well.’
‘You must remember,’ Marian replied, ‘that at father’s age people don’t care to make such great changes. His home life, I feel sure, wouldn’t be so very different from what it is now; he would prefer to use his money in starting a paper or magazine. I know that would be his first thought. If more acquaintances came to his house, what would that matter? It isn’t as if he wished for fashionable society. They would be literary people, and why ever shouldn’t you meet with them?’
‘I’ve always been the reason why he couldn’t have many friends.’
‘That’s a great mistake. If father ever said that, in his bad temper, he knew it wasn’t the truth. The chief reason has always been his poverty. It costs money to entertain friends; time as well. Don’t think in this anxious way, mother. If we are to be rich, it will be better for all of us.’
Marian had every reason for seeking to persuade herself that this was true. In her own heart there was a fear of how wealth might affect her father, but she could not bring herself to face the darker prospect13. For her so much depended on that hope of a revival133 of generous feeling under sunny influences.
It was only after this conversation that she began to reflect on all the possible consequences of her uncle’s death. As yet she had been too much disturbed to grasp as a reality the event to which she had often looked forward, though as to something still remote, and of quite uncertain results. Perhaps at this moment, though she could not know it, the course of her life had undergone the most important change. Perhaps there was no more need for her to labour upon this ‘article’ she was manufacturing.
She did not think it probable that she herself would benefit directly by John Yule’s will. There was no certainty that even her father would, for he and his brother had never been on cordial terms. But on the whole it seemed likely that he would inherit money enough to free him from the toil134 of writing for periodicals. He himself anticipated that. What else could be the meaning of those words in which (and it was before the arrival of the news) he had warned her against ‘people who made connections only with self-interest in view?’ This threw a sudden light upon her father’s attitude towards Jasper Milvain. Evidently he thought that Jasper regarded her as a possible heiress, sooner or later. That suspicion was rankling135 in his mind; doubtless it intensified136 the prejudice which originated in literary animosity.
Was there any truth in his suspicion? She did not shrink from admitting that there might be. Jasper had from the first been so frank with her, had so often repeated that money was at present his chief need. If her father inherited substantial property, would it induce Jasper to declare himself more than her friend? She could view the possibility of that, and yet not for a moment be shaken in her love. It was plain that Jasper could not think of marrying until his position and prospects were greatly improved; practically, his sisters depended upon him. What folly137 it would be to draw back if circumstances led him to avow138 what hitherto he had so slightly disguised! She had the conviction that he valued her for her own sake; if the obstacle between them could only be removed, what matter how?
Would he be willing to abandon Clement139 Fadge, and come over to her father’s side? If Yule were able to found a magazine?
Had she read or heard of a girl who went so far in concessions140, Marian would have turned away, her delicacy141 offended. In her own case she could indulge to the utmost that practicality which colours a woman’s thought even in mid passion. The cold exhibition of ignoble scheming will repel142 many a woman who, for her own heart’s desire, is capable of that same compromise with her strict sense of honour.
Marian wrote to Dora Milvain, telling her what had happened. But she refrained from visiting her friends.
Each night found her more restless, each morning less able to employ herself. She shut herself in the study merely to be alone with her thoughts, to be able to walk backwards143 and forwards, or sit for hours in feverish144 reverie. From her father came no news. Her mother was suffering dreadfully from suspense145, and often had eyes red with weeping. Absorbed in her own hopes and fears, whilst every hour harassed146 her more intolerably, Marian was unable to play the part of an encourager; she had never known such exclusiveness of self-occupation.
Yule’s return was unannounced. Early in the afternoon, when he had been absent five days, he entered the house, deposited his travelling-bag in the passage, and went upstairs. Marian had come out of the study just in time to see him up on the first landing; at the same moment Mrs Yule ascended147 from the kitchen.
‘Wasn’t that father?’
‘Yes, he has gone up.’
‘Did he say anything?’
Marian shook her head. They looked at the travelling-bag, then went into the parlour and waited in silence for more than a quarter of an hour. Yule’s foot was heard on the stairs; he came down slowly, paused in the passage, entered the parlour with his usual grave, cold countenance.
点击收听单词发音
1 conversed | |
v.交谈,谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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2 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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3 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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4 conscientiousness | |
责任心 | |
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5 preoccupied | |
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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6 irreconcilable | |
adj.(指人)难和解的,势不两立的 | |
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7 renewal | |
adj.(契约)延期,续订,更新,复活,重来 | |
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8 mutual | |
adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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9 divergence | |
n.分歧,岔开 | |
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10 verge | |
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临 | |
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11 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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12 prospects | |
n.希望,前途(恒为复数) | |
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13 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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14 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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15 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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16 antipathy | |
n.憎恶;反感,引起反感的人或事物 | |
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17 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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18 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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19 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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20 pretence | |
n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
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21 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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22 recur | |
vi.复发,重现,再发生 | |
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23 rumour | |
n.谣言,谣传,传闻 | |
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24 jealousy | |
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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25 zeal | |
n.热心,热情,热忱 | |
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26 futile | |
adj.无效的,无用的,无希望的 | |
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27 antiquated | |
adj.陈旧的,过时的 | |
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28 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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29 sarcasm | |
n.讥讽,讽刺,嘲弄,反话 (adj.sarcastic) | |
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30 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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31 esteem | |
n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作 | |
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32 embitterment | |
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33 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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34 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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35 discord | |
n.不和,意见不合,争论,(音乐)不和谐 | |
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36 recurring | |
adj.往复的,再次发生的 | |
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37 annoyance | |
n.恼怒,生气,烦恼 | |
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38 scraps | |
油渣 | |
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39 bilious | |
adj.胆汁过多的;易怒的 | |
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40 sullenness | |
n. 愠怒, 沉闷, 情绪消沉 | |
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41 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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42 savageness | |
天然,野蛮 | |
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43 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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44 sundry | |
adj.各式各样的,种种的 | |
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45 exasperated | |
adj.恼怒的 | |
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46 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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47 juncture | |
n.时刻,关键时刻,紧要关头 | |
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48 disastrous | |
adj.灾难性的,造成灾害的;极坏的,很糟的 | |
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49 peremptory | |
adj.紧急的,专横的,断然的 | |
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50 apprehensions | |
疑惧 | |
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51 irate | |
adj.发怒的,生气 | |
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52 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
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53 robust | |
adj.强壮的,强健的,粗野的,需要体力的,浓的 | |
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54 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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55 enraged | |
使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 ); 歜; 激愤 | |
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56 feat | |
n.功绩;武艺,技艺;adj.灵巧的,漂亮的,合适的 | |
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57 brawling | |
n.争吵,喧嚷 | |
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58 frenzy | |
n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动 | |
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59 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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60 brute | |
n.野兽,兽性 | |
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61 extremity | |
n.末端,尽头;尽力;终极;极度 | |
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62 withheld | |
withhold过去式及过去分词 | |
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63 utterance | |
n.用言语表达,话语,言语 | |
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64 grievance | |
n.怨愤,气恼,委屈 | |
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65 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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66 wrath | |
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
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67 ignoble | |
adj.不光彩的,卑鄙的;可耻的 | |
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68 accusation | |
n.控告,指责,谴责 | |
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69 dolorous | |
adj.悲伤的;忧愁的 | |
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70 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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71 mid | |
adj.中央的,中间的 | |
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72 inquiries | |
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听 | |
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73 helping | |
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
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74 sobbed | |
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说 | |
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75 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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76 injustice | |
n.非正义,不公正,不公平,侵犯(别人的)权利 | |
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77 sitting-room | |
n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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78 catching | |
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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79 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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80 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
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81 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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82 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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83 disapproved | |
v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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84 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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85 discredit | |
vt.使不可置信;n.丧失信义;不信,怀疑 | |
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86 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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87 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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88 rebuke | |
v.指责,非难,斥责 [反]praise | |
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89 evasion | |
n.逃避,偷漏(税) | |
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90 impelled | |
v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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91 recalcitrant | |
adj.倔强的 | |
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92 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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93 irony | |
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄 | |
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94 laborious | |
adj.吃力的,努力的,不流畅 | |
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95 tremor | |
n.震动,颤动,战栗,兴奋,地震 | |
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96 bad-tempered | |
adj.脾气坏的 | |
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97 irritable | |
adj.急躁的;过敏的;易怒的 | |
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98 proximity | |
n.接近,邻近 | |
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99 perverse | |
adj.刚愎的;坚持错误的,行为反常的 | |
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100 allusion | |
n.暗示,间接提示 | |
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101 pang | |
n.剧痛,悲痛,苦闷 | |
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102 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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103 justified | |
a.正当的,有理的 | |
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104 solicitude | |
n.焦虑 | |
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105 incapable | |
adj.无能力的,不能做某事的 | |
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106 incisively | |
adv.敏锐地,激烈地 | |
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107 aloof | |
adj.远离的;冷淡的,漠不关心的 | |
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108 advancement | |
n.前进,促进,提升 | |
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109 crumpled | |
adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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110 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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111 meditative | |
adj.沉思的,冥想的 | |
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112 vehemence | |
n.热切;激烈;愤怒 | |
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113 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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114 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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115 frankly | |
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说 | |
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116 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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117 softened | |
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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118 pathos | |
n.哀婉,悲怆 | |
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119 reproof | |
n.斥责,责备 | |
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120 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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121 drearily | |
沉寂地,厌倦地,可怕地 | |
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122 fatigued | |
adj. 疲乏的 | |
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123 descending | |
n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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124 heralded | |
v.预示( herald的过去式和过去分词 );宣布(好或重要) | |
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125 grievances | |
n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 );苦衷;不满;牢骚 | |
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126 fugitive | |
adj.逃亡的,易逝的;n.逃犯,逃亡者 | |
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127 opposition | |
n.反对,敌对 | |
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128 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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129 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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130 postpone | |
v.延期,推迟 | |
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131 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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132 hindrance | |
n.妨碍,障碍 | |
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133 revival | |
n.复兴,复苏,(精力、活力等的)重振 | |
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134 toil | |
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事 | |
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135 rankling | |
v.(使)痛苦不已,(使)怨恨不已( rankle的现在分词 ) | |
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136 intensified | |
v.(使)增强, (使)加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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137 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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138 avow | |
v.承认,公开宣称 | |
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139 clement | |
adj.仁慈的;温和的 | |
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140 concessions | |
n.(尤指由政府或雇主给予的)特许权( concession的名词复数 );承认;减价;(在某地的)特许经营权 | |
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141 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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142 repel | |
v.击退,抵制,拒绝,排斥 | |
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143 backwards | |
adv.往回地,向原处,倒,相反,前后倒置地 | |
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144 feverish | |
adj.发烧的,狂热的,兴奋的 | |
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145 suspense | |
n.(对可能发生的事)紧张感,担心,挂虑 | |
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146 harassed | |
adj. 疲倦的,厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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147 ascended | |
v.上升,攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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